NO! Is the New Sexy for 2018

photo above courtesy of bing

Hey You! Happy New Year!!!

I don’t know about you but I could have used another week of rest, 2017 came in as fast as it went out and honestly it went so fast until there are only a couple of things or months I should say that I really remember, let’s hope and pray that this year goes by a little slower because I can’t do Christmas again in 2 months….get it?…LOL!

Okay, so here we are in 2018 – Isn’t it exciting when a new year rolls around? It’s a fresh time in which we all declare for the 18th time that we’re going to finally get our life right! We make our list and promise to really stick to it this time – more than we did in years past and while we’re working on finally loosing those extra pounds, getting our finances in order and actually SAVE money this time around or get up the nerve to go back to school to get that degree, there’s one more thing that I am adding to my “resolved” list this year and that’s to exercise my right in saying NO!….let me explain..

Sometimes I can be a people pleaser and I’m easily pressured into doing things that I wouldn’t normally want to do….BUT!….because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or make someone feel bad or have someone not like me; I say YES. I constantly have to catch myself at times because I’m known to do things out of impulse because I feel that’s what people want me to do or I’ll stall on giving a complete answer and when I do say yes to something and my yes doesn’t work out, I hide in a corner or duck and dodge around to keep from facing the individual or the truth of the matter – all because I’m people pleasing.

people-pleaser

Recently, I asked a young man (he’s no more than 12 or 13yrs old) to wash my car. He washed it once before and did an amazing job, I mean he’s really good to be his age and if he keeps it up, I really see a bright future for him in business. However; when he came by the house, I asked him to come back the following Saturday and he could wash the car then; well as my luck would have it, I had the money but something more important took precedence over me getting my car washed that day. I didn’t know what to tell him because I knew he was coming, it was close to Christmas and he was looking forward to working to earn money, needless to say he didn’t come to the house until much later that day, I heard him knock on the door but I couldn’t open it to face him to tell him the truth. He came back a day later and knocked again and the following day after that and knocked again. With each knock, my heart pounded and I grew sorrowful and weary. I just couldn’t get up the nerve to face him to say “Look little guy, I can’t afford to pay you right now” simple words huh?, no – they’re really not. A couple of days later, I had a credit come into my account of a purchase that I had cancelled, it wasn’t much money and again, I had something else that I had to do with it, but the Lord began to deal with my heart and said “Follow peace with all men” even this young man.

While I didn’t have the money to really give him, I asked the lord to bring him by the house as I didn’t think he would come due to seeing my car sitting in the driveway but not receiving a response. He didn’t even have to wash the car, I just felt obligated to give him something for his time and that’s exactly what I did. The look on his face said everything and the yoke on my shoulder suddenly melted away. The lesson I learned in all of that is that things could have been a lot easier, had I just had the courage to tell him No or No, not right now.

Do you have trouble with telling people No? Why is that?

Listed below are just a few tips to consider when you have to say the treacherous “N.O.”

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1. Who are you trying to Please?

The first thing you have to ask yourself is “Why am I saying Yes” If this is to please someone or if you feel that individual will like you if you less if you said No, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship with them. There are many people whom would love nothing more than for us to do what they want but you have to consider the person that means the most in this situation and that’s YOU & YOUR WANTS!

2. NO is Empowering!

You know what?, you have to protect yourself. Saying “Yes” all the time is not a good thing, don’t allow your mind or emotions to play tricks with you in thinking that saying No is a bad thing because it’s not. There’s only one you and if you don’t want something or are not feeling something or someone for that matter – it’s okay to say NO! This is your life, think of it as you being the president of your own world and you have to make the decision on what will pass and what won’t. What are you willing to allow and what are you willing to let go.

3. STAND UP!

Fear is the number one thing that keeps us from doing the things that we really want to do. I’ll tell you, I wasn’t always good about standing up for myself – I’d rather just sit and let the chips fall where they may, whether they were right or whether they were wrong because for so long I allowed myself to have a silent voice. If you don’t stand up for yourself, then who will. We live in a world where partially everyone is out to get what is rightfully theirs, so what’s stopping you from getting what’s yours including your voice back, it’s just waiting on you to open up and take charge.

This year, go after what you want for your life. It’s time out for allowing people to step all over you, It’s time to speak up and take control of your destiny. The word NO holds so much power in it and you have a right to use it, who cares if someone gets mad and who cares if they talk about you. You only get one shot to make a difference and that little bit of light at the end of the tunnel, could be held in two little words…..NO!

Now go get your NO, Sexy Back!

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Thank you Martha Brown for this thought!

 

See ya in the next Post!!-1

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

 

Next Week-1Do you want to take your lunch to work more this year, than last year? Well, make sure you come back next week, I’ll be giving you some grocery shopping tips on how to meal prep for cheap and provide a delicious meal prep breakfast recipe from a certified trainer. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Answering Work Emails On the Weekends? Yes or No…

I was talking with a friend recently and she began to discuss with me how her boss emails her on the weekends and this isn’t a once in a while occurrence – this is every single weekend, nonstop. As she began to describe the feelings of “job commitment” that comes over her when she taps the respond button, I began to think about how I too was in her same shoes and would answer all sorts of emails from work “on my weekends” and “days off” YES! you can say I was quite the committed employee. As someone whom wanted to always make a good impression with my boss; I later realized that I had taken on a whole lot more than I could chew.

Model employee you could say, but was that really coming across to my boss because I answered multiple emails on the weekends? Uhhh—–NO! One email answered at 10pm one night, changed my life forever. It was a night in which I had nothing to do and just happened to browse my work email (in which I had coming to my phone) and seen that my boss had emailed me to ask a question, to their surprise – I answered them back. “I wasn’t expecting you to answer this time of night?” they explained and I said “Oh, it was no problem.” While they assured me that answering emails after hours or on weekends was not necessary, I continued to do it and they soon took it as “This girl is available at all times” and used it to their advantage, not only them but multiple people after them. I had set myself up as the availability gal in which you could email at any time and get a response.

Work Emails3
Answering work emails during your “personal time” can become complicated

While this was fun and liberating at first, it soon became a nightmare. Suddenly I was getting emails at the most awkward times of the night or day. They usually trickled in during the time in which I was spending with family, friends or having a mental health day. What had I started!!, my life was beginning to turn into a 365, 7day a week, 24 hours a day job. I suddenly realized that I had no time for myself as I soon began going in to work on weekends, Sundays included and stay extra hours after work and to answer emails on top of all that —– My job seemed like it was becoming a never ending story. Once you put yourself out there to be the “IT” person – everything changes, including your personal life.

I abruptly decided one day to just shut down the email on my phone altogether. I also stopped going in on weekends and while I do have my current job email coming to my phone now, I only check it or respond when I feel it’s an emergency that needs to be handled right away. If not, then it can wait till Monday. You see?, I felt that if I answered emails on the weekends that it would make me a more valuable employee but what it made me was a robot. I never received any awards, recognition or cool points with the boss because I answered an email after hours or on weekends and my pay definitely didn’t change. So who was I really doing this for and why had I subjected myself to this task? Because I wanted to show my boss they could count on me – no matter what.

And while that’s all good, it wasn’t good for my health; sanity or livelihood – so something had to change and change FAST!

Do you feel obligated to answer work emails after hours or weekends? Well, if you’re feeling the pressure – Don’t worry, just take the necessary steps below:

Just Say No

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There’s no harm in saying NO!

Don’t get me wrong, we all work jobs in which we want to be relevant and deemed as a good employee but there has to be a line crossed somewhere. When we constantly say YES to everything our boss shoots our way, we put ourselves in position to not have feelings, a say or an opinion about anything. It’s okay to say NO sometimes. Especially if it’s going to interfere with your life outside of the workplace or office. They can’t fire you for saying NO.

Have a Conversation with the Boss

USA, New Jersey, Jersey City, Business man and woman arguing
Check with your Boss to see what their idea of after hours entails

You might want to see where your boss stands on how they want you to respond to emails during your off hours and is it a requirement. Personally, I used to have a boss that would send me emails after hours but only because if they didn’t do it right away, they would forget to and working at night was sort of their down time in which they used to respond to emails. So, get your bosses opinion on what they would like you to do concerning it. You may also want to let them know that your off hours and  weekends are very busy. Express the fact that if they do send an email, you may not respond until the next workday. This will let your boss know your stance on after hour emails and that they should not expect a response.

Expectations, Expectation, Expectations – Watch Out!

Word Expectations on ascending arrow above bar graph
The more you put yourself out, The more will be expected of you.

Ever noticed how when you do something for a person one time – they tend to take advantage of you doing it that one time and consistently come back to you again and again expecting you to do the same thing? That’s how we can become when we give of ourselves more than we should. It’s okay to be nice and kind but at the end of the day, you’re required to perform your job duties (that’s what you get paid for) anything in over excess to that can lead people to expect more from you than you’re willing to give. Only give what you can afford to give away because your time is precious.

Self-Care is the Best Care

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Self Care will Save your Life

Whether it’s concerning work or anything else that may be pressing in your life. You must take care of yourself, including your sanity. I’ve been on jobs where I’ve over exhausted myself trying to prove or show how good of an employee I was and at the end of the day, I was the one with the swollen ankles, extreme headache and body aches. I was literally stressing myself out, while I made others feel comfy, cozy. Just as your boss needs their time, so do you. You’re no good to them, the business or organization if you’re spazzed out, stressed or in the hospital. Learn to turn off your email notifications from work or just don’t answer them at all. While that may be hard to do (because it was for me) you have to realize that you’re only one person and if something happens to you; will they come to your aide? No…(yes they’ll be concerned but the job must and always will go on, whether you’re there or not)

That’s sad to say, but in reality – we only get one life, one chance and one opportunity to make the best of it as much as possible and I can think of a million things for you to do besides answering that annoying email message from you know who. Life is short my friend and those after hour/weekend emails can wait…Life, unfortunately cannot.

All images used were courtesy of Bing ~

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!