Tag: Teens

photo above courtesy of bing

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not”

This is the all so famous bible quote located in Galatians 6:9, this is also the scripture God brought to my mind one day when I deliberately told myself “I GIVE UP!!!” literally wanting to throw in the towel on parenting one day as I became frustrated with repeating the “same” thing over and over and over and over and over again, to my two children. I heard God speak so calmly in my spirit “Don’t be weary in well doing”

In a Hurry? You can listen to this post here

Like, Really God – You’re Punking Me Right?? How many times do I have to ask them to clean their rooms and wash the dishes and take out the trash and wash their clothes and to keep their mouths closed at school when they want to abruptly speak out of turn – because if I get one more note from the teacher, I’m going to SCREAM!

But on the later end of “Don’t be weary, is ——– you will reap, if you faint not! Well, something tells me I better reap something because this sista is on her last fuse…

As a parent you’ll have a rainbow face by the time your child reaches 18.

You’ll Have WHITE moments, RED moments,  BLUE moments, YELLOW moments and GREEN moments. You’ll also have ORANGE moments in which you’re confused and trying to figure out if you’re doing the right thing or not, you’ll question yourself many, many, many times. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll say things you don’t mean. You’ll become too overprotective and you’ll learn to let go when you need too. Letting Go, doesn’t mean you’re giving up on them, it just means you’re giving them room to grow, room to plant their own seeds based on the decisions “they chose” to make.

About a month or so ago, my teenage daughter made a decision that totally blew me away. After all the talking and grinding and trying to push her in the right direction from silly mishaps, I get a call from the principal stating “Ms. Blackmon, I need to talk to you – your daughter is suspended off the bus for three days because she was caught kissing a boy.” I was totally confused….are you talking about my daughter?, surely he dialed the wrong number..

But NOPE! he really did mean to call me and YES, he was talking about my daughter – I have to say, I heard him talking but soon his voice became a murmur; sort of like those Charlie Brown episodes, because all I could see was black. When I got off the phone with him; I was sooooo hurt, I had to take a time-out and get myself together – being called on your job for something like that doesn’t make for a good rest of the day. As I left my desk, with tears flowing down my face – the only thing I could see was me wringing her neck, slapping her and locking her up to never come out of her room again….I MEAN NEVER! As my mind went back and forward about the fussing and cussing and beating I wanted to do to her (mind you, I do not curse – but I can’t say words weren’t’ coming to my mind during that time) I realized that I needed to talk to someone and not just anyone – I had to talk to her creator – God.

Luckily, I didn’t have to stay at work all day that day as I had a doctors appt. previously scheduled; so I was leaving early anyway…Thank God for small favors…

When I left my appointment, It was still early….the only thing I could think of was calling everyone and let them know what she had done, but before I could pick up the phone and make one call, I heard God’s voice say “Before you talk to anyone, Talk to me first.” So, wanting to be obedient, I went to Taco Bell – ordered something small to eat and sat down “Okay, God; I said…what do I do, how do I handle this. While I proceeded to eat my food and once I finished, God began to download things within me of how I should punish her and what she needed to do during the punishment; even the things that I needed to talk to her about.

After all, what I had to realize was that my daughter – while I birthed her; was not really “my” daughter, she’s God’s child whom is on loan to me. God entrusted me with her and therefore when it comes to the challenges of dealing with such circumstances, he’s the first person we should go to and seek in regards to their life – because, father knows best.

Tip 1: As parents, its our job to make sure we tell our children the truth with transparency; hey, if you got caught kissing a boy or making out with a girl in school, tell them that as well as what you learned from it and how the affects of such can lead to other unwanted things and/or actions. At the end of the day, when it comes to our children, it’s what we DID say as opposed to what we DIDN’T.

Tip 2: No matter how “good” our intentions are for our kids – giving them God’s word regarding certain issues such as sex, lying, bad behavior and so forth in their life is all we can do. While we don’t want them to suffer, experience or go down the same road we did – we have to realize that they’re going to do life the way they want, sometimes it’s not going to work until they experience it for themselves.

It’s just like if you keep telling a baby to not touch the stove because it’s hot, you can make all types of noises to distract that baby from going near that stove, but it’s something about curiosity that gets people in trouble. Soon, one day while you’re not around; that baby crawls over to the stove and touches it anyway….they cry in pain because you were right, the stove really was hot. Now, they know for themselves not to touch that object anymore because they have experienced the effects behind it, that’s why the word says “Warning before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Prov 16:18) 

So, to sum up the tips – We have to make sure we’re warning our children about everything – punish when needed, squeeze those hands tight in prayer and hope for the best.

The main thing is letting our children know that every bad decision, leads to a consequence. The bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he’s old, they won’t depart from it.” Prov 22:6.  Not to say they won’t stray, but the seeds you planted in them will begin to sprout at the right time when they need it the most. Parenting is no easy feat. but if we know whom to give them over too, we shouldn’t be weary because not only will we get valuable instructions, but if we stay the course – no matter how hard or trivial – the water of your words will water those seeds and produce a great harvest that’ll pay off greatly one day – my fingers and toes are crossed, but my hands are definitely closed tightly in prayer for that PAYOFF!

Cheers and Best Wishes to all parents whom are desperately waiting for that day as well! DON’T BE WEARY – YOU GOT THIS!!

 

Do you have teens or any parenting tips that has helped you? Leave them in the comment section below, you never know whom you may be helping. 

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager