Who Are These People, And Where Do they Belong in My Life!?

photo above courtesy of bing

What is friendship to you? I mean, No – like really….what is it? Do you know who your true friends are annnndddddddd…are the people you call friends now, do you know their true purpose for being in your life?

I have to say, I was shocked; stunned and a bit perplexed one day when I was thinking of someone, and when I mean someone – I mean someone that I considered a friend…all of a sudden, it was like someone tapped me on the shoulders and said “But why are they your friend?” and if I can be honest and very transparent right now, I had no idea! I mean it’s not like we hung out or even talked on the phone, maybe a text here or there but I soon realized that maybe they didn’t consider me a friend like I was considering them a friend.

Too Busy? Can’t Read it All? No Worries – Listen to this post here 

I’ve always been the type of person that instantly deemed everyone as my friend, from a person showing the smallest gesture of kindness, to the person whom maybe took out time to do something nice for me or the person who decided to ask me to lunch or even hang out with them for the day. I immediately created this “Roshonda’s Friend Wand” and magically transformed them from being ordinary to being my friend – no question about it, that’s who they were going to be to me and I to them, or so I thought…..


What dawned on me, was….

Sometimes people are put in our lives for different reasons, case in point – when my mom passed away in 2016. I had people all around me that offered their sympathy, kindness and generosity during that emotional time, in which made me feel as though we were good friends and I graciously added them to my circle – but just because they were kind, doesn’t mean that they were meant to be my friend; God could have just placed them there to be in my corner during a very difficult time in my life, which was meant to be for a season – not an eternity or an happily ever after. .

I can’t tell you how many people I’ve let in my life, to think their my friend only to be heartbroken when things don’t work out all because I was trying to hold on to someone whom was a straight up distraction or whose season in my life was probably meant to be no more than for a month or a second. Another case in point: A long time ago God told me that every guy that came into my life was not meant for me to date, he only allowed them to cross my path for a particular reason. I remember one guy I met, gave me some superior hair tips (no he wasn’t gay, I don’t think..lol) however; I had been asking God about my hair and to lead me to products that at the time, I felt would help, I had been having some issues with thinning edges and the info he gave me was LIFE! and in return, God allowed me to speak some encouraging words to him, words in which he needed in order to get to his next destination, in which was not to walk down the aisle with me, as I had so purposed in my head.

So, you see? God only had him to cross my path for that particular reason, he had sisters whom went through the same thing and therefore his attention to their situation, allowed him to give me some valuable information that I truly needed, now if I had kept him around due to a simple tip, I would have been keeping someone around that was suppose to just drop a tip and go…lol…The thing is; everyone, whether man or woman crosses our paths for different reasons and during particular seasons, it’s up to us to find out the reason for their visit, get what they have for you and move on. (depending on their true purpose)


Now don’t get me wrong, their are some people that come in our lives and they are meant to “sit for a spell” if you get my drift, who knows – they may even be with you for the long haul (until death do you part)….you never know.

However; don’t be afraid to ask God about your circle in which can be a double-edged sword because in reality we all want friends, we all want people we can hang out with, we all want people to love us and we all want to have this girl or this guy group but in the end who are they? Are these people adding value to your life….or are they draining you dry of your emotions, time, love and space. Remember, you invited them and as long as that door is opened; you’ll keep inviting people whom really have no purpose for your life – AT ALL! and it’s not that these individuals are bad it’s just that their job fulfillment in your life has expired. (Sort of like keeping old food in the fridge after the due date, if it consistently stays in there and is not removed; it’s going to cause the fridge to stink and soon it’s pollution, will cause the other food to expire quicker than it would have or add a terrible smell to it; this is what happens when you keep “seasonal people only” in your life for too long) 

My Two Pennies on the matter?: Ask God about people and their dealings in your life, why are they there and what is their purpose, you’ll be surprised that the people who’s in your life was probably only supposed to be there for a short period of time and If not inquired about, these individuals could halt us from moving forward into the destiny that God has pre-planned for our future. No worries, you’ll come across others and this time one may come across that’s meant to stay forever.

De-cluttering is not just for houses or closets but for Individuals TOO!

photo courtesy of Spectator Life


Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager




Feel Free to Follow Me on These Sites5_ (2)


The Dumbing Down Process, Goes Something Like…

photo above courtesy of vigilantcitizen

Different - drums

You see those drums above? Yeah, me too – those drums have played a significant part in my life – all my life actually; As I watched year after year after year of those drums just sitting, waiting on someone to give them a good “BANG!” I couldn’t play them because I never learned how. Can you believe, I just learned how to play them in my very late thirties and oh, how I love the sound – why hadn’t I learned how to play them all along?

Let me explain…

While those drums are very real, they aren’t ones that I actually own. You see, I believe in life we all have our very own set of drums that sit in front of us each day, waiting on us to give it a good “BOOM!” Those drums represent our voice, our personality, our characteristics in which makes us totally different from others; those drums represent our life and determine if that life is ran by our own motivation or lessened by the un-motivation of others.

When I was a little girl, my stepdad hated the way I talked….he would tell my mom “Make her quit talking like that!” this confused my mom as she was trying to figure out “Talking like what?” According to my step-dad I talked too proper, in which he later referenced as “White-folk talk” and felt like this little black girl, shouldn’t talk like them.  I mean, I didn’t know their was a differential “this is the way you talk” language for whites or blacks, or any other race for that matter. I didn’t understand what he meant, all I understood was that it made me feel bad and for a long time….at that point I dumbed down and wouldn’t hardly speak to anyone….if I got criticized for using my voice, then why use it at all.

As I got older, I began to realize that I was different from other family members – I loved to read and found it very comforting, a hobby that not everyone found fond. But reading took me away from the abusive world in which I had come to know, like when my step-dad would get drunk; he would come home and let’s just say “All hades would break loose” it was a very difficult time; so getting lost in a book and being taken away by someone else’s “perfect” world was my escape. I loved to spell and could spell anything…one day, my uncle got the dictionary and began to call out words to me and I would spell those…I was curious about the reproductive system and found reading, writing and poetry fascinating…but when people got jealous because they felt as if, I knew more than they….I dumbed down, soon those A’s and B’s became C’s and D’s.

different4“Are You Serious?” was the question my aunt asked me one day when I volunteered to go to the grocery store with her. She had just gotten her food stamps and told me that I could get anything I wanted out of the store for coming with her – well, after browsing the store I decided that I wanted some cereal, but not just any kind of cereal – I wanted a box of “Frosted Shredded Wheat” which are still my favorite cereal today. When I took the box off the shelf and brought it over to my aunt to put in the basket, she looked at me with this puzzled look on her face. “Nikki, are you serious?, this isn’t’ what you want – go and pick out what you want, I said you could get anything! she said laughing, but I didn’t budge – because those were what I wanted – after going back and forward with trying to convince her of my choice, she abruptly stated  “Those are white people cereal, you ain’t white!” – Really? because I didn’t know certain cereal were made for certain races/cultures. After we got home and hearing her mock me, laugh and basically call me weird…..I dumbed down, maybe it was best to just be like someone else – after-all, there was obviously something wrong with me.

Different1Because of those incidents and many more similar or like them, I have to be honest…being “me” was not on the good list of things that I wanted to work on or through. I always desired to be someone else, someone new, someone popular, someone cute, someone special, someone…….other than Roshonda and I dumbed down to that for many, many years. When I turned 30, it was like a light bulb went off and I had did this 360 over night; call it what you will but for me it was liberating, I suddenly didn’t care what anyone thought – I wore what I wanted to wear, no matter how unmatched or weird it was and did my own thing – those drums were getting a good dusting off and I was geared up to give them their first concert. My “let’s do this” personality and award winning smile (so I’ve been told…lol) were getting me noticed and I liked it, but just like it was when I was a kid/teen/young adult – not everyone did. Soon, I found myself going back into the dumb down hole of mediocrity like everyone else, ever heard the term “When you’re in Rome, You do as the Romans” yesss…while that may be true, it’s not always good to be like everyone else just because EVERY-ONE else is or chooses to be….sometimes it’s good to veer off course and just – do – you.

So, what are you saying Roshonda you may ask – well, I’m saying you were given one life and in this life you sometimes have one shot to make a difference or live your life the way you want too. Don’t let someone make you feel bad about your bubbly persona or your sunshine smile or even your positive personality. My mama used to always say this about cliques/friends and/or people  “Either they are going to pull you towards them or you’re going to pull them towards you” but mama left out the part…..you can just leave the group =)

You my friend were born to STAND OUT! you were never meant to FIT IN! or Dumb Down to someone’s level – you were created to make them rise to YOUR level. Don’t ever be afraid to be you because those drums are waiting on a player, will you be the one to book it’s next gig?

This is for you finger pointing

u are lovely

Because if you’re not being YOU, you’re not being TRUE! And who wants to leave this earth being a copy! 


Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

10 Black Movie Classics You Must See or Re-watch for Black History Month


Black History Month is here and while the month is short and will be over before you know it, it’s a month where African-Americans of times past and present are honored for their sacrifices, achievements and accomplishments marked throughout history. It’s a time for us to reflect on that rich history and celebrate the lives of the ones lost and present whom paved the way for generations of other African Americans to walk in freedom and while this movement is still a “work in progress” for the most part, we’re proud that they stood fearlessly in the face of adversity to make sure we have some of the luxuries we have today such as the right to vote.

One way to honor and look back on African-American culture, history, activists and the actors that played them or played parts representing such troubling times is by way of a movie. I personally love watching movies, especially the ones that portray the African-American men and women whom did so much for us. So, if you just happen to have a down day this month and want to celebrate the occasion, listed below are 10 Classic movies portrayed by African-Americans that you should watch in honor of Black History Month. In no particular order they are:

‘Purple Rain’


What better way to celebrate black history and the life of late-great music legend Prince. The musical drama features some of Prince’s most iconic songs and killer outfits.

‘Malcolm X’

Malcolm X

‘Malcolm X’ is was Spike Lee classic, portrayed by Denzel Washington. The movie chronicled the life of the civil rights hero.



Ava DuVernay made history with ‘Selma’ in 2014, becoming the first black woman to have her film nominated for “Best Picture” at the Oscars. ‘Selma’ is a portrait piece of Dr. Martin Luther King as he led the march from Selma to Montgomery for voting rights.



Free black men were conscripted to fight in the Union Army during the Civil War, but as this 1989 period drama shows, not even their willingness to sacrifice their lives for their country was enough to shield them from racism and segregation. Denzel Washington stars in the role that would nab him his first Oscar.



‘Barry’ is one of two drama films (of what will surely be many) that take a glimpse at the life of a younger former President Barack Obama, the man who would one day become the first black president of the United States.

‘The Princess & the Frog’

Princess and Frog

In 2009, Disney made history by featuring its first ever African-American princess. Anika Noni-Rose portrayed princess Tiana in this film. It’s a beautiful film in which is sure to inspire little girls of all diverse backgrounds that she too can be “A Princess”

‘The Color Purple’

Color Purple

Okay, so there’s really nothing to say about this one but – CLASSIC!!! – No matter how many times I’ve seen this movie – I always need my tissues….

‘The Wiz’

The Wiz

‘The Wiz’ in which stars Diana Ross and a very young Michael Jackson is the black version of ‘The Wizard of Oz’ story.

‘Carmen Jones’

Carmen Jones

Dorothy Dandridge became the first black woman to be nominated for a Best Actress award at the 1954 Oscars for her role in this epic musical, based on Bizet’s tragic opera ‘Carmen.’

‘A Raisin in the Sun’

Raisin in Sun

Starring Ruby Dee and Sidney Poitier, this 1961 adaptation of Lorraine Hansberry‘s play is a film about an African-American family search for the American Dream and what happens when that dream is derailed. While the older version is a true classic, the newer 2008 version in which stars Sean Combs (a.k.a P. Diddy), Sanaa Lathan, Audra McDonald & Phylicia Rashad are performances in which you wouldn’t want to miss.

These movies are sure to give you a dose of the richness of the African-American culture and a sense of why we should celebrate this month each year. We’re not just celebrating the culture but we’re acknowledging the people whom broke barriers in every arena which makes us glad to be a part of such an amazing history. You can find other classics listed here. Did your favorite make the list? If not, then what African American movie(s) are your favorite classics? Let me know in the comments.


Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Jalen Bailey is Baking Cookies & Taking Orders for V-Day!

Picture above courtesy of bing

jalen bailey1

About a year ago, I wrote a story about a phenomenal then 8yr old young man by the name of Jalen Bailey whom was cooking up pies and cookies in his kitchen, and these weren’t just any ordinary cookies and pies for the local bake sale at school or church but  had become a lifestyle job for Jalen, whom was destined to make his passion into a profit that would help both he and his mom. Jalen Bailey was using his gift of “baking” to its fullest potential. I wanted to re-share this story to shed even more light on Jalen and his skills and to inform you of how you can get your very own order from Jalen’s bakery. Now that Valentine’s Day or V-Day as I like to call it is fastly approaching, you too can get your hands on some of Jalen’s delectable sweets for either yourself or that special someone in your life. Jalen’s bakery has been doing so great, it caught the eye of Rachel Ray, YESSSSS! the number one chief herself asked Jalen to be a guest on her show. You can read all about Jalen and his reason for baking below as well as watch his appearance on Rachel Ray. I’ll have links below so you follow Jalen’s Bakery Journey and while you’re at it – you can get your yummy order in as well!!


jalen bailey


“I said I wanted to be a millionaire. I thought that wasn’t possible but now I think it is.” Jalen Bailey

Those are the words of 8-year-old Jalen Bailey who started in a baking company called “Jalen’s Bakery” right out of his mom’s small kitchen. Seeing how tiny their kitchen and house was, Jalen decided to put his gift to work by baking and selling cookies –not to get new toys, but to buy his mom a house.

According to HUFF POST, Jalen doesn’t use a cook book, but bakes all of those yummy goods from scratch! This includes his specialty peanut butter cookies, banana nut muffins and vanilla cake in a jar. Just the thought of all of those goodies are making me hungry. The prices for the treats range anywhere from $5 to $15 dollars. He and his mom will even deliver them too you (but only if you’re local).

Jalen’s mom, Sharhonda Mahan, who is a single mother, is his biggest supporter and a business-owner herself. So for Jalen starting his own business didn’t come as much of a surprise to her. According to Sharhonda, Jalen has been receiving many requests for orders and has also baked for his first event in which a vendor offered to purchase a bigger stove for him to keep baking more and more tasty goods.

“He’s very excited. It seems like the more orders he gets, the more excited he gets and the more serious he gets about his business.”

Seeing how passionate and driven her son has been for the past two years about baking and the many requests which floor their door, Sharhonda recently started a GOFUNDME page so that Jalen can start shipping to customers nationwide. The goal is $10,000 for Jalen to own a house, raise funding for college, give back to the community and learn the life of being a young entrepreneur. While this seems like a tall order for an 8-year-old; with Jalen’s drive, his mom’s support and their now booming business, I believe he will be able to complete everything on his list and more.

To keep up with Jalen and find out what he’s cooking up next, you can follow him on one of the social media sites below:

Follow Jalen on his Instagram page entitled jalensblog here

You can place your order for V-Day on his website here 

Get daily motivation, and see his latest recipes on FB here 

The goal of 10K was met, the link to the GoFundMe page above is new and was created so Jalen can help and give back to the community, his goal 2 months ago was to raise enough money to be able to giveaway 200 coats and socks to kids in need. But please visit the page as there are other philanthropy goals that Jalen is doing. What an Inspiration, Way to Go Jalen!!!


Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager


The Incredible, Strong, Bold & Beautiful Kristi Data

photo above courtesy of Kristi Data Facebook

Kristi Data
photo courtesy of Kristi Data FB 

WHAT YOU SEE…Hair done, make up done, a big bright smile, beautiful background, bright eyes, and a look of happiness, excitement, and possibility.

