The photo above courtesy of pexels
So, I’m going to start this post off by saying “I dislike me sometimes” – ever had that feeling where you get totally FED UP! with your own self?? As much as I would love to be the angel and say I’m TOTALLY – PERFECT!!! HAHA – TOTALLY NOTTTTT! I’m really, honestly, NOT!
I mean, sometimes I can dish it out and serve it up really nice on a glorious gold platter for everyone else, but when it comes to me following my own, let’s say….advice. I don’t always do it and that’s for good reason – most of the time, well let’s say 65% of the time – I’m fearful, prideful and afraid of how I’d look if I actually did it. The other 35% is me actually doing it.
Okay, so I know you’re probably saying “What the Heck is she talking about??” Glad you asked! So, I have a hard time – giving people compliments. I’m going to explain, hold on…because I can see you looking like, What???
You see?, If I see a lady and she’s dressed up really nice. I’ll say in my head, oh wow that’s a beautiful dress, earrings or I love her hair or that perfume smells good. I say all these things in my head and my head thinks it’s saying these things aloud but in all actuality it’s just me in my own head space. FEEL ME???
I hold those good vibes in because I’m afraid of the look I’ll get when I actually say it. I mean, in reality I’m a very outgoing person – I have an outgoing personality and I can talk to just about anyone but, for some reason I have a hard time giving people compliments – oh course, you’d understand why I wouldn’t say these things to a man. Although, there have been some men that I did want to compliment and say, hey – you look good today or I like that tie, those jeans, that shirt or you have a nice smile – especially if he’s wearing some good smelling cologne.
However, I regress from doing that unless I truly know the person – otherwise, I just look, smile and keep it moving and have that conversation in my head space only. I don’t want to seem disrespectful OR make it seem like I’m trying to make a pass at them andddd ok, I just get all weird about the situation. To make a very long scenario on both accounts very short – what I’m really trying to say is:
- Why don’t we give compliments to others?”
- Is this something that you have issues with doing?
- Men?, If you’re reading this article – do you find it comfortable or weird complimenting the opposite sex??
- Women?, do you find it uncomfortable complimenting the opposite sex?
I’m not saying that I don’t do it because I do – I just feel as though I should do it more often than I should. I say that because you never know what’s going on in a person’s head space or how they’re feeling. That woman that we fail to say “How nice she looks in that dress or how the color of it compliments her skin tone” may be just the thing she needs to hear, because maybe that morning when she put it on – she had self-doubt or some other negative feelings going on about it and you saying something nice, just may be the boost she needed to hear to let her know that she made the right clothing choice that morning. You know what I mean??
One day, while I was in Wal-Mart – which happens to be my favorite store in the whole wide world (And No, they are not sponsoring me…lol, I wish!!) As I was shopping in the produce section, I just happened to look up and seen this older woman. She had the most beautiful head of gray hair on her head and the style that it was in was just as beautiful. As I passed by her, I got this urge (like a very STRONG one) to tell her how nice her hair looked, okay – so in my head space I had already told her but then my brain kicked in and said “Girl, Really??” no you didn’t!!
I walked pass her and was trying to go down the other aisle but something kept pushing me to tell her how great her hair looked. So you know how we do – I walked over beside her and pretended like I was interested in some soy beans…(LOL)….my arms were sweaty, my heart was racing and then….finally…..
Listen below to hear the rest, haha – you know I got to make it interesting. So, did I tell her? or did I let fear take over and leave….take a listen & check it out!
It only takes one smile to offer welcome….and blessed be the person who will share it. It only takes one moment to be helpful….and blessed be the person who will spare it. It only takes one joy to lift a spirit….and blessed be the person who will give it. It only takes one life to make a difference….and blessed be the person who will live it.
I was so honored and glad to be apart of a vendor event last weekend. Below is the table I had set up for it. Was super excited to make a couple of connections and talk briefly about bullying and how the message behind the book “Billy Wolf & The Kids of Heavenly Hills Elementary” impacted my own life and the reasoning for me writing it.
If you would like your very own copy, You can purchase it at one of the major retailers below. And please, when you do purchase – don’t forget to leave a review, it’s very much appreciated!
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12 thoughts on “Just Say It ALREADY!!! GEEEZZZZ…”
I’m so glad I listened to the rest of this. You are such a good storyteller.
Oh Wow! That’s so sweet. Thank you sooooo much, that made my day. Much Love =)
I have found it increasingly hard—I mean dangerous—to compliment women on a regular basis. The occasional…that looks good, or you know your stuff, are okay, but if done too often or too deeply we men are accused of being up to “something”. This man has learned the hard way (more than one time!) to tread lightly in this area! A very few friends and my beloved, I’ll go further, but not often—even with close friends. My beloved wife gets most of my compliments!
As she should!!! I know what you mean, these days it’s just to hard to tell who likes it and who really don’t. Plus as you stated, if you do it toooo often, then you’re getting dirty looks like you’re desperate or a perv – it’s no telling with people and their mindsets. If I feel comfortable enough, I’ll say something – otherwise, I say it in my head and keep it moving…lol. Hope you’re having a great day!
gETTING BETTER EVERY MINUTE. 🙂
That’s what I like to hear! =)
I don’t know why, but I too get that same feeling whenever I want to compliment someone. You’re right though, a compliment can change someone’s day. I have an aunt who complimented a man and he started crying! He told her that he had been waiting for a compliment for so long and I guess he was happy to have finally gotten one. I think that’s so sad. I don’t think men get complimented a lot, and that story really shed some light on how that might feel. I’m not really sure how to compliment them because I think they’ll mistake it for interest, but it’s something to think about.
Hey, Sis – you’re so right. OMGosh, really??? he cried?? See that’s what I’m saying, someone’s good day or feeling of worth could be locked up in our mouths – we just never know. I feel you with the men thing, but it’s worth a shot. I’m willing to give it try especially after that lady incident. We just never know Sis.
P.S. I seen on IG that you posted a new post – will be reading that very soon. Love you!
I’m surprised to read this since you’ve always been so complimentary with me. You compliment my writing, my stories, my fashion (when I post pictures of myself) all a that. You’ve never been shy on reigning down the praise on yours truly so I’m surprised you don’t do it frequently in real life.
I didn’t listen to the podcast to hear the rest of the story with the gorgeous silver-haired woman in the produce section. I tried but I don’t have Soundcloud app on my phone and for some reason, I couldn’t listen in my browser. Not sure why. I tried though. 😃
As stated, I do it but I get fearful because people look at you weird or things something else, maybe they think you’re trying to be funny when you’re trying to be complimentary. All types of things go on in my head. Sorry you can’t get sound cloud – the rest of the story turned out to be a good one and just let me know that despite what type of look I feel like I’m going to get, to do it anyway because you just never know what people (in real life – not our headspaces) are going through.
And in her case, she was going through A LOT! and it had a lot to do with the hairstyle she was wearing. She was so elated to hear me tell her how great she looked with it, because in her mind – she was battling some major negativity demons because of it (things people were saying that made her feel awful) I was glad that I went with the urge.
After that, I gave everyone I saw a compliment – like I was handing out cars like Oprah!!! LOL LOL. To be honest, I’ve a very shy person and can be outgoing – but sometimes I get afraid of my own outgoing personality, if that makes sense.
Thanks for reading Doll!! xoxo
Yes, Hun, it makes sense. Lots of sense.