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What’s It Like to Be Human, You Say? Anne Burton, Tell Us How In “Being Human – A User Guide!”

Published on August 22, 2019September 12, 2019 by Roshonda BLeave a comment

Featured Image: Anne Burton

Disclosure: This book was gifted to me by Anne’s publishing company in exchange for my honest review. All views concerning this book are 100% my own and not of anyone else’s.

I know what you must be thinking and Anne stated this in her book, “Why in the world would someone ask, what’s it like to be human?” I mean, don’t you know? – you are human, right?

Of course, I am! Otherwise you’d be reading something that a robot wrote, but no I’m very much human and hopefully, you are too, unless you really are a robot reading this…hmm…

Being human is a trait that we all should “know” how to do and do very well, because “being human” means, you’re just being yourself, right? but according to Anne Burton’s book “Being Human – A User Guide” being human is far more entailed than it sounds. The user guide was created by Burton and is based on her own learning experiences and personal journeys over the last 10yrs and our mind and actions play a big role in both. Things, Burton stated she wished she’d known when her children were babies.

“I wrote it because the contents of this book have helped me enormously and because I wish I had known about it sooner, when my children were babies, because there are things I would have done differently. I wrote it because I wanted to share what I have learned so far in this experience of being human.”
Anne Burton, Author – Being Human

There are many things that I’ve encountered in my life and I sometimes say, “If I knew then, what I know now” Mannn, I would do things so differently! If those issues are not handled, we take those negative vibes into adulthood and begin to act out in ways that are not normal and therefore use excuses for our behavior. Anne mentioned it in her book but I’ve always heard people say, “I was born this way” or “I can’t help the way I act” – but, no one is born a certain way or born to have a negative attitude, it’s a mind thing. Anne refers to this as the “Nature vs. Nurture” debate in which she states research says that experience and environment can change our gene expression and that genes can be switched on and off. I’m a believer that life and circumstances shape us, maybe our family background wasn’t so great, however; I’ve seen people not become products of those environments and “chose” a different and more positive path.

Being Human – A User’s Guide is what this is all about. The influences, behavior’s and experiences that either shape our life for the better or the worse. According to Anne’s book, we spend the first seven years of our lives (that’s from the time we’re born up until 7 yrs old) in somewhat of a trance. Information gets into our brain through our senses of sight, smell, hearing, taste, and feeling. We process it, make meaning from it and then our brain stores it without us even knowing its done such a thing.

That part was really powerful to me; it’s amazing because I don’t really remember when I was 3 or even 4, 5 or 6 yrs old. I remember bits and pieces or you can say glimpses of things during that period. Interestingly enough there are quite a few random memories that have come up out of the blue either from childhood or even early adulthood that I didn’t remember doing or knew my brain held on too.

Anne calls these experiences “Programs” where our brain takes our memories, experiences, sights, smells and sounds and create scenarios which tell us how to respond, act, communicate, make friends and even down to what we put in our mouth to eat.

Another program our brain is good at is keeping us in line with our HABITS!

Habits are those things that we do without even giving it a second thought, things that our brain knows we should be doing automatically and programs us to do it. Ever heard the saying “It takes 21 days to create a habit.” And I still believe that’s true, however, I do believe in most cases that if we do something repeatedly for 5 days, our brain picks it up as a daily routine and next thing you know, our body becomes in sync with that newfound thing and it’s a wrap, sort of. The more you do it, the more the habit grows. Ever felt funny about not doing something that you would normally do on a daily basis? It’s almost like you can’t function because something’s missing from your day.

Anne states that all these programs are run automatically, like an alarm going off at a particular time. There was something else Anne mentioned in her book, that made me do a little research on and that’s “left-brain thinking” – In Being Human, Anne believes that it’s this type of thinking that keeps us stressed out, rather than what I call – Living in the moment and letting some things go..

Now, I have to tell you, I didn’t understand or even know that there was such a thing as left-brain nor right-brain thinking, but there really is and what I found out was pretty interesting.

It’s said that people are either one or the other “left or right” brain thinkers – meaning one side of their brain is more dominant than the other side. According to Healthline; If you’re more analytical and methodical in your thinking, you’re said to be left-brained. If you tend to be more creative or artistic, you’re thought to be right-brained.

Per Anne’s book and the information I learned, I realized – I’m right-brained. How about you? The left and right brain thinking is just a little piece of what Being Human or as I’d like to call it, understanding how our human nature acts, responds and communicate with everyday life issues is only the half…

Anne also believes that we have six programs that make up our human operating system. Burton believes that these entities may need an upgrade or reboot to support the day by day processes of being human and to get us to where we want to be in our lives.

They are the Six C’s of Being Human:

Consciousness
Communication
Connection
Courage
Creativity
Compassion

Burton states that all these programs are linked together and dependent upon each other to work properly if one is more valued than the other, Burton states we could and will feel the detrimental effect of how the other ones respond. Therefore she advises that you work on each of them daily.

“I don’t know what you should do with your life or what you want to achieve only you know that. This is about taking care of aspects of your life that will help you whatever it is that you decide to do ”
Anne Burton, Author – Being Human

Being Human – A User Guide per Burton is not a book that’ll make you change in an instant. It takes time and with practice, you’d be able to make subtle changes to your mind as well as your environment. Look, we all have issues, maybe we didn’t have the best childhood or maybe your childhood was great and the pitfalls came in when you became an adult. Thing is, we all have something to work on, things that can make us do better, be better and live better but it takes the practice of trying to do the right things as well as make the right choices every single day. We may not be able to change where we’ve been, but we can definitely change where we’re going and that my friend is what Being Human is all about…

TO GET YOUR OWN COPY OF “BEING HUMAN – A USER’S GUIDE” YOU CAN VISIT AMAZON.COM

About Author Anne Burton

Anne Burton was born in Chesterfield, Derbyshire in 1965. Before starting to write the BEING HUMAN book series she worked as an accountant in industry. Here she learned first hand how difficult change can seem and how the way that we live our lives has, for many of us, become disconnected from what we need to function well as human beings. This realization leads to her passion for understanding why we do the things we do and what determines how we experience the world we live in.

Sunday’s Thought: When You Give More, Receive Less & Pout About It!

Published on October 21, 2018April 18, 2019 by Roshonda B2 Comments

The pictures above and below courtesy of pexels and bing

Did I tell you that last week I woke up in the middle of the night, crying my eyeballs out! I was so emotional and for some reason or another, that week just seemed to be a rollercoaster ride of them all because I was feeling some type a way about something that I honestly couldn’t control – ever been there??

Going to work the following day, no one would’ve even guessed or imagined that I had that bout of sadness, I guess it’s because I’m so used to trying to be the smile or the light for others to see – but what happens when I need a smile or a light and no one’s there to give it back to me – What happens when I, HOLD UP – let me capitalize it “EXPECT” people to do things for me because I loyal in doing something for them; is it wrong for me to expect that same loyalty back in return? What happens when I don’t get it?

Have u ever went above and beyond to do good for someone, but found yourself not getting that same dedication back in return?

Let me just say, I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit and I found myself literally having a pity party over it – I wanted people to put the same heart, time and effort into doing for me, as I did for them. However; my hopes, dreams, and fantasies of wanting this to be so, was NOT so!

There’s a scripture in the bible that says “”Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” Matthew 7:12 (NLT). I can’t tell you how long I’ve misunderstood this verse, because in my mind – I was doing for others with the anticipation that they would and should ((let me be transparent and honest here)) do to ME! I mean, look at what I was doing or had done for them.

But, God gave me a revelation of that scripture in my “pouty” breakdown that night and it goes like this: Do for others, the way you yourself would like to be treated and handled; be the light! That’s how you must conduct your business when it comes to someone else, does that make sense? It’s not about what people can do for you in return because of what you did for them; it’s more about “how” you would like to overall see people treated because in doing so, we’re actually displaying Gods love in which was a FREE for all who wanted it.

I mean, look at it this way…..

Jesus had 12 disciples who were supposed to have his back, right? Just because they were walking with someone who was perfect, didn’t mean that they were. They all let Jesus down “BIG” time!! Peter loved him and denied him, so much so he went into a cursing fit. Judas betrayed him and felt bad later, so much so – he hung himself. Matthew was a cheater and no telling what hurts, habits and hang-ups the others had (you know everything wasn’t written in scripture) and you know the saddest thing of it all??- when Jesus needed them the most they slept on him. Here he was in the garden of Gethsemane balling his eyes out and sweating up a storm because he knew he was about to die. I can only imagine the pain he must’ve been feeling at that time – the agony, the factor of just wanting someone to comfort him and no one was available, even after all the things he had done, the people he had helped and the miracles he had performed; in the end when he needed someone the most, no one was there but his heavenly father.

Does this remind you of some of the people you deal with today? Friends, Family, co-workers, acquaintances and so forth. So you might ask, well what does all of this mean? It means that everyone’s NOT going to be there for us or have our backs – if Jesus experienced it and got over it, so can WE!

