Who Are These People, And Where Do they Belong in My Life!?

photo above courtesy of bing

What is friendship to you? I mean, No – like really….what is it? Do you know who your true friends are annnndddddddd…are the people you call friends now, do you know their true purpose for being in your life?

I have to say, I was shocked; stunned and a bit perplexed one day when I was thinking of someone, and when I mean someone – I mean someone that I considered a friend…all of a sudden, it was like someone tapped me on the shoulders and said “But why are they your friend?” and if I can be honest and very transparent right now, I had no idea! I mean it’s not like we hung out or even talked on the phone, maybe a text here or there but I soon realized that maybe they didn’t consider me a friend like I was considering them a friend.

Too Busy? Can’t Read it All? No Worries – Listen to this post here 

I’ve always been the type of person that instantly deemed everyone as my friend, from a person showing the smallest gesture of kindness, to the person whom maybe took out time to do something nice for me or the person who decided to ask me to lunch or even hang out with them for the day. I immediately created this “Roshonda’s Friend Wand” and magically transformed them from being ordinary to being my friend – no question about it, that’s who they were going to be to me and I to them, or so I thought…..


What dawned on me, was….

Sometimes people are put in our lives for different reasons, case in point – when my mom passed away in 2016. I had people all around me that offered their sympathy, kindness and generosity during that emotional time, in which made me feel as though we were good friends and I graciously added them to my circle – but just because they were kind, doesn’t mean that they were meant to be my friend; God could have just placed them there to be in my corner during a very difficult time in my life, which was meant to be for a season – not an eternity or an happily ever after. .

I can’t tell you how many people I’ve let in my life, to think their my friend only to be heartbroken when things don’t work out all because I was trying to hold on to someone whom was a straight up distraction or whose season in my life was probably meant to be no more than for a month or a second. Another case in point: A long time ago God told me that every guy that came into my life was not meant for me to date, he only allowed them to cross my path for a particular reason. I remember one guy I met, gave me some superior hair tips (no he wasn’t gay, I don’t think..lol) however; I had been asking God about my hair and to lead me to products that at the time, I felt would help, I had been having some issues with thinning edges and the info he gave me was LIFE! and in return, God allowed me to speak some encouraging words to him, words in which he needed in order to get to his next destination, in which was not to walk down the aisle with me, as I had so purposed in my head.

So, you see? God only had him to cross my path for that particular reason, he had sisters whom went through the same thing and therefore his attention to their situation, allowed him to give me some valuable information that I truly needed, now if I had kept him around due to a simple tip, I would have been keeping someone around that was suppose to just drop a tip and go…lol…The thing is; everyone, whether man or woman crosses our paths for different reasons and during particular seasons, it’s up to us to find out the reason for their visit, get what they have for you and move on. (depending on their true purpose)


Now don’t get me wrong, their are some people that come in our lives and they are meant to “sit for a spell” if you get my drift, who knows – they may even be with you for the long haul (until death do you part)….you never know.

However; don’t be afraid to ask God about your circle in which can be a double-edged sword because in reality we all want friends, we all want people we can hang out with, we all want people to love us and we all want to have this girl or this guy group but in the end who are they? Are these people adding value to your life….or are they draining you dry of your emotions, time, love and space. Remember, you invited them and as long as that door is opened; you’ll keep inviting people whom really have no purpose for your life – AT ALL! and it’s not that these individuals are bad it’s just that their job fulfillment in your life has expired. (Sort of like keeping old food in the fridge after the due date, if it consistently stays in there and is not removed; it’s going to cause the fridge to stink and soon it’s pollution, will cause the other food to expire quicker than it would have or add a terrible smell to it; this is what happens when you keep “seasonal people only” in your life for too long) 

My Two Pennies on the matter?: Ask God about people and their dealings in your life, why are they there and what is their purpose, you’ll be surprised that the people who’s in your life was probably only supposed to be there for a short period of time and If not inquired about, these individuals could halt us from moving forward into the destiny that God has pre-planned for our future. No worries, you’ll come across others and this time one may come across that’s meant to stay forever.

De-cluttering is not just for houses or closets but for Individuals TOO!

photo courtesy of Spectator Life


Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager




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EnSpired: From The Car to The Red Carpet: It’s Ryan Coogler, Director of Black Panther

photo above courtesy of bing


Okay, so unless you’ve been M.I.A for the past month, don’t have a television or just don’t go to the movies – AT ALL! then maybe you weren’t aware of a movie called “Black Panther” in which grossed more than 240 million dollars (US) and over 400 million worldwide in it’s opening weekend of (February 16, 2018); which is the highest grossing opening of all time, according to Vanity Fair. Can somebody say WOW!!! and I don’t even think that’s a good word to describe the magnitude of this  moment.

At the helm of such success is none other than 31 yr old  film director, Ryan Coogler. However; this is not Coogler’s first acclaimed film – he also directed and wrote Fruitvale Station, starring Michael B. Jordan and Creed, in which again starred Michael B. Jordan and Sylvester Stallone in which gained much notoriety for Coogler.

Creed (2015) & Fruitvale Station (2013) – Directed by Ryan Coogler

So, as you can see – Coogler is no stranger to the film world; although this may be your first time hearing of him. Out of both films, Black Panther leads the pack and has taken Coogler from being sought as just acclaimed director to being put up in the ranks with such likes as Steven Spielberg. According to CNBC, when Coogler was a kid, he received his first comic book in which was “Black Panther” – fascinated by the fact that there were comic books that contained African Americans, this sparked something in Coogler – BUT, film-making was not on his to do list – football was.

When the football program got cancelled at his college (Saint Mary’s), Coogler transferred to Sacramento State with the intent to play football, but got whiff of a film school at the University of Southern California – Los Angeles by a professor:

“It was either go there or play wide receiver. “I was short, my prospects weren’t the highest, so I jumped off that cliff and drove to L.A.”

A major jump that lead him to live out of his car during his first semester at USC – however; that didn’t bother Coogler, whom used that “gray” time as motivation to create a series of short films, one in which included a film entitled “Fig” which chronicled the life of a prostitute trying to bring positive change to her life all while raising a child on her own. 

“That film is from deep research, I spent Christmas break on the streets and got a lot of stories. I never want to shy away from the truth.”

In creating his third film and with a budget of $200 million, Coogler was determined to bring a black super hero to the big screen and that he did. The little boy whom questioned if there were any black people represented in comic books, has now opened up the doors for many young African american boys and girls to see themselves in print and on the big screen as heroes and she-ro’s. Thanks Ryan Coogler, for being persistent and paving the way!!

Stars of Black Panther (Bing) – from left, Chadwick Boseman; Danai Gurira; Lupita Nyong’o; Michael B. Jordan  

Move over Hollywood, Ryan Coogler is here to Stay!


Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

8 Blogging Time Wasters, Could One Be You? – By Kristie Hill

photo above courtesy of Kristi Hill 

blogging time wasters

Are you new to blogging or have you been blogging for quite some time and feel as though you’re not getting the results you dreamed of? Well, my friend – you may be making some time wasting mistakes!

Kristi Hill is not only a blogger but she helps other bloggers in creating an online presence to help them get their blog from “blah” to “WHAM!” – she has helped many, many bloggers achieve success. If you visit her page (Kristie Hill.com) she has everything from A-Z to help you achieve your goals of having the next best blog.

Recently, Kristi reached out to her subscribers to get their input on a very important question. “What are some things you did as a new blogger that were a total waste of time and/or didn’t help to grow your blog?” as you can imagine, the responses were so overwhelming, she decided to compile as much of it up as she could into a blog post entitled: ⬇️⬇️


blogging time wasters1

In the post you’ll read various responses from bloggers all around the world, (including me!) of some of the biggest time wasters they experienced when they first started blogging – while this post was initially meant to be a source to help new bloggers, there was a plethora of information from seasoned bloggers whom still find themselves wasting a good amount of time on unnecessary things that did nothing to improve their blog.

I thought it was a good read and that maybe it could also help some of us new and not so new bloggers. Please read the post and and while you’re at it, follow Kristi as well; you won’t be disappointed! – If you’ve gotten side-tracked or distracted with your blogging and want to stop wasting time – this is the post to read to get you back on track!

I’m humbled as my response was one of the ones in which she picked to feature in her post. You can check that out here – my response is featured in Time Waster #3: The Comparison Trap. 

So, Let’s Get to It! Time’s a Ticking…

time ticking

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager




The Dumbing Down Process, Goes Something Like…

photo above courtesy of vigilantcitizen

Different - drums

You see those drums above? Yeah, me too – those drums have played a significant part in my life – all my life actually; As I watched year after year after year of those drums just sitting, waiting on someone to give them a good “BANG!” I couldn’t play them because I never learned how. Can you believe, I just learned how to play them in my very late thirties and oh, how I love the sound – why hadn’t I learned how to play them all along?

Let me explain…

While those drums are very real, they aren’t ones that I actually own. You see, I believe in life we all have our very own set of drums that sit in front of us each day, waiting on us to give it a good “BOOM!” Those drums represent our voice, our personality, our characteristics in which makes us totally different from others; those drums represent our life and determine if that life is ran by our own motivation or lessened by the un-motivation of others.

When I was a little girl, my stepdad hated the way I talked….he would tell my mom “Make her quit talking like that!” this confused my mom as she was trying to figure out “Talking like what?” According to my step-dad I talked too proper, in which he later referenced as “White-folk talk” and felt like this little black girl, shouldn’t talk like them.  I mean, I didn’t know their was a differential “this is the way you talk” language for whites or blacks, or any other race for that matter. I didn’t understand what he meant, all I understood was that it made me feel bad and for a long time….at that point I dumbed down and wouldn’t hardly speak to anyone….if I got criticized for using my voice, then why use it at all.

As I got older, I began to realize that I was different from other family members – I loved to read and found it very comforting, a hobby that not everyone found fond. But reading took me away from the abusive world in which I had come to know, like when my step-dad would get drunk; he would come home and let’s just say “All hades would break loose” it was a very difficult time; so getting lost in a book and being taken away by someone else’s “perfect” world was my escape. I loved to spell and could spell anything…one day, my uncle got the dictionary and began to call out words to me and I would spell those…I was curious about the reproductive system and found reading, writing and poetry fascinating…but when people got jealous because they felt as if, I knew more than they….I dumbed down, soon those A’s and B’s became C’s and D’s.

different4“Are You Serious?” was the question my aunt asked me one day when I volunteered to go to the grocery store with her. She had just gotten her food stamps and told me that I could get anything I wanted out of the store for coming with her – well, after browsing the store I decided that I wanted some cereal, but not just any kind of cereal – I wanted a box of “Frosted Shredded Wheat” which are still my favorite cereal today. When I took the box off the shelf and brought it over to my aunt to put in the basket, she looked at me with this puzzled look on her face. “Nikki, are you serious?, this isn’t’ what you want – go and pick out what you want, I said you could get anything! she said laughing, but I didn’t budge – because those were what I wanted – after going back and forward with trying to convince her of my choice, she abruptly stated  “Those are white people cereal, you ain’t white!” – Really? because I didn’t know certain cereal were made for certain races/cultures. After we got home and hearing her mock me, laugh and basically call me weird…..I dumbed down, maybe it was best to just be like someone else – after-all, there was obviously something wrong with me.

Different1Because of those incidents and many more similar or like them, I have to be honest…being “me” was not on the good list of things that I wanted to work on or through. I always desired to be someone else, someone new, someone popular, someone cute, someone special, someone…….other than Roshonda and I dumbed down to that for many, many years. When I turned 30, it was like a light bulb went off and I had did this 360 over night; call it what you will but for me it was liberating, I suddenly didn’t care what anyone thought – I wore what I wanted to wear, no matter how unmatched or weird it was and did my own thing – those drums were getting a good dusting off and I was geared up to give them their first concert. My “let’s do this” personality and award winning smile (so I’ve been told…lol) were getting me noticed and I liked it, but just like it was when I was a kid/teen/young adult – not everyone did. Soon, I found myself going back into the dumb down hole of mediocrity like everyone else, ever heard the term “When you’re in Rome, You do as the Romans” yesss…while that may be true, it’s not always good to be like everyone else just because EVERY-ONE else is or chooses to be….sometimes it’s good to veer off course and just – do – you.

So, what are you saying Roshonda you may ask – well, I’m saying you were given one life and in this life you sometimes have one shot to make a difference or live your life the way you want too. Don’t let someone make you feel bad about your bubbly persona or your sunshine smile or even your positive personality. My mama used to always say this about cliques/friends and/or people  “Either they are going to pull you towards them or you’re going to pull them towards you” but mama left out the part…..you can just leave the group =)

You my friend were born to STAND OUT! you were never meant to FIT IN! or Dumb Down to someone’s level – you were created to make them rise to YOUR level. Don’t ever be afraid to be you because those drums are waiting on a player, will you be the one to book it’s next gig?

This is for you finger pointing

u are lovely

Because if you’re not being YOU, you’re not being TRUE! And who wants to leave this earth being a copy! 


Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

EnSpired: The Love Story of Edith & Eddie

photo above courtesy of bing 

Whoever said or believe that love doesn’t exist, must not have met Edith Hill, 96 and Eddie Harrison, 95 who met each other while playing the lottery.

Edith and Eddie attending church together – photo courtesy of bing

It was love at first “lotto” when Edith, took out time to talk to Eddie whom was sitting outside the store. They became inseparable ever since, the sweet couple got married to each other at the ages of  95 and 96. The special love, devotion and humble spirit towards one anther is one for the books I must say. Their story is hope that love can be found at any age.

While Edith and Eddies endearing love story made the Guinness book of records as being the oldest interracial couple ever married; everyone wasn’t so pleased about their unbreakable bond nor union and that’s Edith’s daughter Patricia, whom has been fighting Edith’s other daughter Rebecca Wright to get full custody of her mother and take her out of the house in which she has lived for over 30 years (10 of which with Eddie) and drag her to Florida with her and her husband in whom Edith states is abusive and gave her a hard time when she stayed there previously.

This story, while beautiful, took a drastic turn…..in which will make you angry, sad , disgusted and just downright upset over the outcome. Edith and Eddie is a short documentary produced by Laura Checkoway, the short film was nominated for an Oscar at this year’s 2018 Oscar awards.

Enjoy the documentary below (29 minutes) and please leave your comments in the comment section as i would love to hear your thoughts on this one.

Oh and by the way – (spoiler alert) – please grab your tissues, you’re going to need them! 

box of tissues


Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager