I thought the video below was so funny and yet, so true! Since my last couple of posts have been about online dating and dating as a christian to singleness and what to give up to find the man of your dreams! I thought this video that my friend Martha sent to me, would be a great addition to those post!!
photo source above and below courtesy of bing/dating
This post topic was submitted by my online little sister Driftyness. Drifty is an ambitious, loving, passionate and faith filled young lady. She’s a grad student, who’s also a phenomenal writer. She blogs about goals, life, school and little golden nuggets that will have you giving more thought about your own journey. Give her blog some love and I promise you’ll get some back in return.
His car turned out to be a Black Lincoln Navigator with chrome wheels, sunroof and everything I mean it was loaded. Bye, Bye Baby I said as I waved to him. Oh Lord I said to myself “could this be my baby daddy”? I jumped in my car and sped all the way home.
When I got home I hurried up and threw the keys down and called him right away, just as he requested, forgetting all about getting comfortable and everything, the phone rang 5 times before I heard his voice say….
“Hello,” in a whisper.
“Hello, why are you whispering?” I asked.
“Oh my grandmother is sleeping and I don’t want to wake her.”
“Grandmother?” I said.
“Yes, she’s living here with me; it’s just the two of us.”
(“A man with a home of his own and a great caregiver!)
What more could you ask for. “I thought.”
“That is very sweet Steven, so tell me a little about yourself.”
“What do you want to know?” he asked.
“Well anything, like what are your interest to start.”
“There aren’t many.” he replied.
“Well not even one?” I said.
“Um, can you hold on for a minute.” he said.
I said okay, but I was kind of hesitant, his conversation was great at the gas station and now I can barely get 2 words out of him, almost like he was trying to hurry me off of the phone. Next thing I know I was talking to a woman.
“Who dis is?” She said.
“Who is this?” I stated.
“Katrina, Stevens’s woman, Now your name and why are you calling my man.” she said smartly.
(“Oh no this sista didn’t.” I said to myself).
“My name’s Bernice and Steven gave me this number to call him.” I said.
Steven! I heard her say aloud, “Why you have these females calling my place all times of night!!”
(“Females? What?…All times of Night!?!)
(Okay what was going on, and where was Steven I wondered!!)
“Hello.” She said.
“Uh….Yess.” I said confused.
“Honey I don’t know when or what Steven told you, but he’s off limits, Stevens my man; Shoot, I been waiting on him for 8 years.”
“8 years?” I said.
“Oh, he didn’t tell you? Child Steven was just released from prison two weeks ago.
“What?!!? I said to her.
“Um Hum.” She said profoundly. Honey Steven doesn’t have a pot or a window to throw it out of; he’s living here with me and my grandmother.”
“Your Grandmother!” I said to her.”
“Oh let me guess, he told you she was his grandmother and this was his place?”
“Yes, he really did” I said.
“Child please, Steven is a compulsive liar and a cheat, He has 8 children and 4 of them are by me.” She so proudly made known.
By this time I could not take another line of this drama. I can’t believe it!! I said aloud. Excuse Me? She said. I wanted to ask her “Well why are you with him?” and it slipped out before I knew it. “Honey?, do you know how hard it is to find a man?”
(“Girl please!, yes I do.” I said to myself.)
Girl, I’m so lucky to have Steven, after all he does come home to me every night, so I don’t mind his ways. I suddenly began to think, “Are men really that scarce?” Well I will let you go and I do apologize about the misunderstanding.” I told her.
“Um…Hum, Now you need to lose this number.” she said, and hung up on me!”
Don’t worry its already forgotten sista-girl. I should have known better, I really thought I had hit the jackpot with that one, but apparently not. Thank ya Lord for allowing me not to get entwined in that drama showcase.
You know as I sit here in amazement and confusion I cannot help but think back on all the guys that have come and gone in my life, which brings me to Anthony whom apparently loved using my perfume for some reason. I noticed one morning the smell in the bathroom resembled so closely to my Patti Labelle and I know that I didn’t use her that day myself.
Low and behold, he came out of the bathroom and as soon as I leaned in to hug him, there Patti was all around his neck…Oh my God, Is that my Patti LaBelle perfume you’re wearing? I asked. Yes, But Baby I didn’t have anything else to put on he suggested, but looked very puzzled as if I should not be asking him about it; like I was not suppose to notice or something. He went to work that day and I had to let him go. Could you imagine me sharing my perfume with him in the mornings? What would it have been next, Hairstyles and nail color?! I don’t even think so.
Then there was Ahmad whom claimed he was a pro-athlete. Yeah right, I never saw him on TV or magazines. Come to find out he meant he was an athlete in high school, which happened to be 12 years ago. Ahmad would say and do anything to lay his greasy, played out, 1984 gone out of style juicy curl head on somebody’s pillow. Ahmad was okay; he just had some life issues and problems, 34yrs old and no job to his name. I supported him for about 3 months, which was 3 months too long.
Ahmad was more like a child in my opinion, every time we went to the store “can you get me this; can you buy me that.” G.I. Joe toys in which I didn’t know still existed, Ken dolls, water guns, bubbles, toy trucks and cars and the list goes on. And food, oh my God, it was always junk; I began to think he never ate a home cooked meal. Chips, Ice cream, cakes, cookies and pies filled the cart and people use to always compliment us on how we made such a nice couple, do you have any children?
Yes, I wanted to reply, he’s standing next to me. Instead I politely smiled and said no, if they only knew. Besides Christmas was approaching and I just wanted someone to spend time with, you know how it gets around that time “LONELY” especially if you are by yourself.
But as quick as Ahmad came into my life that is just how he left, I woke up one morning to find him gone. He left me a little note God bless his heart for the spelling:
He meant “Left gone to live with my mama.” Honey your mama can have ya and good ridings; I can endure spending the holidays alone which is exactly what I did. I have to say though, I was surprised Ahmad didn’t stay for Christmas to get more toys, but maybe his mama was buying him a lot more. After all maybe that is why he loaded up that day at the store, we had already spent Christmas together I just didn’t realize it. And last but not least there was Kevin, we started off sweet, but ended sour. He left his girlfriend just to be with me, I thought that was so sweet. But I began to notice every time he left the house I would awake to find something missing. First it started with the milk then the cereal, my pots and pans, the box of grits, bacon and then my car? That was a big HALT!!!! . “Sharonneeded a ride and my mama needed some food.” He said.
(“Oh no this brotha didn’t.” I thought)
Sharon was his supposedly ex-girlfriend. Come to find out Sharon was 5 months pregnant with his baby and the food he was taking from my house was for her and the baby. But he wanted to continue to live and shop at my house? I don’t think so homeboy, you did the crime now do the time. After he left I got my locks changed just in case he took an extra key out with him, next thing you know I’ll awake one morning to 3 new housemates Kevin, Sharon, and the Baby.
You know? After last weeks date with Robert and the crazy dispute I had with Steven and his girlfriend, you would think I would have learned something and my dating days HISTORY!! But Nooo….here I go again about to go out on another date, probably with someone else’s man, a looser, scrub, or money pincher.
But you know sitting here thinking about all this just made me realize that right now God is the only one I need and want in my life at this present time. So with that in mind there is only one thing to do (picks up phone, dialing her date) Hello, James, Yeah I’m canceling our date tonight, you know what I decided?….
“I’m going to wait until God says, “It’s MY Time”
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of Roshonda N. Blackmon
Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are fictitious and have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals once involved.
Did you Like This Post? Please Share It, Someone Else Might Like it Too!