photo source: Samuel L. Jackson/Bing/Really
I thought the video below was so funny and yet, so true! Since my last couple of posts have been about online dating and dating as a christian to singleness and what to give up to find the man of your dreams! I thought this video that my friend Martha sent to me, would be a great addition to those post!!
photo source above and below courtesy of bing/dating
This post topic was submitted by my online little sister Driftyness 
. Drifty is an ambitious, loving, passionate and faith filled young lady. She’s a grad student, who’s also a phenomenal writer. She blogs about goals, life, school and little golden nuggets that will have you giving more thought about your own journey. Give her blog some love and I promise you’ll get some back in return.
Photo above courtesy of bing
His car turned out to be a Black Lincoln Navigator with chrome wheels, sunroof and everything I mean it was loaded. Bye, Bye Baby I said as I waved to him. Oh Lord I said to myself “could this be my baby daddy”? I jumped in my car and sped all the way home.
When I got home I hurried up and threw the keys down and called him right away, just as he requested, forgetting all about getting comfortable and everything, the phone rang 5 times before I heard his voice say….
“Hello,” in a whisper.
“Hello, why are you whispering?” I asked.
“Oh my grandmother is sleeping and I don’t want to wake her.”
“Grandmother?” I said.
“Yes, she’s living here with me; it’s just the two of us.”
(“A man with a home of his own and a great caregiver!)
What more could you ask for. “I thought.”
“That is very sweet Steven, so tell me a little about yourself.”
“What do you want to know?” he asked.
“Well anything, like what are your interest to start.”
“There aren’t many.” he replied.
“Well not even one?” I said.
“Um, can you hold on for a minute.” he said.
I said okay, but I was kind of hesitant, his conversation was great at the gas station and now I can barely get 2 words out of him, almost like he was trying to hurry me off of the phone. Next thing I know I was talking to a woman.
“Who dis is?” She said.
“Who is this?” I stated.
“Katrina, Stevens’s woman, Now your name and why are you calling my man.” she said smartly.
(“Oh no this sista didn’t.” I said to myself).
“My name’s Bernice and Steven gave me this number to call him.” I said.
Steven! I heard her say aloud, “Why you have these females calling my place all times of night!!”
(“Females? What?…All times of Night!?!)
(Okay what was going on, and where was Steven I wondered!!)
“Hello.” She said.
“Uh….Yess.” I said confused.
“Honey I don’t know when or what Steven told you, but he’s off limits, Stevens my man; Shoot, I been waiting on him for 8 years.”
“8 years?” I said.
“Oh, he didn’t tell you? Child Steven was just released from prison two weeks ago.
“What?!!? I said to her.
“Um Hum.” She said profoundly. Honey Steven doesn’t have a pot or a window to throw it out of; he’s living here with me and my grandmother.”
“Your Grandmother!” I said to her.”
“Oh let me guess, he told you she was his grandmother and this was his place?”
“Yes, he really did” I said.
“Child please, Steven is a compulsive liar and a cheat, He has 8 children and 4 of them are by me.” She so proudly made known.
By this time I could not take another line of this drama. I can’t believe it!! I said aloud. Excuse Me? She said. I wanted to ask her “Well why are you with him?” and it slipped out before I knew it. “Honey?, do you know how hard it is to find a man?”
(“Girl please!, yes I do.” I said to myself.)
Girl, I’m so lucky to have Steven, after all he does come home to me every night, so I don’t mind his ways. I suddenly began to think, “Are men really that scarce?” Well I will let you go and I do apologize about the misunderstanding.” I told her.
“Um…Hum, Now you need to lose this number.” she said, and hung up on me!”
Don’t worry its already forgotten sista-girl. I should have known better, I really thought I had hit the jackpot with that one, but apparently not. Thank ya Lord for allowing me not to get entwined in that drama showcase.
You know as I sit here in amazement and confusion I cannot help but think back on all the guys that have come and gone in my life, which brings me to Anthony whom apparently loved using my perfume for some reason. I noticed one morning the smell in the bathroom resembled so closely to my Patti Labelle and I know that I didn’t use her that day myself.
Low and behold, he came out of the bathroom and as soon as I leaned in to hug him, there Patti was all around his neck…Oh my God, Is that my Patti LaBelle perfume you’re wearing? I asked. Yes, But Baby I didn’t have anything else to put on he suggested, but looked very puzzled as if I should not be asking him about it; like I was not suppose to notice or something. He went to work that day and I had to let him go. Could you imagine me sharing my perfume with him in the mornings? What would it have been next, Hairstyles and nail color?! I don’t even think so.
Then there was Ahmad whom claimed he was a pro-athlete. Yeah right, I never saw him on TV or magazines. Come to find out he meant he was an athlete in high school, which happened to be 12 years ago. Ahmad would say and do anything to lay his greasy, played out, 1984 gone out of style juicy curl head on somebody’s pillow. Ahmad was okay; he just had some life issues and problems, 34yrs old and no job to his name. I supported him for about 3 months, which was 3 months too long.
