I Need Help! Can Someone Get Me A Counselor, Please?

Featured Image Credit: Defendernetwork.com

Okay, say it with me…
THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH GETTING HELP!

Now that you’ve said that, let’s dig into my topic above. March in my mind is Mental Health Awareness month, now before you get all technical with me, I know there’s a mental health awareness day somewhere during the year but if you ask me? It can be anytime you realize or come to grips that you seriously need to talk to someone.

That’s the realization I came to last month. I’m always there for other people, I always take out time to listen to them, their problems, issues, hurts, habits and hang-ups and I really do listen. Once their through talking, I give my two cents on the matter, in most cases I’ve prayed with them or include them in my prayers once the convo is over and they go on their merry way. NOW, how does this all play out when I need someone to talk too???

Do you hear the crickets??..

Yes, that’s usually what I hear OR if I do talk to someone, it’ll start out being about my issue and somehow it reverts to their issue and I end up helping them through theirs without getting my issue dissected. I once was friends with someone who did this on MORE than one occasion. I’d always love seeing them and hanging out, they’ll ask me about my day and how things have been going with me and I’ll respond and the next thing you know, there on themselves, their life, their goals, their family, their business and their this and their that and the list goes on and on and on. Most times by the time they’d work their way back around to what I had to say, I’d be too exhausted to answer them and all I can get out is…

“Everything’s Just Fine” but in my head, that was a LIE!

Anywho, that’s been my life with friendships and unfortunately personal relationships as well. I’ve always put others before “ME” and last month I found myself doing that yet again and decided that enough was enough. I have to talk to someone and if I can’t find people around me that’s willing to listen, I’d find a counselor that will.

Here’s what I found out with my insurance plan in regards to mental health and some tips on how you can put yourself FIRST starting now in 2020. Because It’s never too late…

Check your insurance plan

Image credit: Quicken Loans

Mental health is on the rise and I’m so happy that more and more people are discussing it, the more we talk about it the less taboo it’ll feel. It’s nothing to be ashamed of either, hey – we can ALL use a mental check. In pursuing a counselor, I googled my insurance to see what counselors/offices accept it. Once I went through the list provided, I then called my insurance company to see if these doctors were in-network or out of network. Luckily the one I chose was in-network. Out-of-network is okay just know that you’ll be paying a little more in co-pay. I also found out that my co-pay was $25 and that my plan came with unlimited visits for that amount. Now that’s a win-win, so don’t be afraid to reach out to your insurance carrier, after all – that’s what you’re paying for every month. Might as well take advantage of it.

Realize Your Limits

Image credit: Lifedaily.com

Maybe seeing a therapist is NOT on your to-do list at the moment and that’s okay. However, you need to realize when you’ve reached your limit in a conversation. In the past, I’ve talked to people and have gotten the worst headache/migraine afterward or just felt like – BLAH!! We have to realize and I totally believe in this, people transfer their energy onto you. While you want to help a friend, you have to think about your sanity and your Feng sui as well. It can be thrown completely off if your friend is going on and on and on again about the same old drama you gave her or him pointers on months ago. Self-care is the best care. Sometimes you just have to say, “Look I gotta go” or “I just had something to come up – can I call you back?” learn to give yourself a BREAK even in the midst of a convo. And you better believe, your sanity is awaiting to applaud you.

You Better Get Selfish

Image credit: Sadhguru.org

This goes into the “Self-Care” regimen. I’m learning this even now, you don’t have to respond to every text or answer every call (unless it’s life or death) at the drop of a hat because someone needs you. You need you, your body and mind need you to be able to think clearly and focus on you and your needs. If you give EVERYONE in the world your time or what little you have after a long day of work. Then what’s left for you? Oh, my bad – THE BED! because that’s exactly where you’ll be going and nobody has time to work, do family, put out fires with your friends and etc and NOT be able to stay awake for at least 2 hours to do something for yourself. Life wasn’t set up for you to be that way, but you know how life works – it goes in the direction you lead it. Think about it.

