Featured

Learning to Be ME

by Amy R Temple

As anyone of you who may have read my previous post about living with a learning disability may recall, I have had to deal with numerous discriminatory situations as well as being rejected; simply because I didn’t “fit” the status quo.

And please don’t ask me what “status quo” is because I have no idea and even if I did, I would totally ignore it!

Anyone who knows me would tell you (my parents, especially) that I don’t like being told what to do, I just hate rules! But let’s back up a sec, I’m not saying that I will purposely go do something completely stupid and get myself arrested, Of course not. Although I have been tempted to strike someone for looking down on me for not meeting this ridiculous status quo!

It all began when I was little…

Whenever my parents would take me to this one particular pediatrician, I would be fine…until he walked in. And then I would begin to cry. Let me rephrase that…I would wail!

After a while, he asked my parents, “Have you ever considered the possibility that Amy may not be educable?” Yeah… no, I very seriously doubt that EVER crossed my Mom and Dad’s mind. Needless to say, calling me stupid didn’t win the man any brownie points. Then there was the psychologist who was going to base my intelligence on whether or not, I knew what a frankfurter was. “Did you know that Amy doesn’t know what a frankfurter is?”

“That’s because we have always called them hot dogs”, my mom said. “Oh… good point.”

Again, no brownie points were scored. To make a very long story short, what they were trying to indicate was that I was going to be in a nutshell…..pretty much, a waste. According to them, I wasnt going to amount to absolutely nothing!

“Amy will not be able to be independent.”

“Amy will always need help taking care of herself.”

“Amy will have a tendency to get lost”.

Have any of you seen the movie, “Top Gun”?

Remember the scene where Val Kilmer coughs the phrase “Bull—-”?

Mom, Dad and I have made the facial equivalent numerous times! I honestly could not have asked for a better set of parents. Other people may have given up on me, but they haven’t and won’t let me do it either. And I will always be grateful to them.

image credit: pexels

I was diagnosed 36 years ago. I have dealt with these disabilities for over half my life. It’s who I am. It’s me and if someone created an operation where you could rid me of them…

Offer it to somebody else!

What is the big hairy deal about having learning disabilities? It’s not like it’s contagious or anything! How can they think that we are not going to amount to anything because we don’t fit their ridiculous notions? They wouldn’t hire me because of them?

Fine…

I started my own dog care business nearly 13 years ago where my main focus is on walking, feeding and playing. And that just gives me more time to write. Now I may sound as if I have all my ducks in a row and yes, that is true. But that doesn’t mean, I haven’t been affected by it. I am ashamed to admit that I wasted a lot of years wondering what was wrong with me and I tried to change myself to fit other people’s approval and acceptance. I thought, what is wrong with me?

I am ashamed to admit that I wasted a lot of years wondering what was wrong with me and I tried to change myself to fit other people’s approval and acceptance. I thought, what is wrong with me? What was it about me that made them think they could do this to me? I can’t do anything about the learning disabilities, but I thought if I could change this or that, maybe I would be accepted.

image credit: pexels

I royally messed with myself mentally and emotionally for years. I don’t know how many self-help books I read, trying to find THE cure. As much as I think it stinks that I am rejected because of my learning disabilities, there is nothing I can do about it but just move on with my life. I don’t have any more time to waste. 

Accept me or don’t. It’s your call.

Me? I’ve got a life to live. So, excuse me while I go live it. 

———————————————————————–

Amy is a resident of Florida.  Since 2006, she has been self-employed in the dog care field.  In May 2017, she self-published a memoir titled “I Am Not Stupid” which is available through Amazon.  She writes for seethegoodinfo, an inspirational website and the Learning Disabilities Association’s newsletter LD Source.

Amy is a resident of Florida.  Since 2006, she has been self-employed in the dog care field.  In May 2017, she self-published a memoir titled “I Am Not Stupid” which is available through Amazon.  She writes for seethegoodinfo, an inspirational website and the Learning Disabilities Association’s newsletter LD Source.

Advertisements
Featured

What’s Up With Your Winter Skin Care Routine?

Yes, Lordy! Winter time is officially in FULL swing – I just heard earlier this week that Baltimore, Maryland got dumped with 6-8 inches of snow…..YIKES!! So, yes – winter is here and determining it’s on again, off again relationship here in the Carolina’s with cold whether one minute and 70 degree whether the next, it’s hard to figure out what to wear on a given day. In which speaking of something to wear, can I ask?

How’s your skin holding up in all this chaos! I know winter time is the time for soups and crackers and bundling up and I mean ALL the way up, especially if you’re in Baltimore. It’s the time where we forgo skin care and just throw on anything that will keep us warm. I don’t know about you, but I hate when my skin feels dry, scaly or ashy. I’m sure you do too but where is the time to take care of it when the winter is having a field day with it’s mood??….

At Night!!!

I’m a huge fan of skin care and feel as though we have to take care of it before the summer time rolls around and catch our skin care off guard! Remember how quickly the spring/summer came last year? It wasn’t enough time to get anything together. BUT! there’s hope. Good skin care in the winter will definitely show up in the summer, trust me. Will yours have a great story to tell?

Listed below are just a couple of things that I do to make sure that my skin is noticeably soft underneath the gear.

A moisturizer for this and for that

There was a time in my young life…lol, where I would use one lotion for my whole body and to make matters worse, it had no “umph” to it. Meaning, it was the watered down lotion that would go on like it was doing your skin a huge favor, only to dump it later with an ashy look. I would always have to re-apply and re-apply. I came to the realization that there’s a lotion for different parts of your body. Such as hand-cream, foot-cream and face-cream. (Yes, I would use regular lotion on my face). So first, you have to either get a lotion or body butter (my favorite) that’s thick and has olive oil, coconut oil and vitamin e in it. The thicker the better to me….

Foot Care at it’s Best

When you get out of the shower, the best moisturizer for your feet is Vaseline or a foot cream or oil and cover your feet with a sock. Now if you’re hot natured, then a nice oil or Vaseline will work without a sock. The sock keeps the moisture in and makes your feet feel noticeably soft the next morning. Make sure you add extra on those heels…

Hot Showers are a NO NO for Winter

I absolutely LOVE me a good hot shower, however – a hot shower in the winter time can damage your skin as it can severely dry it out. Lukewarm water for winter skin is the perfect temperature.

Moisturize while skin is still damp

I’ve been doing this for years. I do not dry off with a towel when my shower is done, the first thing I do is moisturize immediately after. What I’ve found is that this process makes my skin feel soft all day long without the ash effect. The damp water and my moisturizer help lock in the moisture so I won’t lose it. My favorite moisturizer after a shower is Baby Oil or Baby Oil Gel – they are my staples outside of Bath and Body Works =)

Other things you can do to make sure your skin is on point, is to use an exfoliate – I love body washes or soaps that have exfoliate beads in them. It makes my skin feel extra soft and removes dead skin cells. I also take out time and use a foot scrub as well while in the shower. Sometimes regular showers don’t do the job and can miss dirt build up around the ankle area of our feet.

A great hand-cream is good for throughout the day. Don’t trust the harsh soaps in the bathrooms when you wash your hands at work, those soaps are not only rough on the skin but leaves your hands severely dry afterwards, it’s good to have a good hand-cream on hand to add that moisture back into your most precious assets. Our hands tend to get dry throughout the day as well, so it’s good to show them a little love by dousing on a little moisture.

That wasn’t bad, right? As stated – those are just a few tips that I do to make sure my skin is well nourished during the winter months. Good skin care in the winter, determines it’s outcome in the summer. Get a good routine going now, your skin will show it’s appreciation to you months from now!

Do you have a winter skin care routine? Share in the comments below.

Announcements – Check this out!

Starting next week, I’ll have two contributors whom will be sharing posts with you!

Amy Temple, will be contributing posts until March. Amy desires to inspire the world by letting them know that anyone (disability or not) can achieve greatness. She let’s the world know through her writing that your limitations should drive you and not stop you from achieving your destiny – if you missed her work you can catch up here, here and here.
The other contributor is Fasoronti Damilola – Fash is the Founder/CEO of Prikkle Academy in Nigeria. Fasoronti is an education leader, writer, coach with a strong background in grassroots education. Through his writing he’ll tell you about his country and the projects he’s created and currently creating to put Nigeria and rural youth awareness on the map.

