I’ve had to deal with all kinds of discrimination and rejections for most of my life.
However, what I’m about to confess is something that I hadn’t openly talked about to many people.
In junior high, I encountered a lot of bullying and harassment. Every day I was verbally and occasionally physically harassed. I’d get called all sorts of derogatory names, mocking my learning disabilities. There were trippings, pushes, and verbal threats.
I was so frightened to go to school. I would huddle up against the wall in between classes clutching my bookbag tightly. I would often go homesick.
The school administration really tried hard to get the abuse under control but it was a big school so there was only so much they could do.
After two years my parents finally moved away to another town.
I attended high school in a nice and quiet country town. What a relief it was to see friendly people and not be afraid I was going to be assaulted.
However, I dealt with a male student who asked me out frequently for over a year! He wouldn’t take no for an answer. I found all those familiar feelings of fear returning. I finally got a teacher to get him to back off.
I found myself dealing with some serious trauma issues. I dealt with anxiety, fear, and insecurity.
I wanted to be approved of so badly! I wanted to be free from all of my negative feelings. During my senior year, I thought maybe if I had the attention of a popular guy… all my mental problems would be over.
So, I mustered up the courage and asked one of them out.
In the end, instead of it being lovers bliss. It ended up being a practical joke that the guy and his friend played on me. I felt like such a fool. Let me tell you that didn’t help my low self-esteem at all!
As I previously mentioned I dealt with discrimination and rejection in the workforce, too. No one would hire me because of my learning disabilities. A brilliant job opportunity fell through because co-workers lied about me.
When I was volunteering at a local retirement home, a male resident assaulted me by groping and attempting to kiss me.
With all of the trauma, I experienced I was a mess!
I spent years reading self-help books…it was much cheaper than therapy!
I could not understand why I was being treated like I was.
Why was I bullied?
Why was I harassed?
Why was I assaulted?
What is so wrong with me that nobody would hire me?
Why would someone lie about me so I wouldn’t be hired at was to be my only decent chance for a job?
I found it hard to trust. I pretty much kept to myself only spending time with my family.
I had imaginings of a bigger and better life but all of what I went through kept me away from pursuing it. I spent 30 years trying to improve my life, to overcome all that happened to me.
I thought plenty of times I had been healed but recently it all came to a nasty head. All the emotions that I been feeling came out one night and I cried! I vented to God for most of the night.
As the song states “Have a little talk with Jesus, Makes it Right!” and it sure did, I hadn’t felt that clear and at peace in a very long time!
I understand I may never forget what happened to me but I can honestly say I am starting to find ways to begin the bigger and better life I have been seeking.
I have come to understand I have to take life one day at a time. I have to keep pressing forward and not look back.
To my fellow survivors…
What happened to us was not our fault! We must continue on living and not give the abusers any more power.
Hey, Everyone! Okay so before you ask – No, I’m officially not back yet…lol. However, do you miss me? I definitely miss you which is why I had to stick my head through the window. I’m still on hiatus, there’s a lot of things going on right now; however, with it being a new month and all, I was thinking about a FB live that I did 2 months ago and thought I’d share it with you.
It’s entitled “Finish The Assignment!” I was talking to the Lord about some things and before I could finish stating my case, this is what he told me. I don’t know how many of you have “unfinished business” that you have to do – maybe it’s a book, maybe it’s starting your own business, maybe it’s following your passion or finally completing something that you’ve put off on the back burner.
Whatever it is, 6 months have flown by and time is waiting on NO ONE! What are you going to do with the last 6 months of the year? Think about it and determine to FINISH what you started!
I pray this little video is an encouragement to you to pick up whatever it is you put down and FINISH IT because Time is waiting on NO ONE!
Talk to ya Soon!
P.S. Please excuse my hair – I should’ve left it down, it was definitely an in-between appointments stage…lol lol lol. (Oh Well, You can’t look like Angela Bassett all the time…he he)
Last month as I was taking the couple’s Boston Terrier puppy for a ride in its stroller, I stopped to talk to a woman who was also walking her dog.
When all of a sudden the couple’s Boston terrier puppy -who’s name shall remain anonymous at this point, jumps out of the stroller, despite having on a neck strap, in which fell completely off and goes after this woman’s dog!
Understandably the woman freaked out by the sudden action of the terrier but remained calm enough to pick up its leash and hand it to me. Afterward, what conversation we were having had now been compromised, she then took her dog and ran onto her porch, which thankfully was only a few feet away from the incident.
I felt completely horrible about the incident and apologized immensely, more times than I could count. Finally, I picked up the terrier who had seemingly calmed down, put him back into the stroller and walked away….deep down as I left the scene, I knew without a shadow of a doubt…
I was done with this job!
When I got home, my parents picked up that something was a little off with me as I still had the look of horror on my face. “What Happened? they asked. After telling them the story of the terrier and the chaos it called that day, they echoed my sentiment and agreed – It was time to quit!
Two days later, I spoke with the couple and gave my two weeks notice. However, after further discussion, we all mutually agreed that I’d be better to end the agreement immediately. In all, the agreement was peaceful and offered an open door for me to visit the puppy anytime I wanted.
When I look back on the situation, I realize that I shouldn’t have said yes when the couple asked me to return as their dog sitter for a new puppy they had gotten right after their 14-yr old Boston Terrier passed away.
I knew the hours for taking care of the puppy were going to be dreadfully long, especially since both worked full-time jobs. Honestly, I did try for several months to train him but this last incident had proved to be a little too much for me to handle.
However, as I move on, I can’t say I have any regrets over my decision to quit. Now, I have all the time in the world to put my time and energy where it matters most and that’s with my family and my dog Echo – who is very glad I am not leaving her as often as I used to!
Now don’t get me wrong – I haven’t done away with my dog training career completely. I’m still working and do have other clients but the work is sporadic and not on a daily basis as the past couple’s were.
The puppy experience over the last few months had left me with a feeling of overwhelming anxiety – so much so, it nearly wiped me out!
But now I feel so free!
Free enough to pursue and kick my writing career up a notch! I already have several writing opportunities lined up.
Hmm! I wonder, could that be a sign from God?
I think it might be.
What do you think?
Amy is a resident of Florida. Since 2006, she has been self-employed in the dog care field. In May 2017, she self-published a memoir titled “I Am Not Stupid” which is available through Amazon. She writes for seethegoodinfo, an inspirational website and the Learning Disabilities Association’s newsletter LD Source.
Phew, that title was A LOT but it was well needed as this post will have a little bit of “Everything” in between. Last Thursday If you read my posts “Letting it All Hang Out, Part Deux (2)” – then you might have saw me mention that I will be taking a break. As a matter of fact, just in case you missed part Un (1) then let me save you the time from looking them up in the search engine – Here you go!
No need to thank me, I love giving the people what they want (says my head space =) Okay, so now that I’ve gotten you caught up just a little bit. I’m taking a blogging break this summer. Don’t cry as I know you’re going to miss me (head space again =) but I’ll be back! Who am I kidding, you probably could care less but I’m in my head space so let’s just pretend for now. Anywho, this is probably WELL overdue but I thought I’d take time to work on and build up my business; gracefully entitled Roshonda-B Creative – A writing and creative design publishing company. I talked about it in depth in this blog post right here >>>>It’s Your Business, So Set the Tone!
And that title couldn’t be farther from the truth, your business is like your newborn baby. If you don’t nurture it, feed it and take care of it – it’ll die. So that’s what I’m taking time from blogging to do, to take care of my newborn baby – i.e. My Business! I’ll be getting things in order for it such as creating a website, getting my services in order and talking with seasoned business professionals (Have you heard of SCORE?, Check them out!) on what my next steps should be and what I should be doing at this time.
SCORE offers business mentors (for free!) that can and will help you in your business goals, they also offer free WebEx and educational materials. I’m sure you have a SCORE branch in your location so if you’re a little confused about what you should be doing next in business? Reach out to them to get the process started on getting you a mentor today, because everyone needs someone that’s smarter than them…right?
“Just wanted to throw this out there -No, this is not a sponsored post for SCORE and I’m not getting paid or compensated in any way for my comments or thoughts. Just like sharing good Info, Okurrrr!!”
Now back to me taking a break, I do have someone that you all may have read quite a few things from and that’s Amy Temple!!! She’ll be back and taking over the blogs while I’m away, so please be sure to show her some LOVE. I’m not sure yet as to how many times she’ll post, but it’ll be something here for your to learn, read and get inspired from, so don’t shut us out until I return as there will be a little somethin, somethin here.
Another person you can visit while the cat’s away is Roy Lee Barrett – Roy writes short, true inspirational stories and he’s working on a book entitled “True Inspirational Short Stories” right now he’s in the process of looking for individuals to submit their true but remember “short” stories to him, he’s also a ghost writer. So if you have a true story to tell that could potentially get published just send him the story here: TrueStoryTeller@mail.com.
