SELF-HELP APRIL IS COMING!

Do you need help with an area in your life, or have questions about an on-going problem you are facing?
Well, Help is on the way!

For the whole month of April, I will be posting blogs giving advice on some of the questions that I’ve been asked to talk about. They are sort of “Self-Help” tips that will hopefully get you back on track to either living the life you want to live or give you a peace of mind as you continue to travel on your journey of self-discovery.  Listed below are the topics that will be discussed during the month:

Rejection sucks, BUT Life Doesn’t Have Too.

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Rejection, Unfortunately is a word that no one likes to encounter. Rejection may be a bad word, but it doesn’t have to be a death sentence. I will give you a couple of tips to endure it.

5 Things Women Must Give Up to Get The Man of Their Dreams

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We all have issues, men and women alike. But if you are having trouble obtaining or keeping a relationship because of “issues” then I will give you 5 tips that maybe you are doing that’s keeping you from having a healthy relationship.

BEING A FRIEND TO HAVE FRIENDS

ELEPHANT

In order to gain friends, you must first be friendly. Finding a friend that you can relate too is difficult, but what if your attitude is the determining factor in you not having the friendships you so desire. I’ll share my story and give you a couple of tips that will hopefully allow you to open the door and began to let people in.

How to remain “SANE” in Singleness

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Being single can sometimes be a drab, Most singles waste their good energy on trying to find Mr or Mrs. Right – someone in hopes that will complete them, but no matter how hard we try to find that “perfect mate” We must first be in a good place ourselves. I’ll give you a couple of “Do’s and Don’t s” to keep you calm in the process.

So, be on the lookout every Thursday morning in the month of April for a Self-Help Blog Post.    Please feel free to share and comment.

Because Self-Help is definitely the BEST HELP!  
If you’ve been following me on Facebook, then you’ll know for the month of January and February we were doing a study on the names of God. Well, If you missed any of it – NO WORRIES!, I have a booklet that I created for you. If you would like a copy, please send me your request to justsuminspiration@gmail.com and I’ll send you a copy.
Talk Soon!
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration

Can Someone Please Pull Me Out of this Funk?

Soooo, lately I’ve been feeling pretty – let’s say “unaccomplished.” It seems like no matter what I do, I seem to be moving backwards instead of forwards. My writing if I can be honest has even been way off, everything that I try to say just seems to come out as “BLAH, BLAH,  BLAH” sort of like the adults voice in a Charlie Brown episode almost gibberish so to speak. My mojo, aspirations, emotions and sync ALL ZAPPED!

funk-1When I pick up a pen to write…..it’s almost like it leaves my hand and goes elsewhere. I have to admit, this emotion didn’t happen overnight, It all started on a rainy day in November, the end of November to be exact, when my best friend; confidante; girl and a bag of pearls left me forever. She was my mom. I loved her sooo much, as a matter of fact – some of my writings have been based on her such as “The Ugly Duckling Experience”, “Give Like you Rich” & “Lord, I need your Help! I Think.”

She was my greatest inspiration and cheerleader; everything I did or accomplished; was because of her.  I lived to make her proud but on November 29th I felt like all of my dreams and aspirations went out the window just as her last breath did. I remember getting the news at work and when I heard the words “Mama Passed this morning” from my sister, I went into a state of shock and disbelief. As I drove what seemed like forever to get to the hospital, my mind went into flashback mode of how she took care of me as a child and fast forwarded to the many things that she rooted and cheered me on about – even the things that weren’t so good.

I could talk to her about any and everything. She always told me “I don’t only want to be your mother, but I want to be your best friend” and that she was until God called her home. I really didn’t want to believe what the doctors were telling us about mama, they weren’t saying anything that they hadn’t said before and like all those other times – I felt like mama was going to pull through this, as she had always done previously. But this time was different…..

The doctors told us in the beginning that they give her 6 months; I ran with that – as Daddy was looking into second opinions and options and we as a family tried to put our heads together on what the next steps would be as far as her care was concerned. 6 months soon turned into 3 months; those months turned into two weeks. They told us that they give her Thanksgiving and that they really didn’t look for her to make it too or past that day but man’s extremity is just an opportunity for God to work. She not only lived to Thanksgiving, but she lived five days after it…I mean, what do Doctors really know – right?

When I got to the hospital; I remember walking into the room and just walked over and laid my body across hers; I cried and cried and cried – almost inconsolable. Why did she leave me? Why did God take her now? Why didn’t he heal her?…..so many questions flooded my mind as I laid across her lifeless body. My mom was a giver, she always gave her best and her last to everyone; she loved to see people smile. All the giving that my mom did in her life and right at the end of hers, I couldn’t give her what she needed to stay alive.

While for the last couple of months, I’ve been trying to cope with her being gone – it’s been quite an adjustment. I find myself looking back on her past text messages that she sent to me and read them over and over again. Yes, I think about her a lot. Sometimes I can’t believe that she’s really gone and think that maybe I’ll soon pick up my work phone or cell and hear her voice on the other end, telling me; she played a huge joke on me – as she would always state. “I’m a good actress” but I know in my heart that will not happen as the actress took her last bow.

So, I’ve been in what some would call a funk – it’s like I know what I’m supposed to be doing but can’t seem to really do it, if that makes sense. I talk to people and laugh and smile with them but on the inside, I feel so broken and incomplete. Yes, I’ve learned to put on a serious poker face. While mama is in a better place and deep on the inside of me, I’m really happy about that. I have to get out of this funk, I crawled myself into and fast. She always wanted the best for me and my state of mind is one thing I’m sure she would want me to get under control – “You gotta live too” she would say and she couldn’t be more right. I have to LIVE TOO!

Carolyn Annette Blackmon-Greene

10/22/1961 – 11/29/2016

mama

Rest in Peace Mama a.k.a “Baby Mook”

Until we Chat Again, I Love You 

You’re Always in my Heart!

Roshonda a.k.a “Mookie”

Have you ever gotten yourself into a Funk? A rough time in your life where you feel stuck, depressed or just discouraged? What did you do to get through your rough patch.

This blog post is a Q&A so please feel free to leave your comments below. We never know what the smiling faces of people that have broken hearts behind them may be dealing with. Let’s help each other and others whom may befacing a serious Funk! 

Here Comes the Builder

I was honored to be asked to be a guest blogger for shanaeartis.com – check out her site. Just wanted to share what was written – Do you know any Builders, could you be one?

Shanae Artis's avatar

Here Comes the Builder

By Roshonda N. Blackmon a.k.a JustsumInspiration

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I was talking to a girlfriend recently and she began to talk about most women’s main conversation “MEN” – she began to go on and on about how she wanted someone in her life and how she would just like to go out on a date every once in a while with someone. My conversation back to her was a little different as I began to express how afraid I was of dating; I mean let’s face it, at this point in my life I’m afraid of MEN! PERIOD!!

I guess it’s because I’ve had my share of failed relationships and have experienced un-fulfillment in each one of them. I went on to tell her how, I too would love to be in a decent relationship but for some reason; every relationship I’ve encountered; the men have always came to…

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JustsumInspiration Guest Blogger series presents: The Power of Influence and The Importance of Your Circle. By Shanae Artis

If you don’t mind I’m going to be transparent for a few and chat with my sisters about the power of influence.

One morning, while getting a ride from my friend to work, as we were chatting I was scrolling through FB and I saw the word ZEN. So I said “Drik, what exactly does Zen mean?” She said meditating or something like that. I said “oh”… and I as I sat there and thought about Zen a thought jumped in my mind and it sounded like “As Christians we don’t believe in that”. Immediately I realized that that was an idea I had always thought because that’s what I was told. The very next thing that came to mind were a few other beliefs I had and how those too were things I believed because it’s what I was told. Instantly I started to get a little uneasy because several ideas and views that I had adopted played in my mind and they all had 1 thing in common… They were all views I had because of what I was told.

So I got to work and it was still heavy on my heart because now, I’ve realized that not only could I have been living a lie but I recognized that a lot of my ideas and views up until that moment had been created through the influences in my life and whether or not it was true it was true to them and had been true to me because I believed it and didn’t even attempt to challenge its validity. So I’m at work listening to my favorite worship music and I felt it in my spirit…. The power of influence and the importance of your circle. As I felt that, thoughts started to come and I made a decision right there that something had to change!!

I realized that my views about life, my life and other people all stemmed from the opinions and thoughts of others. I began to see how although I KNEW God had greater plans for me and that there was more to life for me I allowed myself to be stuck. I was stuck in someone else’s “box”. Handicapped from moving forward in my own truth because I was too stuck in theirs. See the truth is those that I surrounded myself with didn’t have the same dreams as me. They didn’t see what I saw, feel what I felt or even believe what I believed. I believed there was more for me…. They couldn’t see that for themselves.

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See when I was ready to move forward in my dream those influences would say things like “Girl you know they say” and in my mind I’d wonder who was they?? And why did I care what they had to say? Because the truth is I only care about what HE says.  But those “They say Nay-Sayers” had a hold on me and what I believed.

That day in the car I had a revelation and it all began with the word Zen… Zen led me to see the power of influences, the need to release my mind from them and to the importance of my circle. As I sat there at my desk I wrote “surround yourself with people that influence you to be you. People that encourage you to think for yourself and foster your own opinions. People that challenge you and hold you accountable. Not the “They say  Nay-Sayers” Why does what they say matter?? Pray for discernment and revelation.”

So my sister.. I ask you.. Who have you allowed to influence you? Who are the “They say Nay-Sayers” in your life?? Surround yourself with people that influence you to be you. People that encourage you to think for yourself and foster your own opinions. People that challenge you and hold you accountable. Not the “They say  Nay-Sayers”  Honestly, why does what they say matter??

Pray for discernment and revelation.

Ask God to reveal any negative influences to you, and then ask for the strength to release your mind from “their box.” Your circle is important to the next level in your life and your destiny awaits you.

Be BOLD

Be BEAUTIFUL

Be YOU

-Shanae

shanae-artis

Shanae Artis: Makeup Artist Beauty, Educator and owner of SAM Image Consulting Co. is committed to influencing change in the lives of every woman she encounters. Through personal experience, Shanae recognizes there is a need for women to know the importance of having a positive self-image and presenting themselves in a way that promotes a successful lifestyle. Shanae has a genuine heart to motivate and educate. Through her gifts, creativity and down to earth personality Shanae is inspiring women to act on their desire for a better lifestyle starting with transforming how they see and present themselves.

SAM Image Consulting Co. is a lifestyle brand, promoting confidence and capability. Shanae believes as women, the way we carry ourselves speaks to how we feel about ourselves. Also, as women, we are all capable of putting forth our best effort. She understands when we look good, we feel good and we do great. SAM is teaching real women how to do their own makeup in simple, easy to follow and time efficient ways.

Whether you need an encouraging word, make-up tips or a beauty consultation; Shanae is your one stop shop!! – You can Follow Shanae via the contact information below:

                      Website: www.Shanaeartis.com  Email: Shanae@shanaeartis.com                                      Facebook: www.facebook.com/samimageconsultingco   YouTube: SAM ImageCo  Instagram: SAMImageCo

 

If you would like to be a part of the guest blogger series for JustsumInspiration, complete the contact form on this site or email justsuminspiration@gmail.com for more info.

Sometimes they come back…

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Ever since I can remember, I’ve been the go-to girl for advice, encouragement, upliftment and secrets, which somehow get twisted into things I didn’t say or do; but anyway that’s another story. While I can vividly remember those instances very well, something else came to my attention that I was totally unaware of – I’m also the go back to girl, when relationships go sour for, let’s just say former boyfriends. It’s like they get an Epiphany or something and next thing I know; they’re searching me out for “A stroll down memory lane” and a “I wish we had just got together and made it work” – Well, it wouldn’t have worked because at that particular time; while my mind was captivated on them, their mind was caught up on someone else.

It’s amazing how people see things “AFTER” they have been through the ringer with someone else, Now they realize how sweet you were, Now they realize how good you were, Now they realize that you really were the good one, Now they realize “Hey, your looks weren’t that bad”, Now they realize how “Perfect” you really were for them – But that “NOW” is too late. In the past I would have thought this type of behavior or rhetoric was acceptable, I would have thought that maybe now this was my chance for us to be together after all these years and God somehow sent them back to me for us to start the life we should have had from the beginning and we can live happily ever after in a great neighborhood with a white picket fence…Aww! Life is so grand…….NOT!!!

Basically, what I was to them was the leftovers – While leftovers are good; just keep in mind that it’s good as far as FOOD  is concerned, not real life. You’re not some food in a plate that someone has had enough of, only to be put in the fridge and return to it within the next day or week. I have realized that I’m better than that and should not be required to be someone’s last resort, but their FIRST priority! and so should you; this is not only in relationships but also in life.

These incidences seem to happen to me quite often, however; it was a situation that happened a couple of days ago that really got me to thinking about my worth and how priceless and valuable I really am. I was in an on again, off again relationship with this guy a couple of years ago; I really liked him and of course what I’m “most popular” for and known to do most is “Rescue” my potentials out of disaster, I’m there to lend a helping hand, build them up where they are down and give them a new approach on life, I try to be the best person they’ve ever had in their life by focusing on their good points and not their bad points; in which is what went on with this relationship; Well, after giving them all of what I had to build them up; they’re self-esteem boosted and they left me to be with someone else and eventually got married…Wow! Talk about a slap in the face, there they were all boosted up and there I was “yet again” all worn out because I had nothing else to give after I gave them everything….hope….joy….encouragement and most of all LOVE.

A couple of years go by and I get a text out of the blue “Can you talk?” – Now mind you, I’ve ran into this individual on many occasions and while it was always refreshing to see them; I had moved on, picked up my bootstraps and built myself back up – But when I got the text, I was somewhat surprised. After calling them, I found out that they were separated; going through a divorce and wanted someone to talk too and hang out with; “I realized, you were a good person” they said, “I realized, you were good to me” & Blah, Blah, Blah; I’ve heard it all before. As they were engaging in the best times of “What we had Past tense” I began to visualize that leftover plate in the refrigerator that  no one remembered until they realized there was nothing else left to eat on, so they decided to settle with what was left over, which is really not what’s wanted; because if they had another option they would choose it, but because they don’t “They settle” for what they do have.

I continued to let them talk and when the conversation was over, they vowed to keep in touch because they wanted us to hang out. I instead told them that I didn’t think that would be a good idea and ended the conversation. In Life, I’ve come to the realization of this – If it was Gods intention for things to happen or even for you to be with someone, trust me; God is very intelligent and would have allowed it to happen in the time that it should have happened and in most cases it could have been of God, but when people fail to follow Gods instructions for their life which also includes being with the person God chose for you; that’s when things get complicated and we veer off the road to live the life that “we” created; not the life that God intended.

waiting-at-the-door-ramesh-k-nambiarThat’s how people get confused and have regrets of the past because they never took out time to follow the necessary instructions – that’s why “Sometimes They Come Back” happens because they are trying to go back to the place in which they should have been at all along – But at that time, it’s too late to make changes, too late to say what you should’da, could’da and would’da done – it’s too late to start over.

If someone is coming back into your life, after being MIA for a long time – Consult the Lord on your direction; because depending on where we are in life, their “comeback” may seem like it’s right on time or it’s of God; but usually when someone suddenly “reappears” back in your life it’s often when you’re at your happiest and when things have begun to look up for you; be careful because the enemy just may be bringing them back into your life as a distraction in which conjures up old feelings and past experiences; this interaction will only take you back to the past because that’s all they know & while those good times “of memories lost” may put a smile on your face for the moment – be wise, check their language and watch the signs as it just may be a stumbling block to keep you from moving forward to the individual whom is really meant to be with you. Remember, you’re not the leftovers in the fridge, the maid or the butler whose job is to pick up something that someone else left behind; you were created to be first choice.

In Life sometimes they may come back, but that doesn’t mean that you have to accept it; Take it from me, you’re better than that. Seek to be someone’s first Priority, Not their Last Resort & by all means don’t be afraid to say NO!

 

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Know your WORTH! Because it’s truly PRICELESS ~