Truth brings — CHANGE

Image credit: Bing

I’ve had my share of toxic friendships and relationships, the thing is I didn’t really know they were toxic until they left me broke, dry and questioning my own sanity. Our life lets in what we put out – if you keep talking to people that just don’t get it or that keeps you in a box, everything else that comes your way will be the same way. We have to learn to speak up and I’m preaching to the choir on this one, I don’t speak up enough. I let things go on and I accept people’s “ish” because I either don’t want to lose them or afraid I’m being too pushy with my standards, so I digress. The one thing I have to constantly drill in my head is, to be honest with myself as well as the people around me. If it means they’ll leave me, then let them. It just means they were out of place in my life anyway. If it makes me uncomfortable, say it. If I feel as though I’m giving 100% and only getting 20% in return? then leave! And you know what? you don’t have to give ANYONE an explanation for doing so.

** ** ** ** **

Life is ALL about making the right choices that will push us forward into being the GREAT and AMAZING beings we were created to be in the first place and if that means being a little selfish and/or getting a little help along the way to accomplish that? Then, by all means, DO IT!

Do you have a counselor or go to therapy sessions? How do you handle a convo that pushes you past your mental limit? Sound off in the comments!

So, What is “Gal-Entines” And Why Should It Be Celebrated?!

Featured Image – Bing

Let me share what Gal-Entines is ALLLLLLLL about take it away Leslie!

Amy Poehler – Parks and Recreation

Thank you my Gal pal, Leslie. I’ll take it over from here.

Yes, there is such a thing as Gal-Entines! WHICH is to be celebrated today! So happy Gal-Entines to ALL of my ladies out there. As you can see per Leslie (Amy Poehler), it’s a celebration with your gal pals whether you’re married or NOT! Now I know V-Day is officially tomorrow and it’s a day where all the single ladies are either celebrating themselves or a little pa-turd that they’re not getting the roses and the chocolates. I get it, I used to be that way too but hey, why not celebrate ourselves right? After all we deserve it, whether you’re boo’d up or NOT!

Check this post out 👉👉👉 Beware of Coupling Season! Are You A Victim?

I don’t know about you but for the past 4 or 5 years, I’ve always treated “V-Day” like any other day. However, to celebrate the occasion, I’d always go and grab my favorite dish from the Olive Garden, get me a piece of cake from my other favorite place (Confection Connection) and go home to watch a good movie. And there you’d have it, Valentine’s Day was over…

This year, I wanted to do something a little different. After talking to other single gals, I realized that I wasn’t the only one that celebrated this way. There were a plethora of “single” ladies who weren’t boo’d up just like me. So why should I have to stay in the house? My sentiments, EXACTLY!.

I’m unsure how it’s all going to go down, but I’ve planned an event for our singles ministry this year all themed around the “Gals” – there will be arts and crafts, games, food, spoken word and hopefully a lot of laughs and a lot of good times. So, we’ll see how it pans out. I am asking for a small fee for this event (i.e $7) but you’d pay more than that eating out! The event is tomorrow although I know the official “Gal-Entines” day is supposed to happen the day before V-Day I just couldn’t let a Friday go to waste.

Another Good Read 👉 5 Common Mistakes Women Must Give Up, To Get The Man of Their Dreams

As women, we need to celebrate each other, even if you do have a boo. Gal-Entines is all about celebration and good times, something that women don’t do enough of, especially in regards to one another. I don’t know what your plans are for this Gal-Entines day or even tomorrow, but whatever you do, make sure you show the special “Gals” around you, some love and appreciation!

Plan a party, an outing or go to the movies….they have this new movie entitled “The Photograph” starring Issa Rae (Insecure) and Lakeith Stanfield (Get Out) that looks amazing and it comes out tomorrow on Valentine’s Day! (Can someone say, GIRLS TRIP!!) Anywho, no matter what you decide, make sure you get out with your best gal pals either today or sometime during the weekend to check that out or just have a really good time. Andddd It’s not too late to plan…

Listen, us gals just want to have FUN and why not do it together!! – As that’s what “Gal-Entines” is truly ALL about!

