Sunday’s Thought: When You Give More, Receive Less & Pout About It!

The pictures above and below courtesy of pexels and bing

Did I tell you that last week I woke up in the middle of the night, crying my eyeballs out! I was so emotional and for some reason or another, that week just seemed to be a rollercoaster ride of them all because I was feeling some type a way about something that I honestly couldn’t control – ever been there??

Going to work the following day, no one would’ve even guessed or imagined that I had that bout of sadness, I guess it’s because I’m so used to trying to be the smile or the light for others to see – but what happens when I need a smile or a light and no one’s there to give it back to me – What happens when I, HOLD UP – let me capitalize it “EXPECT” people to do things for me because I loyal in doing something for them; is it wrong for me to expect that same loyalty back in return? What happens when I don’t get it?

Have u ever went above and beyond to do good for someone, but found yourself not getting that same dedication back in return?

Let me just say, I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit and I found myself literally having a pity party over it – I wanted people to put the same heart, time and effort into doing for me, as I did for them. However; my hopes, dreams, and fantasies of wanting this to be so, was NOT so!

alone-basket-blur-208087

There’s a scripture in the bible that says “”Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.”  Matthew 7:12 (NLT). I can’t tell you how long I’ve misunderstood this verse, because in my mind – I was doing for others with the anticipation that they would and should ((let me be transparent and honest here)) do to ME! I mean, look at what I was doing or had done for them.

But, God gave me a revelation of that scripture in my “pouty” breakdown that night and it goes like this: Do for others, the way you yourself would like to be treated and handled; be the light! That’s how you must conduct your business when it comes to someone else, does that make sense? It’s not about what people can do for you in return because of what you did for them; it’s more about “how” you would like to overall see people treated because in doing so, we’re actually displaying Gods love in which was a FREE for all who wanted it.

I mean, look at it this way…..

Jesus had 12 disciples who were supposed to have his back, right? Just because they were walking with someone who was perfect, didn’t mean that they were. They all let Jesus down “BIG” time!! Peter loved him and denied him, so much so he went into a cursing fit. Judas betrayed him and felt bad later, so much so – he hung himself. Matthew was a cheater and no telling what hurts, habits and hang-ups the others had (you know everything wasn’t written in scripture) and you know the saddest thing of it all??- when Jesus needed them the most they slept on him.  Here he was in the garden of Gethsemane balling his eyes out and sweating up a storm because he knew he was about to die. I can only imagine the pain he must’ve been feeling at that time – the agony, the factor of just wanting someone to comfort him and no one was available, even after all the things he had done, the people he had helped and the miracles he had performed; in the end when he needed someone the most, no one was there but his heavenly father.

Does this remind you of some of the people you deal with today? Friends, Family, co-workers, acquaintances and so forth. So you might ask, well what does all of this mean? It means that everyone’s NOT going to be there for us or have our backs – if Jesus experienced it and got over it, so can WE!

My mother used to say “It’s not what they do to you – It’s what you do to THEM! – Greater is he that’s within us than he that’s within the world. 1 John 4:4. I don’t know if you’ve experienced any of this before but I just want you to know that even in my dreadful moments; God was there and he dried my tears away. I know it’s hard sometimes to think on the “positive” side when you’re feeling down – but when God brought to my mind what he had been through, with his own friends. It made me realize that I wasn’t alone.

christianity-cross-god-54333

I reached out to my friend and she shared a powerful message with me – Read it and use it to step over the pouting and crying hurdles in your life – Use it to help move you ahead and continue treating people the way “God” intends for us to treat them, no matter what and that’s with great, deep-seated, unjudging (((( LOVE )))) 

My Friend Shanae’s text message is below but first (a little backstory as to why I texted her) The pouty night I had was a result over the concerns I had with my new faith-based book “Billy Wolf and the Kids of Heavenly Hills Elementary” and how people weren’t responding as I thought they should’ve, people (a.k.a friends) that I thought would have my back and buy the book, didn’t. I also had concerns about the people that purchased the book, people whom I asked to leave a positive review after reading it but they didn’t leave a review at all, even to this day. Afterwhile, my emotions took over and I began to think that maybe I wrote a horrible book that people really hated but was too afraid to tell me!!!

Suddenly, the feel-good emotion I had with writing it became feelings of insecurity and regret, I began to doubt myself and wanted to pull the book from the shelf. So, I texted Shanae and asked: “Sis tell me the truth, Is my book bad??”  and this is what she wrote back: 

“Yes, I understand how frustrating that is. Especially when you think people are going to support in a certain way. I’ve learned that many people will get the book but never read it. Buying it is their way of supporting. And yes, its super difficult to get people to actually read it because that requires them to slow down and focus on something other than their own stuff. Don’t stress yourself out over the reviews or getting people to read it. God has blessed you with this work and those that are called to read and review will do it without the hassle. Try not to harbor any animosity toward them and stop asking. Forgive them if they never do it and move forward with your promo etc. Your book is great and those that read it will be blessed greatly.”

lets-not-grow-weary-of-doing-good-1-638

No matter what gift or dream you have. Don’t give up on it – Sometimes you’ll hear crickets before you hear an applause. Keep doing what you’re doing – IT REALLY IS GOOD! Take it from ME! – â¤ï¸

animation (5)

Advertisements

Parents, Let’s Not Be Weary – Shall We?

photo above courtesy of bing

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not”

This is the all so famous bible quote located in Galatians 6:9, this is also the scripture God brought to my mind one day when I deliberately told myself “I GIVE UP!!!” literally wanting to throw in the towel on parenting one day as I became frustrated with repeating the “same” thing over and over and over and over and over again, to my two children. I heard God speak so calmly in my spirit “Don’t be weary in well doing”

In a Hurry? You can listen to this post here

Like, Really God – You’re Punking Me Right?? How many times do I have to ask them to clean their rooms and wash the dishes and take out the trash and wash their clothes and to keep their mouths closed at school when they want to abruptly speak out of turn – because if I get one more note from the teacher, I’m going to SCREAM!

But on the later end of “Don’t be weary, is ——– you will reap, if you faint not! Well, something tells me I better reap something because this sista is on her last fuse…

A_frustrated_mom

As a parent you’ll have a rainbow face by the time your child reaches 18.

You’ll Have WHITE moments, RED moments,  BLUE moments, YELLOW moments and GREEN moments. You’ll also have ORANGE moments in which you’re confused and trying to figure out if you’re doing the right thing or not, you’ll question yourself many, many, many times. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll say things you don’t mean. You’ll become too overprotective and you’ll learn to let go when you need too. Letting Go, doesn’t mean you’re giving up on them, it just means you’re giving them room to grow, room to plant their own seeds based on the decisions “they chose” to make.

About a month or so ago, my teenage daughter made a decision that totally blew me away. After all the talking and grinding and trying to push her in the right direction from silly mishaps, I get a call from the principal stating “Ms. Blackmon, I need to talk to you – your daughter is suspended off the bus for three days because she was caught kissing a boy.” I was totally confused….are you talking about my daughter?, surely he dialed the wrong number..

gif-confused-on-phone

But NOPE! he really did mean to call me and YES, he was talking about my daughter – I have to say, I heard him talking but soon his voice became a murmur; sort of like those Charlie Brown episodes, because all I could see was black. When I got off the phone with him; I was sooooo hurt, I had to take a time-out and get myself together – being called on your job for something like that doesn’t make for a good rest of the day. As I left my desk, with tears flowing down my face – the only thing I could see was me wringing her neck, slapping her and locking her up to never come out of her room again….I MEAN NEVER! As my mind went back and forward about the fussing and cussing and beating I wanted to do to her (mind you, I do not curse – but I can’t say words weren’t’ coming to my mind during that time) I realized that I needed to talk to someone and not just anyone – I had to talk to her creator – God.

Luckily, I didn’t have to stay at work all day that day as I had a doctors appt. previously scheduled; so I was leaving early anyway…Thank God for small favors…

When I left my appointment, It was still early….the only thing I could think of was calling everyone and let them know what she had done, but before I could pick up the phone and make one call, I heard God’s voice say “Before you talk to anyone, Talk to me first.” So, wanting to be obedient, I went to Taco Bell – ordered something small to eat and sat down “Okay, God; I said…what do I do, how do I handle this. While I proceeded to eat my food and once I finished, God began to download things within me of how I should punish her and what she needed to do during the punishment; even the things that I needed to talk to her about.

After all, what I had to realize was that my daughter – while I birthed her; was not really “my” daughter, she’s God’s child whom is on loan to me. God entrusted me with her and therefore when it comes to the challenges of dealing with such circumstances, he’s the first person we should go to and seek in regards to their life – because, father knows best.

thinking-parent-copy-e1477240873872-1024x588

Tip 1: As parents, its our job to make sure we tell our children the truth with transparency; hey, if you got caught kissing a boy or making out with a girl in school, tell them that as well as what you learned from it and how the affects of such can lead to other unwanted things and/or actions. At the end of the day, when it comes to our children, it’s what we DID say as opposed to what we DIDN’T.

Tip 2: No matter how “good” our intentions are for our kids – giving them God’s word regarding certain issues such as sex, lying, bad behavior and so forth in their life is all we can do. While we don’t want them to suffer, experience or go down the same road we did – we have to realize that they’re going to do life the way they want, sometimes it’s not going to work until they experience it for themselves.

It’s just like if you keep telling a baby to not touch the stove because it’s hot, you can make all types of noises to distract that baby from going near that stove, but it’s something about curiosity that gets people in trouble. Soon, one day while you’re not around; that baby crawls over to the stove and touches it anyway….they cry in pain because you were right, the stove really was hot. Now, they know for themselves not to touch that object anymore because they have experienced the effects behind it, that’s why the word says “Warning before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Prov 16:18) 

So, to sum up the tips – We have to make sure we’re warning our children about everything – punish when needed, squeeze those hands tight in prayer and hope for the best.

The main thing is letting our children know that every bad decision, leads to a consequence. The bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he’s old, they won’t depart from it.” Prov 22:6.  Not to say they won’t stray, but the seeds you planted in them will begin to sprout at the right time when they need it the most. Parenting is no easy feat. but if we know whom to give them over too, we shouldn’t be weary because not only will we get valuable instructions, but if we stay the course – no matter how hard or trivial – the water of your words will water those seeds and produce a great harvest that’ll pay off greatly one day – my fingers and toes are crossed, but my hands are definitely closed tightly in prayer for that PAYOFF!

Cheers and Best Wishes to all parents whom are desperately waiting for that day as well! DON’T BE WEARY – YOU GOT THIS!!

graduation1
You Get My Drift!!! #PayDay!

 

Do you have teens or any parenting tips that has helped you? Leave them in the comment section below, you never know whom you may be helping. 

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager