I won’t keep you long here, but I will say – these are some seemingly dark and unprecedented days we’re living in and through right now. And if you’re not careful, you’ll find yourself DOOM-SCROLLINGthrough every….bit….of….information in regards to COVID-19.
Which can be a bit depressing! Don’t you think?
Let me ask you a question, have you thought about “yourself” at all during this pandemic? Such as, what are your goals, dreams and what should I be doing during this phase – because let me tell you my friends, it’s not going to last always.
Are you going to chose to struggle or THRIVE through this uncertain season, and as the saying says “Now, that is the question” – What are you doing, while the world is in panic mode and searching down toilet tissue, masks, and sanitizer. What are you doing, as Iyanla Vanzant says “In the Meantime”
The meantime can be a great place or a very lonely and cold place – it all depends on YOU! I and my best friend, Fasoranti Damilola want to help give you not only encouragement but a few tips that maybe can help you dust off those dreams and ideas and put them to work for such a time as this!
Join us this Saturday, May 2nd – 11 am (EST) and 4 pm (GMT +1) on Instagram Live
I believe that all things happen for a reason because whether you know it or not? You asked for this, you asked for more time to get yourself together and work on specific projects. You’ve been too busy to do it and make things happen – Well, you asked for it! And I know you may be saying, I DID NOT ask for a pandemic! BUT, it got your attention, right? It’s slowed you down, correct? – So now, what are you going to do with it?
Join Fash and I as I discuss ways to get over writer’s block and Fash discusses how everyday conversations can lead to great content, We both have businesses so we also want to discuss how our business can maybe help your business. We have tips, discussion and there will be room for you to ask questions!
Have you ever heard that statement before? As sure as we live and breathe I’m sure we’ve ALL heard it or unfortunately have been there and done it ourselves!
I’ve often found myself in meetings or even talking with someone and have been somewhere else. The mind is a tricky thing and a terrible thing to waste as per the UNCF (United Negro College Fund). And it’s true! The mind is indeed a terrible thing to waste but while the UNCF was referring to an education, I’m particularly talking about the mind and it’s capability of filling up with SO many ideas, schedules, goals, relationships, what someone said and how you’d wished you had said this instead; all the way to what you want to eat later that day or even two days from now – type of stuff.
The “stuff” that keeps us from being “present and available” at the moment. We miss most great moments because our mind wants to take us on a vacay of “what to do next or after” and it’s bout time to put it to rest – just for a little while.
Do you find yourself being “unavailable” due to your mind traveling west when you’re trying to go east? Here’s a couple of tips to put the mind at ease so you can focus a little clearer, literally.
#1. Cut Down That List – Like NOW!
Listen, there are only 24 hours in a day and if you put EVERYTHING you have to get done on that crazy “to-do” list. You’ll be extremely exhausted, I mean you probably already are, right? If we allow our minds to do it, it’ll make us think that everything in the world is important and has to be done right now and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s okay to schedule that oven cleaning to Thursday, it’s not like it’s going anywhere and you DON’T have to do it today.
Try to figure out what’s truly a priority vs. non priority…..what’s really important vs. not important today. Spread out the work and give yourself something to do everyday instead of all in one day!
#2. Schedule “Me” Time
I’m bad at this tip but it’s so needed. Have you ever scheduled “me time” on your to-do list? My mom would always tell us that Mondays were her “me days” – that meant, no calls and no coming over during a specific time frame on Mondays. She valued her alone times and while I didn’t always understand it because I was being the energizer bunny. Now that she’s gone, I totally get it. You need that time away from other people’s voices and faces, it truly makes you appreciate seeing them when you do. Now what she did during that time, I have no idea but “me time” is whatever you want to do without doing work or even thinking about the things you need to do. It’s a little moment to be selfish and only think about you!
#3. Put It “ALL” Away & Focus!
This one is going to take a little practice, however, remember when I said earlier that my body would be in meetings and my mind would be elsewhere? unfortunately this also happens with my children! They’d be talking to me and I’d be thinking about work, church, getting back to someone, email and etc. Not really focusing on their dilemma – in which to them, everything’s a dilemma!
