EnSpired: Science Says “Curvy Women Make Men Happier in Marriage. FOR REAL!?!

 

photo above courtesy of pinterest/ Photography: @kendralynece | Dress: @tailormadebridal #prettypearbride

Okayyyyy….so I got just a little wee bit excited when my friend Deborah sent me a link to a post entitled “Science Says That Men Who Marry Curvy, Plus Size Women Are Happier!” I wanted to put the WHOLE title out there so you can see for yourself that I’m not “making this up”. While I wonder about science sometimes and their other questionable predictions. I was quite taken back by this statement, so you know I couldn’t wait to read it as my curiosity heightened and I instantly went into Gary Coleman mode asking —- “What you talking bout Science!”

Gary-Coleman-as-Arnold-diffrent-strokes-18022862-640-480
photo: Gary Coleman/Different Strokes/”What You Talkin bout Willis”

Being a single, pronounced “curvy” girl myself, I often wonder if maybe the reason I get passed up by guys is because perhaps I do have a little extra weight around the midsection and thigh area. As a curvie (a cuter term I like to use), I’ve always been obsessed with trying to lose weight, either by taking every diet pill known to man  or literally killing myself in the gym for months (only to lose 2pds!!). While some of those “fixes” worked for a “season” – the weight always seemed to come back with a vengeance as if to say “Girlfriend?, I know you ain’t trying to get rid of us!! and magically threw an extra 15-20pds my way as a parting gift”

So, when I saw this article – I have to admit, it gave a girl a little hope.

curvy-girl-fashion-plus-size-fashion
photo: bing/curvy

You may be wondering, how in the world did science come up with this “men are happier in marriage with a curvy girl” analogy. Well, let me break it down for you. The results came by way of a study conducted by Dr. Filemon Alvarado and Dr. Edgardo Morales of the National Autonomous University of Mexico’s Department of Psychology. Their study found that men that were in relationships with plus-sized women not only smiled a lot more but also found it easier to work through problems compared to men in relationships with slender women.

They went on to diagnose that curvy women are more positive and less aggressive which had a major impact on their partner. Per the findings of the study, the curvy women involved were less strict and very open-minded towards relationship goals.

Listed below are a few points from men who are or were in relationships with curvy women on why they were or are happier.

  • They’re funnier and tend to laugh more.
  • They’re foodies (Gosh knows, they got me here) – Men want to chow down on their food and tend to want a woman that wants to eat.
  • The women are sweeter.
  • The women don’t put more pressure on their partners to lose weight.

These were just a few statements, but I have to say – while I was very elated by the title of the article. In reality, we live in a world where curvy girls are not the “norm” for a relationship and we struggle daily with loving ourselves as well as our bodies. While we may seem confident about our natural “curves”, deep down we hurt because no matter how cute we are (in which we’re always told, we have a pretty face) we still get scrutinized for being “curvie”, “fuller” or downright “heavy”

While the article may have been a boost to our self-esteem; my fellow curvies; let’s not use the “science” prediction in this article to let ourselves go or put our guards down for the sake of a relationship/marriage proposal. I mean, who wouldn’t want to marry us – we’re FABULOUS! and it doesn’t take an article such as this to tell us that! It doesn’t matter what science says or doesn’t say. Know who you are, Love who you are and delight in being AWESOMELY, YOU.

So, to all my CURVIES in the world – LOVE YOU, BE YOU AND DO YOU BOO! 

tumblr_otgmcytEMW1r10liyo1_400

 

 

ROSHONDA N. BLACKMON

Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

 

 

Feel Free to Follow Me on These Sites5_ (2)

Advertisements

The Dating Game – Christian Style

photo source above and below courtesy of bing/dating 

This post topic was submitted by my online little sister Driftyness ❤. Drifty is an ambitious, loving, passionate and faith filled young lady. She’s a grad student, who’s also a  phenomenal writer. She blogs about goals, life, school and little golden nuggets that will have you giving more thought about your own journey. Give her blog some love and I promise you’ll get some back in return. 

Continue reading “The Dating Game – Christian Style”

Sunday’s Thought: Why does the Right thing, Feel like the Wrong Thing?!

photo credit above: bing/relationships

A couple of years ago, I suffered an emotional break-up; I knew the day was coming over prior to, but when it finally arrived, I had the hardest time dealing with it.

“Have you ever felt like you’ve outgrown a relationship? Or Felt like you wanted to go in a different direction than where they wanted to go?”

Usually when I have these feelings, I suffer through and stay with the relationship only to be dissatisfied and miserable later. It’s like I know what I want – I just have a hard time communicating that to a man (mainly) because I don’t want to hurt their feelings or there’s a lack of self-esteem on my part in thinking that I either can’t, nor deserve anyone better – so I usually settle for the first flight going South with the many detours and layovers, feeling that it’s MANDATORY for me to deal with something that I actually have the power to say “NO” to – But too afraid to say it.

Related Topic: Here Comes The Builder 

When I got into the relationship, I was at a low place in my life – My self-esteem was shot and I felt as though there was no hope in the world; I literally felt like life had come to a complete stop for me as if I was at the train station waiting on the next train but kept missing the “Now Boarding” signal.

missed-train

Why did I get with someone whom has to totally depend on others for complete care? Why did I say “Yes” we can date to someone whom can’t really help me out? Once I came to my senses that I deserved better (and this was hard to do, because I never thought of myself as wanting or needing something better) as I always became comfortable with the scraps of life. I finally got the courage one day to tell him “NO” & while that was liberating and I knew what I wanted and the reason why we didn’t need to be together – My emotions took over while we were apart and I found myself going through what I call “The Relationship Detox”

myemotions

Relationship Detox is just like a Detox program (whether it’s drug related, a weight issue or something else) Detox, is a way of ridding your body of the bad toxins that you put in it. When a person decides to go through Detox – everything is fine in the beginning, as they’ve accepted the terms and conditions of what they will be going through in the process and for that moment. Feelings of confidence and energy rushes through your body and you begin to think, this is going to be a piece of cake, but that feeling quickly wears off once the Detox begins and suddenly that thing you felt like you could do without – slowly creeps in and makes you regret giving it up in the first place.

It’s almost like your brain stays on REPEAT, constantly playing all the “good” moments of the relationship, you stay there with your popcorn and soda and watch ALL the good times you’ve shared, all the laughter, the pictures, the cards given, the hugs, the many I LOVE YOU’s and the smiles you had; which makes DETOX that much more difficult to go through ….but then you accidentally hit the fast-forward button and see all the bad times, the hard times, the crying, the misunderstandings and all the chaos and craziness that got you to this point. Although the brain wants us to stay on the good times, we have to come to grips with moving on and potentially starting over without them.

Although I knew it was the right thing to do, I still questioned myself daily on if I really made the right decision at all and began to second guess my actions:

  • Maybe things weren’t that bad.

  • Maybe I was totally over-reacting about the relationship and really need him.

  • What if there is no one else out there for me and he really was the one and I pushed him away.

  • I still want to call him, should I or shouldn’t I. How would that make me look.

  • Did I really Love him?, If so then why am I here and he’s way over there.

Questions, Questions, Questions – we will always have many questions regarding our actions, but you have to stay true to who you are, what you want and what type of relationship you want. I can tell you what you don’t want and that’s to RELAPSE! – relapse pushes us 50ft back and most times depending on the situation, doesn’t guarantee a successful ending which can be detrimental to your health, mind, body & soul. Wrong Feels RightThat’s where God has to step in; for the enemy doesn’t want you to succeed; he wants to keep us stagnated. While our heads are in the clouds; he’s constantly robbing us blind of our JOY, HOPE & SELF-WORTH. If he can get you to keep your mind on carnal things – you’ve not only given him an inch; but the whole mile to your emotions.

While things in our life may feel wrong – It could actually be the right thing; my suggestion is to pray about everything because the enemy is busy and would love nothing more but for you to “relapse” – while detoxing may not feel good; it doesn’t last forever. A lot of times, it’s not that people are bad; it’s just that they are not the right puzzle piece for you, sort of like that piece of the puzzle that looks like it fits into the puzzle space because it looks like the same shape but when you go to place it in that slot, it doesn’t fit – so you try to squeeze it in and make it fit anyway.

Our emotions, while good in some instances – can lead us wrong in other circumstances. The bible says in Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and Lean not unto thine own understanding, In ALL thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy paths. Notice how ALL is underlined because even through emotional, unsure and testing times – We have to put our total trust in God and know that he has our best interest at heart and will take us through the roller-coaster of Detox.

That relationship was not the right one for me and during that time I had to check into God’s rehab center to redirect my focus on HIM and off of him. If you’re feeling perplexed by a decision, put it in God’s hands – because he has a way of turning that wrong feeling, into a right one.

decisions-flower-life-right-wrong-Favim.com-185633

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

 

Feel Free to Follow Me on These Sites5_ (2)