Your Body Is Here BUT Your Mind Is Somewhere Else!

Featured Picture Courtesy of The Pursuit of Mindfulness

Have you ever heard that statement before? As sure as we live and breathe I’m sure we’ve ALL heard it or unfortunately have been there and done it ourselves!

I’ve often found myself in meetings or even talking with someone and have been somewhere else. The mind is a tricky thing and a terrible thing to waste as per the UNCF (United Negro College Fund). And it’s true! The mind is indeed a terrible thing to waste but while the UNCF was referring to an education, I’m particularly talking about the mind and it’s capability of filling up with SO many ideas, schedules, goals, relationships, what someone said and how you’d wished you had said this instead; all the way to what you want to eat later that day or even two days from now – type of stuff.

The “stuff” that keeps us from being “present and available” at the moment. We miss most great moments because our mind wants to take us on a vacay of “what to do next or after” and it’s bout time to put it to rest – just for a little while.

Do you find yourself being “unavailable” due to your mind traveling west when you’re trying to go east? Here’s a couple of tips to put the mind at ease so you can focus a little clearer, literally.

#1. Cut Down That List – Like NOW!

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Listen, there are only 24 hours in a day and if you put EVERYTHING you have to get done on that crazy “to-do” list. You’ll be extremely exhausted, I mean you probably already are, right? If we allow our minds to do it, it’ll make us think that everything in the world is important and has to be done right now and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s okay to schedule that oven cleaning to Thursday, it’s not like it’s going anywhere and you DON’T have to do it today.

Try to figure out what’s truly a priority vs. non priority…..what’s really important vs. not important today. Spread out the work and give yourself something to do everyday instead of all in one day!

#2. Schedule “Me” Time

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I’m bad at this tip but it’s so needed. Have you ever scheduled “me time” on your to-do list? My mom would always tell us that Mondays were her “me days” – that meant, no calls and no coming over during a specific time frame on Mondays. She valued her alone times and while I didn’t always understand it because I was being the energizer bunny. Now that she’s gone, I totally get it. You need that time away from other people’s voices and faces, it truly makes you appreciate seeing them when you do. Now what she did during that time, I have no idea but “me time” is whatever you want to do without doing work or even thinking about the things you need to do. It’s a little moment to be selfish and only think about you!

#3. Put It “ALL” Away & Focus!

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This one is going to take a little practice, however, remember when I said earlier that my body would be in meetings and my mind would be elsewhere? unfortunately this also happens with my children! They’d be talking to me and I’d be thinking about work, church, getting back to someone, email and etc. Not really focusing on their dilemma – in which to them, everything’s a dilemma!

Now, don’t get me wrong, tuning them out is sometimes therapy for me but when it comes to a failing grade or them having concerns in regards to a friend or teacher or themselves, those things need my undivided attention. So when cases like this happen, I’ve learned to put my phone away, sit with them and totally give them eye-to-eye attention. This way, I can provide feedback if necessary and it gives me insight as to what’s going on with them. We can easily miss serious moments when we allow our minds to time travel. Realize where you are and tell your mind that you’re going to focus on the matter at hand because, in reality, we can train our minds to do whatever we want it to do.

#4. You Need A Sleep Schedule

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This definitely may sound crazy but you really do need to “schedule sleep” – if you don’t, you won’t get it and while your mind is on the go the body will shut completely down! Ever been restless at night because your mind was wondering about things you should be thinking about in the morning? I’ve been here too, more often than I’d like to admit. Most times I get up and work and others I just lay there and talk to God or just look…lol.

If you find your mind wrestling with you while you’re trying to go to sleep, try drinking some hot chamomile tea or sleepy time tea before bed (decaf of course). I also like listening to peaceful sounds such as thunder (I know this is not so peaceful but it’s calming for me). I love listening to rain sounds or ABIDE – which has sleep meditations for the nighttime. It’s also wise to put your phone on silent, so you won’t awake to every notification known to man. 30 min before bedtime, get these things in order so by sleep time – you’ll be all set to ZzZzzzzZZ.

All of these tips will not only help you be more present but more focused on what’s really important. Train that mind and don’t allow it to train you, remember YOU have control over it and not it over you.

Sanity is everything! & So is Being in the Moment! – Life’s too short not too.

Make Time For Who?….YOU!! – Simple Self-Care Tips For The Busy Person In Us All.

Feature Image: Bing/Huffpost UK


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I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard the statement above quite a plenty in my life time. So, what do people mean when they say “Take Care of Yourself” it’s literally a statement that seems to be said more than it’s done because in reality, How many of us really do it?

Which brings me to my next question: “How does one really take care of themselves?”

Most people tend to think Self-Care is all about the loofah’s and the lotions and going on some expensive spa date with the girls or guys and don’t get me wrong, that’s a part of it – but it’s not the WHOLE cake of the matter, if you can see that analogy. It’s just the icing; the outer part but it doesn’t begin to touch the core of what self-care really is.

I love this statement/quote – in which pretty much sums it up.

Self-Care is not Selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.

Eleanor Brownn with 2 N’s – eleanorbrownn.com

We’re ALLLL busy, I mean every single one of us. If we’re not engulfed in our careers, thinking about how to make money, raising a family together or alone, taking care of an ill parent, parents or child, trying to be a good friend or trying to fit in with the “in” crowd, managing our own health (if we don’t overlook it trying to make sure someone else manages theirs…been there?) or just catering to everyone else’s need except our own…..self-care can be pushed to the back burner when it comes to our own sanity.

Sometimes after giving so much of ourselves to others, there’s literally only one thing left for us and that’s “THE BED!” because we’re too burned out to do anything else. I get it, life gets busy and when it does, it seems to never stop. However, if you don’t take control of LIFE…? I’m sure you can finish that sentence, right?…

The tips below are not new or rocket science, but they are tips that I use to take command over life, even if it’s just for 5 min. Maybe they’ll be able to help you too OR get you back on track to taking care of the person that matters the most and that’s YOU! (And No, that’s not selfish to say)

Self-Care involves:

The Mind


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You’ve heard the saying “A MIND is a terrible thing to waste” and it’s true, especially when it comes to self-care. It’s amazing how we exhaust our mental capacity on things that ruin our day or mood. It doesn’t help the case either when we consistently think about it or go to sleep with it on our minds. The older I’ve gotten I realized that I have to protect my energy and my mind when it comes to negative thoughts, negative images, negative news and NEGATIVE PEOPLE! (see how I bolded that last statement). We have to choose our battles wisely…even the more when it comes to our mental health.

MIND Suggestions:

  • Turn off the news (it’s always negative) and I’ve determined that watching too much of it, ruins my mood and effect my sleep pattern.
  • Have you heard of Luminosity? I love this game, it’s a fit game for you mind. It has a lot of little puzzles that challenge your cognitive thinking, it’s a mindless activity that gets my mind off of other things.
  • A cross word puzzle, puzzle or other word games are good to play to keep your mind sharp.
  • Last but certainly not least, meditation music or just taking 5 min, even if it’s after work in your car. Tends to work wonders for your mental sanity.

The Body


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Our body is the first thing that feels the effects of any stress that we may endure or have going on. It’s a shame that we neglect it often and push it past it’s limits just to do the things “we” deem as necessary. My mom used to always say “You don’t ever want your body to become your enemy” and boy was she right. It can turn on you at any second, in which is why it’s a good thing to take care of it, after-all; we only get one of them.

BODY Suggestions:

  • Plan a walk. I tend to be more motivated when I have people that are willing to do this with me, but taking a walk is always a good destresser.
  • A little sun doesn’t hurt – as an African American woman I’ve been told by doctors that we don’t get enough sun, in which is why we have to take high dosages of Vitamin D. But a little sun in your face or down your back is good, if you can stand it =)
  • Massages are LIFE! – I always tell people, if I get a little extra or if God sees fit for me to get a little money….I would personally hire a masseuse! Massages are great for your body and relieves stress, it’s also good for the mind too.
  • Oh and eating healthy is always a good choice for your body!

The Soul


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Your soul is very, very important. It’s good to be able to connect with a higher power. Whether you believe in God or not – spiritual renewal, prayer, meditation, reading scriptures or listening to a good inspirational or motivational sermon, teaching or talk always brings balance to your inner core, which most times is the beginning of everything. If we can get our soul in order, it tends to make everything else come to order as well. I like to spend time with God, reading scripture or just listening to meditation music or gospel songs, this tends to mend me back together on the inside and reflects positively on the outside.

SOUL Suggestions:

  • Donate to your favorite charity, it’s nothing like being able to give back instead of always take.
  • Watch the clouds – Yes, you read that right. It’s something about looking up at the clouds that’s so spiritual and good to me. I have a favorite spot at my job that I go and do this on my lunch break or just getting up from my seat to go take a break. It’s the first place I go, it helps to do this because we’re high up. I just stand there and look and most times I’m talking to God. It’s a small thing, but I find such peace and tranquility just looking out that window and looking up.
  • Ever eat or drink alone? – Going places alone to some people may seem a bit daunting, but it’s actually good. It’s just you and you alone with your thoughts and plans. This gives you time to think about what your goals are, what goals you’ve met and what you need to achieve. And you can’t always do that when people are constantly talking or needing your “undivided” attention.

So, there you have it! As stated these are simple suggestions that you can do or start practicing today. Life, as crazy as it is will have us rushing, ripping and running to get somewhere and it will keep this cycle up as long as we allow it. Learn to discipline yourself long enough to take a breather. Don’t rush home from work every day, maybe sit in the car turn on some music and eat that leftover sandwich from lunch (literally just did this the other day). Just let your mind, body and soul relax.

Now, say it with me “Who’s your most favorite person in the world?” Don’t be shy, I know you want to say it and just in case you forgot? IT’S YOU BOO!! So, go and really “TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF!” because 30 min or an hour A Day? Keeps the Insanity at Bay!

Do you have any Self-Care tips that you do to stay balanced? Share them Below.

The Proper Way to Handle these Pimples

the photo above and below courtesy of bing and pexels

Okay, Okay – I know what you’re thinking. No, this is not Health Class 101 but I thought I would bring up the subject because I’m in my late thirties and have acne prone skin, in which I honestly thought was going to go away when I turned 20 – but sheesh here I am about to hit a century-year-old and I still get occasional pimples and besides – I have a teen and a pre-teen whose bodies are changing like the unpredictable weather we’re having, so in order to keep them from going through the horrors of having a spot-filled face like I did when I was in school, I thought I would write this post to not only help us, adults, but our kids too, so let’s go back to the good ole days…my teen years.

When I was growing up and going through puberty, I had no idea at the time how important acne really was, I knew I would get embarrassed when; out of nowhere, an ugly pimple would pop up and seem to ruin my life. I always thought that when you got a pimple it was okay to pop it, because then it wouldn’t look so bad; but what I ended up getting was a face full of dark spots that took forever to go away; in which made me want to say “SAYONARA” to the rest of my school years.

As I grew older and got wiser on how to handle my acne prone skin, it was a little too late as I felt I had already messed up my “good face” due to my lack of knowledge. But as life would have it, all that knowledge didn’t go to waste as I now have a daughter who’s in high school and experiencing the same issues as I did when I was her age.  While my ‘puberty’ years were not the best for me, I can now make her school years her best years.

Maybe you have a daughter, son, niece, nephew or friend whom may be dealing with the embarrassment of pimples. Listed below are a few simple things that I’ve learned from my own experience that hopefully will lead to a ‘good’ experience for everyone. I even have a picture below of the facial washes I’m using right now to keep my acne prone skin under control.

Clean, Clean, Clean

The best gift you can give your face every day is to keep it clean, it’s a good practice during puberty and beyond to wash your face day and night. This keeps germs at bay and allows all the dirt and/or make-up accumulated from the day to be cleaned off using a light or sensitive skin cleanser. It’s also good practice to wash your hands after you eat or do any other activity that may cause you to get your hands dirty If you’re like me – I have a bad habit of always touching my face, not giving thought to the fact that I had just touched something else.

