Sunday’s Thought: When You Give More, Receive Less & Pout About It!

The pictures above and below courtesy of pexels and bing

Did I tell you that last week I woke up in the middle of the night, crying my eyeballs out! I was so emotional and for some reason or another, that week just seemed to be a rollercoaster ride of them all because I was feeling some type a way about something that I honestly couldn’t control – ever been there??

Going to work the following day, no one would’ve even guessed or imagined that I had that bout of sadness, I guess it’s because I’m so used to trying to be the smile or the light for others to see – but what happens when I need a smile or a light and no one’s there to give it back to me – What happens when I, HOLD UP – let me capitalize it “EXPECT” people to do things for me because I loyal in doing something for them; is it wrong for me to expect that same loyalty back in return? What happens when I don’t get it?

Have u ever went above and beyond to do good for someone, but found yourself not getting that same dedication back in return?

Let me just say, I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit and I found myself literally having a pity party over it – I wanted people to put the same heart, time and effort into doing for me, as I did for them. However; my hopes, dreams, and fantasies of wanting this to be so, was NOT so!

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There’s a scripture in the bible that says “”Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.”  Matthew 7:12 (NLT). I can’t tell you how long I’ve misunderstood this verse, because in my mind – I was doing for others with the anticipation that they would and should ((let me be transparent and honest here)) do to ME! I mean, look at what I was doing or had done for them.

But, God gave me a revelation of that scripture in my “pouty” breakdown that night and it goes like this: Do for others, the way you yourself would like to be treated and handled; be the light! That’s how you must conduct your business when it comes to someone else, does that make sense? It’s not about what people can do for you in return because of what you did for them; it’s more about “how” you would like to overall see people treated because in doing so, we’re actually displaying Gods love in which was a FREE for all who wanted it.

I mean, look at it this way…..

Jesus had 12 disciples who were supposed to have his back, right? Just because they were walking with someone who was perfect, didn’t mean that they were. They all let Jesus down “BIG” time!! Peter loved him and denied him, so much so he went into a cursing fit. Judas betrayed him and felt bad later, so much so – he hung himself. Matthew was a cheater and no telling what hurts, habits and hang-ups the others had (you know everything wasn’t written in scripture) and you know the saddest thing of it all??- when Jesus needed them the most they slept on him.  Here he was in the garden of Gethsemane balling his eyes out and sweating up a storm because he knew he was about to die. I can only imagine the pain he must’ve been feeling at that time – the agony, the factor of just wanting someone to comfort him and no one was available, even after all the things he had done, the people he had helped and the miracles he had performed; in the end when he needed someone the most, no one was there but his heavenly father.

Does this remind you of some of the people you deal with today? Friends, Family, co-workers, acquaintances and so forth. So you might ask, well what does all of this mean? It means that everyone’s NOT going to be there for us or have our backs – if Jesus experienced it and got over it, so can WE!

My mother used to say “It’s not what they do to you – It’s what you do to THEM! – Greater is he that’s within us than he that’s within the world. 1 John 4:4. I don’t know if you’ve experienced any of this before but I just want you to know that even in my dreadful moments; God was there and he dried my tears away. I know it’s hard sometimes to think on the “positive” side when you’re feeling down – but when God brought to my mind what he had been through, with his own friends. It made me realize that I wasn’t alone.

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I reached out to my friend and she shared a powerful message with me – Read it and use it to step over the pouting and crying hurdles in your life – Use it to help move you ahead and continue treating people the way “God” intends for us to treat them, no matter what and that’s with great, deep-seated, unjudging (((( LOVE )))) 

My Friend Shanae’s text message is below but first (a little backstory as to why I texted her) The pouty night I had was a result over the concerns I had with my new faith-based book “Billy Wolf and the Kids of Heavenly Hills Elementary” and how people weren’t responding as I thought they should’ve, people (a.k.a friends) that I thought would have my back and buy the book, didn’t. I also had concerns about the people that purchased the book, people whom I asked to leave a positive review after reading it but they didn’t leave a review at all, even to this day. Afterwhile, my emotions took over and I began to think that maybe I wrote a horrible book that people really hated but was too afraid to tell me!!!

Suddenly, the feel-good emotion I had with writing it became feelings of insecurity and regret, I began to doubt myself and wanted to pull the book from the shelf. So, I texted Shanae and asked: “Sis tell me the truth, Is my book bad??”  and this is what she wrote back: 

“Yes, I understand how frustrating that is. Especially when you think people are going to support in a certain way. I’ve learned that many people will get the book but never read it. Buying it is their way of supporting. And yes, its super difficult to get people to actually read it because that requires them to slow down and focus on something other than their own stuff. Don’t stress yourself out over the reviews or getting people to read it. God has blessed you with this work and those that are called to read and review will do it without the hassle. Try not to harbor any animosity toward them and stop asking. Forgive them if they never do it and move forward with your promo etc. Your book is great and those that read it will be blessed greatly.”

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No matter what gift or dream you have. Don’t give up on it – Sometimes you’ll hear crickets before you hear an applause. Keep doing what you’re doing – IT REALLY IS GOOD! Take it from ME! – â¤ï¸

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Mindsets & Mental Stress

photo above courtesy of bing 

Recently, as me and my brother-in-law were talking, he began to tell me how he was mentally tired. He works all the time it seems like and really never gets a break or have a “down” time and when he is off (which is sometimes only for a day) it’s filled with other things to do, such as take the children to the doctor; mowing the lawn; taking care of things around the house that was pushed on the agenda for his next off day or meeting with his own doctors, he and my sister are both the same way when it comes down to some much needed R&R, they just don’t have the time for it!

I can totally relate to both of their dilemma’s because on top of taking care of the house, working hard to provide for two kids, making sure I stay on top of my own job and keeping up with what needs to be paid, what I did “actually” pay, to kids field trips, to making sure there’s money for this and that and keeping the car running and keeping my own health in check – where in the world is the time to settle down and BREATHE!!! at the end of the day, I’m ready to pull my hair out – LITERALLY!

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HELP, PLEASSSSSSEEEEEE!!

We have to find the time and balance to take care of ourselves – No, seriously….we do! It’s detrimental that we do, not only for our sanity but for our overall health. I’ve often heard people say, “I’ll have plenty of time to rest, when I’m DEAD!” and while that is very true; I don’t want to, as Rihanna sings “WERK, WERK, WERK, WERK , WERK, WERK” until I’m dead or so sick until I can’t do anything at all. Some people feel as though they have to plan for some elaborate trip in order to get away and get some ME TIME in, and that’s great – but we all know that sometimes plans are meant to be cancelled. You don’t have to plan for a big trip or go away to some remote location to get a little mental clarity, now don’t get me wrong, if you have it like that and truly plan to go through with it, by all means, do what you have to do; but sometimes there are a couple of simple things we can do right now, before plan that big trip.

Listed below are a couple of things that I currently do to get some “me time” in everyday, while they may be very simple; they’ve really helped to keep my stress level at an all time low. 

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photo taken from okclipart

 

Take Your Time and Don’t Rush It ðŸ•”

When my kids were much smaller and in daycare, I would get off of work at 5pm and rush to pick them up before 6pm (otherwise, I’d get charged a dollar for every minute after) I worked like 45min away. Sometimes it was a struggle getting there on time due to the traffic but I didn’t want to be late or pay a fine. Everything revolved around my kids when they were younger and the thought of me doing anything for myself, was a forbidden thought that I didn’t think mothers were supposed to have. One day my boss asked me, Roshonda?, “Why do you rush to get your kids – you need to take some time for yourself, get off a little early and stop by to grab you an ice-cream and enjoy it by yourself before you pick the kids up.” The thought of her saying that was like, death to my ears “Stop for Ice-Cream?” was she serious? But, she was right – sometimes we can rush life so fast until we don’t take out time to enjoy the simple things. Just because I had small kids at the time, didn’t mean that I had to forget about me – taking that ice-cream break was not only life changing but it helped my sanity as well.

De-stress and Rest ðŸ˜´

This is all about finding things you can do to make your “you” day stress free, such as going to the library, checking out that new food chain or clothing store that just opened up or scheduling a massage (you can schedule this for your next day off) or going to the park and feeding the birds or watching the water or just sitting in your car or under a tree, listening to some music or catching up on that book that’s been collecting dust on your shelf, that you promised to read months ago. You may have to think about a couple of simple things that you can do, but trust me – it’ll be worth it. Have you checked out your downtown yet?, I love walking into shops and just looking around. **Getting a good night’s rest, helps your mental clarity and health also – even if you have to schedule it; just make sure you stick to it!**

Sometimes, you gotta keep it a secret ðŸ¤«

Okay, so I’m still working on being good at this BUT – sometimes you can’t tell people when you’re off work or if you’re leaving work early OR have some spare time in your day (unless you plan to hang out with them) I say this because sometimes people have a tendency to add their to-do list on your off day. Unless it’s an emergency and people need to know you’re off for a particular reason…..It’s okay to keep the day a Hush Hush. Especially if you want to get in some extra sleep or just lounge around the house in your jammies, sipping some tea or coffee and reading the newspaper or catching up on your favorite show (now that you have the remote all to yourself). If you constantly sound the alarm when you’re off of work…..you’ll never get any rest.

Hey, Let’s Walk It Out ðŸ‘ŸðŸ‘Ÿ

Exercise (as I’ve come to really know it) is a great stress relief – it gets those endorphins going and those energy levels up, making you sure to conquer the day – no matter how hard it may be. Do you eat lunch at your desk (I’m so guilty of this one)….I’m learning to stop eating lunch at my desk andddddd also, learning to leave the desk and take a walk. Sometimes, I’ll even go to my car let my seat back and turn on some music and take a nap or just eat and relax, I also take a walk around outside – especially when the day is beautiful. Walking has major benefits, for your mind and your health – it helps you de-stress from a long, busy and hectic day.

There is only one YOU and you only get one BODY, don’t lean on the motto of “I’ll rest when I’m dead” because we all will, one day but that day doesn’t have to be rushed. While, we must werk, werk, werk to make sure our necessities are not interrupted; we must take out time to make sure our mental stress and mindsets are also on our to-do list of important things to take care of as well…..

What do you do to maintain your stress levels?

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Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

P.S. I have a BIG, HUGE Announcement on Next Thursday 4/5/18 – Stay Tuned!!

 

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JUNE IS IN FULL BLOOM! & So Are This Month’s Topics…

IS IT JUNE ALREADY?

I promise you, It seems as if it was just a week ago when I posted the topics for May. I seriously need to put forth a protest to stop these months from moving so fast. June Already?? Wow!

Well, while the months are taking wings and flying away – so are we with the topics. I really appreciate everyone for reading and engaging in the topics we’ve had thus far. We have some topics for June that I’m sure you either can probably relate too or know someone whom has been through it.

So hold on June! Self-Help topics are back again. Without further ado, here are the topics and tips we’ll be providing for you this month.

Success in Mind, Not Wealth.

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Do you really know what Success Is? I mean the first thing I used to think of when I approached the word was fancy clothes, cars, money and overall wealth of everything good. But Success is none of those things, as it starts in the mind and is exemplified in how you use that mind of yours. I’ll break down what success truly is and how you need to shape your mind concerning success by sharing my own story and provide tips of how you can obtain success now, not later.

 

A Renter’s Nightmare: Slumlords..

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Most people rent because they either don’t have the money to purchase the home of their dreams at the time or if they owned a home; they wouldn’t have the money to fix something should it go wrong. Renters have a responsibility but landlords do as well; so, what do you do if you have a landlord that doesn’t do what he’s supposed to do, should you still pay the rent? What are your rights as a tenant? In this post I’ll be sharing my very recent experience with this issue, talk about what I learned and give you tips if you or someone you know is having issues with their landlord.

 

Did you say Divorce?

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If you’ve ever been married and suffered through a divorce or have been separated and in the process of a divorce, then you know it’s not an easy road. No one ever thinks of the “D” word when they get engaged and eventually get married. The hope is to stay married for ever and ever and ever, unfortunately this dream doesn’t happen for everyone. In this post I’ll talk about my divorce and offer tips on how I got through it. Let’s face it, Divorce does happen and it can leave you in a rut (mentally, spiritually and physically) but you don’t have to let Divorce rule you, when you have the power to overcome it.

 

$20.00 or Less Lunch Week.

Lunch Budget

It may not seem like it to some people that actually know me, but I love a good bargain and I love to eat. So, when it comes to having lunch at work – I don’t have money to go out and grab something at the local fast food chain. Sometimes, all I have is 10.00 for the whole week for lunch and you know (depending on where you go), you can spend that and then some in one sitting. In this post I’ll show you how I get lunch for the whole week off of less than 20.00 and what I look for when I go to the grocery store to keep the cost low.

So stay tuned and be on the lookout every Thursday this month for a new topic. Feel free to comment, share, like or send us a message here at justsuminspiration@gmail.com. Justsuminspiration is geared toward helping you to live better and wiser, laugh louder and love harder. We don’t want you to just be Inspired but to Live an Inspired Life!

 

Sincerely Yours,

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Rejection Sucks! But Life Doesn’t Have Too.

Rejection is one of the most devastating things that anyone can deal with. As a people when we are rejected; we tend to immediately shut down from life all together, it’s almost as if someone has handed us a death sentence and sentenced us to die – right there on the spot. And if we’re not careful, we’ll carry out that sentence by killing everything that comes within our path – we’ll put a torch to our dreams, goals and aspirations with one match.

While rejection is a hard pill to swallow, it doesn’t have to be your death sentence. Let’s face it, everyone is not going to like everything we do or say, they’re not going to like everything you wear, your opinion, your thoughts on common life issues and so forth. They’re not going to like the way you look or even your personality. People have a tendency to reject the things that they aren’t familiar with or the things that they don’t understand or have knowledge of basically due to maybe how they were raised, their own rejections or how they perceive certain things; they then take that analysis and use it to belittle and/or be demeaning to others whom either don’t think, look or act like they do.

I’ve had my share of rejection in life and it hurts, it hurts really bad because basically we take rejection as saying “We’re not Good Enough” – I have been rejected from getting certain jobs and/or positions, I’ve been rejected for how I look, the way I think, my see the glass half-full mentality, the way I dress, wear my hair. I’ve even been rejected because I have a good personality and get along with a variety of people. And if I had listened to those rejectors, I wouldn’t be here today because I would have allowed them to dictate my every move, including my dreams, aspirations and future.

Just because you’ve been rejected, don’t mean you have to go through life living that way. It took me a while to get over rejection; however, I began to read the word of God – there I was able to see and read what God thought of me (He said in Psalms 139:14) that I was fearfully and wonderfully made and his works were marvelous because he CREATED ME! (think about that). I also begin to hang around positive minded people, because we really are susceptible to our environment. I realized that it wasn’t anything wrong with me, after-all; the world would be a very boring place if everyone was exactly the same – right? Why FIT IN, when you were born to STAND OUT!rejection-success

Remember these 5 tips, the next time Rejection comes a knocking at your door:

  1. Rejection is a part of Life that everyone experiences – no exceptions. 
  2. Rejection doesn’t like “Positivity” so surround yourself with positive minded people. 
  3. Rejection isn’t always “Bad”, sometimes rejection is a good thing. If you allow it, it can help us change our focus on the problem and focus on a solution.
  4. Move Forward – Rejection will happen and when it does, don’t allow it to stop you from enjoying life. Rejection is just a bump in the road; not an End to Life.
  5. Just be yourself – There’s no one in the world like you and there never will be, so make the best of who you are and give rejection a kick in the butt. Because you’re here to stay! & with that mindset? you’ll continue to be undefeated by the “R” word and it’s many tactics.

Remember, Rejection doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, it just means that you hit a bump in the road – and as long as we live and breathe; we definitely will hit many bumps and curves. Keep in mind that Rejection, while hurtful could be God’s way of saying “Wrong Direction”  If you learn to change your focus even towards rejection, you can and will change your LIFE towards how you allow “the R word” to rule it!

Don’t allow rejection to cause you to jump out of the plane without  a parachute – You have control of your own life just make sure your parachute is packed for safe landing. 

Do you have a story about Rejection and how you handled it? Tell us about it, it may just appear in a blog post (with your permission of course).

Can Someone Please Pull Me Out of this Funk?

Soooo, lately I’ve been feeling pretty – let’s say “unaccomplished.” It seems like no matter what I do, I seem to be moving backwards instead of forwards. My writing if I can be honest has even been way off, everything that I try to say just seems to come out as “BLAH, BLAH,  BLAH” sort of like the adults voice in a Charlie Brown episode almost gibberish so to speak. My mojo, aspirations, emotions and sync ALL ZAPPED!

funk-1When I pick up a pen to write…..it’s almost like it leaves my hand and goes elsewhere. I have to admit, this emotion didn’t happen overnight, It all started on a rainy day in November, the end of November to be exact, when my best friend; confidante; girl and a bag of pearls left me forever. She was my mom. I loved her sooo much, as a matter of fact – some of my writings have been based on her such as “The Ugly Duckling Experience”, “Give Like you Rich” & “Lord, I need your Help! I Think.”

She was my greatest inspiration and cheerleader; everything I did or accomplished; was because of her.  I lived to make her proud but on November 29th I felt like all of my dreams and aspirations went out the window just as her last breath did. I remember getting the news at work and when I heard the words “Mama Passed this morning” from my sister, I went into a state of shock and disbelief. As I drove what seemed like forever to get to the hospital, my mind went into flashback mode of how she took care of me as a child and fast forwarded to the many things that she rooted and cheered me on about – even the things that weren’t so good.

I could talk to her about any and everything. She always told me “I don’t only want to be your mother, but I want to be your best friend” and that she was until God called her home. I really didn’t want to believe what the doctors were telling us about mama, they weren’t saying anything that they hadn’t said before and like all those other times – I felt like mama was going to pull through this, as she had always done previously. But this time was different…..

The doctors told us in the beginning that they give her 6 months; I ran with that – as Daddy was looking into second opinions and options and we as a family tried to put our heads together on what the next steps would be as far as her care was concerned. 6 months soon turned into 3 months; those months turned into two weeks. They told us that they give her Thanksgiving and that they really didn’t look for her to make it too or past that day but man’s extremity is just an opportunity for God to work. She not only lived to Thanksgiving, but she lived five days after it…I mean, what do Doctors really know – right?

When I got to the hospital; I remember walking into the room and just walked over and laid my body across hers; I cried and cried and cried – almost inconsolable. Why did she leave me? Why did God take her now? Why didn’t he heal her?…..so many questions flooded my mind as I laid across her lifeless body. My mom was a giver, she always gave her best and her last to everyone; she loved to see people smile. All the giving that my mom did in her life and right at the end of hers, I couldn’t give her what she needed to stay alive.

While for the last couple of months, I’ve been trying to cope with her being gone – it’s been quite an adjustment. I find myself looking back on her past text messages that she sent to me and read them over and over again. Yes, I think about her a lot. Sometimes I can’t believe that she’s really gone and think that maybe I’ll soon pick up my work phone or cell and hear her voice on the other end, telling me; she played a huge joke on me – as she would always state. “I’m a good actress” but I know in my heart that will not happen as the actress took her last bow.

So, I’ve been in what some would call a funk – it’s like I know what I’m supposed to be doing but can’t seem to really do it, if that makes sense. I talk to people and laugh and smile with them but on the inside, I feel so broken and incomplete. Yes, I’ve learned to put on a serious poker face. While mama is in a better place and deep on the inside of me, I’m really happy about that. I have to get out of this funk, I crawled myself into and fast. She always wanted the best for me and my state of mind is one thing I’m sure she would want me to get under control – “You gotta live too” she would say and she couldn’t be more right. I have to LIVE TOO!

Carolyn Annette Blackmon-Greene

10/22/1961 – 11/29/2016

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Rest in Peace Mama a.k.a “Baby Mook”

Until we Chat Again, I Love You 

You’re Always in my Heart!

Roshonda a.k.a “Mookie”

Have you ever gotten yourself into a Funk? A rough time in your life where you feel stuck, depressed or just discouraged? What did you do to get through your rough patch.

This blog post is a Q&A so please feel free to leave your comments below. We never know what the smiling faces of people that have broken hearts behind them may be dealing with. Let’s help each other and others whom may befacing a serious Funk!