Don’t Get Stuck, Pass the BUCK!

 So here we are, it’s 2019 and what do we do – where do we start – what new adventures will await us this year, what new experiences, what heartaches. Will we accomplish the ever so popular “New Year’s Resolution” we set forth every year, this year?  Well, I don’t know about you – but I tend to not “stick” to the ever to faithful resolution, it’s out the window before February can say, Hi Beautiful!

Yes, Yes – It’s very true and while I can’t promise that I’d squash the goal of losing weight this year as I do every year (although I’m going to put forth a mighty good effort). There’s one thing over the holiday season that I did promise myself that I would do more of this year and that’s “passing the buck” or the load as you can say. It’s funny However, there’s one thing that I know I will be doing more of this year and that’s passing the BUCK!

This is one of those lessons that I should’ve actually learned a long, long, long time ago but I didn’t….some lessons come by “the hard way” That’s what my mom used to tell me growing up, she’d say “Sometimes, you have to learn the hard way” I never knew what she truly meant by those words, however; being an adult now and as I look back that’s how most of my “life lessons” were learned.  THE HARD WAY..

(Image Credit – Pexels)

I have a tendency of taking on too much and that’s too much of anything. Whether it’s something to do at work, church, the kids and so forth – for some reason I become superwoman and viola! I take it on and get it do!nn@nnn$eeenn*n…..??? Yes, I really did mean to type “done” that way, because that’s how my brain functions once I take on too many assignments, it gets a little crazy. Another thing I do, which goes in line with what I’m talking about here is “obligate” myself to toooooooooo many things. I say YES before I can give myself time to think it through and then find myself complaining in the midst of it as I’m swearing up and down that I am NEVER!! going to do it again….

Finally, one day I had to ask myself “Why do you do this?” and “Who are you doing this for?” is it to get people to like you or are you trying to network and make connections – because sometimes we do things out of the ordinary for those causes too. When I couldn’t come up with an appropriate answer for my madness. I finally started evaluating the reasons why I was doing what I was doing and I came to two conclusions:

  • 1) I wanted to be liked and wanted people to feel as though they could count on me to do anything, even if I suffered at my own expense.
  • 2) Having a lot of things going on made me feel as though I was really doing something good with my life.

Whew!! That Felt Good Letting Go….

Coming into this year, well months before this year. I decided that enough was enough and started either saying NO to things I know I can’t balance or and this may sound selfish to some of you – Building my own business and spending more time on “MY” projects. Are you a victim of not passing the buck? Well, listed below are a couple of tips to help you out!

(Image Credit: Pexels)

Evaluate Your “Already” Spoken for TIME!

What do you have going on right now, that’s basically what this is saying. Before you commit to something – take a day and think about all the things you have going on in a day or a week and the times set aside to do those things.

Are you a Good Manager?

This sort of goes along with #1 but honestly ask yourself – are you focused and on top of the projects you’re already doing now? If you’re struggling with keeping up with your own things, then it’s probably not a good idea to take on someone else’s project or add more to your already dwindling list of things to do.

Please, Don’t Feel Bad….You Betta Not!

You know and I’m going to be transparent here, most times people think if they take on the world so to speak…it makes them look busy, it makes feel important and makes them look credible or reliable to others and the lie detector test determined that’s a lie! But hey, I used to be that girl too. Whether in church, on my job or favors for close friends, I always took on more than I could chew. While I felt important my body was saying otherwise…

Do you Care about Your Health?

Okay, picking up from the last tip….my stress level and blood pressure was through the roof! I knew I had taken on too much but I was too ashamed to say it or give it back because I felt as though it would not make me look credible. There’s a saying that says “If you die today, someone else will do your job tomorrow” and that’s the truth, most of the time before your body even gets cold; they already looking for someone else to fulfill the job….sad huh.

So, what I’m trying to say is – If you don’t have to do it, DON’T! If you have to much on your plate already? Just pass the Buck! This is a new year, sometimes we can spend so much time on other people’s projects (unless it’s a part of your business) until we forget our own. We become focused on stressing out over someone else’s dream, while ours is hanging out in the background.

Don’t let keeping the buck, affect your attitude, health or overall goals because this is your year to not get stuck, but to PASS THE BUCK!

Will you or Have you passed yours??

Mindsets & Mental Stress

photo above courtesy of bing 

Recently, as me and my brother-in-law were talking, he began to tell me how he was mentally tired. He works all the time it seems like and really never gets a break or have a “down” time and when he is off (which is sometimes only for a day) it’s filled with other things to do, such as take the children to the doctor; mowing the lawn; taking care of things around the house that was pushed on the agenda for his next off day or meeting with his own doctors, he and my sister are both the same way when it comes down to some much needed R&R, they just don’t have the time for it!

I can totally relate to both of their dilemma’s because on top of taking care of the house, working hard to provide for two kids, making sure I stay on top of my own job and keeping up with what needs to be paid, what I did “actually” pay, to kids field trips, to making sure there’s money for this and that and keeping the car running and keeping my own health in check – where in the world is the time to settle down and BREATHE!!! at the end of the day, I’m ready to pull my hair out – LITERALLY!

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HELP, PLEASSSSSSEEEEEE!!

We have to find the time and balance to take care of ourselves – No, seriously….we do! It’s detrimental that we do, not only for our sanity but for our overall health. I’ve often heard people say, “I’ll have plenty of time to rest, when I’m DEAD!” and while that is very true; I don’t want to, as Rihanna sings “WERK, WERK, WERK, WERK , WERK, WERK” until I’m dead or so sick until I can’t do anything at all. Some people feel as though they have to plan for some elaborate trip in order to get away and get some ME TIME in, and that’s great – but we all know that sometimes plans are meant to be cancelled. You don’t have to plan for a big trip or go away to some remote location to get a little mental clarity, now don’t get me wrong, if you have it like that and truly plan to go through with it, by all means, do what you have to do; but sometimes there are a couple of simple things we can do right now, before plan that big trip.

Listed below are a couple of things that I currently do to get some “me time” in everyday, while they may be very simple; they’ve really helped to keep my stress level at an all time low. 

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photo taken from okclipart

 

Take Your Time and Don’t Rush It ðŸ•”

When my kids were much smaller and in daycare, I would get off of work at 5pm and rush to pick them up before 6pm (otherwise, I’d get charged a dollar for every minute after) I worked like 45min away. Sometimes it was a struggle getting there on time due to the traffic but I didn’t want to be late or pay a fine. Everything revolved around my kids when they were younger and the thought of me doing anything for myself, was a forbidden thought that I didn’t think mothers were supposed to have. One day my boss asked me, Roshonda?, “Why do you rush to get your kids – you need to take some time for yourself, get off a little early and stop by to grab you an ice-cream and enjoy it by yourself before you pick the kids up.” The thought of her saying that was like, death to my ears “Stop for Ice-Cream?” was she serious? But, she was right – sometimes we can rush life so fast until we don’t take out time to enjoy the simple things. Just because I had small kids at the time, didn’t mean that I had to forget about me – taking that ice-cream break was not only life changing but it helped my sanity as well.

De-stress and Rest ðŸ˜´

This is all about finding things you can do to make your “you” day stress free, such as going to the library, checking out that new food chain or clothing store that just opened up or scheduling a massage (you can schedule this for your next day off) or going to the park and feeding the birds or watching the water or just sitting in your car or under a tree, listening to some music or catching up on that book that’s been collecting dust on your shelf, that you promised to read months ago. You may have to think about a couple of simple things that you can do, but trust me – it’ll be worth it. Have you checked out your downtown yet?, I love walking into shops and just looking around. **Getting a good night’s rest, helps your mental clarity and health also – even if you have to schedule it; just make sure you stick to it!**

Sometimes, you gotta keep it a secret ðŸ¤«

Okay, so I’m still working on being good at this BUT – sometimes you can’t tell people when you’re off work or if you’re leaving work early OR have some spare time in your day (unless you plan to hang out with them) I say this because sometimes people have a tendency to add their to-do list on your off day. Unless it’s an emergency and people need to know you’re off for a particular reason…..It’s okay to keep the day a Hush Hush. Especially if you want to get in some extra sleep or just lounge around the house in your jammies, sipping some tea or coffee and reading the newspaper or catching up on your favorite show (now that you have the remote all to yourself). If you constantly sound the alarm when you’re off of work…..you’ll never get any rest.

Hey, Let’s Walk It Out ðŸ‘ŸðŸ‘Ÿ

Exercise (as I’ve come to really know it) is a great stress relief – it gets those endorphins going and those energy levels up, making you sure to conquer the day – no matter how hard it may be. Do you eat lunch at your desk (I’m so guilty of this one)….I’m learning to stop eating lunch at my desk andddddd also, learning to leave the desk and take a walk. Sometimes, I’ll even go to my car let my seat back and turn on some music and take a nap or just eat and relax, I also take a walk around outside – especially when the day is beautiful. Walking has major benefits, for your mind and your health – it helps you de-stress from a long, busy and hectic day.

There is only one YOU and you only get one BODY, don’t lean on the motto of “I’ll rest when I’m dead” because we all will, one day but that day doesn’t have to be rushed. While, we must werk, werk, werk to make sure our necessities are not interrupted; we must take out time to make sure our mental stress and mindsets are also on our to-do list of important things to take care of as well…..

What do you do to maintain your stress levels?

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Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

P.S. I have a BIG, HUGE Announcement on Next Thursday 4/5/18 – Stay Tuned!!

 

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