Ahmad was more like a child in my opinion, every time we went to the store “can you get me this; can you buy me that.” G.I. Joe toys in which I didn’t know still existed, Ken dolls, water guns, bubbles, toy trucks and cars and the list goes on. And food, oh my God, it was always junk; I began to think he never ate a home cooked meal. Chips, Ice cream, cakes, cookies and pies filled the cart and people use to always compliment us on how we made such a nice couple, do you have any children?
Yes, I wanted to reply, he’s standing next to me. Instead I politely smiled and said no, if they only knew. Besides Christmas was approaching and I just wanted someone to spend time with, you know how it gets around that time “LONELY” especially if you are by yourself.
But as quick as Ahmad came into my life that is just how he left, I woke up one morning to find him gone. He left me a little note God bless his heart for the spelling:
He meant “Left gone to live with my mama.” Honey your mama can have ya and good ridings; I can endure spending the holidays alone which is exactly what I did. I have to say though, I was surprised Ahmad didn’t stay for Christmas to get more toys, but maybe his mama was buying him a lot more. After all maybe that is why he loaded up that day at the store, we had already spent Christmas together I just didn’t realize it. And last but not least there was Kevin, we started off sweet, but ended sour. He left his girlfriend just to be with me, I thought that was so sweet. But I began to notice every time he left the house I would awake to find something missing. First it started with the milk then the cereal, my pots and pans, the box of grits, bacon and then my car? That was a big HALT!!!! . “Sharon needed a ride and my mama needed some food.” He said.
(“Oh no this brotha didn’t.” I thought)
Sharon was his supposedly ex-girlfriend. Come to find out Sharon was 5 months pregnant with his baby and the food he was taking from my house was for her and the baby. But he wanted to continue to live and shop at my house? I don’t think so homeboy, you did the crime now do the time. After he left I got my locks changed just in case he took an extra key out with him, next thing you know I’ll awake one morning to 3 new housemates Kevin, Sharon, and the Baby.
You know? After last weeks date with Robert and the crazy dispute I had with Steven and his girlfriend, you would think I would have learned something and my dating days HISTORY!! But Nooo….here I go again about to go out on another date, probably with someone else’s man, a looser, scrub, or money pincher.
But you know sitting here thinking about all this just made me realize that right now God is the only one I need and want in my life at this present time. So with that in mind there is only one thing to do (picks up phone, dialing her date) Hello, James, Yeah I’m canceling our date tonight, you know what I decided?….
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
Still waiting…Patiently, this time.
©Roshonda N. Blackmon, All Rights Reserved
Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are fictitious and have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals once involved.
photo above courtesy of bing
My mom used to always tell us, you always show people your appreciation – she would always give people gifts when she met them for the first time, so I sort of picked that up from her and wanted to do the same for him, I mean after all – if he was paying, the least I could do was show a token of my appreciation by having the tip and a gift. As I pulled up to the restaurant, I noticed that the car he was driving two nights before was not there yet and it was okay, I mean I was 10min early…
I decided not to sit in the car but to go inside and sit in the lobby and wait on him, in which I felt like should have been pulling up at any time now. As I sat there I watched the various people come in and out of the restaurant all the while piercing my eyes through the glass window to watch the parking lot of any sight of his car. I played on my phone, checked my Instagram – scrolled through a couple of quotes all while keeping an eye on the parking lot.
When I looked at the time, it was 15min after – okay, I said. Maybe he got caught in traffic, overslept or just forgot – I mean, I didn’t have a number to call and check the matter either; so that made things even more annoying. 15min turned into 30, 30min turned into 45, 45min turned into an hour. Soon, the people that walked in before me and/or after me was beginning to come out of the restaurant – each with puzzled looks on their faces as if to say “You’re still here?” in fact, one woman just came out and asked “Weren’t you sitting here when we went in?” Yes, ma’am I said with a fake smile – this whole scenario was beginning to be embarrassing as well as sad.
I began to text my friends and tell them how the guy never showed up, they all were encouraging and thought maybe something happened and maybe he couldn’t get there to tell me. All the while I was thinking “How could a good conversation with someone a couple nights ago, lead to them standing you up?” I couldn’t wrap my head around it – but I began to think about the prayer that I prayed to God. I told one of my friends that maybe this was God’s way of protecting me from something that I didn’t need to get into – I mean, he is omniscient and can see further than our eyes ever will. The only thing I knew was that I didn’t want that day to go wasted; one of my friends wasn’t having it, she love seafood and asked could she be my date for the evening – she literally dropped everything and came. So the day didn’t end bad although I was puzzled and a little sad about how the situation turned out, I knew God had his hand in it and my best interest at heart and I thanked him for keeping me from whatever it was, that I didn’t see. Plus, we ate some good fried fish ya’ll…..lol
I met up with an acquaintance to help her out with a couple of social media issues, but needed to go to the store….AGAIN!….I started to go before my meeting but thought that I would go after as I didn’t expect us to be long. When I left her, I went to Wal-Mart; once I entered the parking lot I parked in front of this elderly woman whom was on the phone, I quickly glanced her – got out and went into the store.
