I Will Wait, Till God Says “It’s Time!” The Play – Act 1

Photo above courtesy of bing 

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So one might would deem me as being an around the way girl, if I told them how many times I have gone around and around and around….with relationships, these relationships with men have been a roller-coaster to say the least. In the process of me trying to FIND the right man I went through some doozies, I could say other names but I’m a Christian and it wouldn’t be allowed to come from my lips. During that period of time I noticed that I was in an ON again, OFF again relationship with God in which I prayed a lot…..got in a relationship…..prayed less and still……..got in another relationship, things were not looking good, If I had only WAITED on God, half of my life experiences would be obsolete; if only life was a big eraser, oh the things I would erase. But I’m so glad that I had those experiences as it has allowed those trials to become my Triumphs in getting to know me better, what I was really desiring in a man and most of all to gain a closer walk and/or relationship with Christ.

Those experiences have given me the unique opportunity to talk to you. I wrote this as a play and even performed it in church some years ago. Yes, the story you are about to read is a true story of my dating experiences (characters changed) through the years, so whether you’re in an active relationship at the moment, Married, Divorced, Single – Single and a Virgin waiting for marriage or have been around the dating way like I have, hopefully there will be something within these pages that will minister to you to either give you hope to move on from a broken relationship or how to WAIT on God for the perfect relationship that he has for you (notice I said PERFECT) there’s no such thing as the perfect man, but the man that God has for you will be perfect for your situation, your lifestyle and your relationship with God – which won’t hinder it but help it.

Be Blessed & Keep WAITING! I know it’s been a long time, but trust me it’s worth the wait.

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HELP!  HELP!  HELP!

I am so good when it comes to making sure I step up in the corporate world called “my career” I want nothing but the best job, the best pay, and flexible hours and I won’t take down to nothing less. I am such the goal-oriented woman whom accomplishes both short and long-term goals set for my life in record time. I am a good giver to my young brothers and sisters in need and I am a great counselor at giving others good sound advice for their dating relationships and their lives.  I strive to encourage them to make good healthy productive decisions that will keep them moving forward and not backward.  So tell me? Why am I clueless when it comes to dating and the relationships I choose? I just keep getting into problem after problem, It all started when I went on a date last week with a guy named Robert, whom I met through my best friend Stephanie I mean she knows me pretty good, so I trusted she knew what I wanted in a man. She said he looked good, so she gave him my number. He called me, “he sounded good, I mean really good on the phone” I got all happy, but silly at the same time, because he asked me could I meet him at his house, we would leave from there. Hesitantly I said okay…but my instincts were shouting “Wrong Move.”

It’s been 6 months since I’ve been out on a date, I called myself taking a breather to get to know me and what I really wanted out of a relationship, so thinking I had gotten myself truly together I finally decided to give the dating scene another go round.

So today I got my hair, nails and toes done “yes my toes”. I wanted to be perfect for this date; I went the whole nine yards. When I got to his house he came out wearing this dirty white wife-beater shirt, some old, looked to big for him baggy pants and some timber’s not timberland’s because these shoes looked like they had gone out of style with the polyester pants era. He also looked like he had not had a hair cut in 2 years I imagined, and then had the nerve to have a comb sticking out of it. I stood there in amazement because I looked like beauty and he was definitely the beast. And if his attire didn’t take the cake; come to find out he doesn’t have a car; my car was going to be our source of transportation for the night. Now that was strike number two; and I should’ve left then, But no, I was lonely, desperate, and hoping that maybe something good would come out of this nice evening, despite his current situation.

So we took my ride, and here I was thinking we’re going to go somewhere nice and elegant like Justin’s, Olive Garden, Red Lobster or someplace like that, especially since I spent all day beautifying myself. “So where are we going.” I asked. “Oh I thought we’d go to McDonalds.” say he’s kind of short of change, by this time I was getting short of patience, then had the nerve to tell me to “order something cheap, “hard times ya know.” I was thinking to myself well just how hard have times gotten, I mean isn’t minimum wage $7.25 an hour? I was devastated and upset at myself for continuing this date and my friend for setting me up with him.

Come to find out as our minimal conversation progressed, that prospective job at the Law Firm ended up being a job beside the law firm collecting cans and raffling tickets, and that 2008 Yukon he didn’t have ended up being a banged up 1964 Nova that was just impounded last week. Telling me what he used to be and what he used to have and how he bought this home and car (might I add) for the last girl he was with. I mean what; I guess good times just stopped when you got to me huh.

Can you picture me sitting up in McDonald’s sporting a $200.00 dress with some Baby Phat Carmen 03 pumps and an $85.00 hairdo? People looking at me like I had a problem, and I did, a whole lot of problems.

So when I finished my Apple pie and “small” orange pop, I hurried up and took him home! I couldn’t bear another moment of his depressing scenario. All at the same time I was thinking to myself “Lord if you get me out of this one, I promise I will WAIT! On you.”

But I didn’t wait……………Big Mistake.

The following week I met a guy named Steven, No I did not meet him through my friend Stephanie after that ordeal with Robert I decided to leave her alone. So I thought I would try and hook myself up with someone after all who could know exactly what I want in a man than me right?….Wrong.

Well I just happened to be at the Gas Station pumping gas when I heard this deep voice behind me say…

“You sure look good doll.” He said.

I turned around and low and behold standing before me was the most handsome man I had ever seen; I mean Billy Dee Williams had nothing on him, now Denzel Washington well that’s another story. But anyway, he was tall and light skinned with a nice frame to him, very broad shoulders, with the most gorgeous brown eyes.

And unlike Robert, he did know how to dress. He had on this Sean John jacket with a white shirt underneath and he wore some nice Sean John jeans with some Karl Kani boots (these were the real things). He must have a little something, something.” I thought to myself, it’s about time.

“Hello, my name is Steven,” He said, smiling.

“My name’s Bernice.” I said,” blushing and smiling all while turning my face to the right where my dimple shows, right as we began to talk another car pulled up behind  us blowing his horn because he now needed to use the gas pump. Oh I had totally forgotten about the gas. So as I walked inside to pay, he said…

“I’ll pay for the gas, do you mind?” taking out his wallet.

(“Now you know this is too good to be true.” I thought.)

Before I could say “Oh no I got it” I said, “Yes you may.” before I knew it. “Don’t sound desperate.” I kept telling myself.  My mind was saying this but my actions were saying go right ahead.

We exchanged numbers and he asked if I could call him right away when I got home, certainly I said. As I watched him walk away I noticed that he did not look too bad from behind either… “Okay quit lusting.” I said to myself. But as much as I wanted to hurry home and call him, I just stood there because I really wanted to see what type of car he was driving or if he even had one.

To Be Continued….2/22/18

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

 

Hey, please stay tuned for part 2 of: “Did He Just Stand Me Up?” Part 2 – COMING SUNDAY @ 12noon.

You wouldn’t believe what happened next….

 

 

 

Waiting

©Roshonda N. Blackmon, All Rights Reserved 

*Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are fictitious and have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals once involved. 

 

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Sunday’s Thought: Did He Just Stand Me Up?? Part 1

photo above courtesy of bing 

My dating life literally went down the tube last year; after years of yo-yo dating and really not acquiring “the one” I decided last year after my last attempt at trying to have a relationship, fizzled out to just go M.I.A with the dating scene. I mean, the relationship  was cool in the beginning but mid-way through I began to see a side of him that I knew wouldn’t be good enough to continue a relationship less known marriage. During that time, God had began to deal with me about my body and giving myself to him, those dealings soon lead me to become so convicted; I stopped cold turkey. Trying to explain that to him was an even bigger chore because he didn’t have a relationship with God, (at least not in the way that I have a relationship with him) so therefore I knew, he wouldn’t understand completely as to where I was coming from.

just don't get it

I knew it was God that was leading me away from that relationship as our time together became less and less and I became unusually busy as ever to try and travel an hour and some change away to see him – before, I would hop on the road with no problem; but soon found that increasingly difficult as the months passed by – soon what seemed like 1000 text messages a day to check up on each other, ended up being 1 text a day, if that and no phone calls. As our lives became like two ships sailing in the night, so did my communication with him – soon, I didn’t take notice to him at all, it was like we never met. But anyways…fast forward….

