Sunday’s Thought: My Dad is a ____________

There were many times in my life where that sentence line of my dad is _____________ was filled with words that I wouldn’t dare mention right now. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to grips with not being mad at the man that helped create me. (I’ll explain)…keep reading..

I never knew my dad, nor his family. I was told that he came to see me when I was three days old however; I remember seeing him for the first time at the age of nine. I finally got a chance to meet the man that I was so desperately asking to see since I was 5yrs old. What do I say? What do I do? Do I look like him? I was nervous, yet frighteningly excited and finally after what seemed like hours upon hours of excess adrenaline and anticipation, I laid eyes on the man I had longed to see. He was very tall, 6’7 I was told. Much taller than my 4ft tall height, he looked like the Jolly Green Giant over me. As he leaned back on the floor model T.V. against a stairwell, with a brown crumpled bag in his hand (in which I now know was a liquor bottle). He muttered “You know I’m your daddy right?” Stunned at his calm demeanor I quickly said “Yes.” – and that was all he said.

We ended up going to my mother’s cousins house, where he stood in the doorway of their dining room, looking at me as if he had never seen a little girl before. I head him tell several people, “She look like her mother.” as the night came to a close; he reached into his pocket, gave me $8.00 and took me home. I saw him again at the age of 14, my mother received a letter from Child Support, there was going to be a hearing and he had to be present. I begged my mother to let me go with her, just so I could see him and when I did, we locked eyes on each other and never let go. I wanted to make sure I got a good stare down of him, ; who knows when I would see him again and I was right, I never saw nor heard from him again after that day.

Because of that experience, my dad had become every nasty name known to man. How could he not keep in touch with me?, Every failed relationship that I experienced with men, I blamed him for every one of them. If he had been the dad I needed him to be, then I would know how a man is supposed to treat a woman. I became resentful, bitter and cursed the day I was born. While we can’t change whom our parents chose to date, marry or co-mingle with and no matter how much we would like to wiggle our nose like the famous “Bewitch.” – Wiggling our noses; will not change the past. Nose Wiggle - Bewitch As I grew much older; I realized, that while my dad may not have been the model dad I had wanted him to be, the best part of him and my mother getting together was me. I can’t help who my dad was or may still be but I can help who I am and whom I’ve become. Look at it this way, don’t hate the gene in which you were birthed from. Embrace it. I don’t hate my dad and really don’t care at this point in my life  why he wasn’t there for me or why he didn’t do more. I forgave him for everything he wasn’t and began to ask God to help me to love the man, I never really knew. I love my dad and if he stood before me today. I would tell him that.

You see, we can’t change the past – no matter how hard we may try. The only thing we can control is the present; which determines our destiny and future self. So, what am I really trying to say? Be the best-est version of your dad or mom. No matter what your DNA may say or dictate whom you are or are supposed to become; you were put here for purpose and to fulfill purpose. You were placed here to make the best out of the negative situation in which you may have been born under. At the end of our lives, we have to all give an account for “our” own actions whether they were good or bad. Forgive your past, including your dad or mom and let it go – they’ll have to give their own account for their mistakes. You just make sure that your heart and mind is clear about it. You may not ever understand them, but you “do” have the ability to become a better person than they might have been. We all have the ability to turn any negativity into a positive one, it’s a matter of choice.

So, the next time someone ask you about your dad or mom?, Just proudly say “My dad or mom is human, a person whom conceived their best product yet (even if they don’t know it) and that person is ME!

Sunday’s Thought: You have one life, that’s all any of us will ever get. Don’t waste it, thinking about the past and why someone didn’t do what they were supposed to do. Do you Boo…Do You and Do it Well…

 

Roshonda N. BlackmonCreator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

 

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Sunday’s Thought: Is It Worth the REACH?

The other day I was in the store (you’ll come to find out, I go to the store quite often =) – I was in there picking up a couple of things with my son and daughter, as I was checking out my items at the self-checkout; I noticed my son was no where in sight.

As I continued scanning my items, my eyes were doing double duty as I began to glance up and down to see if I could spot him out. Suddenly, my eyes zeroed in to the side of the store where he was standing over by the drink machines located near the exit doors. Whew! I thought to myself, now I don’t have to run all over the store trying to chase him down. I was exhausted, it was really late and the self-checkout lines were the only ones they had open at that time of night, I was very lucky to zip through and out before the crowd got started; it was after 11am at night and the store was quickly filling up with people. I didn’t know people shopped at that time of night, anyway as I checked out and grabbed my bagged items, my son came running up to me saying “Mama, I found a quarter beside the drink machine – Can I get It??

My first reaction was, really?? That’s what you were over there doing all that time?. He began to explain the quarter’s location and how if I could just move the machine, he’ll be able to get it. Wonder WomanDo it really look as if I want to be Wonder Woman tonight, I mean did he expect me to use my bionic powers to move this big machine; mind you that was also in between two other huge drink machines. The space itself was very small and I couldn’t see how a quarter even got beside there unless it rolled there from someones loose change that accidentally dropped out of their hands.

He was determined to figure out a way to get that quarter and Why? What was he actually going to spend it on, what were his plans for it, he definitely can’t buy anything with it. I began to ask him, why was the quarter so important – he said he didn’t know, it just caught his attention and he wanted to get it. But why waste your time on something that’s not worth the trouble of even obtaining. I mean, if I’m going to perform miracles to move something out of the way, I want to make sure that it’s worth the time and effort in me doing it, otherwise what would be the point in me exhausting unnecessary energy for something that’s just going to sit on a dresser or in his case, get lost. I told my son, if it had been a five dollar bill meshed in between that machine, Wonder Woman would have been in full effect. Which brings me to the thought of the day, whatever you’re pursuing in life “Is It Worth Your Reach?”

On the way to our destiny, it’s so easy to get side-tracked by shiny objects, catch phrases and minor bumps in the road – at some point we will all be faced with the problem of either continuing to move forward or allowing trivial things to take our attention away from things that truly matter.

Sunday’s Thought:

Make sure the things that you are reaching for are worth your time and effort. A lot of times in life we waste the majority of our energy trying to grab minuet things that are not beneficial to our life, neither is it going to improve our current situation. If you’re going to reach for something, you want to make sure that what you are reaching for is not a distraction intended to knock you off track to your next destination.

Let’s face it, every minute counts when it comes to your future and you don’t want it to be wasted because something small, shiny or of little value got your attention. Be sure that whatever it is, it will be worth your attention as well as your time and will add value and meaning to your journey. Otherwise, it’s just a waste of time.

Let’s Keep It Moving, Shall We?..

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Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

 

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