Reflection: The Number 4 & It’s Celebratory Moment In My Life

Featured Image above: by The Lazy Artist Gallery from Pexels

Ahhhh, or I guess I should say “WOOSAH” Where in the world do I start. Ever since I beat out shyness at the age of 30 (Yeah, late bloomer here), I’ve really never been at a loss for words but for some reason when it came down to reflect on the number 4 and 40, you’ll find out those meanings in a sec. I honestly didn’t know where to start, what to really say or if I should just skip this week and not post at all…

I have to admit, I’m usually prepared and have things scheduled, but this post is literally coming at you word-for-word as I sit at my computer and type away. Well, here it goes…

So the number 4 and 40 are celebratory because the number 4 represents a hurdle crossed that I didn’t think would last a month, less known a year. The number 40 represents the turn of a century that I honestly didn’t think I’d live to see. Without further ado, let’s begin with the number 4 in which all started in March when I got this beautiful notification from WordPress:

Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com! You registered on WordPress.com 4 years ago. Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.

I mean, has it been 4 years already?? – Geesh, where has the time gone? I remember the month and day that I started this blog. It’s amazing because months prior I was beginning to wonder, what in the world my purpose/gift was. You know there’s a time in all of our lives where you want to become more strategic with your purpose and you begin to put more thought into what you’re doing and how what you’re doing is affecting the people around you. I had no idea what my true purpose was, I did in a sense but I hadn’t began to really cultivate it.


Photo by Buenosia Carol from Pexels

Mind you, I’ve always been known as the “jack of all trades.” I could tell you how to do anything but I wasn’t a master at any of it. At one point I felt as if I was just put here on earth to just fly with the wind but deep inside I knew something more was there – people would look at me and the only thing I would get was “There’s something about you, I just can’t put my finger on it” In any case this could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it…lol.

However, In my spirit, I felt as if I should be doing more as if whatever it was I was doing, was nothing compared to what I should’ve been doing – if any of that even makes sense. As I scrolled through my email one day I saw the advertisement for WordPress and starting a blog, as soon as I see that advertisement – something in my spirit jumped as if to say “THAT’S IT!” needless to say, I didn’t take the bait and waited another 6 months in which I see the same advertisement and again, my spirit leaped and again, I didn’t do it. March 13, 2015 – there it was again except this time, the feeling I felt was forceful as if I was in labor and the baby was coming…whether I was ready for it or not.


Photo by Nicholas Githiri from Pexels

I felt something deep inside me say “DO IT NOW!!” and I did it, right then and there. I was hesitant about paying for my domain name, choking up the excuse of “I didn’t have the money” I learned a lesson from that experience and through it – I birthed my first blog post on this site entitled “Invest in Yourself……First!” and the rest as the old adage says “is history” I had no idea what I was going to talk about or even if this blog would last. Sometimes I can be an “it’s new” type of gal and once I get bored, It’s thrown to the side with other unfinished projects. I have to say, I acknowledged God every step of the way and 4 years later, here I am and I’m so grateful for the love, the support and the followers new and old who have stuck with me throughout this time.

I know there’s people out there that read the blog and never like or leave a comment but they read it and I’m even more grateful for that support as well because there’s a lot of things out here that could get your attention but to give me 5% of it, I count it an honor and I’m humbled. If we never meet or speak to each other, know that I feel the love.


Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

SOOOOOOOOOOO……that’s that, now you might be thinking, what’s up with the 40! Well, that’s how old I’ll be turning on tomorrow! I’m nervous, scared, disappointed, happy and optimistic all at the same time. Not sure if you can have all those arrays of emotions going on but I certainly do.

My doctor told me earlier this week that his friend told him that his 40’s were his best decade ever and I’m soooo holding on to that. There are so many things I can say about going into 40. I’ve experienced a lot of ups as well as downs getting to this point and I’ve made some terrible mistakes but I’m going into 40 with a little more wisdom and a lot of more love for myself. It’s sad because if I can be honest, I messed up my 20’s and most of my 30’s and even though, by 30, I’d finally discovered my voice. I had trouble using it and continuously welcomed, unacceptable behavior in the terms of “toxic” relationships.

Over that period, I’d gained many friends and lost just as many. Some for no apparent reason at all – I just happened to look around and realized they were no longer there. Some instances of that happening hurt like hell (pardon the language) and in other circumstances, I was glad for the departure. I’ve learned a lot getting to this point and it’s true what they say, the older you get you tend to become less worried about what people think, what people say and how people view you. I now realize my worth and KNOW who I am. I’m no longer hungry for love, attention or friendships. I allow things to happen organically now, which in my opinion – is best.