Marietta Sangai Sirleaf, better known as Retta – Parks and Recreation

It’s A Super Bowl “FOOD” Fest!!

Featured Photo: Cocina Delirante

Are you ready for the Superbowl?

Super Bowl LIV will be this upcoming Sunday, February 2nd, 2020 at 6:30pm ET/3:30 PT it’s the San Francisco 49ers vs. the Kansas City Chiefs! Now I know I’m talking right now as if I’m a HUGE Football fan but in reality, I’M REALLY NOT! – HAHAHAHA!! I mean…

Iyanla Vanzant – Fix My Life

YASSSS, I mean. I just learned what a 1st down was like two years ago…. I know, I know. So, I’m really not the fanatic fan, however, I have watched the game and have learned to cheer along when I saw everyone else cheering, you know I just didn’t want to feel out of place. I will watch it, just know that I will be asking quite a few questions if we watch it together – I warned ya!

So, what could be better than the Superbowl? THE FOOD!!!

I usually go to football gatherings/parties for this reason and this reason alone. The food is amazing and guess what, it’s lots of it. So, while everyone is cheering for the touchdown. I’m touching down in the kitchen to get another plate of wings!

Do you have Superbowl parties at your house or do you like going to them?

If Superbowl LIV is going to be at your house this year and you’re still trying to figure out what to cook up, I have a couple of old and new football party favorites recipes that will get your crowd cheering for the team as well as for the FOOD!

Recipe #1 – Barbequed Lil Smokies

These are very easy to make and one of my favorites, they’re good, small and don’t take up a lot of room in my plate while I’m feeling it up with other goodies!

Recipe #2 – Slider Burgers

Who doesn’t love a GOOD burger? I know I do and when they’re small enough to fit in your mouth, that’s even better for a Superbowl party. I mean you want finger foods and these little minis are not only the perfect addition but the perfect size. I substitute for turkey, but you can fix them however you like.

Recipe #3 – Wings and More Wings Please!

I’m a HUGE wing lover. I absolutely love chicken wings, wingettes, turkey wings – okay, just about anything with a wing, lol! You CAN’T have a Superbowl party with out wings, like it’s just not common and I’m going to have to take your chicken wing card if you do, lol. Wings are the staple for any party, I especially LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the flats. Do you love chicken wings?

Recipe #4 – Loaded Baked Potato Dip…Yum!\

This is a new recipe that I haven’t tried but I’m sure will win your crowd over. I love a good loaded baked potato myself (I mean, I’m just a foodie anyway…sigh) any who, this will be a great addition to any party.

Recipe #5 – Where’s the Chocolate Footballs!

No party is good with a little something to satisfy the sweet tooth and these chocolate football cookie balls looked so delicious. If you wanted to get super creative, you could decorate the outside to display both teams that are playing. Your crowd will be amazed at your talent but most of all happy that you’re not making them choose a side, in which you can just make them generic, that’s your choice as well.

No matter how you choose to celebrate the Superbowl, whether it’s by way of a party or a party of one OR two, it’s all about enjoying the moment and seizing the present with special friends and family. And on that note…

I want to give my heartfelt, sincerest condolences to the family of Kobe & Gianna Bryant, John Altobelli, Keri Altobelli, Alyssa Altobelli, Christina Mauser, Ara Zobayan & Sarah Chester. I know a lot of the news has been mainly on 5-time NBA Championship/MVP Kobe Bryant, 41 and I get it, he was the best (outside of Michael Jordan) basketball player of all time. His work ethic, mamba mentality and love of basketball garnered him much success and it looks as if his 13-yr. old daughter, Gianna Bryant was going to carry on that MAMBA legacy in the future for the WNBA (Women’s National Basketball Association) before their sudden and unfortunate demise this past Sunday, January 26th.

Kobe Bryant, Gianna Bryant

However, there are 7 other families that are hurting as well and from what I’ve been reading, they received the news like everyone else of their family’s demise by the news outlet and not a police official. To hear about your love, one dying through a news outlet, is beyond devastating. I can’t imagine what any of these families must be going through at this time, although I’ve lost a mother, so I know about loss and the dredging feeling of hopelessness it brings. Husbands lost wives, Wives lost husbands, Children lost siblings and friends lost best friends. It’s a tragedy that no one saw coming or even imagined in their wildest dreams.

Tonight, say their and their family’s names in your prayers – it’s going to be a LONG road ahead and they’re going to need every well wish possible to keep forging forward as they all take one step at a time towards healing. Allow this unfortunate tragedy of theirs help you make peace and get closer to the special ones in your life. No more grudges, No more hard feelings. Show peace and love, even if it’s not shown back to you. We only get one life and what we do with it is our responsibility.

May those 9 hearts, Rest in Heaven & In Peace.


2020 & Lemon Meringue Pie – OH MY!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020!!

I pray your holiday was a good one and that your new year got off to a good start, well it’s here. Another year, another goal, another decade! Wow…

Before I can move forward, I must take a step back for a moment.

The ending of my year turned out to be quite a scary one, the last post I wrote in December – you can check that out below just in case you got too busy and missed it. It was my last post of the year, it was also a week before my daughter was to go in and have a heart procedure done.

December’s Going Already? & Safety is KEYYYYYYYYY!!

I knew this day was coming, my daughter, I and the Cardiologist had, had the discussion for months and in August of 2018 we got a date as to when the surgery was going to happen. I wasn’t worried, I had prayed; however, as the months and days came closer. No lie, I was a little nervous. The doctors stated that the procedure was “non-life threatening” and the procedure had a 95% success rate. So that was nice to hear. My faith was strong…and I put her, it and them into God’s hands.

That was until I got some devastating news from the nurse

Surgery day came and we were all set, I had to be at the hospital by 7:30 a.m. meaning I had to get up at 4 am to be out of the house by 5:15 am as the hospital was about 2 hours away. Talking about tiredness…but we had things to do.

Once we got to the hospital and all the preliminaries were done, my daughter was whisked away to anesthesia. I wouldn’t see her again for 4 hours…

I sat in the waiting room for quite some time, I had my books, blanket, and phone so enough to keep me occupied. As a protocol for anyone going into surgery I received a phone call every hour letting me know what was going on when the surgery started and the process in between…when I didn’t get the last call but looked up to see the nurse coming towards me instead. I immediately thought, “Cool, they’re done” but little did I know that was far from what she came to say.

“We ran into a problem, she said”

Sitting on the edge of my seat, she had my undivided attention – with eyes glued securely on her and every word that was now coming out of her mouth, I held my breath a little…

“While the doctor was completing the surgery, your daughter’s heart began to bleed out; blood surrounded her heart, which contracted the heart muscle. We don’t know what happened; we’re trying to stop the bleeding. “We had to perform CPR on her”

My heart stopped and for a brief moment, I stared at her in a daze — as if what she was telling me was something she was reading out of a book of grim fairytales. Before I knew it, I broke down…

My daughter, if she had not been at the hospital she was at, with special doctors that know how to handle cases of this matter in a matter of seconds – my daughter would’ve died a week before Christmas. Just the thought of that makes me cringe with fear, my baby girl. BUTTTTT and a BIG BUT, God is SOOOO AWESOMELY GOOD! She had to stay in ICU for a couple of days after that before she got moved to a regular floor but as of right now, she’s doing better and can resume her regular activities according to the cardio on Monday. I give God praise.  

While the year ended with a little turbulence, 2020 came in as sweet as pie, literally!

Over the holidays, I looked forward to spending time with my sister, brother-in-law and my nieces. Our children are around the same age, so my kids always look forward to being with their cousins.

