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Make Time For Who?….YOU!! – Simple Self-Care Tips For The Busy Person In Us All.

Published on April 25, 2019May 9, 2019 by Roshonda B6 Comments

Feature Image: Bing/Huffpost UK

I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard the statement above quite a plenty in my life time. So, what do people mean when they say “Take Care of Yourself” it’s literally a statement that seems to be said more than it’s done because in reality, How many of us really do it?

Which brings me to my next question: “How does one really take care of themselves?”

Most people tend to think Self-Care is all about the loofah’s and the lotions and going on some expensive spa date with the girls or guys and don’t get me wrong, that’s a part of it – but it’s not the WHOLE cake of the matter, if you can see that analogy. It’s just the icing; the outer part but it doesn’t begin to touch the core of what self-care really is.

I love this statement/quote – in which pretty much sums it up.

Self-Care is not Selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.
Eleanor Brownn with 2 N’s – eleanorbrownn.com

We’re ALLLL busy, I mean every single one of us. If we’re not engulfed in our careers, thinking about how to make money, raising a family together or alone, taking care of an ill parent, parents or child, trying to be a good friend or trying to fit in with the “in” crowd, managing our own health (if we don’t overlook it trying to make sure someone else manages theirs…been there?) or just catering to everyone else’s need except our own…..self-care can be pushed to the back burner when it comes to our own sanity.

Sometimes after giving so much of ourselves to others, there’s literally only one thing left for us and that’s “THE BED!” because we’re too burned out to do anything else. I get it, life gets busy and when it does, it seems to never stop. However, if you don’t take control of LIFE…? I’m sure you can finish that sentence, right?…

The tips below are not new or rocket science, but they are tips that I use to take command over life, even if it’s just for 5 min. Maybe they’ll be able to help you too OR get you back on track to taking care of the person that matters the most and that’s YOU! (And No, that’s not selfish to say)

Self-Care involves:

The Mind

You’ve heard the saying “A MIND is a terrible thing to waste” and it’s true, especially when it comes to self-care. It’s amazing how we exhaust our mental capacity on things that ruin our day or mood. It doesn’t help the case either when we consistently think about it or go to sleep with it on our minds. The older I’ve gotten I realized that I have to protect my energy and my mind when it comes to negative thoughts, negative images, negative news and NEGATIVE PEOPLE! (see how I bolded that last statement). We have to choose our battles wisely…even the more when it comes to our mental health.

MIND Suggestions:

Turn off the news (it’s always negative) and I’ve determined that watching too much of it, ruins my mood and effect my sleep pattern.
Have you heard of Luminosity? I love this game, it’s a fit game for you mind. It has a lot of little puzzles that challenge your cognitive thinking, it’s a mindless activity that gets my mind off of other things.
A cross word puzzle, puzzle or other word games are good to play to keep your mind sharp.
Last but certainly not least, meditation music or just taking 5 min, even if it’s after work in your car. Tends to work wonders for your mental sanity.

The Body

Our body is the first thing that feels the effects of any stress that we may endure or have going on. It’s a shame that we neglect it often and push it past it’s limits just to do the things “we” deem as necessary. My mom used to always say “You don’t ever want your body to become your enemy” and boy was she right. It can turn on you at any second, in which is why it’s a good thing to take care of it, after-all; we only get one of them.

BODY Suggestions:

Plan a walk. I tend to be more motivated when I have people that are willing to do this with me, but taking a walk is always a good destresser.
A little sun doesn’t hurt – as an African American woman I’ve been told by doctors that we don’t get enough sun, in which is why we have to take high dosages of Vitamin D. But a little sun in your face or down your back is good, if you can stand it =)
Massages are LIFE! – I always tell people, if I get a little extra or if God sees fit for me to get a little money….I would personally hire a masseuse! Massages are great for your body and relieves stress, it’s also good for the mind too.
Oh and eating healthy is always a good choice for your body!

The Soul

Your soul is very, very important. It’s good to be able to connect with a higher power. Whether you believe in God or not – spiritual renewal, prayer, meditation, reading scriptures or listening to a good inspirational or motivational sermon, teaching or talk always brings balance to your inner core, which most times is the beginning of everything. If we can get our soul in order, it tends to make everything else come to order as well. I like to spend time with God, reading scripture or just listening to meditation music or gospel songs, this tends to mend me back together on the inside and reflects positively on the outside.

SOUL Suggestions:

Donate to your favorite charity, it’s nothing like being able to give back instead of always take.
Watch the clouds – Yes, you read that right. It’s something about looking up at the clouds that’s so spiritual and good to me. I have a favorite spot at my job that I go and do this on my lunch break or just getting up from my seat to go take a break. It’s the first place I go, it helps to do this because we’re high up. I just stand there and look and most times I’m talking to God. It’s a small thing, but I find such peace and tranquility just looking out that window and looking up.
Ever eat or drink alone? – Going places alone to some people may seem a bit daunting, but it’s actually good. It’s just you and you alone with your thoughts and plans. This gives you time to think about what your goals are, what goals you’ve met and what you need to achieve. And you can’t always do that when people are constantly talking or needing your “undivided” attention.

So, there you have it! As stated these are simple suggestions that you can do or start practicing today. Life, as crazy as it is will have us rushing, ripping and running to get somewhere and it will keep this cycle up as long as we allow it. Learn to discipline yourself long enough to take a breather. Don’t rush home from work every day, maybe sit in the car turn on some music and eat that leftover sandwich from lunch (literally just did this the other day). Just let your mind, body and soul relax.

Now, say it with me “Who’s your most favorite person in the world?” Don’t be shy, I know you want to say it and just in case you forgot? IT’S YOU BOO!! So, go and really “TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF!” because 30 min or an hour A Day? Keeps the Insanity at Bay!

Do you have any Self-Care tips that you do to stay balanced? Share them Below.

Pumpkin Spice & Everything Nice: It’s Time for The Great Pumpkin!!

Published on October 1, 2017September 29, 2017 by Roshonda B2 Comments

Oh Wow! October is officially here ya’ll (in my very southern Arkansas roots voice), I cannot believe it as it seems like it was just last month when the year started and only yesterday when the summer kicked off. Where has the time gone?

With the way these months are flying by, Christmas will be at our front steps on tomorrow, Yikes!! But, let’s slow it down a bit – because it’s October right now, so let’s get our pumpkins, spiced tea, coffee, rakes and cookbooks, Hold Up…

Just in case you’re giving me a serious side-eye right now

Yes, your cookbooks! – now that October is here, this is the special time of year to whip up some yummy recipes. In which is what this months posts will be all centered around.

As if you didn’t get the feeling of the changing of the season already, everywhere you go; whether to the grocery store or Starbucks, everything is about the great pumpkin. The stores are definitely making sure everyone gets their dose of “Pumpkin Fever” and to add some extra spice to the rolling pumpkin phenomenon…I decided to welcome in October with a celebration of Pumpkin recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. Oh Yes, I cannot leave out dessert!!

Yes, October is going to officially get an extra dose of inspiration spice! The recipes I’ve picked out are very simple and all contain things that you may very well already have in your cabinet or fridge. I will also give my “first take” of all these delicious recipes as I will not only be dishing them and the sites I got them from out to you but I’ll also be trying them out for myself so I can give you my honest opinion of each.

Listed below are the recipes in which you can expect to see this month:

The Great Pumpkin Pie Smoothie

We’re going to give the green smoothie a kick to the sidelines for a moment as we go completely orange.

There’s a Pumpkin in my Oatmeal!!

Okay, so maybe the smoothie (whether green or not) is just not your thing in the mornings and trust me, I totally understand that. So why not a good ole’ bowl of rolled oats with a little surprise. Pumpkin Oatmeal anyone??

It’s Fall, So Why Not Fall for Some PUMPKIN SOUP!

Who doesn’t enjoy a good, warm bowl of delicious soup; after all, that’s what Fall is all about. Hopefully you’ll fall in love with this recipe.

A Twist on a Southern Classic – Pumpkin Mac & Cheese

Since being pre-diabetic, there aren’t a lot of pasta dishes that I can do without it affecting my sugar levels, but I’m hoping this southern classic will finally give me my life back.

You Scream, We Scream – We all want Pumpkin Ice-Cream!!

Ice-cream is my favorite dessert of all time and while I can’t have too much of it, this recipe will not only be a healthy indulge but pleasing to the waist line as well.

