What was I going to wear today, what shoes was I going to where today, earrings, what purse to carry? Oh what was I going to do with my hair. I definitely need Dr. Miracle .. to bad he really doesn’t come out of the mirror with products for your “do” because I could really use his service this morning.
Photo source/Pinterest/Blackart
Well today has arrived, a day that I have been looking forward to for a week now. It has been a long 5 weeks for me and I really do not know how I am going to get through this day …. But I will relax, relate, release or at least that’s what I keep telling myself but for some reason one of those R’s were not working today. As I fumbled through the closet to try and find a matching shoe. My mother came to my mind again, I think of her constantly, she was my confidante , we talked everyday on the phone; I could have just hung up the phone from talking to her for 4 hours and then something would come on TV and there I go calling her back and talking to her about that, Especially if it just happened to be something on HGTV or The Maury show.
We loved the decorating shows and those surprising paternity test results. We would talk about how the girls ought to have been ashamed coming on stage with 5 different men, Or how those color walls and floors does not match each other, “Did you see that house they picked?” Why did they pick that couch! We could and would go on and on. My mother was my very best friend, I knew that I could call on her for anything. She always told me and my brothers that we could talk to her about anything and it would not go no further than her. She was an Angel, she was our mama and we loved her dearly. I finally found something to wear after pulling out over 10 ensembles, I narrowed it down to a Black pant suit with a pink silk halter to go on under the jacket. Out of all the colors that I have ranging from red to green to blue and even purple I had to choose the black, so typical. I finally got myself together and did one last look over in the bathroom mirror before I left out (okay you look fine, I whispered). I can’t even think about eating this morning even though I so badly want to grab that Fiber One Bar on the counter and I almost did but my nerves got the best of me and I quickly re-directed my hands toward the back door.
My car was parked on the side of the house. I looked down at my watch, 10am. Wow, where is the time going. As I got into the car I took another glance in the mirror, okay you look fine I told myself once again, now agitated. I started the car and began to back out of the driveway when a flashback of my first driving experience flashed across my mind like lightning. Mama, bravely agreed to take me for a driving lesson – I’m sure it’s a day that she didn’t too soon forget because in trying to make a quick turn, I forgot to let the steering wheel go so that it could adjust itself and ran the both of us into a short ditch a mile up the road from our house. Thank God for the people that stayed some yards up from the incident, they ran out of the house to help us. Mud was so deeply embedded into the tires until it was hard to steer now. Mama took over the wheel and guided us safely back up the road to the house. I have to say mama never tried to teach me how to drive again after that. Instead when my older brother Taye came home in the summer’s from college that became his new summer task.
As I was leaving out of the driveway and making my way down the highway, mama’s death played in my mind like a record, I knew this would happen today even though I tried to erase it from my mind and just think on this event alone, It welled up in my mind like a balloon, Mama was young when she died she was just 60. Kidney Failure took her away from me. She had been on dialysis for the past 5 years, she had become so weak and fragile.
Photo source/Fineartamerica/Xueling Zou
I did everything I could to take care of her even quitting my job to make sure that she had the best of care, even though the nurses came in 3 times a week, I just wanted to make sure that she was comfortable and had everything that she needed. Before she passed on she told me one day to go to her closet and get down a orange shoe box that was in the top right hand corner of her closet. I did as I was told to do and went and looked for the box; after moving what seemed like more than 100 boxes I finally seen the orange bright box. I got it down and took it to mama whom was sitting on the couch looking so weak and tired, this saddened me deeply. The last thing I wanted was to watch my mama die a slow wrenching death right before my eyes. I brought her the orange box, she told me to open it and get out a brown envelope, I did as she asked; the brown envelope was laying right on top of some other papers underneath it. I felt mama’s cold hand now touching my hand, I turned to look at her looking at me with sad eyes.
I want you to open this once I am gone she told me. I was shocked, what was in this brown envelope that mama did not want me to open until after her passing, I was really confused at this point. I hope and pray that you will not be upset with me honey, everything was done for your good she told me. I was anxious to see what was in the brown envelope, but I dared not open it. About 4 weeks after that, mama died. I had gone out to the store to get her some ice, only to come back to be told that my mom had just passed 10 min ago. I believe she knew she was going and did not want me around to see her. That was the saddest day of my life. After mama’s funeral I was numb, I did not want to shower, take off my clothes or anything, all I wanted to do was just lie in the bed. As I reached my nightstand drawer, I opened it and there was the brown envelope staring me in the face. I hesitated at first to open it. But I remembered mama’s words and opened it anyways, out came some thick papers and a note that read:
Dear Angela,
If you are reading this letter then that means that I have gone on to be with the Lord. I just wanted you to know how much I love you and was so honored to have you in my life darling, you brought me so much joy. The day I got you I knew that you were special. Me and my husband couldn’t have any more children after the boys and I so desperately wanted a girl. So, we adopted you from this very nice couple, she was 15 – still in school and couldn’t take care of you, Her name is Virginia. She was the young lady at the Piggly Wiggly that day, you know, the couple that didn’t have the money to pay for the groceries? Once I realized that, that was your mom I knew I had to help her, afterall – she made my wildest dreams come true by giving me you.
She never wanted anything from me, I had not seen her since she left the hospital when you were born. I tried to reach out to her on several occasions but she was hesitant to accept offerings from me because of what she had done. When our eyes locked in on each other in the store, I knew I had to help. When I slipped her and her husband the money that day, it also contained my telephone number. We stayed in contact after that day, she would come around when I would throw you parties – but you wouldn’t have noticed her as she always kept a distance, but she was there. Unfortunately, she’s sick now and needs help. Her husband died 3yrs ago in a car accident and she has no family, but you.
Please make sure that her monthly bill is paid at the Daily Living complex as I have kept this up for her ever since her husband passed on. Please forgive me for not sharing this with you sooner, but your real mother was never in a place to where she was ready to meet with you; she was so, so young when she had you and never really got herself together to fully take care of you like she had hoped or desired. She knew one day that you would find out and would probably want to meet her. Sadly, sweetie – this is your opportunity. Don’t hate her, but love her – you’re the only family she has now. She had a couple of other kids, but lost them due to horrific miscarriages. I just want you to know, that it was never my intention to keep you from your birth mother – hopefully after reading this, you don’t hold any grudges against me either.
But you’re my baby girl and I know with hearing this news – you would understand my heart. Take care of your mother, I know you’ll see to it that how ever many days she has left here on earth will be her best days – just as you did for me, when you arrived in my life…
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of the author – Roshonda N. Blackmon
photo source above and all pictures below provided by pinterest/blackart
Original story by Roshonda N. Blackmon
Intro:
The meeting is a story of a woman whom is struggling loss and the memories of her mother whom she soon discovers has kept a startling secret from her all these years.
It’s the last Thursday of the month and I thought I’d end it with a surprise, thanks to my little sister Driftyness – go check out her blog, if you get a chance. I didn’t know what I was going to write about and then she completed her Sunshine Blogger Award nomination and talked about how her favorite post of mine was the one & two part “I Will Wait Till God Says, It’s Time” play that I wrote and I was like, you know what? Why not do another one…
His car turned out to be a Black Lincoln Navigator with chrome wheels, sunroof and everything I mean it was loaded. Bye, Bye Baby I said as I waved to him. Oh Lord I said to myself “could this be my baby daddy”? I jumped in my car and sped all the way home.
When I got home I hurried up and threw the keys down and called him right away, just as he requested, forgetting all about getting comfortable and everything, the phone rang 5 times before I heard his voice say….
“Hello,” in a whisper.
“Hello, why are you whispering?” I asked.
“Oh my grandmother is sleeping and I don’t want to wake her.”
“Grandmother?” I said.
“Yes, she’s living here with me; it’s just the two of us.”
(“A man with a home of his own and a great caregiver!)
What more could you ask for. “I thought.”
“That is very sweet Steven, so tell me a little about yourself.”
“What do you want to know?” he asked.
“Well anything, like what are your interest to start.”
“There aren’t many.” he replied.
“Well not even one?” I said.
“Um, can you hold on for a minute.” he said.
I said okay, but I was kind of hesitant, his conversation was great at the gas station and now I can barely get 2 words out of him, almost like he was trying to hurry me off of the phone. Next thing I know I was talking to a woman.
“Who dis is?” She said.
“Who is this?” I stated.
“Katrina, Stevens’s woman, Now your name and why are you calling my man.” she said smartly.
(“Oh no this sista didn’t.” I said to myself).
“My name’s Bernice and Steven gave me this number to call him.” I said.
Steven! I heard her say aloud, “Why you have these females calling my place all times of night!!”
(“Females? What?…All times of Night!?!)
(Okay what was going on, and where was Steven I wondered!!)
“Hello.” She said.
“Uh….Yess.” I said confused.
“Honey I don’t know when or what Steven told you, but he’s off limits, Stevens my man; Shoot, I been waiting on him for 8 years.”
“8 years?” I said.
“Oh, he didn’t tell you? Child Steven was just released from prison two weeks ago.
“What?!!? I said to her.
“Um Hum.” She said profoundly. Honey Steven doesn’t have a pot or a window to throw it out of; he’s living here with me and my grandmother.”
“Your Grandmother!” I said to her.”
“Oh let me guess, he told you she was his grandmother and this was his place?”
“Yes, he really did” I said.
“Child please, Steven is a compulsive liar and a cheat, He has 8 children and 4 of them are by me.” She so proudly made known.
By this time I could not take another line of this drama. I can’t believe it!! I said aloud. Excuse Me? She said. I wanted to ask her “Well why are you with him?” and it slipped out before I knew it. “Honey?, do you know how hard it is to find a man?”
(“Girl please!, yes I do.” I said to myself.)
Girl, I’m so lucky to have Steven, after all he does come home to me every night, so I don’t mind his ways. I suddenly began to think, “Are men really that scarce?” Well I will let you go and I do apologize about the misunderstanding.” I told her.
“Um…Hum, Now you need to lose this number.” she said, and hung up on me!”
Don’t worry its already forgotten sista-girl. I should have known better, I really thought I had hit the jackpot with that one, but apparently not. Thank ya Lord for allowing me not to get entwined in that drama showcase.
You know as I sit here in amazement and confusion I cannot help but think back on all the guys that have come and gone in my life, which brings me to Anthony whom apparently loved using my perfume for some reason. I noticed one morning the smell in the bathroom resembled so closely to my Patti Labelle and I know that I didn’t use her that day myself.
Low and behold, he came out of the bathroom and as soon as I leaned in to hug him, there Patti was all around his neck…Oh my God, Is that my Patti LaBelle perfume you’re wearing? I asked. Yes, But Baby I didn’t have anything else to put on he suggested, but looked very puzzled as if I should not be asking him about it; like I was not suppose to notice or something. He went to work that day and I had to let him go. Could you imagine me sharing my perfume with him in the mornings? What would it have been next, Hairstyles and nail color?! I don’t even think so.
Then there was Ahmad whom claimed he was a pro-athlete. Yeah right, I never saw him on TV or magazines. Come to find out he meant he was an athlete in high school, which happened to be 12 years ago. Ahmad would say and do anything to lay his greasy, played out, 1984 gone out of style juicy curl head on somebody’s pillow. Ahmad was okay; he just had some life issues and problems, 34yrs old and no job to his name. I supported him for about 3 months, which was 3 months too long.
Ahmad was more like a child in my opinion, every time we went to the store “can you get me this; can you buy me that.” G.I. Joe toys in which I didn’t know still existed, Ken dolls, water guns, bubbles, toy trucks and cars and the list goes on. And food, oh my God, it was always junk; I began to think he never ate a home cooked meal. Chips, Ice cream, cakes, cookies and pies filled the cart and people use to always compliment us on how we made such a nice couple, do you have any children?
Yes, I wanted to reply, he’s standing next to me. Instead I politely smiled and said no, if they only knew. Besides Christmas was approaching and I just wanted someone to spend time with, you know how it gets around that time “LONELY” especially if you are by yourself.
But as quick as Ahmad came into my life that is just how he left, I woke up one morning to find him gone. He left me a little note God bless his heart for the spelling:
He meant “Left gone to live with my mama.” Honey your mama can have ya and good ridings; I can endure spending the holidays alone which is exactly what I did. I have to say though, I was surprised Ahmad didn’t stay for Christmas to get more toys, but maybe his mama was buying him a lot more. After all maybe that is why he loaded up that day at the store, we had already spent Christmas together I just didn’t realize it. And last but not least there was Kevin, we started off sweet, but ended sour. He left his girlfriend just to be with me, I thought that was so sweet. But I began to notice every time he left the house I would awake to find something missing. First it started with the milk then the cereal, my pots and pans, the box of grits, bacon and then my car? That was a big HALT!!!! . “Sharonneeded a ride and my mama needed some food.” He said.
(“Oh no this brotha didn’t.” I thought)
Sharon was his supposedly ex-girlfriend. Come to find out Sharon was 5 months pregnant with his baby and the food he was taking from my house was for her and the baby. But he wanted to continue to live and shop at my house? I don’t think so homeboy, you did the crime now do the time. After he left I got my locks changed just in case he took an extra key out with him, next thing you know I’ll awake one morning to 3 new housemates Kevin, Sharon, and the Baby.
You know? After last weeks date with Robert and the crazy dispute I had with Steven and his girlfriend, you would think I would have learned something and my dating days HISTORY!! But Nooo….here I go again about to go out on another date, probably with someone else’s man, a looser, scrub, or money pincher.
But you know sitting here thinking about all this just made me realize that right now God is the only one I need and want in my life at this present time. So with that in mind there is only one thing to do (picks up phone, dialing her date) Hello, James, Yeah I’m canceling our date tonight, you know what I decided?….
“I’m going to wait until God says, “It’s MY Time”
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are fictitious and have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals once involved.
So one might would deem me as being an around the way girl, if I told them how many times I have gone around and around and around….with relationships, these relationships with men have been a roller-coaster to say the least. In the process of me trying to FIND the right man I went through some doozies, I could say other names but I’m a Christian and it wouldn’t be allowed to come from my lips. During that period of time I noticed that I was in an ON again, OFF again relationship with God in which I prayed a lot…..got in a relationship…..prayed less and still……..got in another relationship, things were not looking good, If I had only WAITED on God, half of my life experiences would be obsolete; if only life was a big eraser, oh the things I would erase. But I’m so glad that I had those experiences as it has allowed those trials to become my Triumphs in getting to know me better, what I was really desiring in a man and most of all to gain a closer walk and/or relationship with Christ.
Those experiences have given me the unique opportunity to talk to you. I wrote this as a play and even performed it in church some years ago. Yes, the story you are about to read is a true story of my dating experiences (characters changed) through the years, so whether you’re in an active relationship at the moment, Married, Divorced, Single – Single and a Virgin waiting for marriage or have been around the dating way like I have, hopefully there will be something within these pages that will minister to you to either give you hope to move on from a broken relationship or how to WAIT on God for the perfect relationship that he has for you (notice I said PERFECT) there’s no such thing as the perfect man, but the man that God has for you will be perfect for your situation, your lifestyle and your relationship with God – which won’t hinder it but help it.
Be Blessed & Keep WAITING! I know it’s been a long time, but trust me it’s worth the wait.
HELP! HELP! HELP!
I am so good when it comes to making sure I step up in the corporate world called “my career” I want nothing but the best job, the best pay, and flexible hours and I won’t take down to nothing less. I am such the goal-oriented woman whom accomplishes both short and long-term goals set for my life in record time. I am a good giver to my young brothers and sisters in need and I am a great counselor at giving others good sound advice for their dating relationships and their lives. I strive to encourage them to make good healthy productive decisions that will keep them moving forward and not backward. So tell me? Why am I clueless when it comes to dating and the relationships I choose? I just keep getting into problem after problem, It all started when I went on a date last week with a guy named Robert, whom I met through my best friend Stephanie I mean she knows me pretty good, so I trusted she knew what I wanted in a man. She said he looked good, so she gave him my number. He called me, “he sounded good, I mean really good on the phone” I got all happy, but silly at the same time, because he asked me could I meet him at his house, we would leave from there. Hesitantly I said okay…but my instincts were shouting “Wrong Move.”
It’s been 6 months since I’ve been out on a date, I called myself taking a breather to get to know me and what I really wanted out of a relationship, so thinking I had gotten myself truly together I finally decided to give the dating scene another go round.
So today I got my hair, nails and toes done “yes my toes”. I wanted to be perfect for this date; I went the whole nine yards. When I got to his house he came out wearing this dirty white wife-beater shirt, some old, looked to big for him baggy pants and some timber’s not timberland’s because these shoes looked like they had gone out of style with the polyester pants era. He also looked like he had not had a hair cut in 2 years I imagined, and then had the nerve to have a comb sticking out of it. I stood there in amazement because I looked like beauty and he was definitely the beast. And if his attire didn’t take the cake; come to find out he doesn’t have a car; my car was going to be our source of transportation for the night. Now that was strike number two; and I should’ve left then, But no, I was lonely, desperate, and hoping that maybe something good would come out of this nice evening, despite his current situation.
So we took my ride, and here I was thinking we’re going to go somewhere nice and elegant like Justin’s, Olive Garden, Red Lobster or someplace like that, especially since I spent all day beautifying myself. “So where are we going.” I asked. “Oh I thought we’d go to McDonalds.” say he’s kind of short of change, by this time I was getting short of patience, then had the nerve to tell me to “order something cheap, “hard times ya know.” I was thinking to myself well just how hard have times gotten, I mean isn’t minimum wage $7.25 an hour? I was devastated and upset at myself for continuing this date and my friend for setting me up with him.
Come to find out as our minimal conversation progressed, that prospective job at the Law Firm ended up being a job beside the law firm collecting cans and raffling tickets, and that 2008 Yukon he didn’t have ended up being a banged up 1964 Nova that was just impounded last week. Telling me what he used to be and what he used to have and how he bought this home and car (might I add) for the last girl he was with. I mean what; I guess good times just stopped when you got to me huh.
Can you picture me sitting up in McDonald’s sporting a $200.00 dress with some Baby Phat Carmen 03 pumps and an $85.00 hairdo? People looking at me like I had a problem, and I did, a whole lot of problems.
So when I finished my Apple pie and “small” orange pop, I hurried up and took him home! I couldn’t bear another moment of his depressing scenario. All at the same time I was thinking to myself “Lord if you get me out of this one, I promise I will WAIT! On you.”
But I didn’t wait……………Big Mistake.
The following week I met a guy named Steven, No I did not meet him through my friend Stephanie after that ordeal with Robert I decided to leave her alone. So I thought I would try and hook myself up with someone after all who could know exactly what I want in a man than me right?….Wrong.
Well I just happened to be at the Gas Station pumping gas when I heard this deep voice behind me say…
“You sure look good doll.” He said.
I turned around and low and behold standing before me was the most handsome man I had ever seen; I mean Billy Dee Williams had nothing on him, now Denzel Washington well that’s another story. But anyway, he was tall and light skinned with a nice frame to him, very broad shoulders, with the most gorgeous brown eyes.
And unlike Robert, he did know how to dress. He had on this Sean John jacket with a white shirt underneath and he wore some nice Sean John jeans with some Karl Kani boots (these were the real things). He must have a little something, something.” I thought to myself, it’s about time.
“Hello, my name is Steven,” He said, smiling.
“My name’s Bernice.” I said,” blushing and smiling all while turning my face to the right where my dimple shows, right as we began to talk another car pulled up behind us blowing his horn because he now needed to use the gas pump. Oh I had totally forgotten about the gas. So as I walked inside to pay, he said…
“I’ll pay for the gas, do you mind?” taking out his wallet.
(“Now you know this is too good to be true.” I thought.)
Before I could say “Oh no I got it” I said, “Yes you may.” before I knew it. “Don’t sound desperate.” I kept telling myself. My mind was saying this but my actions were saying go right ahead.
We exchanged numbers and he asked if I could call him right away when I got home, certainly I said. As I watched him walk away I noticed that he did not look too bad from behind either… “Okay quit lusting.” I said to myself. But as much as I wanted to hurry home and call him, I just stood there because I really wanted to see what type of car he was driving or if he even had one.
To Be Continued….2/22/18
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
Hey, please stay tuned for part 2 of: “Did He Just Stand Me Up?” Part 2 – COMING SUNDAY @ 12noon.
*Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are fictitious and have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals once involved.
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