The Pain Of Closing EVERY Door

Featured Image: Courtesy of Bing

Hey, What’s Up! I know, I know – Long time no hear from, right? I miss you too!!…but hey, I’m all over the place everywhere else such as FB & Here >> my new business website! The only blog post that’ll be posted there are posts in regards to business for the “business parent” in which is my new name and tag for anyone who has a business or just starting a business. Your business is your BIG or little baby and you have to nurture, take care and even “defend” it just as you would a natural child.

Bing-Business Baby

So there’ll be tips for the Business Parents in which the subscribers will get as well as discounts, specials or news about any services offered. I might even do some webinar stuff down the road, so that’ll be a treat as well. Anywho, this post is NOT about the business, but an FYI, just in case I go M.I.A again – you’ll know where to find me (wink 😉

Sooooooo, how have you been? What’s been going on in your life since we last chatted. I’d love to hear about it, so please leave it in the comment section (I promise to bring the coffee and the tea 🙂 Well, it’s been a minute since I posted, outside of the book reviews in which I’ll be doing more of those, so be on the lookout. I’m grateful for Amy’s post, hopefully, you’ve been enjoying those while the cat’s been away. You know LIFE and yes, it’s capital for a reason. Is so CRAZYYYYY, that’s capital for a reason too. Just when you think everything and EVERYONE (another capital for good reason) is in the right place and everything’s a go and just when you’re about to switch that gear shift from “P” to “D”. You have to abort the mission and let someone out or put something back. They or it have to be axed from your good trip of up and onwards – FOR GOOD!

Let’s get right to the nitty-gritty, life has many open and closed doors. Some you’ll walk in and others you’ll walk out. Some you’ll open to new faces and others you’ll have to close on old faces. That’s been my summer. I’ve had to CLOSE some doors that pained me to close, doors that I thought was open for my good, but realized – it wasn’t for my good at all. Not to say that people or things were bad. It’s just that in life when God gets ready to move you to another level (and it’s very cliché what I’m about to say) he has to shut some doors in order to open some new ones, but what if the doors he’s trying to shut is being held open by a doorstop, that you put there… There are some doors that God will not close, you’ll have to close them on your own.

Closed Door – Gif

I didn’t realize that God was trying to tell ME to close those doors. As a matter of fact, he specifically said: “Close Every Door” that means that no door was to be opened, but every door had to be completely SHUT with no #doorstops to keep them slightly open. It’s almost like going down a dark hallway and feeling your way through. At least a cracked door offers a glimmer of light, so while the hallway may be dark – that glimmer helps you to see somewhat of where you’re going until you can get where you’re going. But God said close every door, so, therefore – NO LIGHT, NO SIGHT!

You see, God had been dealing with me and telling me to close these doors for quite some time, but instead of truly shutting them. I was placing doorstops in the doors so they wouldn’t shut completely. Most of it was out of comfortability with the person or thing. The other reason of hesitancy was because, for some reason, I always feel a need to explain why I’m doing a particular thing or acting a certain way, mainly because I don’t like people feeling ill about me and I despise hurting people’s feelings. I knew God had a reason but I felt if I didn’t talk to them or indulge that much, then that would be like the door being closed because I’m not giving them or it my full undivided attention.

Ever Been There, Done That? But those weren’t his instructions…

I’m a firm believer that MOST of us are truly in the same place we’ve been in for SOOOOO LONG because we have those door stops sitting in between doors that should actually be CLOSED! The bible says it’s the “small” foxes that destroy the vine. So, it’s not those huge things that we’re surely aware of, but those little itsy bitsy spider things that we don’t pay attention to, such as a doorstop.

There’s a great pain that comes with closing doors – I mean, it’s not meant to be easy. However, when God tells you or you get the feeling that you need to close a door on something or someone. I don’t know what unnecessary doors you have open in your life today but we have three more months until the end of the year. This year, right now – determine to close that door for once and for good.

It’s true, we all don’t know where that dark hall is going to take us and that’s the scary part, but we have to walk by FAITH and not by SIGHT. Sometimes, that’s what God is waiting for you to do, to walk by FAITH! – Faith opens the right doors and opportunities, sight keeps the wrong ones open. As much as it pained me, I closed ALL those doors – some closings pained me more than others. I was scared and yes, I cried but nothing is to be compared to the many doors, I’m walking in expectancy for God to OPEN!

What Doors Do You Need to Completely “CLOSE” today?

Closed Doors-Gif

#NODOORSTOPS!

P.S. I know I have A LOT of catching up to do with blog post reads from my fellow bloggers, I’m definitely going to be doing that, so please don’t think it strange if you get a lot of likes on something you wrote a month ago. I’m trying to play catch up! See ya Around 😉

Advertisements

What’s It Like to Be Human, You Say? Anne Burton, Tell Us How In “Being Human – A User Guide!”

Featured Image: Anne Burton

Disclosure: This book was gifted to me by Anne’s publishing company in exchange for my honest review. All views concerning this book are 100% my own and not of anyone else’s.

I know what you must be thinking and Anne stated this in her book, “Why in the world would someone ask, what’s it like to be human?” I mean, don’t you know? – you are human, right?

Image credit: Questions (Gif)

Of course, I am! Otherwise you’d be reading something that a robot wrote, but no I’m very much human and hopefully, you are too, unless you really are a robot reading this…hmm…

Being human is a trait that we all should “know” how to do and do very well, because “being human” means, you’re just being yourself, right? but according to Anne Burton’s book “Being Human – A User Guide” being human is far more entailed than it sounds. The user guide was created by Burton and is based on her own learning experiences and personal journeys over the last 10yrs and our mind and actions play a big role in both. Things, Burton stated she wished she’d known when her children were babies.

“I wrote it because the contents of this book have helped me enormously and because I wish I had known about it sooner, when my children were babies, because there are things I would have done differently. I wrote it because I wanted to share what I have learned so far in this experience of being human.”

Anne Burton, Author – Being Human

There are many things that I’ve encountered in my life and I sometimes say, “If I knew then, what I know now” Mannn, I would do things so differently! If those issues are not handled, we take those negative vibes into adulthood and begin to act out in ways that are not normal and therefore use excuses for our behavior. Anne mentioned it in her book but I’ve always heard people say, “I was born this way” or “I can’t help the way I act” – but, no one is born a certain way or born to have a negative attitude, it’s a mind thing. Anne refers to this as the “Nature vs. Nurture” debate in which she states research says that experience and environment can change our gene expression and that genes can be switched on and off.  I’m a believer that life and circumstances shape us, maybe our family background wasn’t so great, however; I’ve seen people not become products of those environments and “chose” a different and more positive path.

Being Human – A User’s Guide is what this is all about. The influences, behavior’s and experiences that either shape our life for the better or the worse. According to Anne’s book, we spend the first seven years of our lives (that’s from the time we’re born up until 7 yrs old) in somewhat of a trance. Information gets into our brain through our senses of sight, smell, hearing, taste, and feeling. We process it, make meaning from it and then our brain stores it without us even knowing its done such a thing.

That part was really powerful to me; it’s amazing because I don’t really remember when I was 3 or even 4, 5 or 6 yrs old. I remember bits and pieces or you can say glimpses of things during that period. Interestingly enough there are quite a few random memories that have come up out of the blue either from childhood or even early adulthood that I didn’t remember doing or knew my brain held on too.

Anne Burton, Author – “Being Human”

Anne calls these experiences “Programs” where our brain takes our memories, experiences, sights, smells and sounds and create scenarios which tell us how to respond, act, communicate, make friends and even down to what we put in our mouth to eat.

Another program our brain is good at is keeping us in line with our HABITS!

Habits are those things that we do without even giving it a second thought, things that our brain knows we should be doing automatically and programs us to do it. Ever heard the saying “It takes 21 days to create a habit.” And I still believe that’s true, however, I do believe in most cases that if we do something repeatedly for 5 days, our brain picks it up as a daily routine and next thing you know, our body becomes in sync with that newfound thing and it’s a wrap, sort of. The more you do it, the more the habit grows. Ever felt funny about not doing something that you would normally do on a daily basis? It’s almost like you can’t function because something’s missing from your day.

Anne states that all these programs are run automatically, like an alarm going off at a particular time. There was something else Anne mentioned in her book, that made me do a little research on and that’s “left-brain thinking” – In Being Human, Anne believes that it’s this type of thinking that keeps us stressed out, rather than what I call – Living in the moment and letting some things go..

Now, I have to tell you, I didn’t understand or even know that there was such a thing as left-brain nor right-brain thinking, but there really is and what I found out was pretty interesting.

It’s said that people are either one or the other “left or right” brain thinkers – meaning one side of their brain is more dominant than the other side. According to Healthline; If you’re more analytical and methodical in your thinking, you’re said to be left-brained. If you tend to be more creative or artistic, you’re thought to be right-brained.

