Learning to Be ME

by Amy R Temple

As anyone of you who may have read my previous post about living with a learning disability may recall, I have had to deal with numerous discriminatory situations as well as being rejected; simply because I didn’t “fit” the status quo.

And please don’t ask me what “status quo” is because I have no idea and even if I did, I would totally ignore it!

Anyone who knows me would tell you (my parents, especially) that I don’t like being told what to do, I just hate rules! But let’s back up a sec, I’m not saying that I will purposely go do something completely stupid and get myself arrested, Of course not. Although I have been tempted to strike someone for looking down on me for not meeting this ridiculous status quo!

It all began when I was little…

Whenever my parents would take me to this one particular pediatrician, I would be fine…until he walked in. And then I would begin to cry. Let me rephrase that…I would wail!

After a while, he asked my parents, “Have you ever considered the possibility that Amy may not be educable?” Yeah… no, I very seriously doubt that EVER crossed my Mom and Dad’s mind. Needless to say, calling me stupid didn’t win the man any brownie points. Then there was the psychologist who was going to base my intelligence on whether or not, I knew what a frankfurter was. “Did you know that Amy doesn’t know what a frankfurter is?”

“That’s because we have always called them hot dogs”, my mom said. “Oh… good point.”

Again, no brownie points were scored. To make a very long story short, what they were trying to indicate was that I was going to be in a nutshell…..pretty much, a waste. According to them, I wasnt going to amount to absolutely nothing!

“Amy will not be able to be independent.”

“Amy will always need help taking care of herself.”

“Amy will have a tendency to get lost”.

Have any of you seen the movie, “Top Gun”?

Remember the scene where Val Kilmer coughs the phrase “Bull—-”?

Mom, Dad and I have made the facial equivalent numerous times! I honestly could not have asked for a better set of parents. Other people may have given up on me, but they haven’t and won’t let me do it either. And I will always be grateful to them.

image credit: pexels

I was diagnosed 36 years ago. I have dealt with these disabilities for over half my life. It’s who I am. It’s me and if someone created an operation where you could rid me of them…

Offer it to somebody else!

What is the big hairy deal about having learning disabilities? It’s not like it’s contagious or anything! How can they think that we are not going to amount to anything because we don’t fit their ridiculous notions? They wouldn’t hire me because of them?

Fine…

I started my own dog care business nearly 13 years ago where my main focus is on walking, feeding and playing. And that just gives me more time to write. Now I may sound as if I have all my ducks in a row and yes, that is true. But that doesn’t mean, I haven’t been affected by it. I am ashamed to admit that I wasted a lot of years wondering what was wrong with me and I tried to change myself to fit other people’s approval and acceptance. I thought, what is wrong with me?

I am ashamed to admit that I wasted a lot of years wondering what was wrong with me and I tried to change myself to fit other people’s approval and acceptance. I thought, what is wrong with me? What was it about me that made them think they could do this to me? I can’t do anything about the learning disabilities, but I thought if I could change this or that, maybe I would be accepted.

image credit: pexels

I royally messed with myself mentally and emotionally for years. I don’t know how many self-help books I read, trying to find THE cure. As much as I think it stinks that I am rejected because of my learning disabilities, there is nothing I can do about it but just move on with my life. I don’t have any more time to waste. 

Accept me or don’t. It’s your call.

Me? I’ve got a life to live. So, excuse me while I go live it. 

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Amy is a resident of Florida.  Since 2006, she has been self-employed in the dog care field.  In May 2017, she self-published a memoir titled “I Am Not Stupid” which is available through Amazon.  She writes for seethegoodinfo, an inspirational website and the Learning Disabilities Association’s newsletter LD Source.

Amy is a resident of Florida.  Since 2006, she has been self-employed in the dog care field.  In May 2017, she self-published a memoir titled “I Am Not Stupid” which is available through Amazon.  She writes for seethegoodinfo, an inspirational website and the Learning Disabilities Association’s newsletter LD Source.

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Don’t Get Stuck, Pass the BUCK!

 So here we are, it’s 2019 and what do we do – where do we start – what new adventures will await us this year, what new experiences, what heartaches. Will we accomplish the ever so popular “New Year’s Resolution” we set forth every year, this year?  Well, I don’t know about you – but I tend to not “stick” to the ever to faithful resolution, it’s out the window before February can say, Hi Beautiful!

Yes, Yes – It’s very true and while I can’t promise that I’d squash the goal of losing weight this year as I do every year (although I’m going to put forth a mighty good effort). There’s one thing over the holiday season that I did promise myself that I would do more of this year and that’s “passing the buck” or the load as you can say. It’s funny However, there’s one thing that I know I will be doing more of this year and that’s passing the BUCK!

This is one of those lessons that I should’ve actually learned a long, long, long time ago but I didn’t….some lessons come by “the hard way” That’s what my mom used to tell me growing up, she’d say “Sometimes, you have to learn the hard way” I never knew what she truly meant by those words, however; being an adult now and as I look back that’s how most of my “life lessons” were learned.  THE HARD WAY..

(Image Credit – Pexels)

I have a tendency of taking on too much and that’s too much of anything. Whether it’s something to do at work, church, the kids and so forth – for some reason I become superwoman and viola! I take it on and get it do!nn@nnn$eeenn*n…..??? Yes, I really did mean to type “done” that way, because that’s how my brain functions once I take on too many assignments, it gets a little crazy. Another thing I do, which goes in line with what I’m talking about here is “obligate” myself to toooooooooo many things. I say YES before I can give myself time to think it through and then find myself complaining in the midst of it as I’m swearing up and down that I am NEVER!! going to do it again….

Finally, one day I had to ask myself “Why do you do this?” and “Who are you doing this for?” is it to get people to like you or are you trying to network and make connections – because sometimes we do things out of the ordinary for those causes too. When I couldn’t come up with an appropriate answer for my madness. I finally started evaluating the reasons why I was doing what I was doing and I came to two conclusions:

  • 1) I wanted to be liked and wanted people to feel as though they could count on me to do anything, even if I suffered at my own expense.
  • 2) Having a lot of things going on made me feel as though I was really doing something good with my life.

Whew!! That Felt Good Letting Go….

Coming into this year, well months before this year. I decided that enough was enough and started either saying NO to things I know I can’t balance or and this may sound selfish to some of you – Building my own business and spending more time on “MY” projects. Are you a victim of not passing the buck? Well, listed below are a couple of tips to help you out!

(Image Credit: Pexels)

Evaluate Your “Already” Spoken for TIME!

What do you have going on right now, that’s basically what this is saying. Before you commit to something – take a day and think about all the things you have going on in a day or a week and the times set aside to do those things.

Are you a Good Manager?

This sort of goes along with #1 but honestly ask yourself – are you focused and on top of the projects you’re already doing now? If you’re struggling with keeping up with your own things, then it’s probably not a good idea to take on someone else’s project or add more to your already dwindling list of things to do.

Please, Don’t Feel Bad….You Betta Not!

You know and I’m going to be transparent here, most times people think if they take on the world so to speak…it makes them look busy, it makes feel important and makes them look credible or reliable to others and the lie detector test determined that’s a lie! But hey, I used to be that girl too. Whether in church, on my job or favors for close friends, I always took on more than I could chew. While I felt important my body was saying otherwise…

Do you Care about Your Health?

Okay, picking up from the last tip….my stress level and blood pressure was through the roof! I knew I had taken on too much but I was too ashamed to say it or give it back because I felt as though it would not make me look credible. There’s a saying that says “If you die today, someone else will do your job tomorrow” and that’s the truth, most of the time before your body even gets cold; they already looking for someone else to fulfill the job….sad huh.

So, what I’m trying to say is – If you don’t have to do it, DON’T! If you have to much on your plate already? Just pass the Buck! This is a new year, sometimes we can spend so much time on other people’s projects (unless it’s a part of your business) until we forget our own. We become focused on stressing out over someone else’s dream, while ours is hanging out in the background.

Don’t let keeping the buck, affect your attitude, health or overall goals because this is your year to not get stuck, but to PASS THE BUCK!

Will you or Have you passed yours??

Thoughts: Is Halloween Reallyyyyyy, The Devil’s Birthday?

I recently glanced over a post (linked below) that asked a similar question, it got me to thinking – so I decided to write my thoughts about it…

So, I just have to say before I start this post that if you have a different opinion, while it’s appreciated because we all have one, right? But if yours is STRONGLY opinionated to the point of arguing (because I’m a lover, not a fighter = ) then please – STOP HERE and don’t go any further…

But, for everyone else who just want to read something today – let’s forge ahead….shall we? Okay, so I’m just going to put it out there – I’ve been told ALLLLLLLLL my little life that Halloween was the devils night and we should all stay in the house on that day. I was told that the devil uses that day to disguise himself as well as his counterparts because everyone’s in costumes so you’ll never know if it’s really a child or something else lurking behind it.

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This made me scared and if I can be honest, put a bad complex over me and the holiday altogether. Does the devil really have a birthday??? Like Jesus does??? I guess because Halloween has been linked to everything “evil” that was the most common day that seemed like it would be well-fitting for such an evil person.

Related Post: 3 Reasons Why Halloween Is Not Satan’s Birthday and Never Will Be

However; I don’t think that Halloween is the devil’s birthday – just as I don’t think Christmas is Jesus’ birthday (I know I just got nailed to every cross imaginable, for that statement) but I don’t. I know the bible makes references to the night he was born and the many things that happened but there’s no real (or at least I haven’t seen it) conclusion as to when Jesus was born and if I can be honest, I really don’t care to know – the only thing I know is that I LOVE HIM and appreciate him. We honor him every day when we give thanks for the things he has done, the things he has brought us thru and the things that we know, that we know, that we know should have happened to us but by his mercy and grace – we’re still here (can I get an amen for that?!)

If Halloween was really the devil’s birthday, then why do Christians still celebrate the day by doing trunk or treat or little parties and etc. I mean, that’s still a celebration for the day, right? I say, people believe what they want to believe and if you have kids then let them enjoy the day, trust me as they get older – they’ll form their own opinion about what they really think and not because of something, someone forced them to believe.

As a Christian, I’m not much into any holidays really – especially my birthday but that’s another post discussion. But I do have kids and they desire to hang with friends and do fun things on that night just as anyone else and I let them. In the past, we’ve watched scary movies, ate cupcakes and had pizza on that night.

Related Post: 5 Spooky/Thriller Movies You Must See Before Halloween Ends

Do I believe spirits are real? yes, I do…

Do I believe they only come out on Halloween? No, I don’t…

We live in a world full of spirits – Good as well as Bad ones

The question we should ask ourselves is “WHICH ones we’re entertaining the most”

So, this was just my two cents – which probably doesn’t matter much but anywho, I hope you have a GREAT Halloween, whether you believe in it or not. Whatever you decide to do on this day, just make it fun and not “intentionally” scary or bad on purpose. Holidays are what you make them out to be….whether you’re a Christian or not.

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