Now, don’t get me wrong, tuning them out is sometimes therapy for me but when it comes to a failing grade or them having concerns in regards to a friend or teacher or themselves, those things need my undivided attention. So when cases like this happen, I’ve learned to put my phone away, sit with them and totally give them eye-to-eye attention. This way, I can provide feedback if necessary and it gives me insight as to what’s going on with them. We can easily miss serious moments when we allow our minds to time travel. Realize where you are and tell your mind that you’re going to focus on the matter at hand because, in reality, we can train our minds to do whatever we want it to do.
#4. You Need A Sleep Schedule
This definitely may sound crazy but you really do need to “schedule sleep” – if you don’t, you won’t get it and while your mind is on the go the body will shut completely down! Ever been restless at night because your mind was wondering about things you should be thinking about in the morning? I’ve been here too, more often than I’d like to admit. Most times I get up and work and others I just lay there and talk to God or just look…lol.
If you find your mind wrestling with you while you’re trying to go to sleep, try drinking some hot chamomile tea or sleepy time tea before bed (decaf of course). I also like listening to peaceful sounds such as thunder (I know this is not so peaceful but it’s calming for me). I love listening to rain sounds or ABIDE – which has sleep meditations for the nighttime. It’s also wise to put your phone on silent, so you won’t awake to every notification known to man. 30 min before bedtime, get these things in order so by sleep time – you’ll be all set to ZzZzzzzZZ.
All of these tips will not only help you be more present but more focused on what’s really important. Train that mind and don’t allow it to train you, remember YOU have control over it and not it over you.
Sanity is everything! & So is Being in the Moment! – Life’s too short not too.
Every decision we make leads us down a different path – it is up to you to decide which one.
You may not be able to change your circumstances, but you can enact change within yourself if you are willing to accept personal responsibility and guidance.
There is an age-old question that plagues so many young women today and it is not a new one. It is one that has been around for decades; ever since women in the workplace became a common sight. However, as increasing demands continue to beg on everyone’s time, this ever-evolving question proceeds to grow.
The question began from whether there was really such a notion as a happy work-life balance for women. This meant addressing the conversation that women often had to choose between their personal responsibilities vs going to work and being the financial provider for their family.
In this current society, the spectrum of technological advancements accessible to us at our fingertips has meant that women are finding it increasingly hard to merely switch between each area of life unscathed. On top of this, Social Media apps do a great job of constantly reminding us of this presented requirement to have an enviable social life going spare to feel accepted, or to download the newest fitness apps as a pre-requisite for reaching a peak state of health, digital banking apps that must be mandatory if you want for a healthy bank account, or meditation as a spiritual reminder to encourage time out, self-care, and mental health awareness. Not to mention searching for added space and time dedicated to intimate relationships and family time too. No wonder so many women are exhausted all the time!
As a Lawyer, Entrepreneur, Mother, and Wife, I share my strategy for ‘having it all’. It is based on the idea of compartmentalizing all areas of your life into eight accessible sectors and understanding how to balance all these areas. My suggestions are a guide to self-improvement and I want the experience to be a personal journey for you and to encompass all there is in life, as a working woman.
‘Having It All Now’: An Inspirational Journey to Becoming Superwoman’ is my own interpretation of advisory and solution-orientated guidance for women.
You will feel empowered and equipped to take charge of each area of your life, including:
1} Self-development. Are you truly happy in yourself or should you step away for a moment and re-evaluate life objectively, just for you.
2} Finance and wealth. How much money do you need to reach financial security and increased financial freedom? How will you do this? One small saving every day (even skipping each morning’s coffee on the way to work) will help you save.
3} Have you experienced the power of intimacy and love? The passion that comes when you least expect it, one that consumes your senses? If you need a bit of guidance here, this book explores the reasons why you are good enough, the uniqueness and qualities within yourself and how to best bring them out and how to be seen.
4} Stuck in your career? After all, how do you break through an invisible glass ceiling within your professional life? You have the ability to make a conscious decision to break with the imaginary boundaries that are products of years of false conditioning and then the rewards are yours to be had. We guide you on how to exude the confidence to make it to the next promotion and reap those rewards.
5} You are your own definition of health and beauty. There cannot be just one definition of beauty in a world so vast and different, but we do know that there is a plan to enjoying total peak health. That one does not just happen on its own.
6} Love is all that a child really wants from their parents, so take 5 minutes to hug them every day, to feel the heartbeat of your child puts the world back into perspective. That support and nurturing is also a steadfast way to encourage them to embrace the world. Remember, there is no such thing as a perfect parent, so why strive to be one?
7} Your social life can only be a reflection of the choices you make, on how you choose to spend your free time, and your ability to be a good friend. We explore how you can surround yourself with like-minded friends who will boost you in your search for balance and happiness.
8} Lastly, spirituality and creativity are your subjective choice, and once you have read through how to dispel many of the demons you may now face, there will be one important light and eye-opener that will be your guide.
The results you will get is an insight into NOT putting off the ‘luxuries’ that life has to offer you for another day, and instead to make today the day to stop and reflect on your life balance and Life choices resting in the realization that you can make the subtle changes you need so you too will begin the journey to ‘having it all now’.
About the author
Ritu Sethi is the Founder and Senior Partner of The Sethi Partnership Solicitors, recently winning the Lifetime Achievement Award in Law 2019. She is also a public speaker, and her book ‘A Woman’s Guide to Having it All now’ was voted ‘Best Inspirational Book’ by IBBF. For further information and to order your copy; visit www.ritusethi.com Or www.sethi.co.uk
Let me share what Gal-Entines is ALLLLLLLL about take it away Leslie!
Thank you my Gal pal, Leslie. I’ll take it over from here.
Yes, there is such a thing as Gal-Entines! WHICH is to be celebrated today! So happy Gal-Entines to ALL of my ladies out there. As you can see per Leslie (Amy Poehler), it’s a celebration with your gal pals whether you’re married or NOT! Now I know V-Day is officially tomorrow and it’s a day where all the single ladies are either celebrating themselves or a little pa-turd that they’re not getting the roses and the chocolates. I get it, I used to be that way too but hey, why not celebrate ourselves right? After all we deserve it, whether you’re boo’d up or NOT!
I don’t know about you but for the past 4 or 5 years, I’ve always treated “V-Day” like any other day. However, to celebrate the occasion, I’d always go and grab my favorite dish from the Olive Garden, get me a piece of cake from my other favorite place (Confection Connection) and go home to watch a good movie. And there you’d have it, Valentine’s Day was over…
This year, I wanted to do something a little different. After talking to other single gals, I realized that I wasn’t the only one that celebrated this way. There were a plethora of “single” ladies who weren’t boo’d up just like me. So why should I have to stay in the house? My sentiments, EXACTLY!.
I’m unsure how it’s all going to go down, but I’ve planned an event for our singles ministry this year all themed around the “Gals” – there will be arts and crafts, games, food, spoken word and hopefully a lot of laughs and a lot of good times. So, we’ll see how it pans out. I am asking for a small fee for this event (i.e $7) but you’d pay more than that eating out! The event is tomorrow although I know the official “Gal-Entines” day is supposed to happen the day before V-Day I just couldn’t let a Friday go to waste.
As women, we need to celebrate each other, even if you do have a boo. Gal-Entines is all about celebration and good times, something that women don’t do enough of, especially in regards to one another. I don’t know what your plans are for this Gal-Entines day or even tomorrow, but whatever you do, make sure you show the special “Gals” around you, some love and appreciation!
Plan a party, an outing or go to the movies….they have this new movie entitled “The Photograph” starring Issa Rae (Insecure) and Lakeith Stanfield (Get Out) that looks amazing and it comes out tomorrow on Valentine’s Day! (Can someone say, GIRLS TRIP!!) Anywho, no matter what you decide, make sure you get out with your best gal pals either today or sometime during the weekend to check that out or just have a really good time. Andddd It’s not too late to plan…
Listen, us gals just want to have FUN and why not do it together!! – As that’s what “Gal-Entines” is truly ALL about!
