Bigger & Better – Must Appreciate Smaller

 

Bigger and Better2 (5)

What are you doing in your small space that is preparing your for your Bigger Place! Why ask God for more money, a bigger house or even a spouse when you’re not managing the money you’re getting now, cleaning the house you have now or taking care and loving yourself right now.

What we do now, really does determine the next steps in our success. Bigger does not mean, I’ll do better. Bigger means I’ll do less and make an even bigger Mess, if you’re not prepared!

Start the preparation today in your small area and stand back and watch how God takes that small and prepare you for your BIGGER!!!!

bigger

Only when you are able to handle eating the smaller portions first.

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

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MUSHROOM NOSE…

If I literally hadMushroom Nose3 a penny for every-time someone said something to me or about me that brought my spirits down about how I look, what I wear, from my hair not being long, to my hair being extra short. To the moles on my body and my face, to my dark skinned tone, to not being skinny enough or being extremely too large. I would be a very rich woman. For the better part of my life, I’ve always been criticized for not looking like the average girl. I always wasn’t enough, no matter how much I tried to kill myself in the gym to lose weight, eat crazy to gain weight, bleach my skin, color my hair or take numerous amounts of supplements to make my hair grow long. And let’s not even speak of going in debt to make sure I dressed the part to look the part of whatever & for whoever….IT NEVER WAS ENOUGH!!

I always struggled with just being ME. Yes, I had the wonderful personality in which I always felt as if I had to parade around like I was in a circus to get people to notice. Growing up, my aunts would get jealous if they saw their boyfriends or someone they potentially liked; talking with me, in which I never understood why – they were the pretty ones, I was the one struggling to get noticed. What they didn’t understand is that I never wanted their guys, I was just delighted to have a guy talk with me without judging my appearance first. It took years upon top of years for me to become comfortable with looking at myself in the mirror, in which I avoided at all cost. I had been told I was UGLY so much until I believed it, it was so bad until I felt if I looked into a mirror it would surely shatter……I really did. I combed my hair by touch and feel. If it felt right, it must have looked right…

As I got older, I began to slowly take a good look in the mirror at myself. I mean a really good look and I noticed that I wasn’t bad looking at all. I had a beautiful smile and there were features aboutnose5.jpgt myself, such as my eyes and how they lit up when I smiled; almost in a flirtatious sense and my eyebrows – they were thin, but how easily they were to shape up and my hair, it wasn’t long but hey, many women are rocking short styles. Once I began to change my mindset about myself on the outside; my inside began to truly shine through as well. While my self-esteem and self-image were beginning to blossom, I took notice to something else about me that I didn’t particularly like and that was……MY NOSE!

I hated my nose, I loved my smile but I hated how my nose spread wide when I smiled – It looked like a big balloon had implanted itself right in the middle of my face. There was nothing that I could do to cover it up either. I literally felt like Rudolph, my nose wasn’t red but I felt his pain. Because I had now built up this new esteem about myself, I wasn’t going to let something as minor as my nose get the best of me but still found myself covering it up when I chatted or laughed with people. While it was a secret and I never told anyone about my nose dilemma….I felt like I was taken 50ft back when someone close to me, someone I loved – called me, mushroom nose. I suddenly felt like all the self-image issues that I had dealt with came rushing back at me – FULL FORCE!

What the individual didn’t know was that I had a complex about my nose. I had seriously thought about going to one of those plastic surgeon shows and having it fixed. It’s the main reason why I hate taking pictures today. While they laughed about it, I didn’t particularly think it was funny…..my mother had a wide nose and it’s the only thing I wish I had not inherited from her. They didn’t know how embarrassed my nose made me feel; they didn’t know the struggles I battled in my mind with accepting my mushroom nose and they caused that war to be re-lived in a matter of 2 seconds.

I felt like going into a corner and crying my eyes out – BUT I DIDN’T…

I had to go back to the mirror and take a good look at not only who I was but WHOM’S I was, the bible says that EVERYTHING, I MEAN EVERYTHING that God created was good and very good and that includes the creation of me and you (Genesis 1:31 & 1 Timothy 4:4). We’re all unique individuals; made, shaped and groomed into the image of our master creator. The enemy knows what it takes to get us down, make us stuck and he knows what tactics to throw our way to keep us buried. He desires to get us so down-trodden until we stay down, not having the strength to look up at the one who came to give us strength. Once he has you down, his intentions is to keep you down by constantly beating you over the back with regret, self-image, low self-esteem and uncomfortable issues that plague us daily.

You’re as handsome and pretty as you want to be, by keeping a mind of defeat you’re the one that’s keeping yourself in uncharted territory in which you were never meant to belong. I dare you today to embrace the GOOD LOOKING! person you are because God didn’t make junk nor trash when he made you. If you have something about yourself that you don’t like – figure out what it is and change it (please nothing crazy or silly like getting ridiculous surgery to obtain a bigger butt, boobs, pecks or flatter abs) you can get butt pads, padded bras and you can work on those abs and/or pecks at the gym or in the comfort of your own home.

Just don’t let anyone define who you are. I’m here to tell you that you are beautiful, I’m here to let you know that you are handsome. If this girl with the mushroom nose can change her mind about how she views herself, then SO CAN YOU

Mushroom Nose2

I Love My #MushroomNose! – Thank you Mama!

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU’RE CALLED – BUT WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO ANSWER TOO!

THE ONLY THING YOU SHOULD ANSWER TOO IS GREATNESS! BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE!!!! YOU WERE CREATED TO BE…

#Greater than your Enemies

#Greater than your Past

#Greater than your Hurt

#Greater than your Pain

#Greater than what your Think of Yourself

Remember, Jesus nailed all of your hurt, pain, habits and hang-ups on the cross a long time ago, so you have no excuse to not live and be Great!

What’s a Flaw that you have about yourself, that you now Embrace! Share Below by stating “I Love My #_______ with a hashtag of what you love about yourself.

 

Roshonda N. BlackmonCreator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

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Feel free to comment or email us @ justsuminspiration@gmail.com

For Daily Inspiration, you can follow us on one or all of the social media sites below:

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Let Me Tell Ya Bout “That Old Church Choir”

A friend of mine was telling me this last week about a couple of songs that she’d heard that were completely Awesome, so Awesome she wanted to share them with me. One was called “Hard Love ft. Andra Day” by a christian band called NEEDTOBREATHE it was a very cool and inspiring song and I really liked it. I came to find out that this same song was also featured on the soundtrack to the movie “The Shack” in which you’ll hear singer/songwriter and contemporary christian music artist Lauren Daigle‘s voice. But the one that really stood out to me was a song called “Old Church Choir” by Zach Williams.

I have always been a fan of traditional church choirs in which are not present anymore in churches today, the choir has been re-placed by background music and a couple of dancers. Don’t get me wrong, I have attended and been apart of churches whom have taken on that modern aspect and it’s cool, However; it’s nothing to be compared to the original church choir, whom actually song songs of joy, peace and restoration. There’s no feeling like that in the world.

So, to pay homage to those old church choirs, I wanted to let you listen to this positive and encouraging song “Old Church Choir” yourself. I pray it uplifts you today just as those old church choirs used to uplift us all back in the day. It has a certain twang to it that I think you’ll enjoy. Because I’m a BIG, HUGE word person, I also put the lyrics below.  No matter what this week holds, determine to let nothing – I mean nothing steal your JOY!!

Andra Day‘s Info can be found here

Old Church Choir Lyrics:

Oh cause there ain’t nothing there ain’t nothing gonna steal my joy

I got an Old Church Choir singing in my soul
I got a sweet salvation and it’s beautiful
I’ve got a heart overflowing cause I’ve been restored
there ain’t nothing gonna steal my joy
no there ain’t nothing gonna steel my joy

Clap your hands and stomp your feet
till you find that gospel beat
cause it’s all you’ll ever need
clap your hands and stomp your feet
till you find that gospel beat
cause it’s all you’ll ever need

I’ve got an old church choir, singing in my soul
I got a sweet salvation, and it’s beautiful

I got an Old Church Choir singing in my soul
I got a sweet salvation and it’s beautiful
I’ve got a heart overflowing cause I’ve been restored
there ain’t nothing gonna steal my joy
no there ain’t nothing gonna steal my joy
Oh there ain’t nothing gonna steal my joy

Songwriters: ZACH WILLIAMS, ETHAN HULSE, COLBY WEDGEWORTH
© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
For non-commercial use only.
Data From: LyricFind

Roshonda N. BlackmonCreator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

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Feel free to comment or email us @ justsuminspiration@gmail.com

For Daily Inspiration, you can follow us on one or all of the social media sites below:

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Did Someone Say Divorce?

*Warning, this blog is longer than my usual one’s but hopefully you read it and are able to get something from it.*

Marriage Is Quote 

Ever since I was 8yrs old, I dreamed like most little girls do of being happily married, having a beautiful home and a couple of kids. As I got older I began to watch romance movies and read romance novels. I always dreamed of having a prince charming to come and sweep me off my feet and we ride into the sunset to our little house on the hill with the white picket fence around it. I never envisioned us getting into an argument or having a disagreement about anything – I just knew and believed in my heart of hearts that we would be happily married for the rest of our lives. He happy with me and I happy with him, sounds so lovely right?

It wasn’t until I got a little older and started dating that I realized I had no idea what the so called “perfect” guy was. I mean, I didn’t have a constant male role model in my life that I could look up too to show me what a real man was and how that man was supposed to take care of a house, wife and kids. My mom was married but he was abusive and the guys she dated after that were no model citizens as they inflicted more hurt than love. So it wasn’t a surprise for me to get married to someone that had been married two times before and had two kids already (might I say one was already practically grown). When he asked me to marry him, one part of me said Yes while the other part said H**L NO!

But because we had dated for almost 2yrs, I felt that it was the right thing to do. Did I love him?, sometimes I did but most times I didn’t. I knew that he wasn’t the one for me, all the new things that I wanted  to experience for the first time in a marriage…such as having children, purchasing a home, new car and just experiencing the first years of marital bliss together was outweighed by his world of “I’ve already done that.” I married him because I thought I loved him and although I knew things weren’t on point in dating, I felt that since this was my first time being married that he would change. But that didn’t happen…..that didn’t happen at all. I will give anyone one main point that they should always remember before the walk down the aisle:

“Whoever a person is in Dating, Is exactly who they will remain in Marriage.”

If you decide to close this blog down and not read anything else beyond what was said above, I would totally understand. The thing about my marriage is that I expected him to change when the ring was placed on my finger. What I was naive to was the fact that he was and had already showed me who he was and what type of husband he was going to be but I ignored the signs and flashing lights and walked onto the tracks and got hit hard by the train. Although I knew there were going to be no changes in him; I still strived to be the best wife I could be at 23.  I read many books on marriage and even read a couple of erotica ones, I tried to lose weight and exercise whatever it took to keep him at home at night and away from  the gambling halls. But those efforts were ignored and after he decided not to change even after going to counseling. The dreaded “D” word came into play.

No one gets married to get divorced; that is not in the plan when you take vows. As you stand there smiling and looking into your future husband or wife’s eyes, anticipating on being the best partner ever. You wonder if their thoughts are in sync with yours.  When I realized that after much trying that me and my husband were headed for divorce, I was devastated. I honestly felt as if I had failed in my marriage and let my daughter (whom was 3 months old at the time) down. She needs a father in her life, what would I tell her when she gets older and asks for her dad or ask questions why we weren’t together anymore. I honestly thought that I had did something wrong, “Was I not good enough?” “Was I not pretty enough?” “Was I Not Small Enough?”

What had I done? Why did I get into this? The marriage definitely wasn’t anything like the movies or the novels that I read. I quickly realized that actors and actresses are paid to act a certain way and the novelist is a person that depicts an imaginary, magical world of expectation that doesn’t quite fit the puzzle of the real world.

I had many questions while going through and after my divorce. I felt lonely, betrayed and my self-esteem that I had worked so hard to build up to his expectations came crashing down like a snowstorm on a mountain. Overtime I realized that I wasn’t the only one that would face the “D” word and definitely wouldn’t be the last. I finally came up with this thought in which snapped me back into reality and it is:

“When you Know that You’ve done  EVERYTHING in your power to make things work and I mean EVERYTHING, then feel free to move on.

That includes counseling, trying new things and coming up with ways to improve the marriage). You shouldn’t give up on one try just because something went south or wrong) When you’ve honestly tried 100 things and all 100 failed or for some marriages it may be 20 or 50 things. What I’m saying is, make sure that you’ve given it everything you’ve got before you completely throw in the towel. And when I felt like I had given it my all? I left and the feelings that I felt afterward are my tips to anyone going through it, these are a couple of things that helped me to move forward and not backward.

Prayer Is the Key ~

I have to say, I felt crazy going to God when I went through my divorce because I didn’t consult him prior to getting married. So I have to be honest, I didn’t talk to God because I was embarrassed too. I mean after all he had given me plenty of signs prior to the marriage that, that guy wasn’t the one for me. But I took the bait and got caught up in the net. After stalling in prayer, I came to realize that God is a forgiving God and that no matter what we have done wrong, if you have the heart to reach out to him to ask for forgiveness. He will forgive you, not only that – he’ll be there waiting for you with open arms. Just as the king did to see his prodical son.

Know the Law ~

Every state is different so if you are headed down divorce highway, make sure you read the laws of separation guidelines within your state. In Arkansas, you can file for divorce the moment you decide that’s what you want to do. In NC, you have to be separated for a full year before you can file for divorce. The lawyer will ask what date you all separated and/or when they moved out the house. Whatever date that is, that will be the date (a year from now) that you can file for divorce. You have to remain separated for the full year, if they come back to stay for two months and leave then you will have to record the day that they left in which will prolong you filing.

Give Yourself Time ~

I started to put, “Don’t Date” after the dash but I know that, that varies by person. I would suggest from experience to give yourself some space and time after the split. The last thing you want to do is get mingled up with someone else and drag them into the hurt, pain and ups and downs of what you’re already going through. You really won’t know what you’re ready for until you give yourself some time. This time is for you to take a look at your situation and improve on who you are as a person. This means you’re going to have to do an inside/out job on yourself. Take time to clean out the hurt and replace it with peace, love and serenity. WARNING: This will not happen overnight.

Highs and Lows ~ Face It Head-on

When I was going through my divorce I had many high points and many low points as well. There were days where I was fine with what was going on and then there were days where I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth.  You’re going to have your high points and low ones too. On most days I woke up resentful, swearing that I would never, ever get married again and denounced relationships altogether. Bitterness and resentment will set in, so you’ll experience it all. Go through it, have your pity party – don’t sweep it under the rug to deal with it later. All those feelings need to come out now, it wouldn’t even hurt to talk with a counselor. I did and it helped me relieve a lot of stress and anger. Face It Now, rather than later.

Journal ~

If you can’t afford to see a counselor then journaling was another outlet for me that really helped alleviate stress, resentment, pain and anxiety. Its good to look back on it and see where you were and where you are currently now. It also gives you an opportunity to tweak areas in which you may still have issues with dealing with.

Healing Music ~

Music has a way of healing even the most messed up and broken situations. When I was going through my divorce I found a liberating song that I listened to everyday that helped me get out of bed and start my day. I would suggest finding a theme song for yourself. I wouldn’t suggest a song that reminds you of the person in which you are separating from. But a song that will give you strength to move forward. My song during that time was a classic by Wilson Phillips entitled “Hold On”. You’ll find your song and when you do, play it everyday until the hurt and pain you feel goes away.

Remember, Divorce is just a Detour – Not a Destination.

Here are a couple of Uplifting Quotes that will help you cope…

Quotes that will help you heal through and after Divorce.

 

For the Engaged or Newly Married – A few tips for you..

  1. Keep God First – Need I say more?, This should be a no-brainer. You have to have a good foundation and having God aboard your marriage is where it all starts. Pray with each other everyday. 5min or 10min a day will keep the devil at bay in your marriage. Not to say that he won’t try to bring things against it but if you all can build a strong prayer life…he’ll have trouble trying to break the barrier.
  2. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate and Communicate some more – you’ll be surprised. Most marriages end due to a lack of communication, talk with your partner about everything of importance. Yes, there will be times where you need to be alone. But if it’s something that’s going to affect the marriage in a bad way, communicating with each other will keep everything on track.
  3. Financial Discussion – This is the number one reason why most marriages fail. If you know your soon to be hubby or wife is not great with money, then you take it over. If you are not great with it either, then I would suggest you all get a financial counselor. Talk about what’s coming in and what’s going out, make decisions together when it comes to purchasing large items. It doesn’t matter who makes the most money and it’s not “my money” or “your money” it’s “OUR MONEY” remember you all became a unit of one, so whatever you money you make is made for the both of you.
  4. Best Friends – You married or are going to marry your husband or wife for richer or poorer, sickness and health until death do you part. You are each others best friend as well as life partners. Create a bond with each other that no one will be able to break. This person will be down with you when everyone else leaves, outside of God, they should be the first person you go to, to discuss matters of importance. If you can’t count on anyone else – then you should be able to count on them.