WHAT YOU DON’T SEE…is the fear of disappointing others, lack of self belief, body image issues, people pleaser-itis (just made that word up), anxiety filled, and the constant fear of not looking a certain way which would lead to people not likingme. Sad isn’t it 😔!

I’ve really taken a look at both of those lists, and the biggest take aways from it all is, “How do I want to feel?”, “How do I want others to feel?”, and “What can I do, be, and give to help others?” Here are my answers… I want to feel love, joy, bliss, excitement, laughter, strong, healthy, and empowered! I want others to feel what’s most important to them!

*** *** *** *** ***

I was born Jan 25, 1973 in Middletown, NY which is about 60 miles NW of NYC. From a very young age I was very active and began playing organized sports probably around age 8 or 9. I loved everything about sports and playing on a team. That excitement and enthusiasm for sports lead me to start playing volleyball in 8th grade that I became very passionate about. It was a goal to earn an athletic scholarship, and with a lot of sacrifice and discipline I achieved my goal and earned a full ride to Clemson University.

College was the most challenging 4 years of my life. I developed a pretty severe eating disorder that lasted past my college career. The number on the scale had become the meter to measure my self-worth and dictated what I ate and what I would keep down. After some scary moments of being hospitalized, I quickly realized the damaged that I was destroying myself. I went to some counseling, and eventually walked away from it. I was learning to let go of the control and to love myself.

I may have screwed up as a girlfriend and sometimes as a sister, a daughter or as a friend, because I don’t always say or do the “right things”. I have a smart mouth, I have secrets, I have scars because I have a history. Some people love me, some like me, and some people don’t. I have done good in my life. I have done bad in my life. I go without makeup, or shaving my legs sometimes. I don’t get dressed up half the time. I am random and I am silly. I will not pretend to be someone I am not. I am who I am, you can love me or not. But if I love you, I will do it with my whole heart, and I will make no apologies for the way I am. I AM ME!!! – Kristi Data

I have battled body image issues for quite some time. Yes, on the outside you would see someone who had it all together with her physical appearance, relationship, career, but was absolutely screaming on the inside for help. But that never let them see you sweat mentality was what I chose. And that’s when the Universe gave me an incredible gift about 7 years ago. It was this earth angel of a woman that I am now best friends with. We very quickly found a common passion of health, nutrition, and wanting to help others feel their best from the inside out.

Kristi Data5
She needed A Hero, So that is what She Became – Dr. DelRae Marie Messer


We had been through quite a few challenges in that time, and have grown and learned so many lessons. Some I am still learning. For the last 3 years I have been in the best shape of my life mentally, physically, and emotionally. I have consistently chosen to fuel my body with incredible nutrition, my mind with things that challenge me to grow personally, and surround myself with an incredibly energetic and loving tribe. One of my most recent goals that I achieved physically was a fitness competition. This competition was one of the most incredible experiences as it challenged me in every way possible. The biggest win was that I can now look at my body as a vessel that houses my soul. It’s a gift, and I want it to last for a very, very long time.

Kristi Data3
How am I going to live TODAY in order to create the TOMORROW I’m committed too. Tony Robbins 

Kristi, thanks so much for the encouragement and inspiration you provide to women all over the world. The world needs more super women like you, women whom are not afraid to speak up, tell their truths – reveal their flaws and keep it 💯 all the way! You really are Incredible, Strong, Beautiful & BOLD!

If you would like to follow Kristi and I believe you should – You can find her on the following social sites below. If you would like to inquire more about her fitness routine/regimen with Isagenix. I have provided a link to that site as well, please reach out to Kristi as she has some amazing people whom have tried Isagenix and are in the best shape and health of their life! She can tell you more about It!

👉  Facebook – Kristi Data 

👉  Instagram: Kristi Data (@kristidata)

👉  Kristi’s Fitness Regimine: Isagenix 

Hey, Ya’ll today is Kristi’s Birthday – Leave a comment below and give her a shoutout! I’ll let her reveal her age; just let me say – my jaw dropped when I found out!!! All I can say is that she looks absolutely A-Mazing.


Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager