Sunday’s Thought: Did He Just Stand Me Up?? Part 1

photo above courtesy of bing 

My dating life literally went down the tube last year; after years of yo-yo dating and really not acquiring “the one” I decided last year after my last attempt at trying to have a relationship, fizzled out to just go M.I.A with the dating scene. I mean, the relationship  was cool in the beginning but mid-way through I began to see a side of him that I knew wouldn’t be good enough to continue a relationship less known marriage. During that time, God had began to deal with me about my body and giving myself to him, those dealings soon lead me to become so convicted; I stopped cold turkey. Trying to explain that to him was an even bigger chore because he didn’t have a relationship with God, (at least not in the way that I have a relationship with him) so therefore I knew, he wouldn’t understand completely as to where I was coming from.

just don't get it

I knew it was God that was leading me away from that relationship as our time together became less and less and I became unusually busy as ever to try and travel an hour and some change away to see him – before, I would hop on the road with no problem; but soon found that increasingly difficult as the months passed by – soon what seemed like 1000 text messages a day to check up on each other, ended up being 1 text a day, if that and no phone calls. As our lives became like two ships sailing in the night, so did my communication with him – soon, I didn’t take notice to him at all, it was like we never met. But anyways…fast forward….

As God began to deal with me about my alone time, I got the feeling that maybe God just wants me to be alone this season. I suddenly realized that I didn’t’ want to be in a relationship and my new year’s resolution coming into this year was “I’m going to dedicate this whole year to God and not being in a relationship” which was a newbie for me, because when I looked back over my life – I noticed that I had “always” been in some type of relationship with someone, I had never had a year of where I didn’t date at all. So, feeling as if I needed a purge year – 2018 was my year to be “totally” single. I mean, I have two kids (teen and pre-teen) and they need my full attention with no distractions. Well, you know how when you say you’re going to do something and get your mind made up to do it – here comes the enemy with his many distractions, curve balls, twists and gimmicks.

I left work one night and before I reached home, decided to go into the store and pick up a couple of items as the kids were yet, out of school again due to the snow. While on the noodle isle, I seen this guy next to me but didn’t pay him any mind; suddenly he says “Those kids are out of school more than I was when I was growing up,” and of course I responded and said “You got that right!!” So, his conversation didn’t stop there – next thing you know he was telling me about himself, his job, where he was from and how he can’t seem to find the right woman – even though he’s a good man. I briefly told him my mishaps with dating of being the nice girl and finishing last and we laughed and kept conversing, so finally he said – you know what? I want to take you out on a date. I tell you what, the next time we bump into one another – we’re going out! I was a little puzzled because he never asked for my number and how did he know we would ever see each other again. I said okay, cool and we parted ways.

Well, as fate would have it – I had to go back into the store the next day. Prior to going in, I remember thinking to myself – how ironic would it be to see the same guy in here again. And as “serendipity” would have it – as soon as I walked in the store, there he was at the checkout. I couldn’t believe it! Really???, when he saw me – the first thing he said was OKAY, WOW!!! we’re going on a date!!! We conversed some more over the irony of our second visit and he asked, “So, where would you like to go” – I love seafood, so that’s where I suggested and he agreed. Upon leaving (he still didn’t get my number), we walked out (because I wanted to see if he had his own ride, and he did) as we got to his car, he opened his trunk to put in his groceries and pulled out a study bible for me to look at, Wow, I said…that’s nice – I’ve been looking into getting me a study bible. So as he put the bible back into the trunk, he finalized the plans for us to meet at the restaurant at 12:30pm that Saturday….I said okay, see you then and we parted ways.

That night in my prayer time with God – I told him what had happened (not that he didn’t already know, but sometimes God just wants us to talk to him) and I asked God a question that I had never asked him before about any of my relationships. “Lord, if this person is apart of your will for my life, then reveal it to me and if he isn’t, then reveal that to me also” I spoke to a couple of friends about it and let them know what was going on and left it alone (also something else I never did, talk to people about my relationships). Once Saturday came, I can’t say I was pumped but I was more feeling like I was going to meet a friend, I had purchased him a little gift (nothing much) just a token of my appreciation for him paying for the lunch (in which he said he was going to do).

To be continued…..next Sunday 2/18/18

 

This Week

If you’re liking this story, then hopefully you’ll like my other relationship blunders and bloopers in which I wrote about with fictional characters of course – since this is the month of “love and relationships” I thought I would share those dating experiences with you….so starting this Thursday 2/15/18 you’ll get a chance to read my 2 part story series entitled “I Will Wait Until God Says, It’s Time!” Hopefully it’ll make you laugh, think and if you’re currently single whether male or female and struggling with dating or finding the right one, then my hope is that you begin to seek God before you head into another “failed” relationship. Stay Tuned!!

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

 

Don’t have time to read? You can listen to this post on Soundcloud below; just push the orange button to play!

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NO! Is the New Sexy for 2018

photo above courtesy of bing

Hey You! Happy New Year!!!

I don’t know about you but I could have used another week of rest, 2017 came in as fast as it went out and honestly it went so fast until there are only a couple of things or months I should say that I really remember, let’s hope and pray that this year goes by a little slower because I can’t do Christmas again in 2 months….get it?…LOL!

Okay, so here we are in 2018 – Isn’t it exciting when a new year rolls around? It’s a fresh time in which we all declare for the 18th time that we’re going to finally get our life right! We make our list and promise to really stick to it this time – more than we did in years past and while we’re working on finally loosing those extra pounds, getting our finances in order and actually SAVE money this time around or get up the nerve to go back to school to get that degree, there’s one more thing that I am adding to my “resolved” list this year and that’s to exercise my right in saying NO!….let me explain..

Sometimes I can be a people pleaser and I’m easily pressured into doing things that I wouldn’t normally want to do….BUT!….because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or make someone feel bad or have someone not like me; I say YES. I constantly have to catch myself at times because I’m known to do things out of impulse because I feel that’s what people want me to do or I’ll stall on giving a complete answer and when I do say yes to something and my yes doesn’t work out, I hide in a corner or duck and dodge around to keep from facing the individual or the truth of the matter – all because I’m people pleasing.

people-pleaser

Recently, I asked a young man (he’s no more than 12 or 13yrs old) to wash my car. He washed it once before and did an amazing job, I mean he’s really good to be his age and if he keeps it up, I really see a bright future for him in business. However; when he came by the house, I asked him to come back the following Saturday and he could wash the car then; well as my luck would have it, I had the money but something more important took precedence over me getting my car washed that day. I didn’t know what to tell him because I knew he was coming, it was close to Christmas and he was looking forward to working to earn money, needless to say he didn’t come to the house until much later that day, I heard him knock on the door but I couldn’t open it to face him to tell him the truth. He came back a day later and knocked again and the following day after that and knocked again. With each knock, my heart pounded and I grew sorrowful and weary. I just couldn’t get up the nerve to face him to say “Look little guy, I can’t afford to pay you right now” simple words huh?, no – they’re really not. A couple of days later, I had a credit come into my account of a purchase that I had cancelled, it wasn’t much money and again, I had something else that I had to do with it, but the Lord began to deal with my heart and said “Follow peace with all men” even this young man.

While I didn’t have the money to really give him, I asked the lord to bring him by the house as I didn’t think he would come due to seeing my car sitting in the driveway but not receiving a response. He didn’t even have to wash the car, I just felt obligated to give him something for his time and that’s exactly what I did. The look on his face said everything and the yoke on my shoulder suddenly melted away. The lesson I learned in all of that is that things could have been a lot easier, had I just had the courage to tell him No or No, not right now.

Do you have trouble with telling people No? Why is that?

Listed below are just a few tips to consider when you have to say the treacherous “N.O.”

NO - 1

1. Who are you trying to Please?

The first thing you have to ask yourself is “Why am I saying Yes” If this is to please someone or if you feel that individual will like you if you less if you said No, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship with them. There are many people whom would love nothing more than for us to do what they want but you have to consider the person that means the most in this situation and that’s YOU & YOUR WANTS!

2. NO is Empowering!

You know what?, you have to protect yourself. Saying “Yes” all the time is not a good thing, don’t allow your mind or emotions to play tricks with you in thinking that saying No is a bad thing because it’s not. There’s only one you and if you don’t want something or are not feeling something or someone for that matter – it’s okay to say NO! This is your life, think of it as you being the president of your own world and you have to make the decision on what will pass and what won’t. What are you willing to allow and what are you willing to let go.

3. STAND UP!

Fear is the number one thing that keeps us from doing the things that we really want to do. I’ll tell you, I wasn’t always good about standing up for myself – I’d rather just sit and let the chips fall where they may, whether they were right or whether they were wrong because for so long I allowed myself to have a silent voice. If you don’t stand up for yourself, then who will. We live in a world where partially everyone is out to get what is rightfully theirs, so what’s stopping you from getting what’s yours including your voice back, it’s just waiting on you to open up and take charge.

This year, go after what you want for your life. It’s time out for allowing people to step all over you, It’s time to speak up and take control of your destiny. The word NO holds so much power in it and you have a right to use it, who cares if someone gets mad and who cares if they talk about you. You only get one shot to make a difference and that little bit of light at the end of the tunnel, could be held in two little words…..NO!

Now go get your NO, Sexy Back!

NO - 2

Thank you Martha Brown for this thought!

 

See ya in the next Post!!-1

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

 

Next Week-1Do you want to take your lunch to work more this year, than last year? Well, make sure you come back next week, I’ll be giving you some grocery shopping tips on how to meal prep for cheap and provide a delicious meal prep breakfast recipe from a certified trainer. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Preparing For The New Year — Sharon Simons

If you haven’t done it or thought about it by now, then I know it’ll be coming soon and that’s “Goals and Preparations for the new year. Whether mentally, physically or spiritually; with each coming year, we all get our minds set on moving forward in each, however; if we don’t really sit down and plan out how that move forward is going to take place, then we’ll find ourselves taking “junk” from the previous year into the new year, in which doesn’t make it so new, right?

I loved this post “Preparing for the New Year” by blogger – Sharon Simons. It’s a blueprint of questions as well as reflections of things that we all should be thinking about as we move forward into 2018. “What do you wish to leave behind this year”, “What goals didn’t you accomplish this year that’s on the top of your list next year.” Sharon shares her triumphs as well as her downfalls for 2017 and gives us all a mental look of what we should be thinking about as we all prepare to move forward. This post will not only give you something to think about but will get you geared up into moving forward with a new mindset as well. So, check out her post and grab your notebooks to take notes!!

Follow the highlighted link Below to read more of this thought provoking post…

Sharon Simons2

I love taking the time to reflect and think deeply about all my experiences over the past 12 months, harnessing the rare and fresh energy of a new year and using it to refocus myself. 2017 is coming to an end soon and I’m really grateful to God for his grace and love, this year […]

via Preparing For The New Year — Sharon Simons