Happy Monday! so, today is the second week/3rd day of our Monthly series – Attitude of Gratitude. Just in case you missed the November Vibes post, Every Monday and Wednesday for the month of November, I will be posting questions in regards to being grateful. I will answer these questions myself but my hope is that you will answer them too and leave those answers in the comment section.
Some questions may have us digging a little deeper within ourselves to answer them, but in the end – my hope is that you will feel more empowered and begin to see yourself and even your life differently and not just for the month of November – but for every month of the year. You can choose to start a journal if you want but this challenge as you may say, is not just about us writing things out and leaving it in a little book to store it away and go back to it when we’re reflecting on our life but the challenge is to show it!! so as an extra bonus after every question regarding yourself will be a question in which will relate to the world around you, it’ll be called “Our End of the Day Question” – you don’t have to write about it here, but it’ll be something that you’ll just ask yourself everyday at the end of your day. While writing out what we’re “grateful” for is half the battle, showing gratitude for and towards others is the KEY!
So, let’s do both – reflecting and showing….(by the way, the passage above will be in every challenge post to start off, however; a new question will be at the bottom of each post).
What painful experience has helped you grow. (My response)
I’ve had quite a few painful experiences that has helped me grow, some painful experiences (such as relationships) were painful for the moment but after the pain eased up, I found myself treading back down that same hurtful path only to get hurt again, except this time around – it was a little worse. But I have to say that this year I learned a lot from my past relationships whether they were friends or past exes. I learned that the past is the past and when things have past on – it’s best to leave it there. There’s a reason they call the past the past because it’s something that’ll always be entitled “once was.” The past has absolutely nothing to do with your future and if you keep toiling with the past and it’s issues then you’ll never experience the future, which always offer us something fresh & new! I might have messed over my 30’s with being in the wrong places, with the wrong people and put on more hurts, habits and hang-ups than I should, but as this year comes to a close I’m determined to hang out with people whom “truly” have my best interest at heart. #NoMorePainfulExperiences – at least none that I can control or help.
– What pain experience(s) has helped you grow; Comment Below –
Your End of the Day Question:
Did you put a smile on someone’s face today? If so, who?
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud, Inspire Often & Love Hard!
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Early last week, I became annoyingly frustrated at my 13yr old daughter. Ever since she’s crossed over into “TEEN-VILLE” I’ve noticed her attitude has changed tremendously, every time I tell her what she’s going to do, the first thing that comes out of her mouth is “I Can’t Do That” or “Why??” or “That’s not for Me” or “Mama, but I” I mean don’t get me wrong, I understand when the crossover happens, everything goes haywire in their minds. Their bodies are changing, their attitudes are unbearable and their mindsets are totally different.
What happened to that 5Ib little cute baby I brought home from the hospital, the one that would stay seated when I said too and when I talked, she listened. The girl that once used to smile brightly and be grateful for everything she got, has now become the teenager whom gives me such looks as this one….
As mama used to say, “When children are young, they’re on your lap but when they get older, they’re on your heart.” and she couldn’t have been more right. So, while I gather my heart strings together, let’s move on shall we to what I really want to convey. Every parent glories in the fact when their child comes to them and asks for advice, at that particular time, that’s our moment to shine. It’s our moment to give our kids the good, solid knowledge and wisdom that we obtained over the years. However; once we give that information to them, it hurts when they don’t take the advice and decide to do it the way they had planned in their head all along.
This was the dilemma I faced with my daughter. She came telling me about the lockers at school and how they were hard to get into. The teacher showed them how to unlock them, but they only showed them one time. My daughter went on to explain how she has been having the hardest time getting into her locker, last year was easy because they had to bring their own locks but now the 8th grade halls are filled with lockers that already have pre-set locks on them. So, she was complaining about how she didn’t have anyone to help her with her combination. “Mom to the Rescue” I said – Why not ask your friends? “They’re all busy and I don’t want to bother them” (puzzled) but they’re your friends…., okay, well what about asking your teacher for help again and so forth and so on, each time I came up with a possible solution – she kept coming up with excuses as to why my plan wouldn’t work. The more scenarios I came up with the more she debunked them…
Finally she said, “I’m just going to carry my stuff around, It’s really no big deal” By this time I had gotten a little frustrated and just told her to do what she wanted to do. But at the same time, I thought – Okay, so why did you come to me again?
As I walked on the treadmill that morning – I began to think about the situation with my daughter and how it related to God. I began to wonder how God must feel when we come to him with an issue and he gives us a solution but we make excuses as to why his way wouldn’t work and why our way is better. And I’m sure like me, he wants to say – But, Would you just listen to me?
Shunning my daughter away after a failed success of listening etiquette, is exactly how God does us. When we refuse to listen to his way, he let’s us go to do it our way and when our way fails?, unlike our so-called friends whom shame us by saying such lines as “I told you so” or “See, you should have listened to me” or “You feel crazy now, don’t you” and in most cases, they wash their hands of you altogether – All because you didn’t “listen” to their instructions. But if you’ve suffered or paid the price for not listening to God (and I believe we all have) Get ready to be celebrated because God in all his mercy and grace doesn’t do us like that, he’s not the God that’s going to make you feel badder than what you already feel, instead he accepts us back with forgiving arms.
And that’s how I did my daughter when she came back to me that same day to apologize. Just as a good parent would do, God is available to give you his wisdom and instructions for you to have a good life, what seems like the right choice in our head at the moment; may not be the same way in which God would like for us to handle the situation. I promise and it’s not always popular – But getting advice from God is the best way, it may take you longer to get through it, but you can rest assured that the end result will be a “sweet success”
While I continue to work on my patience with my daughters up and down ways, God wants to know from you today “Would you just listen to Me?” – Are you listening?…
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
I have to be honest with you; I’m a failure at leaving the PAST alone. For some reason and I’ll explain why shortly, I always find myself going backwards instead of forwards. I mean, my mind says go forward all day long, but my body definitely has its own agenda and mindset. What is it about our past that keeps us stuck in the same place? I tell you what it is, it’s Comfortable. Sort of like that good ole’ soul food mama used to cook every Sunday. It’s a comfort that just feels good to your mind, body and soul.
But there are quite a few things from our past that aren’t good for the mind, body nor soul and that’s when the ghosts of times past haunt you down, grab you and don’t let go…but, you have control over this; control that I had never exercised until this past Sunday. It’s a shame how certain circumstances present themselves as “Wake up Calls” – in your life. Me and my Past were the best of friends and I always felt comfortable because it felt so good; I knew my way around every corner and nothing ever came as a surprise because I knew what was going on: I was in control of that destiny and to be honest? I liked it that way, having control of what would and would not happen.
When it came to relationships – whether friendships or personal ones; if they ended really badly, I would be sad about it, but I would move forward. Months or even a year or two after the air cleared, the door to that relationship would open up again and guess who always went back through the door…..ME! During this time, things would always seem good at first; but then it’s like old patterns would start to take shape again and I found myself getting frustrated by the whole scenario. Sometimes when things are over, they are meant to be over…FOR GOOD!
My “PAST” downfalls were always falling prey to old “boyfriend” relationships – It’s funny because when you’re in a relationship with someone it seems like they never understand or see how great you are or how much they need you until you’re gone. It seemed as though when they weren’t satisfied with “the woman” they were with, then I would get the call, the text, the email or the social media message of “Hey, I miss you” usually this always happens when I’ve come to grips with being single and satisfied. But instead of shewing them off, I entertain their conversations of “I miss you” and “You know you were the one that got away” or “I would do anything for you” and this was my favorite one, “Hey, you remember when we did?” They would always bring up things from the past, things that I could relate to and suddenly I would find myself thinking “Did God make a mistake?” That’s what happened to me this past Sunday, I realized that I had let my past come back to haunt me and I became all caught up in the game. The thing about this game was that it had been in half-time mode and there was no clock that ticked down to make it start again. It was just stuck in the same place…this game is known as “The Past”
The thing about the past is this, it never talks about the present nor the future; the only thing it knows and always speak of are past things, past situations, past occurrences, past mistakes, past hurts, past memories, past fun, past good times, past sorrows…get my drift? No matter how much they mention the present or the future; it’s short lived because the only conversation that’s in their vocabulary is…..THE PAST. It wasn’t until one of those past relationships went seriously wrong on Sunday that I realized, that’s why they call the past the past. Once I went into my contacts to delete them permanently, I suddenly realized that I had every person from my PAST in there. Every guy that hurt me, whether the relationship ended in chaos or even without a proper good-bye I still had contact with them and talked with them on occasion. Why was I doing this?
No wonder I couldn’t move on to the future because I had stopped by the wayside of Times Past Highway to pick up old weeds and shrubs along the way; loosing focus on someone or something that doesn’t have the power to push you forward is a total loss and shame to you and your beautiful destiny. Let me tell you, if that person or thing was a part of God’s will to be in your life or on your path, do you actually think they wouldn’t have been? God is not the type of person that says “Oops! You know – I was actually meaning for you to get with that person or the one to say; Aww!! Man; my bad. I didn’t mean for them to get married to that person but to you.”As funny as this might sound, we have to trust that when God removes someone out of our lives; it doesn’t mean that, that person is bad – it just means their time in your life is up. But if we keep allowing them to feed us the past, we will never get a chance to see who we really are, what the future really holds for us or the wonderful person we’re really supposed to be with.
Sunday, I got rid of all the Ghosts of Times Past, their numbers – email addresses, text messages and social media feeds, I even went as far as changing my number. Because when you’re done with the past, you need to make the necessary changes to get rid of it; while this was a hard thing to do, I knew within my heart of hearts, it had to happen. I now realize that I was the one keeping me back from true happiness and a destiny filled with unknown surprises and I want to experience and see what the future has in store. I can’t change the past, nor the mistakes, pitfalls, slip-ups or regrets that I made concerning it, but I can forgive myself and move forward and not invite anything from the past into my future.
Dealing with my past relationships, made me also realize that I never really gave myself a chance to be wonderful, I was so used to going backwards and giving myself up to has beens, until I felt like that was all I had to offer. Now I’ve chosen the path of love, self-care and reflection. Who am I? And What am I? – Well, I’m still really unsure, but I’ve packed my bags and boarding the flight to self-discovery to hunt for who I’ve not yet become and I’m going to make it happen. I don’t know what you’re holding on to today in your past but I say LET IT GO! Your future desires your full attention and if you give it a shot – you’ll be surprised at some of the amazing things it has in store for you; but only after you let GO of the Ghost of times PAST first.
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!
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