Dysfunctional Family & The Holiday Blues =(

The picture above courtesy of pexels

With Thanksgiving coming up next week, I thought I’d talk about family. The holidays are supposed to be the times in which we get together with family and laugh, talk, remanence, give thanks and most of EAT! But sometimes that’s not always easy, especially if you have dysfunctional family members or a MEMBER! which could make those holiday gatherings very uncomfortable.

There’s a quote that says, “Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with lots of nuts.” Does that sound like your family? Because let’s face it, we all have a family member or relatives who seem to have come from another planet than we did.

While we may all wish we can send them back for a replacement, they are still part of our family and despite the ups and downs that surround them, we have to deal with them and love them the same. I used to think that everyone had a good family except for me because we seemed to fight all the time and just when you thought everybody was getting along, something would come up out of nowhere.

It could be from something my mom said, my dad did, my sister thought or how I reacted, and the next thing we know, no one would pick up a phone for months on end.
As I got older, I realized that even the biggest families had issues and no family is perfect by any means and while my family was distant, there were other families who didn’t come together at all or allowed hatred to circle through them and build a fire that never ended.

We can’t save the world or help every dysfunctional family but listed below are a few tips to maybe keep the line of communication open with our estranged relatives before, during and after the holidays.

#1. Communicate regularly.

apple-device-cellphone-communication-594452

This may be very hard for some families because most of them have built up so many issues and have held onto so much hurt, that it’ll take several counseling sessions to get those layers pulled completely away. But I’ve found that most family situations can be solved if we can learn to talk to each other before a situation escalates out of control.

*At least you try to talk it out, even if they don’t want too*

Do your part, because at the end of the day, what YOU DID really will matter. If they choose not to conform, then you did your part – pray for them and move on. Hopefully, they’ll come around when they’re ready.

#2. Seek counseling from a family therapist.

individualtherapy

If regular communication does not succeed, then counseling is the next step. Some dysfunctional family issues may have nothing to do with you per se, but it could have something to do with what an older family member did.

Issues could’ve already been in place prior to your birth, in which the family never settled among themselves, which caused division with other family members. Counseling helps to get us past the “Then” to help us be better for the “Now” and future family generations to come.

#3. Back off but not completely.

fix-iphone-not-connected-to-itunes-device-time-out

Most families feel that most fiery problems will resolve themselves by staying away, in most cases, this only makes matters worse and hatred increase. While situations may become too strong to handle and you may have to back off just to protect yourself, don’t allow it to stay that way.

Don’t let weeks, months, or even years keep you from being connected to your family unless you have been totally pushed away and in that case – it’s not your fault or problem but the individuals who closed the door without making amends.

#4. Forgiveness is key.

Forgive

When you’ve made every attempt to bring about reconciliation, but find that there’s no effort on their part, then you have to forgive them and move on.
Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the behavior that dysfunction brings, but it allows us to learn from what happened and to let it go (in which is a process all by itself)

Remember, it’s not about what they did, what they said or what they haven’t done; it’s about what you do. Forgiveness is your pass to have peace for yourself not them.
∼∼∼∼∼∼
We cannot change our families, because we’re stuck with them forever. No matter what we think or how we feel about them, they are a part of us, and we are apart of them.
But you’ll find out that family no matter how dysfunctional it may be, is a really great addition to your life. It’s something that everyone dreams of having – even if it can’t be with their “natural” ones.

Divider-Line-Swirls

Okay, so BIG announcement. My next post will be on next Wednesday and will be my last post for the year. I know, I know – don’t cry……haha (I’m sure you’re not) Anywho, I’ll not only be taking a break from blogging but also social media as well. After next week, I won’t be posting anything until after the beginning of the year. 

What will my last post be about??? You’ll have to see next week – hint, hint: it’s going to be light and informative (the fun informative =)

Divider-Line-Swirls

See Ya Next Week Friends!!animation (5)