As I came out of the store and got closer to my car – I heard this woman mumbling something about a guy having friends, there was this child with her – her car was now parked in front of me, I looked at them and proceeded to get into my car, When I got into the car and put my keys into the ignition, I looked up and low and behold – guess who was sitting in the passenger seat of the car the woman parked in front of me got out of….THE GUY THAT STOOD ME UP! For a moment I paused and started to just leave, but I couldn’t – I got out of the car and just stood there looking at him – he was asleep but as he shuffled around in his seat, his eyes came open and he looked right at me. (He looked like he had just seen Casper the ghost!!)
He gave me this stupid look and grin and got out of the car….”Hey, how you doing” he said. I was still standing there looking at him at this point. Nervously, he was fiddling around like he was looking for a fix….as he headed from the passenger side of the car to the back door of the driver side, he said “Hey, what you doing this weekend; you busy?” Really???? Dude???? Like, I’m the same woman that you stood up this past weekend!! Did he actually think, I was stupid enough to go out with him again to get a double whammy of what he served UP? The Nerve! As he made his way back around to the front of the car, now looking towards the stores door. I asked “What happened to you Saturday?” with his head down and kicking at his shoe to get the packed mud off – he said “Something came up” and literally turned around and walked towards the store….no explanation, no I’m sorry, no nothing….(then had the audacity to look back, Oh……if I had a HUGE ROCK!! the place in which I would aim it!)
While I was in utter SHOCK of his response! In that moment, God showed me what he was ALL about and I was so happy and relieved about that. He didn’t want me to get into a mess and he really did have my best interest at heart all because I chose to place the situation at his feet in the beginning and the WILL it had for my life. It also let me know that I need to stick to my guns and stay single this year as I had proposed in the beginning.
While this was guidance for a relationship for me, you may have issues or things going on in which you need to put on the altar before God and let him make the final decision on if it’s a YES or if it’s a NO! I know it’s hard to let go and ask God about our life especially when we so badly want to steer it in our own direction but let this story be proof that God really does want the best for you. Whether it’s a job, car, house or spouse; let God have the last say……Your pockets, mind, sanity and heart will thank you later.
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
Did you miss Part 1 of this story?, You can read it here
Finish reading the last series of “I Will Wait Until God Says, It’s My Time!” do you think Bernice will finally through in the towel and let God handle it? Or will she keep trying and trying and failing……Check out the ending of this series on Thursday 2/22/18
Photo above courtesy of bing
So one might would deem me as being an around the way girl, if I told them how many times I have gone around and around and around….with relationships, these relationships with men have been a roller-coaster to say the least. In the process of me trying to FIND the right man I went through some doozies, I could say other names but I’m a Christian and it wouldn’t be allowed to come from my lips. During that period of time I noticed that I was in an ON again, OFF again relationship with God in which I prayed a lot…..got in a relationship…..prayed less and still……..got in another relationship, things were not looking good, If I had only WAITED on God, half of my life experiences would be obsolete; if only life was a big eraser, oh the things I would erase. But I’m so glad that I had those experiences as it has allowed those trials to become my Triumphs in getting to know me better, what I was really desiring in a man and most of all to gain a closer walk and/or relationship with Christ.
Those experiences have given me the unique opportunity to talk to you. I wrote this as a play and even performed it in church some years ago. Yes, the story you are about to read is a true story of my dating experiences (characters changed) through the years, so whether you’re in an active relationship at the moment, Married, Divorced, Single – Single and a Virgin waiting for marriage or have been around the dating way like I have, hopefully there will be something within these pages that will minister to you to either give you hope to move on from a broken relationship or how to WAIT on God for the perfect relationship that he has for you (notice I said PERFECT) there’s no such thing as the perfect man, but the man that God has for you will be perfect for your situation, your lifestyle and your relationship with God – which won’t hinder it but help it.
Be Blessed & Keep WAITING! I know it’s been a long time, but trust me it’s worth the wait.