My mother used to say “It’s not what they do to you – It’s what you do to THEM! – Greater is he that’s within us than he that’s within the world. 1 John 4:4. I don’t know if you’ve experienced any of this before but I just want you to know that even in my dreadful moments; God was there and he dried my tears away. I know it’s hard sometimes to think on the “positive” side when you’re feeling down – but when God brought to my mind what he had been through, with his own friends. It made me realize that I wasn’t alone.

I reached out to my friend and she shared a powerful message with me – Read it and use it to step over the pouting and crying hurdles in your life – Use it to help move you ahead and continue treating people the way “God” intends for us to treat them, no matter what and that’s with great, deep-seated, unjudging (((( LOVE ))))

My Friend Shanae’s text message is below but first (a little backstory as to why I texted her) The pouty night I had was a result over the concerns I had with my new faith-based book “Billy Wolf and the Kids of Heavenly Hills Elementary” and how people weren’t responding as I thought they should’ve, people (a.k.a friends) that I thought would have my back and buy the book, didn’t. I also had concerns about the people that purchased the book, people whom I asked to leave a positive review after reading it but they didn’t leave a review at all, even to this day. Afterwhile, my emotions took over and I began to think that maybe I wrote a horrible book that people really hated but was too afraid to tell me!!!

Suddenly, the feel-good emotion I had with writing it became feelings of insecurity and regret, I began to doubt myself and wanted to pull the book from the shelf. So, I texted Shanae and asked: “Sis tell me the truth, Is my book bad??” and this is what she wrote back:

“Yes, I understand how frustrating that is. Especially when you think people are going to support in a certain way. I’ve learned that many people will get the book but never read it. Buying it is their way of supporting. And yes, its super difficult to get people to actually read it because that requires them to slow down and focus on something other than their own stuff. Don’t stress yourself out over the reviews or getting people to read it. God has blessed you with this work and those that are called to read and review will do it without the hassle. Try not to harbor any animosity toward them and stop asking. Forgive them if they never do it and move forward with your promo etc. Your book is great and those that read it will be blessed greatly.”

No matter what gift or dream you have. Don’t give up on it – Sometimes you’ll hear crickets before you hear an applause. Keep doing what you’re doing – IT REALLY IS GOOD! Take it from ME! –

Mindsets & Mental Stress

Published on March 29, 2018March 29, 2018 by Roshonda B3 Comments

photo above courtesy of bing

Recently, as me and my brother-in-law were talking, he began to tell me how he was mentally tired. He works all the time it seems like and really never gets a break or have a “down” time and when he is off (which is sometimes only for a day) it’s filled with other things to do, such as take the children to the doctor; mowing the lawn; taking care of things around the house that was pushed on the agenda for his next off day or meeting with his own doctors, he and my sister are both the same way when it comes down to some much needed R&R, they just don’t have the time for it!

I can totally relate to both of their dilemma’s because on top of taking care of the house, working hard to provide for two kids, making sure I stay on top of my own job and keeping up with what needs to be paid, what I did “actually” pay, to kids field trips, to making sure there’s money for this and that and keeping the car running and keeping my own health in check – where in the world is the time to settle down and BREATHE!!! at the end of the day, I’m ready to pull my hair out – LITERALLY!

Mental-Exhaustion3 — **HELP, PLEASSSSSSEEEEEE!!**

We have to find the time and balance to take care of ourselves – No, seriously….we do! It’s detrimental that we do, not only for our sanity but for our overall health. I’ve often heard people say, “I’ll have plenty of time to rest, when I’m DEAD!” and while that is very true; I don’t want to, as Rihanna sings “WERK, WERK, WERK, WERK , WERK, WERK” until I’m dead or so sick until I can’t do anything at all. Some people feel as though they have to plan for some elaborate trip in order to get away and get some ME TIME in, and that’s great – but we all know that sometimes plans are meant to be cancelled. You don’t have to plan for a big trip or go away to some remote location to get a little mental clarity, now don’t get me wrong, if you have it like that and truly plan to go through with it, by all means, do what you have to do; but sometimes there are a couple of simple things we can do right now, before plan that big trip.

Listed below are a couple of things that I currently do to get some “me time” in everyday, while they may be very simple; they’ve really helped to keep my stress level at an all time low.

