photo above courtesy of bing
Okay, so Christmas is a little over a week away and I’m sure if you’re like me and millions of other people, you’re going to be getting your bags packed to travel to the parents and/or in-laws house and depending on your relationship with either – it could be a dreaded day of pretending to like the current situation but in your mind, you’re on some deserted island with a margarita, a TV and your feet up (or maybe that’s my wish..lol), but anyways wherever your mind is taking you, I know it’s far far far away from where you want to be.
And, I get it because all families aren’t created equal, however it’s the holidays and you have to deal with the shenanigans and get through it especially when you have nosy or “busy” I guess I should say, family members whom ask you the same ole questions every year such as “So when are you going to get married?” or “When are you going to settle down?” or how about this one “So what happened to your last relationship?” andddddd…..”When are you going to get a real job, why did you quit the last one?” “You know you’re getting older right, so when are you going to give me a grand-baby” and the list of questions go on and on and on and on and on and, well you get my drift.
So, while I can’t provide you a magic wand ….to make you disappear when that annoying uncle comes to you with another sob story of why he wants to borrow money, knowing good and well he’s not EVER going to pay you back…I provided a couple of tips that hopefully will help you sail through the day until you get back to your “normal” life.
1. Get Those Positive Vibes Cooking Before You Head Out!
You know the environments we encounter can really be changed, if we change our outlook on the environment. When you have what I call “stinking thinking” it causes everything around you to stink! Suddenly, instead of looking at the situation with a positive view, the only thing we allow ourselves to see is the negativity of everything and soon everything everyone does begins to get on your nerves and while the situation may not be the best one, we can only control our actions within it; for our actions are the only ones we have control over. If you change your outlook, you just may see things differently than what you’ve seen before.
2. Don’t Be Rude
Yes, I know you’re saying “That’s easier said than done” and while I truly understand; you have to understand that people will be people (family or not) and you have to take them with a grain of salt, It’s nothing wrong with speaking and holding a light conversation, if you have busy bodies for family members (as we all do) and if a conversation turns south or makes you feel uncomfortable, just let them know “Hey, you know what?, I’d rather not talk about that right now but what I do want to talk about is Aunt Rubies sweet potato pie, she put her foot in that pie” this way you’ve dodged them getting into your business and turned the conversation onto something else. Hey, they may be family but your life is your life and no one needs access to that unless you give them a ticket to sit in the front row of it.
3. Be A Team Player
Ever heard the saying “There’s no “I” in T.E.A.M” well that statement is very true, if your family is anything like mine, usually (it hasn’t always been) but it’s the time of year where people put old feelings to the back-burner for the day and everyone “pretends” to get along so well. Whether it’s just a show or not, take glory in the fact that for one day your family is actually deciding to get along. Join in on the conversations, games, laughs or whatever is going on – don’t just sit on the couch with your mouth poked out looking at people as if to say “If you say one word to me, I’m going to go off” Remember, someone out there wishes they had a family and our minor situations could always be worse off than what it really is. Enjoy your family for this special time, because we never know whom will or won’t be with us the following year. Life is short, enjoy the small moments even if they are only for a second….
4. Shift your Focus
It’s so easy to recognize the faults in people, we can pick those characteristics out like popcorn but when it comes to seeing a positive attribute, we struggle because in our minds we only want to see the worse. Each of our family members, including us are not perfect – someone may have said something to you that really scarred you, so much so until you don’t think you can forgive them. We’ve all suffered “family scars and hurt” unfortunately it’s more common than need be. My family is dysfunctional, they all have issues and I’ve had times in which I’ve said “They’re Crazy, I ain’t got time for that” and have distanced myself from them and while that little grudge lasted a little while, if they were to call me now, I would talk to them as if nothing happened. Every one of us have a little crazy in us, but someone still puts up with us regardless; someone took a chance on us, knowing we weren’t lovable or easy to get along with. Your family members may not be perfect but each of them have a special quality about them, choose to find and see that quality in them, instead of the worse side of them.
This will personally be my last blog post until January 2018. I pray your holiday season is filled with love, joy, happiness and PEACE! Spend time with your family, you never know how special they are until you lose them.
Wishing you and yours a Very Merry Christmas & a Very Happy, Prosperous New Year!
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud, Inspire More & Love Harder!