photo above courtesy of bing
My dating life literally went down the tube last year; after years of yo-yo dating and really not acquiring “the one” I decided last year after my last attempt at trying to have a relationship, fizzled out to just go M.I.A with the dating scene. I mean, the relationship was cool in the beginning but mid-way through I began to see a side of him that I knew wouldn’t be good enough to continue a relationship less known marriage. During that time, God had began to deal with me about my body and giving myself to him, those dealings soon lead me to become so convicted; I stopped cold turkey. Trying to explain that to him was an even bigger chore because he didn’t have a relationship with God, (at least not in the way that I have a relationship with him) so therefore I knew, he wouldn’t understand completely as to where I was coming from.
I knew it was God that was leading me away from that relationship as our time together became less and less and I became unusually busy as ever to try and travel an hour and some change away to see him – before, I would hop on the road with no problem; but soon found that increasingly difficult as the months passed by – soon what seemed like 1000 text messages a day to check up on each other, ended up being 1 text a day, if that and no phone calls. As our lives became like two ships sailing in the night, so did my communication with him – soon, I didn’t take notice to him at all, it was like we never met. But anyways…fast forward….
As God began to deal with me about my alone time, I got the feeling that maybe God just wants me to be alone this season. I suddenly realized that I didn’t’ want to be in a relationship and my new year’s resolution coming into this year was “I’m going to dedicate this whole year to God and not being in a relationship” which was a newbie for me, because when I looked back over my life – I noticed that I had “always” been in some type of relationship with someone, I had never had a year of where I didn’t date at all. So, feeling as if I needed a purge year – 2018 was my year to be “totally” single. I mean, I have two kids (teen and pre-teen) and they need my full attention with no distractions. Well, you know how when you say you’re going to do something and get your mind made up to do it – here comes the enemy with his many distractions, curve balls, twists and gimmicks.
I left work one night and before I reached home, decided to go into the store and pick up a couple of items as the kids were yet, out of school again due to the snow. While on the noodle isle, I seen this guy next to me but didn’t pay him any mind; suddenly he says “Those kids are out of school more than I was when I was growing up,” and of course I responded and said “You got that right!!” So, his conversation didn’t stop there – next thing you know he was telling me about himself, his job, where he was from and how he can’t seem to find the right woman – even though he’s a good man. I briefly told him my mishaps with dating of being the nice girl and finishing last and we laughed and kept conversing, so finally he said – you know what? I want to take you out on a date. I tell you what, the next time we bump into one another – we’re going out! I was a little puzzled because he never asked for my number and how did he know we would ever see each other again. I said okay, cool and we parted ways.
Well, as fate would have it – I had to go back into the store the next day. Prior to going in, I remember thinking to myself – how ironic would it be to see the same guy in here again. And as “serendipity” would have it – as soon as I walked in the store, there he was at the checkout. I couldn’t believe it! Really???, when he saw me – the first thing he said was OKAY, WOW!!! we’re going on a date!!! We conversed some more over the irony of our second visit and he asked, “So, where would you like to go” – I love seafood, so that’s where I suggested and he agreed. Upon leaving (he still didn’t get my number), we walked out (because I wanted to see if he had his own ride, and he did) as we got to his car, he opened his trunk to put in his groceries and pulled out a study bible for me to look at, Wow, I said…that’s nice – I’ve been looking into getting me a study bible. So as he put the bible back into the trunk, he finalized the plans for us to meet at the restaurant at 12:30pm that Saturday….I said okay, see you then and we parted ways.
That night in my prayer time with God – I told him what had happened (not that he didn’t already know, but sometimes God just wants us to talk to him) and I asked God a question that I had never asked him before about any of my relationships. “Lord, if this person is apart of your will for my life, then reveal it to me and if he isn’t, then reveal that to me also” I spoke to a couple of friends about it and let them know what was going on and left it alone (also something else I never did, talk to people about my relationships). Once Saturday came, I can’t say I was pumped but I was more feeling like I was going to meet a friend, I had purchased him a little gift (nothing much) just a token of my appreciation for him paying for the lunch (in which he said he was going to do).
To be continued…..next Sunday 2/18/18
If you’re liking this story, then hopefully you’ll like my other relationship blunders and bloopers in which I wrote about with fictional characters of course – since this is the month of “love and relationships” I thought I would share those dating experiences with you….so starting this Thursday 2/15/18 you’ll get a chance to read my 2 part story series entitled “I Will Wait Until God Says, It’s Time!” Hopefully it’ll make you laugh, think and if you’re currently single whether male or female and struggling with dating or finding the right one, then my hope is that you begin to seek God before you head into another “failed” relationship. Stay Tuned!!
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
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