The weather was favorable and I got a GOOD dose of Christmas movies, I even got a chance to catch up on Season 4 of Greenleaf (If you haven’t seen this show, what in the world have you been doing??? Please check out Netflix and catch up!!) I promise, it’s one of my favorite shows, so I binged.

I also read a book series by Lexcee Reel – Lexcee is a self-published author on the RISE!

She has a fourth book entitled “Undying Past”- The book series detail the story of Caroline Peatree Gibbs a confused, mean and downright sassy woman who finds herself caught in a love triangle with her dying husband, a flame from college and a new business suitor that has an eye for her. Lexcee’s four-books entitled, The Caroline Peatree Gibbs Series were full of action, suspense and chock full of drama and revenge!. I read ALL four books and can’t wait for BOOK 5 (In which I would like to do a FULL review!). Once I finished one book, I was trying my best not to read the next one –but I foiled, that’s just how good they were, I couldn’t put them down and you won’t either. If you’re looking for a FEW good reads, check her out. You won’t be disappointed!

During this much needed time of rest and relaxation, my sister bought me a piece of lemon meringue pie from the hospital in which my brother in law works. This hospital has the best lemon meringue pie ever!! Now, there’s a back story to this pie. When my mom was in the hospital back in 2016 –outside of seeing her beautiful face, I always looked forward to going to the cafeteria and getting me a piece of lemon meringue pie. It was a sweet indulgence I looked forward too. It somehow took my mind off of seeing my mother in pain and hearing all the negative doctor reports we received daily in regards to her declining health.

When my mother passed away that year, so did that lemon meringue pie. They stopped serving it. So, when my sister stated that she was stopping by there on New Year’s Day to visit her husband and asked if I wanted anything, I quickly said no.

When my sister got home, I was lazily slouched within the cushions of her couch with covers over me, she came in excited and said “Guess what, you’ll NEVER guess what I got” – her Styrofoam container smelled of some good hot fish, so I didn’t even attempt to guess. As she sat down swiftly on the coach, she began unraveling the bags and what she brought out next made me sit ALL THE WAY UP!

She looked at me and said, remember this?

Lemon Meringue Pie!!! –To be honest, I almost cried and I know that sounds super silly over a piece of pie but it had been 3 years since I had a piece and for some odd reason, when I saw that pie? A really good and positive feeling fell over me as if to indicate, this was going to be an EPIC 2020 Year! I just looked up and gave my mom a little wink…

So, no resolutions – no wishes for 2020, just a lot of God and a little lemony, sweet and tart meringue pie leading the way and guess what ——— I’m all game…

Cheers and Best Wishes to a Fantastic Year Ahead!

Did you have an epiphany or a little something that spurred your 2020? Share in the comments

December’s Going Already?? & Safety Is The KEYYYYYYYWORD…

Hey, Peeps – What’s Up!

OMGosh!OMGosh!OMGosh!

Can you believe it’s December already?, can you believe next Wednesday is CHRISTMAS??!!! Okay, so I really don’t like how 2019 came in here as quick as the wind and about to leave us like THE FLASH!!

Image Credit: The Flash/CW

Like THIS. YEAR. DIDN’T. COME. TO. PLAY!!! (yes, that’s me doing a clap back) and even in these last few days/week, we have left it’s apparently not showing any signs of taking a pause. (Sigh, I digress) I will say however, I need it to SLOWWWW all the way down, the faster the years come the OLDER I’m getting…….sigh again…..Can someone please give 2020 a call and ask that it slow its roll? I feel like I can’t really ENJOY an age because before I know it, I’m about to turn another one! In the words of my favorite cartoon character…

Image Credit: Bing/Charlie Brown

So, do you have any plans for the “rushed” holiday season? I’m sorry, I know I seem a little salty about this whole year rush thing, but it is what it is and we might as well enjoy it, right? It could be so much worse, gotta be grateful no matter what (that’s me talking positively to rinse the salt out my mouth =)