And just in case you’re saying – “I hate Pumpkin” or “It looks funny” or “Why would I want to eat that! and give it the BOOT!, Pump your brakes as pumpkin is the best thing you can eat. It’s not only a great facial mask but it also provides the following healthy benefits:

Makes your bones Stronger
Keeps our digestive system in tip top shape
Helps to reduce PMS Symptoms
Maintains Prostate Health
Good for Diabetic Patients
Controls HBP (High Blood Pressure) levels
Provides Sound Sleep

And a host of other benefits in which you can check out at Good Health All – you’ll be amazed at what a little orange can do for your overall health and well-being. So, while I sit in anticipation to try out these different recipes and look out for one of my favorite Charlie Brown classic of “It’s the Great Pumpkin – Charlie Brown” by Charles M. Schulz

So sit back, sip on your favorite “pumpkin” drink and watch the leaves fall. In the meantime, we’re getting geared up and ready to send a bunch of YUM your way.

Happy October!!

P.S. Did I mention that there will be a giveaway also this month?, Tune in to each post to find out how to enter!!

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

Remaining “SANE” in Singleness

Published on April 27, 2017 by Roshonda B8 Comments

I’ve often heard the phrase that there are at least 10 women to 1 man. Not only does this put the man at a great advantage having a good selection of women to choose from, but he has quite a few women he could possibly date, and all of them if he really wanted to.

But what about us women? The same ratio that proves to be so strong in the top paragraph for a man is a cat fight for a woman trying to get that one man to notice her. It’s sort of like those bachelor and/or bachelorette shows on T.V. where 30 or so women and men are desperately dying to get that one man or woman’s attention. The kicker is that he or she can only pick one, which leaves everyone else’s dreams of finding the ‘Perfect Guy or Girl’ shattered because now they have to attempt to find happiness and love elsewhere. Starting over again is a process that can drive you truly insane if you let it.

Let’s face it, we live in a world where if you haven’t gotten married, had a baby, or even had a guy during a particular holiday season or by a certain age; then society says “There’s something wrong with you” It’s even worse when your family members are constantly asking if you’re dating anyone. All of these issues will drive you insane while living the single life. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to find Mr. or Mrs.’s Right but if you rush it because of outside pressures from family, friends or society, then 9 times out of 10, you’re going to settle.

Here are a couple of things that you can do for yourself so you can stay sane in the midst of your season of singleness.

Tip #1 The Happiness Effect:

The world tells and/or has a way of showing us what happiness is from it’s perspective, most times it’s involving money, fame, relationships or popularity. But true happiness is not defined by what you have or don’t have; it’s defined by how you feel about yourself. What’s going on in your current world right now; what are your feelings about your life and where you mentally at this time? You may say, “Well that has nothing to do with anything” – But it has a lot to do with everything. Happiness attracts the right kind of people or things into your life. If you’re not happy, then you’re subject to attract whatever debris that washes up on the ocean front. I posted a quote on FB this week that says “If You Aren’t Happy being Single, You will never be Happy in a relationship – Get your own Life First, Then Share It. Just like a person whom doesn’t want to enter a dirty house that looks like every hurricane imaginable rummaged through it. It’s the same with a relationship, no one wants to enter a mess that was already in place……they want to enter into peace and tranquility but you must create that environment first, as it will not be created once you get into a relationship.

You don’t go into relationships to find Happiness, Happiness occurs before the relationship says “Hello” – R. Blackmon

Tip #2 Who Are You?

Do you know who you are? Most women or men get into relationships expecting it to complete and satisfy them; it’s sad to say, but most men and women enter into relationships as “broken pieces” whom expect the other to help heal and piece them together again. We tend to think “I’ll be okay, this relationship will make things alright, or I’ll be even happier if I was in a relationship. Getting to know who you are FIRST! will reveal things about yourself that you might didn’t even know. Once you discover who you truly are – then you’ll be able to identify those characteristics in a mate and determine whom you truly want to be with. You can’t know them, if you don’t know yourself.

Tip #3 Don’t allow your feelings to drive you to do something you’ll regret.

I’ve been on quite a few dating sites and if I can be honest, they’re all pretty much the same – you may have good intentions but everyone doesn’t follow that rule. Anyone can be whomever they wish or like to be on those sites. Singleness can cause us to do drastic things that lead to disastrous results. While some people have had good results; they don’t work for everyone, so be careful and don’t allow your lonely situation to kick you out of the drivers seat of your own life. Control It!

Tip #4 Focus on other things, instead of obsessing over it.

When you’re constantly looking for something, you never tend to find it but when you calm down and forget about it, then that’s when it seems to pop up out of nowhere. The same applies to singleness; when you stop looking for Mr. or Ms.’s Right and let it happen naturally, the unexpected miraculously happens out of the blue.

Good things not only comes to those who wait, but to those who least EXPECT IT! – R. Blackmon

Tip #5 Have you asked GOD Yet??

Have you consulted God about “Why you are Single?” – Okay, so before you decide to shut the page down and click the “x” sign, let me explain. This is a process that NO ONE wants to even ask God, because they’re afraid of the outcome or what he might say. “So, Lord? You want me to stay single for 5 more years?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Consulting God is best because he knows the true reason as to why you’re still alone. This answer is different and can be difficult for each individual. But I promise, if you consult God – then you’ll know what you need to work on in which could make Mr. or Ms. Right for You come quicker. It’s almost like looking at your credit score, no one wants to face it but when you do, you realize that it wasn’t as bad as you thought and it’s a sort of a blueprint to help you get the things your truly desire. If you never work on it then you’ll never know what you could actually have.

Singleness is a crazy world all by itself; but you don’t have to lose your sanity during it. Remember, Singleness is not a death sentence and it doesn’t mean you should put your life on hold. Instead, it’s an opportunity for you to get in the driver’s seat and shape your own singleness destiny and let life handle the rest you might be really surprised at what it brings your way.

5 Common Mistakes Women Must Give Up, To Get the Man of Thier Dreams

Published on April 13, 2017 by Roshonda B3 Comments

Relationships are hard work alone & Dating with all of its rules, guidelines and catch phrases is another monster, all it’s own. So, how do you obtain a good relationship, less known get a date?, I mean what is it that you could be saying or doing that seems to not be attracting the right person. If you’re wondering if your looks or appearance could be the reason, think again! Most dating mistakes happen the moment we open our mouths, Yes! our mouth could be the very reason most of us, Fall short in Dating and Fail at Relationships.

In my early dating stages, I can tell you – I was a wreck and my mouth posed to be an even bigger risk. I felt as if I had to tell a guy everything about me, my past, my future, my expectations along with my goals, dreams, fears, hurts, habits and hang-ups and this was just on the phone; we hadn’t even gotten to the first date yet. I used to wonder why I would either never get a call back or if they did call back, it wasn’t talks of going out on a date, it was because they were bored and I just seemed to be the person they either wanted to vent too or just talk too. Yes, I was a good friend; but not a good partner for a relationship. I even had one guy to tell me that I reminded him of his grandmother – LIKE, REALLY???, I had to take a good look in the mirror on that one – was it my words of wisdom that had him traumatized?, whatever it was; it didn’t garner a date and then again, I don’t think I would have wanted one with him after that comment. I also had an issue with not totally being myself; I tried to fix myself up to be whom I felt like the guy wanted me to be, I lost weight; dyed my hair; bought creams to make my skin lighter and even wore hair extensions to obtain a longer length of hair and I’m not going to even talk about other crazy things I would do and/or did just to obtain a guy’s attention….Trust me, as I’ve gotten older, those things weren’t worth my sanity nor time. I never fully let my hair down to be me, because I was trying to be with them. Over time of not “catching too many fish on the hook” I realized that there was one thing that was holding me back from getting a chance of having a date; outside of not being myself, I realized that MY MOUTH! was the ultimate hammer that nailed the coffin shut. Yes, here I was talking marriage, babies, future and goals to someone whom I didn’t even get a chance to see if they were that interested in me or not; however, they knew I wasn’t’ the one for them. So as a woman who was in limbo with dating, those experiences have garnered me to write out a couple of mistakes I made and that you may be making too. So, let’s get started with a couple of Do’s and Don’t s:

Tip #1: LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THYSELF: I underlined & capitalized this for a reason. Please ladies, let’s show love to ourselves first. Love your curves, your mind, your choices. Just love you. I can’t tell you how many times, I jumped into a relationship looking for love but didn’t love myself. When you love you, then you take the pressure off of a guy having to force himself to love you back. When you love you – then everyone else will love you too and even if they don’t; guess what! Who Cares! because you love you and that’s the first and only thing that matters anyway.

