Sunday’s Thought: My Dad is a ____________

There were many times in my life where that sentence line of my dad is _____________ was filled with words that I wouldn’t dare mention right now. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to grips with not being mad at the man that helped create me. (I’ll explain)…keep reading..

I never knew my dad, nor his family. I was told that he came to see me when I was three days old however; I remember seeing him for the first time at the age of nine. I finally got a chance to meet the man that I was so desperately asking to see since I was 5yrs old. What do I say? What do I do? Do I look like him? I was nervous, yet frighteningly excited and finally after what seemed like hours upon hours of excess adrenaline and anticipation, I laid eyes on the man I had longed to see. He was very tall, 6’7 I was told. Much taller than my 4ft tall height, he looked like the Jolly Green Giant over me. As he leaned back on the floor model T.V. against a stairwell, with a brown crumpled bag in his hand (in which I now know was a liquor bottle). He muttered “You know I’m your daddy right?” Stunned at his calm demeanor I quickly said “Yes.” – and that was all he said.

We ended up going to my mother’s cousins house, where he stood in the doorway of their dining room, looking at me as if he had never seen a little girl before. I head him tell several people, “She look like her mother.” as the night came to a close; he reached into his pocket, gave me $8.00 and took me home. I saw him again at the age of 14, my mother received a letter from Child Support, there was going to be a hearing and he had to be present. I begged my mother to let me go with her, just so I could see him and when I did, we locked eyes on each other and never let go. I wanted to make sure I got a good stare down of him, ; who knows when I would see him again and I was right, I never saw nor heard from him again after that day.

Because of that experience, my dad had become every nasty name known to man. How could he not keep in touch with me?, Every failed relationship that I experienced with men, I blamed him for every one of them. If he had been the dad I needed him to be, then I would know how a man is supposed to treat a woman. I became resentful, bitter and cursed the day I was born. While we can’t change whom our parents chose to date, marry or co-mingle with and no matter how much we would like to wiggle our nose like the famous “Bewitch.” – Wiggling our noses; will not change the past. Nose Wiggle - Bewitch As I grew much older; I realized, that while my dad may not have been the model dad I had wanted him to be, the best part of him and my mother getting together was me. I can’t help who my dad was or may still be but I can help who I am and whom I’ve become. Look at it this way, don’t hate the gene in which you were birthed from. Embrace it. I don’t hate my dad and really don’t care at this point in my life  why he wasn’t there for me or why he didn’t do more. I forgave him for everything he wasn’t and began to ask God to help me to love the man, I never really knew. I love my dad and if he stood before me today. I would tell him that.

You see, we can’t change the past – no matter how hard we may try. The only thing we can control is the present; which determines our destiny and future self. So, what am I really trying to say? Be the best-est version of your dad or mom. No matter what your DNA may say or dictate whom you are or are supposed to become; you were put here for purpose and to fulfill purpose. You were placed here to make the best out of the negative situation in which you may have been born under. At the end of our lives, we have to all give an account for “our” own actions whether they were good or bad. Forgive your past, including your dad or mom and let it go – they’ll have to give their own account for their mistakes. You just make sure that your heart and mind is clear about it. You may not ever understand them, but you “do” have the ability to become a better person than they might have been. We all have the ability to turn any negativity into a positive one, it’s a matter of choice.

So, the next time someone ask you about your dad or mom?, Just proudly say “My dad or mom is human, a person whom conceived their best product yet (even if they don’t know it) and that person is ME!

Sunday’s Thought: You have one life, that’s all any of us will ever get. Don’t waste it, thinking about the past and why someone didn’t do what they were supposed to do. Do you Boo…Do You and Do it Well…

 

Roshonda N. BlackmonCreator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

 

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JustsumInspiration’s Guest Blogger Series presents: Hurting People, Hurt People. By Ashley Moss

In the words of Joyce Meyers, “Hurting people – Hurt people.” The fact of the matter is hurting people who hurt other people may not even realize that they’re hurting others, or do it purposefully. In an effort to protect themselves, they end up hurting others. In my experience, the idea of hurting people hurting others has proven to be a real thing in my life many times. I myself used to be so accustomed to heartache and pain that when new people tried to enter my life, I would push them away because I was afraid of being hurt and rejected.

stop!
Fear of Rejection can cause hurt people to  hurt others or push them away.

God has worked in my life and heart, and helped me get to the point where I can embrace new people in my life with open arms; without the fear of being afraid of getting hurt. My best friend of nearly ten years used to be the same way as well because of past experiences. The beginning of our friendship was rocky, because every time our friendship would grow deeper on a personal level, she would pull and push me away for weeks; sometimes months. This period was frustrating, but eventually we got through it and she learned to trust my loyalty to the friendship and my care for her. So, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when God spoke to me about a year ago now, and told me to assist him in healing another person’s heart. However, it did. Though I’ve been in situations before where hurting people hurt others, it’s not easier around this time with the new friend that God told me to help.

Patience and understanding is the key. Yet, on days when I feel like giving up on encouraging this new friend and trying to show them the love of Christ so that they too can help someone else, I remember an inspirational passage. The inspirational passage is

“If you try to help others, they may push you away. If you try to love them, they may reject that love. Pray for, bless, and love them anyway.”

And that’s exactly what I plan to do! I didn’t give up on myself or my best friend, and I’m not giving up on my new friend either. Because I’m a risk-taker and was once a hurting person that hurt others unintentionally, I won’t EVER stop trying to help mend broken hearts and I WON’T ever stop encouraging others to be the best versions of themselves. God often uses people to bless others. He can use me for whatever and however He wants to for the rest of my life…because I’ll never stop encouraging others. It’s my gift to the world.

 

Ashley Moss

Ashley Moss is the author of “Lessons I’ve Learned: A collection of Inspirational and Love Poetry” which is a downloadable e-book. Ashley loves writing and is going to school now to obtain her master’s degree in creative writing. She currently runs a blog called “Pockets full of Love” in which she posts encouraging and thought provoking messages the 15th of every month. For more information on Ashley and how to obtain her poetry e-book, you can visit her on Facebook, her blog “Pockets full of Love” or her “Ashley Moss Authors website here.

If you would like to be a part of the guest blogger series for JustsumInspiration, complete the contact form on this site or email justsuminspiration@gmail.com for more info.