 

Roshonda N. BlackmonCreator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

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Feel free to comment or email us @ justsuminspiration@gmail.com

For Daily Inspiration, you can follow us on one or all of the social media sites below:

Facebook:   JustsumInspiration for the Mind, Body & Soul

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Sunday’s Thought: My Dad is a ____________

There were many times in my life where that sentence line of my dad is _____________ was filled with words that I wouldn’t dare mention right now. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to grips with not being mad at the man that helped create me. (I’ll explain)…keep reading..

I never knew my dad, nor his family. I was told that he came to see me when I was three days old however; I remember seeing him for the first time at the age of nine. I finally got a chance to meet the man that I was so desperately asking to see since I was 5yrs old. What do I say? What do I do? Do I look like him? I was nervous, yet frighteningly excited and finally after what seemed like hours upon hours of excess adrenaline and anticipation, I laid eyes on the man I had longed to see. He was very tall, 6’7 I was told. Much taller than my 4ft tall height, he looked like the Jolly Green Giant over me. As he leaned back on the floor model T.V. against a stairwell, with a brown crumpled bag in his hand (in which I now know was a liquor bottle). He muttered “You know I’m your daddy right?” Stunned at his calm demeanor I quickly said “Yes.” – and that was all he said.

We ended up going to my mother’s cousins house, where he stood in the doorway of their dining room, looking at me as if he had never seen a little girl before. I head him tell several people, “She look like her mother.” as the night came to a close; he reached into his pocket, gave me $8.00 and took me home. I saw him again at the age of 14, my mother received a letter from Child Support, there was going to be a hearing and he had to be present. I begged my mother to let me go with her, just so I could see him and when I did, we locked eyes on each other and never let go. I wanted to make sure I got a good stare down of him, ; who knows when I would see him again and I was right, I never saw nor heard from him again after that day.

Because of that experience, my dad had become every nasty name known to man. How could he not keep in touch with me?, Every failed relationship that I experienced with men, I blamed him for every one of them. If he had been the dad I needed him to be, then I would know how a man is supposed to treat a woman. I became resentful, bitter and cursed the day I was born. While we can’t change whom our parents chose to date, marry or co-mingle with and no matter how much we would like to wiggle our nose like the famous “Bewitch.” – Wiggling our noses; will not change the past. Nose Wiggle - Bewitch As I grew much older; I realized, that while my dad may not have been the model dad I had wanted him to be, the best part of him and my mother getting together was me. I can’t help who my dad was or may still be but I can help who I am and whom I’ve become. Look at it this way, don’t hate the gene in which you were birthed from. Embrace it. I don’t hate my dad and really don’t care at this point in my life  why he wasn’t there for me or why he didn’t do more. I forgave him for everything he wasn’t and began to ask God to help me to love the man, I never really knew. I love my dad and if he stood before me today. I would tell him that.

You see, we can’t change the past – no matter how hard we may try. The only thing we can control is the present; which determines our destiny and future self. So, what am I really trying to say? Be the best-est version of your dad or mom. No matter what your DNA may say or dictate whom you are or are supposed to become; you were put here for purpose and to fulfill purpose. You were placed here to make the best out of the negative situation in which you may have been born under. At the end of our lives, we have to all give an account for “our” own actions whether they were good or bad. Forgive your past, including your dad or mom and let it go – they’ll have to give their own account for their mistakes. You just make sure that your heart and mind is clear about it. You may not ever understand them, but you “do” have the ability to become a better person than they might have been. We all have the ability to turn any negativity into a positive one, it’s a matter of choice.

So, the next time someone ask you about your dad or mom?, Just proudly say “My dad or mom is human, a person whom conceived their best product yet (even if they don’t know it) and that person is ME!

Sunday’s Thought: You have one life, that’s all any of us will ever get. Don’t waste it, thinking about the past and why someone didn’t do what they were supposed to do. Do you Boo…Do You and Do it Well…

 

Roshonda N. BlackmonCreator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

 

Feel free to comment or email us @ justsuminspiration@gmail.com

For Daily Inspiration, you can follow us on one or all of the social media sites below:

Facebook:   JustsumInspiration for the Mind, Body & Soul

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