As God began to deal with me about my alone time, I got the feeling that maybe God just wants me to be alone this season. I suddenly realized that I didn’t’ want to be in a relationship and my new year’s resolution coming into this year was “I’m going to dedicate this whole year to God and not being in a relationship” which was a newbie for me, because when I looked back over my life – I noticed that I had “always” been in some type of relationship with someone, I had never had a year of where I didn’t date at all. So, feeling as if I needed a purge year – 2018 was my year to be “totally” single. I mean, I have two kids (teen and pre-teen) and they need my full attention with no distractions. Well, you know how when you say you’re going to do something and get your mind made up to do it – here comes the enemy with his many distractions, curve balls, twists and gimmicks.

I left work one night and before I reached home, decided to go into the store and pick up a couple of items as the kids were yet, out of school again due to the snow. While on the noodle isle, I seen this guy next to me but didn’t pay him any mind; suddenly he says “Those kids are out of school more than I was when I was growing up,” and of course I responded and said “You got that right!!” So, his conversation didn’t stop there – next thing you know he was telling me about himself, his job, where he was from and how he can’t seem to find the right woman – even though he’s a good man. I briefly told him my mishaps with dating of being the nice girl and finishing last and we laughed and kept conversing, so finally he said – you know what? I want to take you out on a date. I tell you what, the next time we bump into one another – we’re going out! I was a little puzzled because he never asked for my number and how did he know we would ever see each other again. I said okay, cool and we parted ways.

Well, as fate would have it – I had to go back into the store the next day. Prior to going in, I remember thinking to myself – how ironic would it be to see the same guy in here again. And as “serendipity” would have it – as soon as I walked in the store, there he was at the checkout. I couldn’t believe it! Really???, when he saw me – the first thing he said was OKAY, WOW!!! we’re going on a date!!! We conversed some more over the irony of our second visit and he asked, “So, where would you like to go” – I love seafood, so that’s where I suggested and he agreed. Upon leaving (he still didn’t get my number), we walked out (because I wanted to see if he had his own ride, and he did) as we got to his car, he opened his trunk to put in his groceries and pulled out a study bible for me to look at, Wow, I said…that’s nice – I’ve been looking into getting me a study bible. So as he put the bible back into the trunk, he finalized the plans for us to meet at the restaurant at 12:30pm that Saturday….I said okay, see you then and we parted ways.

That night in my prayer time with God – I told him what had happened (not that he didn’t already know, but sometimes God just wants us to talk to him) and I asked God a question that I had never asked him before about any of my relationships. “Lord, if this person is apart of your will for my life, then reveal it to me and if he isn’t, then reveal that to me also” I spoke to a couple of friends about it and let them know what was going on and left it alone (also something else I never did, talk to people about my relationships). Once Saturday came, I can’t say I was pumped but I was more feeling like I was going to meet a friend, I had purchased him a little gift (nothing much) just a token of my appreciation for him paying for the lunch (in which he said he was going to do).

To be continued…..next Sunday 2/18/18

 

This Week

If you’re liking this story, then hopefully you’ll like my other relationship blunders and bloopers in which I wrote about with fictional characters of course – since this is the month of “love and relationships” I thought I would share those dating experiences with you….so starting this Thursday 2/15/18 you’ll get a chance to read my 2 part story series entitled “I Will Wait Until God Says, It’s Time!” Hopefully it’ll make you laugh, think and if you’re currently single whether male or female and struggling with dating or finding the right one, then my hope is that you begin to seek God before you head into another “failed” relationship. Stay Tuned!!

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

 

Don’t have time to read? You can listen to this post on Soundcloud below; just push the orange button to play!

What Are You Waiting For?…Your Time Is Now!!!

I hope this video inspires you to stop waiting for that “perfect” moment to happen or take place because in reality – there are no “perfect” moments and there never will be. All moments, time, dreams and goals start with you my friend.

Don’t wait for it to happen – You have to get out there and MAKE IT HAPPEN!! You have the ability, so therefore you have no excuses!

Be Encouraged!

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

Sunday’s Thought: There’s An Audience Waiting on YOU!

America's Got Talent - Season 12

You know I love watching America’s Got Talent. It’s a show that showcases amazing acts, ranging in ages as young as 5 and as old as 80. It’s truly a show for “EVERYONE” and “EVERY” talent. These incredible acts perform their talents in front of an audience of thousands and a television of millions, they do acts that either no one else in the world have done or can do, some of them at least.

While some get moved on, others get buzzed or voted out – but the amazing thing about it is that no matter what talent these individuals have which ranges from the grossest to the most awe-inspiring; they perform in front of an audience that loves and appreciates what they do and if not in that audience, someone in the world embraces it and just like those contestants on AGT, You also possess a gift – Don’t let anyone tell you that no one would be interested in it or that no one would love to see something like that because guess what! There’s an audience for it somewhere.

In 2015 when the Lord blessed me to start JustsumInspiration; I had some takers and some misses; some people liked it and some people didn’t and over the course of over almost 3 years of writing/blogging and inspiring; I’ve had some people to “unlike the blog and Facebook page altogether.” It makes you sad, somewhat downhearted because you begin to think, was it something I said, was it something or was it something I posted? And then the nerves set in, I literally flipped out and began to look at my stats and my friend list to see whom bailed out – in which literally drove me crazy and kept me up a many nights.

When I stopped trying to create my own success, I had to come to grips and tell myself “This audience (Mine) isn’t for everyone” and everyone will not respond to the material given, not because they hate it but because it’s simply not for them.

Real People:  Bored Crowd Audience Stadium Sporting Event Mixed

So, I say to you – no matter what gift and/or talent you have; don’t get discouraged when people don’t respond the way you think they should, it could be that, they entered the wrong auditorium; but don’t allow that to make you give up on your craft or drive you bonkers because they left your audience. Give God those keys and let him begin to draw people to you. I’ve learned that when I take my focus off of things, God has a way of blossoming my gift in ways that I could have never imagined or done on my own. I had to leave it to God and let Serendipity happen.

My tip to you is: Keep being amazing, keep doing you and keep pressing forward….Because there really is an audience for your talent somewhere and they are waiting in anticipation to see your act! – DON’T GIVE UP! because YOUR GIFT/TALENT, REALLY IS NEEDED! 

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Blessings ~

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

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Remaining “SANE” in Singleness

I’ve often heard the phrase that there are at least 10 women to 1 man. Not only does this put the man at a great advantage having a good selection of women to choose from, but he has quite a few women he could possibly date, and all of them if he really wanted to.

But what about us women? The same ratio that proves to be so strong in the top paragraph for a man is a cat fight for a woman trying to get that one man to notice her. It’s sort of like those bachelor and/or bachelorette shows on T.V. where 30 or so women and men are desperately dying to get that one man or woman’s attention. The kicker is that he or she can only pick one, which leaves everyone else’s dreams of finding the ‘Perfect Guy or Girl’ shattered because now they have to attempt to find happiness and love elsewhere. Starting over again is a process that can drive you truly insane if you let it. Woman-Pulling-Hair-out

Let’s face it, we live in a world where if you haven’t gotten married, had a baby, or even had a guy during a particular holiday season or by a certain age; then society says “There’s something wrong with you” It’s even worse when your family members are constantly asking if you’re dating anyone. All of these issues will drive you insane while living the single life. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to find Mr. or Mrs.’s Right but if you rush it because of outside pressures from family, friends or society, then 9 times out of 10, you’re going to settle.

Here are a couple of things that you can do for yourself so you can stay sane in the midst of your season of singleness.

Tip #1   The Happiness Effect:

The world tells and/or has a way of showing us what happiness is from it’s perspective, most times it’s involving money, fame, relationships or popularity. But true happiness is not defined by what you have or don’t have; it’s defined by how you feel about yourself. What’s going on in your current world right now; what are your feelings about your life and where you mentally at this time? You may say, “Well that has nothing to do with anything” – But it has a lot to do with everything. Happiness attracts the right kind of people or things into your life. If you’re not happy, then you’re subject to attract whatever debris that washes up on the ocean front. I posted a quote on FB this week that says “If You Aren’t Happy being Single, You will never be Happy in a relationship – Get your own Life First, Then Share It. Just like a person whom doesn’t want to enter a dirty house that looks like every hurricane imaginable rummaged through it. It’s the same with a relationship, no one wants to enter a mess that was already in place……they want to enter into peace and tranquility but you must create that environment first, as it will not be created once you get into a relationship.

 

You don’t go into relationships to find Happiness, Happiness occurs before the relationship says “Hello” – R. Blackmon

 

Tip #2   Who Are You?

Do you know who you are? Most women or men get into relationships expecting it to complete and satisfy them; it’s sad to say, but most men and women enter into relationships as “broken pieces” whom expect the other to help heal and piece them together again. We tend to think “I’ll be okay, this relationship will make things alright, or I’ll be even happier if I was in a relationship. Getting to know who you are FIRST! will reveal things about yourself that you might didn’t even know. Once you discover who you truly are – then you’ll be able to identify those characteristics in a mate and determine whom you truly want to be with. You can’t know them, if you don’t know yourself.

Tip #3   Don’t allow your feelings to drive you to do something you’ll regret.

I’ve been on quite a few dating sites and if I can be honest, they’re all pretty much the same – you may have good intentions but everyone doesn’t follow that rule. Anyone can be whomever they wish or like to be on those sites. Singleness can cause us to do drastic things that lead to disastrous results. While some people have had good results; they don’t work for everyone, so be careful and don’t allow your lonely situation to kick you out of the drivers seat of your own life. Control It!

Tip #4   Focus on other things, instead of obsessing over it.

When you’re constantly looking for something, you never tend to find it but when you calm down and forget about it, then that’s when it seems to pop up out of nowhere. The same applies to singleness; when you stop looking for Mr. or Ms.’s Right and let it happen naturally, the unexpected miraculously happens out of the blue.

 

Good things not only comes to those who wait, but to those who least EXPECT IT! – R. Blackmon

 

Tip #5   Have you asked GOD Yet??

Have you consulted God about “Why you are Single?” – Okay, so before you decide to shut the page down and click the “x” sign, let me explain. This is a process that NO ONE wants to even ask God, because they’re afraid of the outcome or what he might say. “So, Lord? You want me to stay single for 5 more years?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Consulting God is best because he knows the true reason as to why you’re still alone. This answer is different and can be difficult for each individual. But I promise, if you consult God – then you’ll know what you need to work on in which could make Mr. or Ms. Right for  You come quicker. It’s almost like looking at your credit score, no one wants to face it but when you do, you realize that it wasn’t as bad as you thought and it’s a sort of a blueprint to help you get the things your truly desire. If you never work on it then you’ll never know what you could actually have.

Singleness is a crazy world all by itself; but you don’t have to lose your sanity during it. Remember, Singleness is not a death sentence and it doesn’t mean you should put your life on hold. Instead, it’s an opportunity for you to get in the driver’s seat and shape your own singleness destiny and let life handle the rest you might be really surprised at what it brings your way.

Stay Sane