Tip#2: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself: Yes, that was a popular song in the 90’s but it’s even popular for us ladies. Listen to your gut, we know if we’re really ready for a relationship or not. Most of us still need a little fixing on the inside of us first before we are able to invite someone else in. If you have low-self esteem or are not comfortable with your weight, then I would suggest you try to fix those things before entering into a relationship. Men like confident women and if you’re not displaying that, then the relationship will plummet before it takes off the runway.

Tip#3: No Need To Pack The Bags: When you’re on a date or before you even go on a date determine to leave the bags of the past in the past. A guy doesn’t need to know that you were once depressed, was suicidal, was married (unless it’s a topic of discussion) he doesn’t need to know about baby daddies and all those issues. Shh!, Keep those things to yourself (at least until you feel like the relationship is going somewhere after you’ve had enough dates with the person) A first date should be about you, career goals and aspirations. Not Drama! So keep that bag at home.

Tip#4: Knight In Shining Armor…Not!: Okay, so sometimes we ladies tend to get a little movie struck. We sometimes look at how relationships are played out in a movie and desire for that to happen in our own lives, let’s get real. It’s a Movie with actor and actresses whom are or were paid to act that way. They were reading a script. Just because the guy comes in with a cane, doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy or just because he doesn’t look like your favorite actor, doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. Give everyone an opportunity. They just may surprise you.

Tip #5: Keep The Cookie In The Cookie Jar: Make sure your hormones are in check before you go on a date. There’s a number of people whom have sex on the first date and what’s even more common is the fact that it’s unprotected. Let a guy fall for your mind first, not what’s in your pants. Building a relationship based off of sex; usually does not last. When sex supersedes a conversation and becomes your first foundation; it’s hard to get back on track with a good convo. So keep the cookie under lock and key. Whatever decision you make regarding the individual you want to make sure it’s based on true emotion and not a sexual one in which could cloud your judgment immensely concerning the person, especially if he has a lot of red flags that require your full undivided attention.

And guys, I didn’t forget about you – the same effort you put into getting the “cookie” can also be the same effort you put into having a good, healthy relationship. Here are some tips for you to look over in order to get the Woman of your dreams and keep her long enough than a one-night stand: 5 Things Men Must Give Up, To Be With the Right Woman!

Do you have any dating tips you would like to share? List them in the comments so we can get a conversation going.

SELF-HELP APRIL IS COMING!

Published on March 31, 2017 by Roshonda BLeave a comment

Do you need help with an area in your life, or have questions about an on-going problem you are facing?
Well, Help is on the way!

For the whole month of April, I will be posting blogs giving advice on some of the questions that I’ve been asked to talk about. They are sort of “Self-Help” tips that will hopefully get you back on track to either living the life you want to live or give you a peace of mind as you continue to travel on your journey of self-discovery. Listed below are the topics that will be discussed during the month:

Rejection sucks, BUT Life Doesn’t Have Too.

Rejection, Unfortunately is a word that no one likes to encounter. Rejection may be a bad word, but it doesn’t have to be a death sentence. I will give you a couple of tips to endure it.

5 Things Women Must Give Up to Get The Man of Their Dreams

We all have issues, men and women alike. But if you are having trouble obtaining or keeping a relationship because of “issues” then I will give you 5 tips that maybe you are doing that’s keeping you from having a healthy relationship.

BEING A FRIEND TO HAVE FRIENDS

In order to gain friends, you must first be friendly. Finding a friend that you can relate too is difficult, but what if your attitude is the determining factor in you not having the friendships you so desire. I’ll share my story and give you a couple of tips that will hopefully allow you to open the door and began to let people in.

How to remain “SANE” in Singleness

Being single can sometimes be a drab, Most singles waste their good energy on trying to find Mr or Mrs. Right – someone in hopes that will complete them, but no matter how hard we try to find that “perfect mate” We must first be in a good place ourselves. I’ll give you a couple of “Do’s and Don’t s” to keep you calm in the process.

So, be on the lookout every Thursday morning in the month of April for a Self-Help Blog Post. Please feel free to share and comment.

Because Self-Help is definitely the BEST HELP!

If you’ve been following me on Facebook, then you’ll know for the month of January and February we were doing a study on the names of God. Well, If you missed any of it – NO WORRIES!, I have a booklet that I created for you. If you would like a copy, please send me your request to justsuminspiration@gmail.com and I’ll send you a copy.

Talk Soon!

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration