Comedy: Move Over! This Bladder Has To GOOOOO!!

The photo above and all below courtesy of bing

Okay, so yes – as you can see from the title; I just realized last week that not only am I getting older but my body, as much as I try to hide it completely told me the truth on last week. In which made me come to the realization that “Roshonda, you’re getting older girl” No, not that old – but in some months I’m going to be changing the guards and leaving my thirties behind to never return to them again as I move into the town of 40ville. OMGosh, that’s a little painful to say and I do really feel old now that I’m actually typing it out….where did the twenties go and now my thirties are about to say sayonara!

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Chile, let me tell you what my body did – and I’ll tell you the reason why it did this later in the post in which will be a good tip for my fellow twenty and thirty-somethings…

Well, last Tuesday I got off work. For the past couple of days, the news was talking of an impending storm and from the reports; this storm had a potential to be very catastrophic and worse than any other storm we’ve had or seen (170 Billion dollars worser, uh yeah!!). So you know when people hear things of this nature, the stores; gas stations and even the dollar tree is populated by frantic people looking for any and everything to barrel in and hunker down because as Fred Sanford used to say “Oh Lordy, It’s the Big One”

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Well, I’m the type of person where – I don’t get too moved by natural disasters, I mean don’t get me wrong I do take precaution but I can’t say that I take full precaution as the weather man or woman predicts. But, this one did have me a little concerned because when meteorologists come out the gate talking about a category 5. Maybe it’s time to prepare a little, I prayed about it but still wanted to have something at the house just in case things did unfold as predicted.

In a rush to leave out the door, I had to use the bathroom. Now, I know I should have used it before I left but I felt as if I could hold it a while longer and make it to the store to get whatever piece of bread or water was left. Once I got to the store and made my way down the deserted aisles; I knew I had missed the boat on bread as well as water. I had never seen the shelves so bare before, I mean people had to have been trampling in all day getting more than one loaf and a case of water and the store personnel couldn’t tell anyone when the next shipment would come in. So, I grabbed some peanut butter and that’s when it happened. It was like my bladder screamed at me and refused to settle down until I got to the counter to pay for my items.

With every step, I made it was like – torture. You know how it is when you have to use the bathroom so bad; you can’t think, eat or speak until you get to a bathroom! But as much as it was screaming, I was determined to make it to the noodle aisle. So there I am, walking like one of those slow mos from Baywatch through the overcrowded aisles.

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Once I made it to the noodle aisle, I managed to bend down and pick up a box of noodles and head to the self-checkout. Praying all the way there, I made my way, holding on to that peanut butter and noodles tightly as if I dared someone to take it from me…I quickly tried to check out. My bladder was on blast at this time and decided that it wasn’t taking any more of my shenanigans and pressed deeply on my uterus. Now squinting with my legs as tight as I could get them, that didn’t help as I now felt little trickles rolling down my legs –NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOWWWWWW….I was thinking to myself and to make matters worse, this woman seen a clear line and decided to come behind me” I look at her with a nervous grin, all while feeling warmth down my leg “Hi, she said” Oh really, Lady – I do NOT have time for small talk, my bladder had decided it wanted to fight me and we were at war. “You smell good?, she proceeded to say” In which I was thinking to myself – not for long. “Ehhhh, thank you – I said nervously again, as I glanced her way, all while wondering why in the heck is this self-checkout going so slow.

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And, as I finished up and knelt to get my change – My bladder won the fight and there I was peeing on the floor, I just happened to glance over at the self-checkout cashier who was looking me up and down but mostly looking down as I KNOW she saw liquid coming from up under my dress.  shakira_voice_gif_12

I got my change and hurried out of there, to the point of almost knocking someone down and I’m sure leaving drops all along the way. Poor lady behind me!!!!

Why in the world was my bladder so weak??? There was a time I could’ve held off from using the bathroom for hours at a time and now, I can’t go 5min!! Two lessons I learned from this experience, one is for me and the other is for you.

  1. For Me: NEXT TIME, USE THE BATHROOM SILLY!!!!!!!!!!

  2. For You: Please, Please, Please – don’t hold your pee. If you have to use the bathroom, use it immediately. Years of not going to the bathroom when I should’ve has now led to a very weak bladder that obviously can’t perform as efficiently anymore.

  3. If you do tend to leak a little before you get to the bathroom – a pantyliner or pad will help in these cases; to save you from humiliation and embarrassment. 

All of this was soooo embarrassing to talk about but hopefully, this will open your eyes to how neglecting our body when we’re young can lead to not so good results when we get older. Our body is our temple and if we’re good to it, it will definitely be good for us. We only get one and it’s up to us to take the bests care of it.

A well taken care of body now, will not embarrass you later. Take it from me!

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Say, have you read the latest reviews on my book? Billy Wolf & The Kids of Heavenly Hills Elementary” Check this out and oh by the way, not all of these reviewers have small children, meaning this book is for the child as well as the adult!

 

My 9-year old loved this book. When I gave it to her I noticed her actually sitting intently and reading it. She was so engaged! Although it was about bullying, she identified the positive points in the book and the happy ending left her feeling hopeful. Thank you Roshonda for writing a book that speaks to the unfortunate culture our children are living in. I pray this reaches the masses!  Shanae M. Artis, author of “This is NOT my Life! – 10 Steps to Overcoming Fear & Adversity.”

I ordered two copies, one for myself and one for my son to put in his classroom! Yolanda H.

It’s a very inspiring book and that prayer at the end; I felt that all in my SHA-NA-NA! That got me and I’ll be thinking about those words in my everyday life. Erica  – Brown Girl Table Talk (Facebook)

My favorite part was how you explained why Billy became a bully which I think is so important as well as standing up to one. Tracy C.

 

Pick up your copy here today! 

And Don’t forget to leave a review, yours might be the next one featured on a blog post!

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The Proper Way to Handle these Pimples

the photo above and below courtesy of bing and pexels

Okay, Okay – I know what you’re thinking. No, this is not Health Class 101 but I thought I would bring up the subject because I’m in my late thirties and have acne prone skin, in which I honestly thought was going to go away when I turned 20 – but sheesh here I am about to hit a century-year-old and I still get occasional pimples and besides – I have a teen and a pre-teen whose bodies are changing like the unpredictable weather we’re having, so in order to keep them from going through the horrors of having a spot-filled face like I did when I was in school, I thought I would write this post to not only help us, adults, but our kids too, so let’s go back to the good ole days…my teen years.

When I was growing up and going through puberty, I had no idea at the time how important acne really was, I knew I would get embarrassed when; out of nowhere, an ugly pimple would pop up and seem to ruin my life. I always thought that when you got a pimple it was okay to pop it, because then it wouldn’t look so bad; but what I ended up getting was a face full of dark spots that took forever to go away; in which made me want to say “SAYONARA” to the rest of my school years.

As I grew older and got wiser on how to handle my acne prone skin, it was a little too late as I felt I had already messed up my “good face” due to my lack of knowledge. But as life would have it, all that knowledge didn’t go to waste as I now have a daughter who’s in high school and experiencing the same issues as I did when I was her age.  While my ‘puberty’ years were not the best for me, I can now make her school years her best years.

Maybe you have a daughter, son, niece, nephew or friend whom may be dealing with the embarrassment of pimples. Listed below are a few simple things that I’ve learned from my own experience that hopefully will lead to a ‘good’ experience for everyone. I even have a picture below of the facial washes I’m using right now to keep my acne prone skin under control.

Clean, Clean, Clean

The best gift you can give your face every day is to keep it clean, it’s a good practice during puberty and beyond to wash your face day and night. This keeps germs at bay and allows all the dirt and/or make-up accumulated from the day to be cleaned off using a light or sensitive skin cleanser. It’s also good practice to wash your hands after you eat or do any other activity that may cause you to get your hands dirty If you’re like me – I have a bad habit of always touching my face, not giving thought to the fact that I had just touched something else.

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Astringents too Harmful? Try this…

I used to love astringents and thought they were the best thing; according to the teen models on the television when I was a teen, but what I came to realize is that astringent is not for every face type and because it contains mostly alcohol, it dried out my face. So I made the switch to witch hazel, it doesn’t contain alcohol and gets the job done without harmful side effects. Neutrogena also has an alcohol free toner in which is great as well.

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When it’s Time for the big POP!

“Don’t use your Fingers!” Most of the germs we accumulate throughout the day are on our hands and under our fingernails. If you pop a pimple then you’re not only getting those germs on your face but will cause dark spots to form later on. So, instead of your fingers, put a little witch hazel on a cotton ball and pop it. This keeps your fingers from touching your face and reduces the risk of unwanted spots.

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Food, Exercise, and Water

Eating right is a major part of our everyday living and while fried, greasy or salty foods are okay sometimes; it’s can be harmful to our bodies, especially our face. As much as possible, opt for healthier choices such as veggies, fruit, and whole grains. Drink plenty of water and stay away from sugary beverages as sugar is a breeding ground for your pores and exercise. If you give your body the right tools; it will definitely do right by you.

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When all else Fails, See the Dermatologist.

Sometimes you could be doing all the right things and still get out of control acne, that’s when it’s time to see the Dermatologist; they have a way of determining what’s going on and can prescribe you the correct dosage of medication that can help aid in you having the best skin while puberty is moving in. I have to say, this year was my first time seeing a Dermatologist ever and it was a great experience. Seeing a Dermatologist is not just for pimples but if you have moles a.k.a skin tags on your body, you might want to make an appt, just to make sure those skin tags are good and not something serious.

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Here are my two staples in which I love – I use the wash in the morning and the wipes at night before I go to bed. I love the exfoliating beads in the wash as it makes sure that all traces of dirt, makeup and etc are washed away and their not harsh either, which is another reason why I love this duo. Now I know they’re not your name brand, but they do just as good a job as those expensive brands. However, while this set works for me, it may not work for you, so find ones that work for your necessary skin issues.

My Staples

My Name

Author, Creator, Motivational Speaker, Blogger

 

 

Have you placed your order yet?

There are people ordering this book and they don’t even have kids! Let’s take a stand against Bullying and let’s put the power of speaking up back in our kid’s as well as adults hands! #silencekills #speakup #victimnomore

Order your copy today!

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It’s Time for a RESET!!!

the photo above courtesy of bitmoji

You might be wondering, okay so what’s going on and what is she talking about now! Before I answer that question, let me ask you a couple of my own…

Continue reading “It’s Time for a RESET!!!”