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Astringents too Harmful? Try this…

I used to love astringents and thought they were the best thing; according to the teen models on the television when I was a teen, but what I came to realize is that astringent is not for every face type and because it contains mostly alcohol, it dried out my face. So I made the switch to witch hazel, it doesn’t contain alcohol and gets the job done without harmful side effects. Neutrogena also has an alcohol free toner in which is great as well.

live strong

When it’s Time for the big POP!

“Don’t use your Fingers!” Most of the germs we accumulate throughout the day are on our hands and under our fingernails. If you pop a pimple then you’re not only getting those germs on your face but will cause dark spots to form later on. So, instead of your fingers, put a little witch hazel on a cotton ball and pop it. This keeps your fingers from touching your face and reduces the risk of unwanted spots.

pimples

Food, Exercise, and Water

Eating right is a major part of our everyday living and while fried, greasy or salty foods are okay sometimes; it’s can be harmful to our bodies, especially our face. As much as possible, opt for healthier choices such as veggies, fruit, and whole grains. Drink plenty of water and stay away from sugary beverages as sugar is a breeding ground for your pores and exercise. If you give your body the right tools; it will definitely do right by you.

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When all else Fails, See the Dermatologist.

Sometimes you could be doing all the right things and still get out of control acne, that’s when it’s time to see the Dermatologist; they have a way of determining what’s going on and can prescribe you the correct dosage of medication that can help aid in you having the best skin while puberty is moving in. I have to say, this year was my first time seeing a Dermatologist ever and it was a great experience. Seeing a Dermatologist is not just for pimples but if you have moles a.k.a skin tags on your body, you might want to make an appt, just to make sure those skin tags are good and not something serious.

Dermatologist-acne-scars

Here are my two staples in which I love – I use the wash in the morning and the wipes at night before I go to bed. I love the exfoliating beads in the wash as it makes sure that all traces of dirt, makeup and etc are washed away and their not harsh either, which is another reason why I love this duo. Now I know they’re not your name brand, but they do just as good a job as those expensive brands. However, while this set works for me, it may not work for you, so find ones that work for your necessary skin issues.

My Staples

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EnSpired: MOM, To The Rescue!

photo above courtesy of boredpanda

When Rhonda Whitney attended the talent show at her daughter’s school, I’m sure her hopes and intentions were to film her daughter performing and while she probably did – the next talent to come to the stage; made her unexpected video, go VIRAL!

That viral sensation was Makayla Ferrell, whom was also in the talent show; but, it’s not what Makayla song that went viral, but the person that came on stage to help her belt out the lyrics to Andra Day‘s “Rise Up” that got tears to flowing and a standing ovation.

When Makayla’s voice began to fade as she began to stumble over the song lyrics, there came a familiar voice from the crowd to help Makayla out; it was the voice of her mom, Shaye Washington! but Washington didn’t just stop there, seeing her daughter in distress; she immediately rose up and continued to sing as she made her way from the audience to the stage, helping her finish the song.

Talent shows are scary and mind-boggling as it is and it takes tremendous courage to get up in front of an audience and endure the stares from teachers, parents and your peers, all of whom are now focused on you and your every word. Shaye Washington sensed her daughter was going into a panic and therefore; put on her mom cape and sprung into action.

“I saw her struggling and getting ready to get frustrated so I just immediately stepped in. From where I was standing it looked like my child was asking for help, but just not verbally” – Shaye Washington

The heroic move of the mom, brought tears to Rhonda Whitney’s eyes – she was so moved by Washington’s actions, she went home and posted the video to her FB page.

Rhonda Whitley

Washington, whom didn’t see the post until the following day – Awoke to a surprise on her own FB page.

Shaye Washington

Since Rhonda’s posting – the video has not only went viral but has received over 100k shares and has been liked, loved and wowed over 200,000 times!! You can view the video below but I must warn you – you’re gonna want to grab the tissues.

In Lieu of mothers day week/weekend, may we all go and embrace the women that were our first role models – Thanks Shaye for being one of those amazing SHE-RO’S!

Video Source: Facebook/Rhonda Whitney

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

 

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