Image Credit: Healthline.com

Per Anne’s book and the information I learned, I realized – I’m right-brained. How about you? The left and right brain thinking is just a little piece of what Being Human or as I’d like to call it, understanding how our human nature acts, responds and communicate with everyday life issues is only the half…

Anne also believes that we have six programs that make up our human operating system. Burton believes that these entities may need an upgrade or reboot to support the day by day processes of being human and to get us to where we want to be in our lives.

They are the Six C’s of Being Human:

  • Consciousness
  • Communication
  • Connection
  • Courage
  • Creativity
  • Compassion

Burton states that all these programs are linked together and dependent upon each other to work properly if one is more valued than the other, Burton states we could and will feel the detrimental effect of how the other ones respond. Therefore she advises that you work on each of them daily.

“I don’t know what you should do with your life or what you want to achieve only you know that. This is about taking care of aspects of your life that will help you whatever it is that you decide to do ”

Anne Burton, Author – Being Human

Being Human – A User Guide per Burton is not a book that’ll make you change in an instant. It takes time and with practice, you’d be able to make subtle changes to your mind as well as your environment. Look, we all have issues, maybe we didn’t have the best childhood or maybe your childhood was great and the pitfalls came in when you became an adult. Thing is, we all have something to work on, things that can make us do better, be better and live better but it takes the practice of trying to do the right things as well as make the right choices every single day. We may not be able to change where we’ve been, but we can definitely change where we’re going and that my friend is what Being Human is all about…

TO GET YOUR OWN COPY OF “BEING HUMAN – A USER’S GUIDE” YOU CAN VISIT AMAZON.COM
About Author Anne Burton

Anne Burton was born in Chesterfield, Derbyshire in 1965. Before starting to write the BEING HUMAN book series she worked as an accountant in industry. Here she learned first hand how difficult change can seem and how the way that we live our lives has, for many of us, become disconnected from what we need to function well as human beings. This realization leads to her passion for understanding why we do the things we do and what determines how we experience the world we live in.

A Survivor’s Story

Photo credit above via Roshonda – B Creative

By Amy Temple

As most of you know I have learning disabilities.

I’ve had to deal with all kinds of discrimination and rejections for most of my life.

However, what I’m about to confess is something that I hadn’t openly talked about to many people.

In junior high, I encountered a lot of bullying and harassment. Every day I was verbally and occasionally physically harassed. I’d get called all sorts of derogatory names, mocking my learning disabilities. There were trippings, pushes, and verbal threats.

Photo credit: Bullying hurts via Canva

I was so frightened to go to school. I would huddle up against the wall in between classes clutching my bookbag tightly. I would often go homesick.

The school administration really tried hard to get the abuse under control but it was a big school so there was only so much they could do.

After two years my parents finally moved away to another town.

I attended high school in a nice and quiet country town. What a relief it was to see friendly people and not be afraid I was going to be assaulted.

However, I dealt with a male student who asked me out frequently for over a year! He wouldn’t take no for an answer. I found all those familiar feelings of fear returning. I finally got a teacher to get him to back off.

I found myself dealing with some serious trauma issues. I dealt with anxiety, fear, and insecurity.

I wanted to be approved of so badly! I wanted to be free from all of my negative feelings. During my senior year, I thought maybe if I had the attention of a popular guy… all my mental problems would be over.

So, I mustered up the courage and asked one of them out.

Gif Image

In the end, instead of it being lovers bliss. It ended up being a practical joke that the guy and his friend played on me. I felt like such a fool. Let me tell you that didn’t help my low self-esteem at all!

As I previously mentioned I dealt with discrimination and rejection in the workforce, too. No one would hire me because of my learning disabilities. A brilliant job opportunity fell through because co-workers lied about me.

Photo credit: Workplace harassment via Bing

When I was volunteering at a local retirement home, a male resident assaulted me by groping and attempting to kiss me.

With all of the trauma, I experienced I was a mess!

I spent years reading self-help books…it was much cheaper than therapy!

I could not understand why I was being treated like I was.

  • Why was I bullied?
  • Why was I harassed?
  • Why was I assaulted?
  • What is so wrong with me that nobody would hire me?
  • Why would someone lie about me so I wouldn’t be hired at was to be my only decent chance for a job?

I found it hard to trust. I pretty much kept to myself only spending time with my family.

I had imaginings of a bigger and better life but all of what I went through kept me away from pursuing it. I spent 30 years trying to improve my life, to overcome all that happened to me.

I thought plenty of times I had been healed but recently it all came to a nasty head. All the emotions that I been feeling came out one night and I cried! I vented to God for most of the night.

As the song states “Have a little talk with Jesus, Makes it Right!” and it sure did, I hadn’t felt that clear and at peace in a very long time!

I understand I may never forget what happened to me but I can honestly say I am starting to find ways to begin the bigger and better life I have been seeking.

I have come to understand I have to take life one day at a time. I have to keep pressing forward and not look back.

To my fellow survivors…

What happened to us was not our fault! We must continue on living and not give the abusers any more power.

You are just as worthy as anyone else, hence the song from Gloria Gaynor!

I WILL SURVIVE! I DID SURVIVE & SO WILL YOU!!

Sunday’s Thought: What Are You Going To Do?…

The photo above by rawpixel.com from Pexels

Hey, Everyone! Okay so before you ask – No, I’m officially not back yet…lol. However, do you miss me? I definitely miss you which is why I had to stick my head through the window. I’m still on hiatus, there’s a lot of things going on right now; however, with it being a new month and all, I was thinking about a FB live that I did 2 months ago and thought I’d share it with you.

It’s entitled “Finish The Assignment!” I was talking to the Lord about some things and before I could finish stating my case, this is what he told me. I don’t know how many of you have “unfinished business” that you have to do – maybe it’s a book, maybe it’s starting your own business, maybe it’s following your passion or finally completing something that you’ve put off on the back burner.

Whatever it is, 6 months have flown by and time is waiting on NO ONE! What are you going to do with the last 6 months of the year? Think about it and determine to FINISH what you started!

I pray this little video is an encouragement to you to pick up whatever it is you put down and FINISH IT because Time is waiting on NO ONE!

Talk to ya Soon!

P.S. Please excuse my hair – I should’ve left it down, it was definitely an in-between appointments stage…lol lol lol. (Oh Well, You can’t look like Angela Bassett all the time…he he)

https://www.facebook.com/ShesJustHerself/videos/1011908798998041/

I Quit…And I Feel Free! by Amy Temple

Featured Photo by Irina Iriser from Pexels

So, previously I mentioned that I’d been working for 13 years as a dog sitter for a Christian couple who live in the same residential community as my family and I. Well, it all went downhill very fast and here’s how…

Last month as I was taking the couple’s Boston Terrier puppy for a ride in its stroller, I stopped to talk to a woman who was also walking her dog.

When all of a sudden the couple’s Boston terrier puppy -who’s name shall remain anonymous at this point, jumps out of the stroller, despite having on a neck strap, in which fell completely off and goes after this woman’s dog!

Understandably the woman freaked out by the sudden action of the terrier but remained calm enough to pick up its leash and hand it to me. Afterward, what conversation we were having had now been compromised, she then took her dog and ran onto her porch, which thankfully was only a few feet away from the incident.

I felt completely horrible about the incident and apologized immensely, more times than I could count. Finally, I picked up the terrier who had seemingly calmed down, put him back into the stroller and walked away….deep down as I left the scene, I knew without a shadow of a doubt…

I was done with this job!

When I got home, my parents picked up that something was a little off with me as I still had the look of horror on my face. “What Happened? they asked. After telling them the story of the terrier and the chaos it called that day, they echoed my sentiment and agreed – It was time to quit!

Two days later, I spoke with the couple and gave my two weeks notice. However, after further discussion, we all mutually agreed that I’d be better to end the agreement immediately. In all, the agreement was peaceful and offered an open door for me to visit the puppy anytime I wanted.

When I look back on the situation, I realize that I shouldn’t have said yes when the couple asked me to return as their dog sitter for a new puppy they had gotten right after their 14-yr old Boston Terrier passed away.

I knew the hours for taking care of the puppy were going to be dreadfully long, especially since both worked full-time jobs. Honestly, I did try for several months to train him but this last incident had proved to be a little too much for me to handle.

Photo Credit: huffingtonpost.co.uk

However, as I move on, I can’t say I have any regrets over my decision to quit. Now, I have all the time in the world to put my time and energy where it matters most and that’s with my family and my dog Echo – who is very glad I am not leaving her as often as I used to!

Now don’t get me wrong – I haven’t done away with my dog training career completely. I’m still working and do have other clients but the work is sporadic and not on a daily basis as the past couple’s were.

The puppy experience over the last few months had left me with a feeling of overwhelming anxiety – so much so, it nearly wiped me out!

But now I feel so free!

Free enough to pursue and kick my writing career up a notch! I already have several writing opportunities lined up.

Hmm! I wonder, could that be a sign from God?

I think it might be.

What do you think?

Amy is a resident of Florida.  Since 2006, she has been self-employed in the dog care field.  In May 2017, she self-published a memoir titled “I Am Not Stupid” which is available through Amazon.  She writes for seethegoodinfo, an inspirational website and the Learning Disabilities Association’s newsletter LD Source.