It’s the last Thursday of the month and I thought I’d end it with a surprise, thanks to my little sister Driftyness – go check out her blog, if you get a chance. I didn’t know what I was going to write about and then she completed her Sunshine Blogger Award nomination and talked about how her favorite post of mine was the one & two part “I Will Wait Till God Says, It’s Time” play that I wrote and I was like, you know what? Why not do another one…
So, without further ado – I present for your reading eyes and listening ears, if you choose to listen to this on soundcloud and hear my acting skills at work…wink, wink…lol. Here’s an original work that I wrote entitled “Broken Pieces” – It’s short but I hope you enjoy it.
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Wow, It’s Amazing; this time, this moment, the season has come to where we finally meet again. I never thought that I would say this, but I’m happy to be here at this time and at this moment. As I stand here nothing but bad memories form in my mind and in my spirit of you, I have to say there’s nothing good that I can really say about you.
Do you know that because of the Hell you put me through I’m just now getting to the point where I can finally say I’m beautiful? Finally at 30 years old I can laugh again. I’m no longer a prisoner. I feel so FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
But there was a time when I wasn’t so free; do you know how much you hurt me? Did you even realize or fathom that I had feelings too? I was soooo Afraid of Life, I was so Afraid of You!!
The constant lies and deception, the promises you never kept!
The, “I’ll be home in a minute” that turned into 2 days of wondering where you were and was it really me you meant to call to say that to.
And God, the day I lost our firstborn child, that was so tragic – But you weren’t even there to give me comfort and solace. You told me to pull up my big girl draws, you’ll have another one – you said sarcastically; we already got two, you should be happy – you gloated. So, I tried to make myself happy and schedule regular family time nights but they ended up being empty promises – as you never showed up. Those nights ended up being filled with unanswered questions and blank stares and let’s not forget the beatings I took because you had a bad day?, what about me!! I had many bad days and long nights, working 2 jobs, one with a twelve hour shift just to support our family!
You’re a mean, hardhearted, low-down dirty Bastard! – There I said it. You were ugly and treacherous, I hated you for the nights you raped me without asking, the days you made me feel like less of a woman in front of your friends. But now I don’t have to worry about that anymore. Now I have the last say, I just wanted to get those things off my chest.
I want you to know that through all the hurt and anguish, I really did love you, I just hate that you didn’t appreciate it. You know?, I guess it’s true what they say; Positive things do come out of negative situations because I’ve learned that I’m not a bad person; I’ve learned that I do deserve love. But most of all? I’ve learned to love myself and that’s a gift that no one………can ever take from me – not even you anymore.
So, Lamar Antoine Jacobs Rest In Peace and May God have great mercy on your soul…
(Blows a kiss to the casket; turns and walks away slowly)
© Roshonda N. Blackmon, All Rights Reserved
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