I am so good when it comes to making sure I step up in the corporate world called “my career” I want nothing but the best job, the best pay, and flexible hours and I won’t take down to nothing less. I am such the goal-oriented woman whom accomplishes both short and long-term goals set for my life in record time. I am a good giver to my young brothers and sisters in need and I am a great counselor at giving others good sound advice for their dating relationships and their lives. I strive to encourage them to make good healthy productive decisions that will keep them moving forward and not backward. So tell me? Why am I clueless when it comes to dating and the relationships I choose? I just keep getting into problem after problem, It all started when I went on a date last week with a guy named Robert, whom I met through my best friend Stephanie I mean she knows me pretty good, so I trusted she knew what I wanted in a man. She said he looked good, so she gave him my number. He called me, “he sounded good, I mean really good on the phone” I got all happy, but silly at the same time, because he asked me could I meet him at his house, we would leave from there. Hesitantly I said okay…but my instincts were shouting “Wrong Move.”
It’s been 6 months since I’ve been out on a date, I called myself taking a breather to get to know me and what I really wanted out of a relationship, so thinking I had gotten myself truly together I finally decided to give the dating scene another go round.
So today I got my hair, nails and toes done “yes my toes”. I wanted to be perfect for this date; I went the whole nine yards. When I got to his house he came out wearing this dirty white wife-beater shirt, some old, looked to big for him baggy pants and some timber’s not timberland’s because these shoes looked like they had gone out of style with the polyester pants era. He also looked like he had not had a hair cut in 2 years I imagined, and then had the nerve to have a comb sticking out of it. I stood there in amazement because I looked like beauty and he was definitely the beast. And if his attire didn’t take the cake; come to find out he doesn’t have a car; my car was going to be our source of transportation for the night. Now that was strike number two; and I should’ve left then, But no, I was lonely, desperate, and hoping that maybe something good would come out of this nice evening, despite his current situation.
So we took my ride, and here I was thinking we’re going to go somewhere nice and elegant like Justin’s, Olive Garden, Red Lobster or someplace like that, especially since I spent all day beautifying myself. “So where are we going.” I asked. “Oh I thought we’d go to McDonalds.” say he’s kind of short of change, by this time I was getting short of patience, then had the nerve to tell me to “order something cheap, “hard times ya know.” I was thinking to myself well just how hard have times gotten, I mean isn’t minimum wage $7.25 an hour? I was devastated and upset at myself for continuing this date and my friend for setting me up with him.
Come to find out as our minimal conversation progressed, that prospective job at the Law Firm ended up being a job beside the law firm collecting cans and raffling tickets, and that 2008 Yukon he didn’t have ended up being a banged up 1964 Nova that was just impounded last week. Telling me what he used to be and what he used to have and how he bought this home and car (might I add) for the last girl he was with. I mean what; I guess good times just stopped when you got to me huh.
Can you picture me sitting up in McDonald’s sporting a $200.00 dress with some Baby Phat Carmen 03 pumps and an $85.00 hairdo? People looking at me like I had a problem, and I did, a whole lot of problems.
So when I finished my Apple pie and “small” orange pop, I hurried up and took him home! I couldn’t bear another moment of his depressing scenario. All at the same time I was thinking to myself “Lord if you get me out of this one, I promise I will WAIT! On you.”
But I didn’t wait……………Big Mistake.
The following week I met a guy named Steven, No I did not meet him through my friend Stephanie after that ordeal with Robert I decided to leave her alone. So I thought I would try and hook myself up with someone after all who could know exactly what I want in a man than me right?….Wrong.
Well I just happened to be at the Gas Station pumping gas when I heard this deep voice behind me say…
“You sure look good doll.” He said.
I turned around and low and behold standing before me was the most handsome man I had ever seen; I mean Billy Dee Williams had nothing on him, now Denzel Washington well that’s another story. But anyway, he was tall and light skinned with a nice frame to him, very broad shoulders, with the most gorgeous brown eyes.
And unlike Robert, he did know how to dress. He had on this Sean John jacket with a white shirt underneath and he wore some nice Sean John jeans with some Karl Kani boots (these were the real things). He must have a little something, something.” I thought to myself, it’s about time.
“Hello, my name is Steven,” He said, smiling.
“My name’s Bernice.” I said,” blushing and smiling all while turning my face to the right where my dimple shows, right as we began to talk another car pulled up behind us blowing his horn because he now needed to use the gas pump. Oh I had totally forgotten about the gas. So as I walked inside to pay, he said…
“I’ll pay for the gas, do you mind?” taking out his wallet.
(“Now you know this is too good to be true.” I thought.)
Before I could say “Oh no I got it” I said, “Yes you may.” before I knew it. “Don’t sound desperate.” I kept telling myself. My mind was saying this but my actions were saying go right ahead.
We exchanged numbers and he asked if I could call him right away when I got home, certainly I said. As I watched him walk away I noticed that he did not look too bad from behind either… “Okay quit lusting.” I said to myself. But as much as I wanted to hurry home and call him, I just stood there because I really wanted to see what type of car he was driving or if he even had one.
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
©Roshonda N. Blackmon, All Rights Reserved
*Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are fictitious and have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals once involved.
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