You can read a true Inspirational story every single day at Roy Lee Unchained I promise you, you’ll be inspired by it just as much as I was. Roy is 75 years young! A street kid who once roamed the street for 2.5 yrs before being placed in a orphanage. You’ll have to read the rest of the story yourself (no giveaways!) Go show him some incredible LOVE!
And last but certainly NOT least – The Followers!
I have millions of them (my head-space again =) I can’t control it…any ways, these are the A-MAZING people that followed this blog recently and I’m grateful for it! I may not always get back to you or even go and read the blogs because, well – LIFE (no excuse) but it’s crazy sometimes, so please charge to my head and definitely not my heart. However, I hope you feel my heart when I say, go and view these bloggers posts!
As a blogger myself, it takes a lot of work to put time aside to write as well as post your thoughts, tips, materials and so forth and who doesn’t want it to be read. I mean unless you’re just posting to be posting but I believe deep down we all want our work to be seen as well as heard and commented on. I’m working on doing this more although some days are better than others in this feat but we have to support each other, even if it’s just giving a shout-out, in which is what this portion of the post is all about THE MIGHTY SHOUT-OUT!
(P.S. This post was scheduled so if you just recently followed me (like yesterday or the day before) then you won’t be on this list – However; I’ll get you next time (pinky promise ; )
Okay, so there you have it – I must admit, there were some followers that were free money online type gigs or maybe they were very “salesy” if that makes sense, so I didn’t add those. However, check out the one’s above and leave them a comment if you can.
Well my friends, colleagues, loved ones and followers I bid you a sweet Adios…
A BIG YAY!!!! if you read Part 1 of letting it all hang
out and have come back for Part 2. I really appreciate you and Guess Whattttttt……A
WHOSE THE BOSS NOW – PHONE STORAGE!!
Okay, so maybe you’re just seeing part 2 and don’t know what the heck I’m talking about, well you’ll just have to read part 1 to know the excitement I’m feeling at this moment. This is just a “getting to know me” post of questions that I get asked all the time or pretty frequently. The first 6 were last week and this week is the last 6 with a bonus.
I hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know me…if you’d like to ask a question,
just leave it in the comment section and I’ll answer it – I’m pretty much an
open book except for on the subject of “Politics”- My mind just can’t
take it. You know there are conversations that people just get a kick out of
having and that’s one that I don’t but any other question is acceptable.
So let’s get into it again – Push play, if you haven’t already…lol.
Oh No!! where’s the video!?! Okay, so the excitement above is totally how I imagined things happening in a sunflower and rainbow world – hence the pic below…
But as you can see – My phone really is the boss of me…
Well, while I imagine and dream of getting a new one, in the meantime listed below are the “typed out” second part of the questions I get asked a lot or have just experienced recently.
The Show Must Continue So, On and Upward – Here they are…
1. What Do You Like to Do in Your Spare Time?
Wow. Sometimes I don’t feel like I get a lot of spare time but when I do, I enjoy watching movies and Series – I don’t know if you remember that show “The Office” with Steve Carell, but over the weekend, I watched Season 3 of that. It was a very off humor type of show. I found the DVD at the Salvation Army for $2.99 in which was a steal! Which brings me to my next thing I love to do in my spare time and that’s shop at the thrift stores, I absolutely love it.
You can find some really good deals and steals there – a friend of mine got married earlier this month and I needed some silver shoes, just happened to go in there after an appointment a couple of days before her wedding and found a cute pair of silver wedged sling backs for $3.99 and they were BRAND NEW! I couldn’t pass that up and they went great with my outfit. Other things I like to do is write, relax and sleep in if I can.
2. Do you have any Crazy Indulgences?
OMGosh, I used to have a crazy indulgence about listening to celebrity gossip. Truth is I was subscribed to over four or five YTube channels – all of which were nothing but celebrity gossip channels in which they all talked about the same thing but each gave their different take on the matter and evidence. I was so hooked on that and reality shows…but you know how things can overtake your life, energy and space? I realized that, that was what these things were doing.
I would even push off important things to watch! I was addicted you can say, finally one day I realized that I had to stop and let something go, well – I ended up letting them all go. It was too much, I was paying more attention to their lives than my own and you know what the bible says about having “other gods” (notice the little g) before the big God (notice the big G) We have to pay attention to the things in our lives that we yield our mind, body and spirit too.
3. What are your biggest accomplishments outside of blogging?
Well, let’s see…I used to think that blogging was not an accomplishment because it didn’t yield me a lot of followers or make me famous (true story) but blogging is an accomplishment as a matter of fact anything in our life is an accomplishment when we’ve decided to quit playing around with our dreams and goals and actually go after them, not just by mouth but by hands and foot and what I mean by that is, you’re working to make it happen; because talking about it and actually doing it, is two different stories. I’ve written a children’s book and I was able to do book reviews for two authors.
I finally put the foot to the plow and started my own business this year, its up and coming (really new, like last month new) but I’m finally letting go of fear and putting myself out there. I’m also a singles ministry leader and this year makes year two of “The Naked Truth” gathering. You know how some people start something but you don’t hear about it anymore? Well, God bless – this was a vision he gave me and a friend of mine and we’re doing it! (If you want to know more about this, just ask me in the comment section)
4. Are you married?
The question is no but I would love to be “again” one day. I got married when I was 24 years old. I was excited about it however; he wasn’t the man I wanted to marry. I mean I said yes on that “predictable” Valentine’s Day. (I say predictable because why people choose holidays to propose, its so cliche’ – the older me now knows that, the younger me then was ecstatic!) He wasn’t the man I wanted or even needed in my life. Truth be told I only married him because I felt convicted every time I went to church, we were living together after he got kicked out of his place. I had just purchased my first home at 23 and it looked and smelled soooo good, That was also a great accomplishment, says the younger me (the older me now knows while this was an accomplishment, I should have waited until I was mature enough to know what “home ownership” really meant. He moved in and it seemed like everything sweet turned sour.
He was a mess and he brought his mess to my place. I was immature, I didn’t know what marriage really entailed; I was going by the way it looked in movies but I wasn’t prepared to deal with it in real life and I sure didn’t have a knight in shining armor. He was married twice and had older kids, one at the time was just getting to high school, and the other had just graduated. And there I was, no kids – had never been married and with someone whom had already experienced life, I was looking for someone that I could experience life with…sigh…but I just didn’t have the voice to speak up and say it. I felt like he was the best I could do (oh if I knew then what I know now) I would tell anyone, get to know who you are first before you bring someone into your life. Spend time with you, love you – Raise the rent on your self-worth and charge taxes!!
5. When was the last time you cried?
So, I’ve been crying ever since my mom passed in 2016. She was my rock, my love and while we had our ups and downs as mother and daughter, she was my best friend and I miss her every day, she’s in my heart and mind every day. There are little things that I see or experience that lets me know she’s around me, those are the things I cherish most. However, I don’t really cry every day, although that first year was tough, God bless, every year after thus far has gotten a little better, I still have my moments but for the most part, I know who my mom was, how she lived and who she served so that gives me comfort that she’s in a much better place.
But the last time I cried was like two weeks ago when someone told me that they wonder if I’m a true Christian because my faith was small and not as elaborate as theirs….this hurt me to the core and the person that said it to me, we would pray together, talk about the bible together and they knew how much I valued God, but you’d still turn around and say something crazy like that to me? I was appalled! Everyone’s faith is different, some people have the faith to believe that they can walk on a car lot today and leave with a brand new car and they actually do it! But you have others whose faith may not be that strong – it’s not because they don’t believe in God it’s just that their faith isn’t there yet but that’s where the bible says, “The strong, ought to bear the infirmity of the weak” So in the areas where I’m weak, you should be strong. Needless to say it took me some time to talk back with that person…
6. Do you have any crazy eating habits?
YES! almonds and cream cheese are my newest snacks that I enjoy eating together. I love dipping my almonds in cream cheese and eating it…ha-ha, yesssss – it’s so good so you have to try it. That’s if you like that sort of thing. Someone once told me about putting pimento cheese (hint, hint Palmetto Cheese – the Pimento Cheese with Soul is the ABSOLUTE BEST out there!!) and ham on a sandwich, Chillleee?!? – it’s now one of my favorite things to eat and with a side of tomato and chips? This girl is in #foodie heaven! For reals….lol
7. Will you Blog forever?
That question is “I don’t know” – I honestly didn’t think I’d be blogging this long but I’m here. I’ll blog as long as God gives me the strength to do it and as long as I have something to talk about. There are times where I feel like I need to take a break from it and I’m going to be doing that very soon (more to come that) but otherwise – I plan to continue and that’s only if nothing else takes precedence such as getting married to a prince (heheheh – I’ll give you time to catch that one)
Well, that’s it in a nutshell, that’s all about ME! Of course if you have any questions that you’d like to ask, feel free to ask in the comments. Thanks so much for reading, commenting and even following! I have a few new followers and I’ll let you know about them next week! because I already held you long enough =)
Take Care! See Ya In the Blogs soon enough. Much Love.