Ever since I can remember, I’ve been the go-to girl for advice, encouragement, upliftment and secrets, which somehow get twisted into things I didn’t say or do; but anyway that’s another story. While I can vividly remember those instances very well, something else came to my attention that I was totally unaware of – I’m also the go back to girl, when relationships go sour for, let’s just say former boyfriends. It’s like they get an Epiphany or something and next thing I know; they’re searching me out for “A stroll down memory lane” and a “I wish we had just got together and made it work” – Well, it wouldn’t have worked because at that particular time; while my mind was captivated on them, their mind was caught up on someone else.
It’s amazing how people see things “AFTER” they have been through the ringer with someone else, Now they realize how sweet you were, Now they realize how good you were, Now they realize that you really were the good one, Now they realize “Hey, your looks weren’t that bad”, Now they realize how “Perfect” you really were for them – But that “NOW” is too late. In the past I would have thought this type of behavior or rhetoric was acceptable, I would have thought that maybe now this was my chance for us to be together after all these years and God somehow sent them back to me for us to start the life we should have had from the beginning and we can live happily ever after in a great neighborhood with a white picket fence…Aww! Life is so grand…….NOT!!!
Basically, what I was to them was the leftovers – While leftovers are good; just keep in mind that it’s good as far as FOOD is concerned, not real life. You’re not some food in a plate that someone has had enough of, only to be put in the fridge and return to it within the next day or week. I have realized that I’m better than that and should not be required to be someone’s last resort, but their FIRST priority! and so should you; this is not only in relationships but also in life.
These incidences seem to happen to me quite often, however; it was a situation that happened a couple of days ago that really got me to thinking about my worth and how priceless and valuable I really am. I was in an on again, off again relationship with this guy a couple of years ago; I really liked him and of course what I’m “most popular” for and known to do most is “Rescue” my potentials out of disaster, I’m there to lend a helping hand, build them up where they are down and give them a new approach on life, I try to be the best person they’ve ever had in their life by focusing on their good points and not their bad points; in which is what went on with this relationship; Well, after giving them all of what I had to build them up; they’re self-esteem boosted and they left me to be with someone else and eventually got married…Wow! Talk about a slap in the face, there they were all boosted up and there I was “yet again” all worn out because I had nothing else to give after I gave them everything….hope….joy….encouragement and most of all LOVE.
A couple of years go by and I get a text out of the blue “Can you talk?” – Now mind you, I’ve ran into this individual on many occasions and while it was always refreshing to see them; I had moved on, picked up my bootstraps and built myself back up – But when I got the text, I was somewhat surprised. After calling them, I found out that they were separated; going through a divorce and wanted someone to talk too and hang out with; “I realized, you were a good person” they said, “I realized, you were good to me” & Blah, Blah, Blah; I’ve heard it all before. As they were engaging in the best times of “What we had Past tense” I began to visualize that leftover plate in the refrigerator that no one remembered until they realized there was nothing else left to eat on, so they decided to settle with what was left over, which is really not what’s wanted; because if they had another option they would choose it, but because they don’t “They settle” for what they do have.
I continued to let them talk and when the conversation was over, they vowed to keep in touch because they wanted us to hang out. I instead told them that I didn’t think that would be a good idea and ended the conversation. In Life, I’ve come to the realization of this – If it was Gods intention for things to happen or even for you to be with someone, trust me; God is very intelligent and would have allowed it to happen in the time that it should have happened and in most cases it could have been of God, but when people fail to follow Gods instructions for their life which also includes being with the person God chose for you; that’s when things get complicated and we veer off the road to live the life that “we” created; not the life that God intended.
That’s how people get confused and have regrets of the past because they never took out time to follow the necessary instructions – that’s why “Sometimes They Come Back” happens because they are trying to go back to the place in which they should have been at all along – But at that time, it’s too late to make changes, too late to say what you should’da, could’da and would’da done – it’s too late to start over.
If someone is coming back into your life, after being MIA for a long time – Consult the Lord on your direction; because depending on where we are in life, their “comeback” may seem like it’s right on time or it’s of God; but usually when someone suddenly “reappears” back in your life it’s often when you’re at your happiest and when things have begun to look up for you; be careful because the enemy just may be bringing them back into your life as a distraction in which conjures up old feelings and past experiences; this interaction will only take you back to the past because that’s all they know & while those good times “of memories lost” may put a smile on your face for the moment – be wise, check their language and watch the signs as it just may be a stumbling block to keep you from moving forward to the individual whom is really meant to be with you. Remember, you’re not the leftovers in the fridge, the maid or the butler whose job is to pick up something that someone else left behind; you were created to be first choice.
In Life sometimes they may come back, but that doesn’t mean that you have to accept it; Take it from me, you’re better than that. Seek to be someone’s first Priority, Not their Last Resort & by all means don’t be afraid to say NO!
Know your WORTH! Because it’s truly PRICELESS ~