Photo above courtesy of bing
So one might would deem me as being an around the way girl, if I told them how many times I have gone around and around and around….with relationships, these relationships with men have been a roller-coaster to say the least. In the process of me trying to FIND the right man I went through some doozies, I could say other names but I’m a Christian and it wouldn’t be allowed to come from my lips. During that period of time I noticed that I was in an ON again, OFF again relationship with God in which I prayed a lot…..got in a relationship…..prayed less and still……..got in another relationship, things were not looking good, If I had only WAITED on God, half of my life experiences would be obsolete; if only life was a big eraser, oh the things I would erase. But I’m so glad that I had those experiences as it has allowed those trials to become my Triumphs in getting to know me better, what I was really desiring in a man and most of all to gain a closer walk and/or relationship with Christ.
Those experiences have given me the unique opportunity to talk to you. I wrote this as a play and even performed it in church some years ago. Yes, the story you are about to read is a true story of my dating experiences (characters changed) through the years, so whether you’re in an active relationship at the moment, Married, Divorced, Single – Single and a Virgin waiting for marriage or have been around the dating way like I have, hopefully there will be something within these pages that will minister to you to either give you hope to move on from a broken relationship or how to WAIT on God for the perfect relationship that he has for you (notice I said PERFECT) there’s no such thing as the perfect man, but the man that God has for you will be perfect for your situation, your lifestyle and your relationship with God – which won’t hinder it but help it.
Be Blessed & Keep WAITING! I know it’s been a long time, but trust me it’s worth the wait.
HELP! HELP! HELP!
I am so good when it comes to making sure I step up in the corporate world called “my career” I want nothing but the best job, the best pay, and flexible hours and I won’t take down to nothing less. I am such the goal-oriented woman whom accomplishes both short and long-term goals set for my life in record time. I am a good giver to my young brothers and sisters in need and I am a great counselor at giving others good sound advice for their dating relationships and their lives. I strive to encourage them to make good healthy productive decisions that will keep them moving forward and not backward. So tell me? Why am I clueless when it comes to dating and the relationships I choose? I just keep getting into problem after problem, It all started when I went on a date last week with a guy named Robert, whom I met through my best friend Stephanie I mean she knows me pretty good, so I trusted she knew what I wanted in a man. She said he looked good, so she gave him my number. He called me, “he sounded good, I mean really good on the phone” I got all happy, but silly at the same time, because he asked me could I meet him at his house, we would leave from there. Hesitantly I said okay…but my instincts were shouting “Wrong Move.”
It’s been 6 months since I’ve been out on a date, I called myself taking a breather to get to know me and what I really wanted out of a relationship, so thinking I had gotten myself truly together I finally decided to give the dating scene another go round.
So today I got my hair, nails and toes done “yes my toes”. I wanted to be perfect for this date; I went the whole nine yards. When I got to his house he came out wearing this dirty white wife-beater shirt, some old, looked to big for him baggy pants and some timber’s not timberland’s because these shoes looked like they had gone out of style with the polyester pants era. He also looked like he had not had a hair cut in 2 years I imagined, and then had the nerve to have a comb sticking out of it. I stood there in amazement because I looked like beauty and he was definitely the beast. And if his attire didn’t take the cake; come to find out he doesn’t have a car; my car was going to be our source of transportation for the night. Now that was strike number two; and I should’ve left then, But no, I was lonely, desperate, and hoping that maybe something good would come out of this nice evening, despite his current situation.
So we took my ride, and here I was thinking we’re going to go somewhere nice and elegant like Justin’s, Olive Garden, Red Lobster or someplace like that, especially since I spent all day beautifying myself. “So where are we going.” I asked. “Oh I thought we’d go to McDonalds.” say he’s kind of short of change, by this time I was getting short of patience, then had the nerve to tell me to “order something cheap, “hard times ya know.” I was thinking to myself well just how hard have times gotten, I mean isn’t minimum wage $7.25 an hour? I was devastated and upset at myself for continuing this date and my friend for setting me up with him.
Come to find out as our minimal conversation progressed, that prospective job at the Law Firm ended up being a job beside the law firm collecting cans and raffling tickets, and that 2008 Yukon he didn’t have ended up being a banged up 1964 Nova that was just impounded last week. Telling me what he used to be and what he used to have and how he bought this home and car (might I add) for the last girl he was with. I mean what; I guess good times just stopped when you got to me huh.
Can you picture me sitting up in McDonald’s sporting a $200.00 dress with some Baby Phat Carmen 03 pumps and an $85.00 hairdo? People looking at me like I had a problem, and I did, a whole lot of problems.
So when I finished my Apple pie and “small” orange pop, I hurried up and took him home! I couldn’t bear another moment of his depressing scenario. All at the same time I was thinking to myself “Lord if you get me out of this one, I promise I will WAIT! On you.”
But I didn’t wait……………Big Mistake.
The following week I met a guy named Steven, No I did not meet him through my friend Stephanie after that ordeal with Robert I decided to leave her alone. So I thought I would try and hook myself up with someone after all who could know exactly what I want in a man than me right?….Wrong.
Well I just happened to be at the Gas Station pumping gas when I heard this deep voice behind me say…
“You sure look good doll.” He said.
I turned around and low and behold standing before me was the most handsome man I had ever seen; I mean Billy Dee Williams had nothing on him, now Denzel Washington well that’s another story. But anyway, he was tall and light skinned with a nice frame to him, very broad shoulders, with the most gorgeous brown eyes.
And unlike Robert, he did know how to dress. He had on this Sean John jacket with a white shirt underneath and he wore some nice Sean John jeans with some Karl Kani boots (these were the real things). He must have a little something, something.” I thought to myself, it’s about time.
“Hello, my name is Steven,” He said, smiling.
“My name’s Bernice.” I said,” blushing and smiling all while turning my face to the right where my dimple shows, right as we began to talk another car pulled up behind us blowing his horn because he now needed to use the gas pump. Oh I had totally forgotten about the gas. So as I walked inside to pay, he said…
“I’ll pay for the gas, do you mind?” taking out his wallet.
(“Now you know this is too good to be true.” I thought.)
Before I could say “Oh no I got it” I said, “Yes you may.” before I knew it. “Don’t sound desperate.” I kept telling myself. My mind was saying this but my actions were saying go right ahead.
We exchanged numbers and he asked if I could call him right away when I got home, certainly I said. As I watched him walk away I noticed that he did not look too bad from behind either… “Okay quit lusting.” I said to myself. But as much as I wanted to hurry home and call him, I just stood there because I really wanted to see what type of car he was driving or if he even had one.
To Be Continued….2/22/18
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
Hey, please stay tuned for part 2 of: “Did He Just Stand Me Up?” Part 2 – COMING SUNDAY @ 12noon.
You wouldn’t believe what happened next….
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*Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are fictitious and have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals once involved.