Photo by Godisable Jacob from Pexels

The one thing I’m looking forward to in my 40’s is my kids graduating high school and completing college if I should still be writing at 50 and if their heads are screwed on right (fingers crossed) They’d be done accomplished both by the time I reach the end of my 40’s. So it’ll be cool to see what my reflections I write at that time for sure.

Going into 40 while I’m working on my emotions towards it. One emotion I’m sure of and that’s the bittersweet moments. (Okay, the flood gates are about to swing wide open..) I miss my mother dearly. Every year, no matter what age I turned, she would always have her “mother-daughter” coming of age talk with me. My mother had experienced it all and seen it all so she was destined to tell me every year what the new age would hold for me and how I should conduct myself as a lady. It was her thing and I loved it. Every time I would get ready to turn an age, I would ask “Okay, mama when do I need to schedule my talk with you” – haha. If she was here I would have gotten my birthday present in February….lol lol. She always gave birthday gifts EXTRA early.

It’s funny because I wonder what wisdom she’d share with me in regards to the 40’s, I would give anything to have at least 15 min with her – but mama’s gone now…

Please help me say “WHOOSAH!!”


Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

Moving Forward >>>

You know Life is unexpected and while living it – you’ll have your many ups, downs and coming out of nowhere situations but guess what – you just have to live it, make the best of whatever it throws at you and celebrate every…single…moment! I mean, every one of them, no matter how big or how small. Because we only are guaranteed one shot, some are lucky and get more – but you have to live it as if ONE is all you have and will ever get.

Embrace it, Cherish it, Hug, Love, Kiss and CELEBRATE!

I don’t know what this next phase will hold. I’m sure like with everything else, there will be many ups and of course some low downs but I’m praying for bigger and better accomplishments, I plan to continue to be on the grind and crush goals. I plan to produce one, two or more books to be published – prayerfully from a traditional publisher. Build my business (RoBCreative), raise these teenagers into something great (again, fingers crossed) and LOVE, give back and invest. I think love has finally found me, maybe i’ll be able to write about that someday.

Whatever comes and whatever goes, I’m standing with open arms ready to embrace it and like my doctor said, maybe the 40’s will truly be my best decade starting tomorrow and to infinity and beyond….I’M READY.


Photo by nappy from Pexels

If you made it to the end of this post, Thanks for sticking around, I truly winged this one ; )

Advertisements

Can I have My Deposit Back – PLEASSSSEEEEE!!

True Story – I mean all my stories are true but you get it =)

In 2007 after living in an apartment with someone with HUGE feet living above me, Oh gosh – the noise and stomping. I can’t even begin to explain the torture, any-who I decided to move out and move into a nice little quaint house on the other side of town. I inquired about it, looked at it and had a sit down with the landlords in which were an elderly couple (names I shall not say), but they were super nice. The only thing they wanted was someone to take care of the place. While the place was really small, it had a load of character in which I loved.

Image credit: pexels

Immediately I began to see where I would put all my furniture and how I was going to make smaller areas, such as my bedroom work. The washer and dryer was going to have to be in the kitchen, a feature I didn’t particularly like, but hey. It had loads of charm and it was well maintained. It had a very nice backyard with a storage building. So any furniture I was not going to be able to fit into the space, could easily go into there.

Another feature I didn’t notice but quickly became annoyed with was the fact that the house was 15 steps from the local AIRPORT!!! Geeshhh, you know how you get so gung ho and excited over something until you forget the MAJOR details! I’m so like that. But, it had loads of charm! A three bedroom 2 full bath, who can beat that and the kitchen was even big enough for me to put in a computer desk for my office. How cool was that!

Immediately with the place, I would say about a week or two in – I seen a huge water bug making it’s way out of the kitchen. Scared the living daylights out of me…but it wasn’t the last one, it seemed like when we moved in – a whole other family moved into the furnishings as well. It was indeed water bug city! I immediately told the couple about this and they suggested I put down sticky traps along the walls and that I did…while it helped some, the kicker was a BIGGER than life one crawling across my TV screen as I watched the news one morning….I was livid! I had a 8 month old and a 1.5 year old at the time and I was so scared one of those suckers was going to bite them or get into my son’s crib or my daughters BED! Needless to say and to make a long story short, after living there for about a year and a half, I decided it was time to go.

The elderly couple that seemed so nice in the beginning turned into monsters in the end!

I cleaned the place to the best of my ability and mind you, as with moving you will have a load of stuff to throw away and I made sure it was placed neatly in front of the house so the garbage people can pick it up. I left the house in good standing. No rips or tears anywhere and it was clean….so now I awaited my 500 dollar deposit to come into the mail. A deposit that I never received.

What I did receive was a letter from the couple citing that I had lost and/or misplaced a couple things of theirs and they charged the heck out of me for it:

  • Missing curtains that were hung up to the window when they showed the place that were no longer there. Now I don’t know if these curtains were new, but they charged me store prices for all 4 curtains!
  • Missing stove and AC unit manuals that were not in the drawer when I left.
  • Burners for the stove that were not replaced
  • The trash that was left out front – Yeah, they charged me for that too.
  • The clear shower curtains that were not on the shower rods and they charged me for the rods as well.
  • Painting and a whole lot of other stuff that I can’t even name or was unaware of and they tacked on the charges majorly….like those manuals? Yeah, they called the company and found out how much it would cost to get another one and it wasn’t cheap!

By the time they got done calculating and adding things up that didn’t make a lick of sense, I not only wasn’t getting my deposit back but I had owed them money, money in which they put me on a payment plan to pay back $25.00 a month until the balance of 200.00 was paid in full, this was two hundred after the five hundred I didn’t receive. I was SOOOOOOOOOOO (excuse my language) PISSED! I called them both RAGING in fury, crying and cursing them out to the top of my lungs and then I hung the phone up in their faces.

Image Credit: Moose Photos/Pexels

Now, I’m not proud of my actions as they were elderly and I should’ve showed them respect, no matter how they acted – but I wanted my deposit back!!!!!!! Hence the move, I ended up back at my parents house and was looking forward to that money to help alleviate some irons I had in the fire – owing someone was NOT what I was expecting, BUT it happened.

Recently, I just moved and since that move. I got my full deposit back. While that issue with the elderly couple was a tragic one, it was also an eye-opening one that taught me a valuable lesson going forward and I want to share a couple of tips with you in regards to it!

FIRST THOUGH…..

Image credit: Bing/livingwordmontrose.com

Every landlord is NOT created equal. People say private owners are better but I’ve had both and each had their own set of rules and regulations. Private owners are a little more relaxed but you have to make sure – you get all your “I’s” and “T’s” crossed! and please by ALL means, if you don’t understand something – ASK QUESTIONS and read the lease thoroughly (especially the move out section), because the information that’s contained in it, can come back to haunt you later.

NOW FOR THE TIPS….

Image credit: Bing/steinbachapartments.com

1. Do a complete walk thru of the place before you move in. Make sure you look for anything that may not look right to you. Bulbs, sockets, paint, previous holes that may be in the wall, under the sinks, the toilets – I mean everything and make a list of those findings and give it to the landlord, this ensures that you are not charged with anything that was previously there prior to moving in.

2. Be careful of the pictures you hang on the wall. I know in my earlier years of renting, I was a landlords nightmare! because I absolutely love decorating. I would hang big art on the walls and some of it would be heavy, causing me to use an anchor or a heavier nail or screw. And trust me, I got dinged for my creativeness when it came down to getting back that deposit. While landlords cannot take away your deposit due to normal wear and tear of a property, such as (paint, carpet and etc – depending on how long you’re there) They can deduct if the walls are damaged from either hanging pics that are too big or major holes caused by you. Make sure you get those patched up before leaving.

3. Are there things in the apartment or house prior to you moving in? As I stated above in my own story. The landlords had put up curtains and shower curtains and rods and so forth to make the place look nice. If there is anything of the such hanging up prior to your move in, ask the landlord are those your items to keep or would they like them back. Another thing you could do is take them all down and place them in a box labeled “Decorative items prior to move in” so you can make sure those items go right back up when you leave. It sounds petty but….as you seen with my story, it was a SERIOUS thing!

Image credit: Bing/Trulia

4. It’s wise if you do a walk-through of your place prior to leaving. Check everything and determine what you need to do to either fix it or call a professional to get it prepared. And if you can, try and replace the things that may have gotten damaged prior to you staying there, especially if it was in good condition before you moved in.

5. Take a video and or pictures of the place prior to moving out and keep receipts of everything that you might have replaced or gotten fixed. This covers you should you have a slumlord that thinks he’s keeping your deposit. Speaking of which and every state is different. Make sure you check with your state to see the time-frame a landlord has to return your deposit. For NC it’s 30 days, some landlords will give it back to you sooner than that, while others will stretch it out. Knowing this information will help you know when to expect it.

Bonus Tip: Be clear in the beginning about what your deposit will be used for. Either the last month’s rent or the deposit in which you’re expected to get back, should the place be in good standing. Talk with your landlord about this as most people confuse the deposit to be the last month’s rent and unless your landlord has told you differently. Then know that it’s clearly a deposit only.

I have one last tip and that’s How to Properly decorate your new “rental” space! Sometimes we can go a little overboard. That’s next week, so stay tuned!