I’ve often heard the phrase that there are at least 10 women to 1 man. Not only does this put the man at a great advantage having a good selection of women to choose from, but he has quite a few women he could possibly date, and all of them if he really wanted to.
But what about us women? The same ratio that proves to be so strong in the top paragraph for a man is a cat fight for a woman trying to get that one man to notice her. It’s sort of like those bachelor and/or bachelorette shows on T.V. where 30 or so women and men are desperately dying to get that one man or woman’s attention. The kicker is that he or she can only pick one, which leaves everyone else’s dreams of finding the ‘Perfect Guy or Girl’ shattered because now they have to attempt to find happiness and love elsewhere. Starting over again is a process that can drive you truly insane if you let it.
Let’s face it, we live in a world where if you haven’t gotten married, had a baby, or even had a guy during a particular holiday season or by a certain age; then society says “There’s something wrong with you” It’s even worse when your family members are constantly asking if you’re dating anyone. All of these issues will drive you insane while living the single life. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to find Mr. or Mrs.’s Right but if you rush it because of outside pressures from family, friends or society, then 9 times out of 10, you’re going to settle.
Here are a couple of things that you can do for yourself so you can stay sane in the midst of your season of singleness.
Tip #1 The Happiness Effect:
The world tells and/or has a way of showing us what happiness is from it’s perspective, most times it’s involving money, fame, relationships or popularity. But true happiness is not defined by what you have or don’t have; it’s defined by how you feel about yourself. What’s going on in your current world right now; what are your feelings about your life and where are you mentally at this time? You may say, “Well that has nothing to do with anything” – But it has a lot to do with everything. Happiness attracts the right kind of people or things into your life. If you’re not happy, then you’re subject to attract whatever debris that washes up on the ocean front. I posted a quote on FB this week that says “If You Aren’t Happy being Single, You will never be Happy in a relationship – Get your own Life First, Then Share It. Just like a person whom doesn’t want to enter a dirty house that looks like every hurricane imaginable rummaged through it. It’s the same with a relationship, no one wants to enter a mess that was already in place……they want to enter into peace and tranquility but you must create that environment first, as it will not be created once you get into a relationship.
You don’t go into relationships to find Happiness, Happiness occurs before the relationship says “Hello” – R. Blackmon
Tip #2 Who Are You?
Do you know who you are? Most women or men get into relationships expecting it to complete and satisfy them; it’s sad to say, but most men and women enter into relationships as “broken pieces” whom expect the other to help heal and piece them together again. We tend to think “I’ll be okay, this relationship will make things alright, or I’ll be even happier if I was in a relationship. Getting to know who you are FIRST! will reveal things about yourself that you might didn’t even know. Once you discover who you truly are – then you’ll be able to identify those characteristics in a mate and determine whom you truly want to be with. You can’t know them, if you don’t know yourself.
Tip #3 Don’t allow your feelings to drive you to do something you’ll regret.
I’ve been on quite a few dating sites and if I can be honest, they’re all pretty much the same – you may have good intentions but everyone doesn’t follow that rule. Anyone can be whomever they wish or like to be on those sites. Singleness can cause us to do drastic things that lead to disastrous results. While some people have had good results; they don’t work for everyone, so be careful and don’t allow your lonely situation to kick you out of the drivers seat of your own life. Control It!
Tip #4 Focus on other things, instead of obsessing over it.
When you’re constantly looking for something, you never tend to find it but when you calm down and forget about it, then that’s when it seems to pop up out of nowhere. The same applies to singleness; when you stop looking for Mr. or Ms.’s Right and let it happen naturally, the unexpected miraculously happens out of the blue.
Good things not only comes to those who wait, but to those who least EXPECT IT! – R. Blackmon
Tip #5 Have you asked GOD Yet??
Have you consulted God about “Why you are Single?” – Okay, so before you decide to shut the page down and click the “x” sign, let me explain. This is a process that NO ONE wants to even ask God, because they’re afraid of the outcome or what he might say. “So, Lord? You want me to stay single for 5 more years?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Consulting God is best because he knows the true reason as to why you’re still alone. This answer is different and can be difficult for each individual. But I promise, if you consult God – then you’ll know what you need to work on in which could make Mr. or Ms. Right for You come quicker. It’s almost like looking at your credit score, no one wants to face it but when you do, you realize that it wasn’t as bad as you thought and it’s sort of a blueprint to help you get the things you truly desire. If you never work on it then you’ll never know what you could actually have.
Singleness is a crazy world all by itself; but you don’t have to lose your sanity during it. Remember, Singleness is not a death sentence and it doesn’t mean you should put your life on hold. Instead, it’s an opportunity for you to get in the driver’s seat and shape your own singleness destiny and let life handle the rest, you might be really surprised at what it brings your way.