I’ve often shared many times on this blog that I’m NOT a political person and NO I’m not about to surprise you and say but you know what “I Really Am” – I’m really NOT. However, on my quest of saying YEStowards the end of last year, attending a town forum was something interesting I wanted to do in spite of my brain saying NOOOOOOO…
While I wanted to say no, I was somewhat intrigued to go and find out what a “town forum” was all about and if I can be honest, by the end of it, I was very happy I attended.
And Here’s Why …
But before I get into that, just in case you don’t know what a town forum is – let me give you the definition here: Town hall meetings also referred to as town halls or town hall forums, are a way for local and national politicians to meet with their constituents, either to hear from them on topics of interest or to discuss specific upcoming legislation or regulations. It’s a place for town members to communicate with political leaders and those running for specific positions within that community or town.
So now that you know what it is, here’s why I’m glad I participated.
For quite a few years I’ve always seen political signs around my place of residence, town, and county. That’s how I always know when there’s some type of election going on outside of the BIG one where we choose a new president of the United States. Sadly, I’ve never participated in those “smaller” elections just the big ones. However, after attending the town forum – I realized that there are individuals who represent us “more than I knew about” on a smaller level. I mean don’t get me wrong, the President of the United States plays a major role in decision making and how it affects us on a state level. The mayor of our local towns and individuals running for the council seats, represent us on a local/county level.
Attending the forum was informative, for our county – two years were up and it was time to pick a new mayor and individuals who put their name in the hat to sit on the board of elections. You had people that had served for mayor consecutively as well as others who were vying for the coveted seat. There were also individuals who served on the city council consecutively that were running again and those who were giving them a good run for their money in trying to take the seat from them.
The forum was set inside a school auditorium, once you entered you were greeted by registrants who gave you the information in regards to each candidate. They even had snacks, if you wanted those – “Guess these events last for quite a while, I thought.” – While I took my information and bypassed the snacks, I was surprised to see so many people out in support of this event. As I took my seat, there were already people sitting upfront. There was the candidate who was looking to get elected again and the newbie who was looking to get voted in. There was a moderator up reading the questions that the audience wrote down for each candidate to answer – some were specific to the current candidate and others were for the nominee and there were the occasional ones that were for both.
It was interesting to say the least, here are my takeaways in which helped me immensely when it came down to casting my vote!
#1.You Can Put A Name With A Face! – I’m sure you’ve heard this before, It’s one thing to see all those signs around the town of a person’s name. However, it’s even better to put a name and a face together, this is good – especially when you’re looking down at that voting ballot and wondering “Who the Heck is Joe Banana!” lol…
#2. You Get A Good Look At Whose Running & Their Mission/Why Statement – Another thing that will come to your mind looking down at the ballot is what the individual said in the town forum. Did their goals/actions for your community line up with your thoughts? Do they seem like they’ll get the job done? Plus you’ll have time to talk with them one on one afterward – Face and Body language of an individual is KEY!
Gain Knowledge about Your Community – there were things said on the forum that I had no idea was going on within my own community. There may even be things you can do to help out. Knowledge is POWER!
Having gone to the town forum, it made voting very easy for me. I knew the faces, heard the speeches and that’s how I made my determination. Not from a paper just being given to me upon walking into the voting arena but from my own knowledge of what I saw as well as heard. Another thing I learned was what “district” I was actually in. This is very important as everyone that has a sign plastered across the highway may not necessarily be in your district, this is more meaningful when it comes to the ones running for a council seat. So make sure the person you’re rooting for is actually IN your district. As the voting ballot will only display the ones that are.
With the biggest election happening this year, electing a new President of the U.S. I’m not a political person, however, I do vote and feel as though if you haven’t ever done it before? Try going to a town forum or paying close attention to the news of the candidates running for President in both Democratic and Republican parties for yourself. Also, while we’re on the heels of voting for a new President there are also people in your communities who are looking to get your vote as well to either stay in their current official office or the nomination of a newly elected official to take over. Find out today who those people are and see if there will be any forums and etc. going on in your community that you can attend.
You’ll be glad you did. And Surprisingly? I truly was..