Mental-Exhaustion4 — *photo taken from okclipart*

Take Your Time and Don’t Rush It

When my kids were much smaller and in daycare, I would get off of work at 5pm and rush to pick them up before 6pm (otherwise, I’d get charged a dollar for every minute after) I worked like 45min away. Sometimes it was a struggle getting there on time due to the traffic but I didn’t want to be late or pay a fine. Everything revolved around my kids when they were younger and the thought of me doing anything for myself, was a forbidden thought that I didn’t think mothers were supposed to have. One day my boss asked me, Roshonda?, “Why do you rush to get your kids – you need to take some time for yourself, get off a little early and stop by to grab you an ice-cream and enjoy it by yourself before you pick the kids up.” The thought of her saying that was like, death to my ears “Stop for Ice-Cream?” was she serious? But, she was right – sometimes we can rush life so fast until we don’t take out time to enjoy the simple things. Just because I had small kids at the time, didn’t mean that I had to forget about me – taking that ice-cream break was not only life changing but it helped my sanity as well.

De-stress and Rest

This is all about finding things you can do to make your “you” day stress free, such as going to the library, checking out that new food chain or clothing store that just opened up or scheduling a massage (you can schedule this for your next day off) or going to the park and feeding the birds or watching the water or just sitting in your car or under a tree, listening to some music or catching up on that book that’s been collecting dust on your shelf, that you promised to read months ago. You may have to think about a couple of simple things that you can do, but trust me – it’ll be worth it. Have you checked out your downtown yet?, I love walking into shops and just looking around. **Getting a good night’s rest, helps your mental clarity and health also – even if you have to schedule it; just make sure you stick to it!**

Sometimes, you gotta keep it a secret

Okay, so I’m still working on being good at this BUT – sometimes you can’t tell people when you’re off work or if you’re leaving work early OR have some spare time in your day (unless you plan to hang out with them) I say this because sometimes people have a tendency to add their to-do list on your off day. Unless it’s an emergency and people need to know you’re off for a particular reason…..It’s okay to keep the day a Hush Hush. Especially if you want to get in some extra sleep or just lounge around the house in your jammies, sipping some tea or coffee and reading the newspaper or catching up on your favorite show (now that you have the remote all to yourself). If you constantly sound the alarm when you’re off of work…..you’ll never get any rest.

Hey, Let’s Walk It Out

Exercise (as I’ve come to really know it) is a great stress relief – it gets those endorphins going and those energy levels up, making you sure to conquer the day – no matter how hard it may be. Do you eat lunch at your desk (I’m so guilty of this one)….I’m learning to stop eating lunch at my desk andddddd also, learning to leave the desk and take a walk. Sometimes, I’ll even go to my car let my seat back and turn on some music and take a nap or just eat and relax, I also take a walk around outside – especially when the day is beautiful. Walking has major benefits, for your mind and your health – it helps you de-stress from a long, busy and hectic day.

There is only one YOU and you only get one BODY, don’t lean on the motto of “I’ll rest when I’m dead” because we all will, one day but that day doesn’t have to be rushed. While, we must werk, werk, werk to make sure our necessities are not interrupted; we must take out time to make sure our mental stress and mindsets are also on our to-do list of important things to take care of as well…..

What do you do to maintain your stress levels?

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

P.S. I have a BIG, HUGE Announcement on Next Thursday 4/5/18 – Stay Tuned!!

JUNE IS IN FULL BLOOM! & So Are This Month’s Topics…

Published on June 5, 2017June 5, 2017 by Roshonda B3 Comments

IS IT JUNE ALREADY?

I promise you, It seems as if it was just a week ago when I posted the topics for May. I seriously need to put forth a protest to stop these months from moving so fast. June Already?? Wow!

Well, while the months are taking wings and flying away – so are we with the topics. I really appreciate everyone for reading and engaging in the topics we’ve had thus far. We have some topics for June that I’m sure you either can probably relate too or know someone whom has been through it.

So hold on June! Self-Help topics are back again. Without further ado, here are the topics and tips we’ll be providing for you this month.

Success in Mind, Not Wealth.

Do you really know what Success Is? I mean the first thing I used to think of when I approached the word was fancy clothes, cars, money and overall wealth of everything good. But Success is none of those things, as it starts in the mind and is exemplified in how you use that mind of yours. I’ll break down what success truly is and how you need to shape your mind concerning success by sharing my own story and provide tips of how you can obtain success now, not later.

A Renter’s Nightmare: Slumlords..

Most people rent because they either don’t have the money to purchase the home of their dreams at the time or if they owned a home; they wouldn’t have the money to fix something should it go wrong. Renters have a responsibility but landlords do as well; so, what do you do if you have a landlord that doesn’t do what he’s supposed to do, should you still pay the rent? What are your rights as a tenant? In this post I’ll be sharing my very recent experience with this issue, talk about what I learned and give you tips if you or someone you know is having issues with their landlord.

Did you say Divorce?

If you’ve ever been married and suffered through a divorce or have been separated and in the process of a divorce, then you know it’s not an easy road. No one ever thinks of the “D” word when they get engaged and eventually get married. The hope is to stay married for ever and ever and ever, unfortunately this dream doesn’t happen for everyone. In this post I’ll talk about my divorce and offer tips on how I got through it. Let’s face it, Divorce does happen and it can leave you in a rut (mentally, spiritually and physically) but you don’t have to let Divorce rule you, when you have the power to overcome it.

$20.00 or Less Lunch Week.

It may not seem like it to some people that actually know me, but I love a good bargain and I love to eat. So, when it comes to having lunch at work – I don’t have money to go out and grab something at the local fast food chain. Sometimes, all I have is 10.00 for the whole week for lunch and you know (depending on where you go), you can spend that and then some in one sitting. In this post I’ll show you how I get lunch for the whole week off of less than 20.00 and what I look for when I go to the grocery store to keep the cost low.

So stay tuned and be on the lookout every Thursday this month for a new topic. Feel free to comment, share, like or send us a message here at justsuminspiration@gmail.com. Justsuminspiration is geared toward helping you to live better and wiser, laugh louder and love harder. We don’t want you to just be Inspired but to Live an Inspired Life!

Sincerely Yours,

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Rejection Sucks! But Life Doesn’t Have Too.

Published on April 6, 2017April 6, 2017 by Roshonda B2 Comments

Rejection is one of the most devastating things that anyone can deal with. As a people when we are rejected; we tend to immediately shut down from life all together, it’s almost as if someone has handed us a death sentence and sentenced us to die – right there on the spot. And if we’re not careful, we’ll carry out that sentence by killing everything that comes within our path – we’ll put a torch to our dreams, goals and aspirations with one match.

While rejection is a hard pill to swallow, it doesn’t have to be your death sentence. Let’s face it, everyone is not going to like everything we do or say, they’re not going to like everything you wear, your opinion, your thoughts on common life issues and so forth. They’re not going to like the way you look or even your personality. People have a tendency to reject the things that they aren’t familiar with or the things that they don’t understand or have knowledge of basically due to maybe how they were raised, their own rejections or how they perceive certain things; they then take that analysis and use it to belittle and/or be demeaning to others whom either don’t think, look or act like they do.

I’ve had my share of rejection in life and it hurts, it hurts really bad because basically we take rejection as saying “We’re not Good Enough” – I have been rejected from getting certain jobs and/or positions, I’ve been rejected for how I look, the way I think, my see the glass half-full mentality, the way I dress, wear my hair. I’ve even been rejected because I have a good personality and get along with a variety of people. And if I had listened to those rejectors, I wouldn’t be here today because I would have allowed them to dictate my every move, including my dreams, aspirations and future.

Just because you’ve been rejected, don’t mean you have to go through life living that way. It took me a while to get over rejection; however, I began to read the word of God – there I was able to see and read what God thought of me (He said in Psalms 139:14) that I was fearfully and wonderfully made and his works were marvelous because he CREATED ME! (think about that). I also begin to hang around positive minded people, because we really are susceptible to our environment. I realized that it wasn’t anything wrong with me, after-all; the world would be a very boring place if everyone was exactly the same – right? Why FIT IN, when you were born to STAND OUT!

Remember these 5 tips, the next time Rejection comes a knocking at your door:

Rejection is a part of Life that everyone experiences – no exceptions.
Rejection doesn’t like “Positivity” so surround yourself with positive minded people.
Rejection isn’t always “Bad”, sometimes rejection is a good thing. If you allow it, it can help us change our focus on the problem and focus on a solution.
Move Forward – Rejection will happen and when it does, don’t allow it to stop you from enjoying life. Rejection is just a bump in the road; not an End to Life.
Just be yourself – There’s no one in the world like you and there never will be, so make the best of who you are and give rejection a kick in the butt. Because you’re here to stay! & with that mindset? you’ll continue to be undefeated by the “R” word and it’s many tactics.

Remember, Rejection doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, it just means that you hit a bump in the road – and as long as we live and breathe; we definitely will hit many bumps and curves. Keep in mind that Rejection, while hurtful could be God’s way of saying “Wrong Direction” If you learn to change your focus even towards rejection, you can and will change your LIFE towards how you allow “the R word” to rule it!

Don’t allow rejection to cause you to jump out of the plane without a parachute – You have control of your own life just make sure your parachute is packed for safe landing.

Do you have a story about Rejection and how you handled it? Tell us about it, it may just appear in a blog post (with your permission of course).