While my emotions take a chill on ice, I have to say, I LOVE CHRISTMAS! now if the year wants to give us a blessing? It can make it be Christmas all year round, with good weather that is. It’s just something about this time of year that makes me feel giddy. Everyone’s so nice and caring, it brings me to a song by one of my favorite gospel artists. Grammy, Stellar and Dove award winner, Fred Hammond. He’s one of my favorite gospel artists, however, he has a Christmas CD entitled “Christmas, Just Remember” it was released in 2001 so it’s a little old but it’s definitely a goodie. My favorite song on the album is ‘Christmas Everyday’ – here’s a snippet of some of the lyrics…

‘I wish that Christmas would be every day
Let it go on and on, and on, and on, and on
Why does this feeling have to go away?
If it were up to me, the season would never change
It would always stay the same, the same, the same

Why can’t we show each other the same love?
The same, the same good love, real love
To me, once a year is really not enough’

The lyrics are so powerful and so very me of how I feel about the holiday season, it’s one of my all-time favorite songs (outside of Nat King Cole‘s “The Christmas Song“) however, I’m sure after you listen to Fred’s mellow, laid-back tune of Christmas gracing us every day, it’ll become one of your Christmas playlist songs as well. So while you’re cooking, reminiscing and spending time with family during the holidays, let this song draw you all closer together in love, unity, and peace.

🎵🎶🎵🎶 Christmas Everyday by Fred Hammond 🎵🎶🎵🎶

Fred Hammond – Christmas Everyday

Well, while Christmas can bring on the “good feels” – it can also bring on “fear” for some reason people choose this time of year to bring the negativity to an all-time high! It’s already bad that this time of year seems to bring on more death-related incidents than any other month in the year and if that’s not scary enough, there are countless videos of people getting scammed and kidnapped. I think I’ve received more DM’s from friends as well as family members passing on information about sex and human trafficking schemes. They detail things to watch out for and unfortunately people (women and children mainly) who’ve found themselves in the snares of such chaos.

Sometimes I feel like going home, locking all my doors and staying there until I turn 100! However, the bible tells us “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind.” (2 Tim 1:7) While going into hibernation for the rest of my life sounds pretty tempting, I have to understand that I serve a God who’s in control and while I may not understand a lot of things, my faith’s in God and I know he didn’t call any of us to go into hiding but live the lives he created us to live. This includes praying and asking for guidance as well as discernment. The key to asking for this is that we actually have to listen when he tugs at us to not go a certain place or do a certain thing, which takes a lot of practice.

There are so many things going on and I couldn’t put up “every” video I received but I saw this one by Karolyne Roberts a couple of weeks ago, in which I thought hit the hammer on the nail in regards to all the scams out there. When I saw the video, I knew I’d be a great vid to share in my end of the year post (which is this one! 😁)

Karoline Roberts – YouTube

Karolyne shares pretty much all the stories I’ve heard and gives a warning as well as a word of encouragement to everyone who plans to go out shopping and etc this holiday season. I mean we need to be watchful no matter what, that’s a guarantee! The latest one I just heard last week was about a man at a gas station who asked a woman pumping gas if she was in need of painting services, she said no so he offered her supposedly his business card.

When the woman got into her car and drove off, she noticed that this man had gotten into a car with another man and followed her, by this time she became alarmed. She noticed she began to feel woozy and delirious, she had enough strength to roll down the window, in the meantime, these men were on her trail. Come to find out, the card she took had some type of gas on it. She quickly pulled into the nearest house’s driveway and began honking her horn and screaming. The men that were following seen this and drove off…

So please, please, please be careful – watch yourself as well as your kids, mom, close girlfriends and etc because it’s the women that are being targeted in these attacks!

Let’s Look our for each other and the very special GIRLS/GALS in our lives!

Well, that’s it, Everybody! That’s all I have for now. Until next year, Lord willing. I pray your 2020 is FULL of great vision. May 2020 bring extremely sweet things to you and yours!