Finally Letting Go In Order to Move On…

I’ve been living with a learning disability for most of my life.

And if that wasn’t enough, I’ve also lived with the fact of having many medical professionals tell my parents – that unfortunately, I wasn’t going to amount up to anything.

Image Credit: Pexels

Because of this stigma, I’ve felt the pain and agony of school bullying and harassment. After graduation, I joined a local job employment program for the disabled where I got my first experience of just how unacceptable society can be.

And trust me, just because I had a disability – employers didn’t waste time making me feel worse than what I already had been feeling, each looked down on me as if I was a complete waste of time, almost as if they “had” to hire me because they didn’t want a lawsuit. My heart went out to the other members in the program who had more severe disabilities. Lord knows what they must have been going through!

After several years of nothing but frustration over the discrimination and rejection, I decided to quit the job search.

Being 23 at the time, most people my age were already living on their own with good paying jobs and there I was, still living at home without a job prospect in sight. I remember volunteering at the local senior citizen center just to get out the house.

I began to feel bad for my parents whom were still having to support me. Thinking of that the job search and the remnants of school bullying and taunting began to make me one bitter person, it was like a plague that seemed to latch on to me daily.

However, I could go on and on about how angry I was at being disabled. The bitterness, resentment and grudges I felt from others judging me because of it which led me to carry some big chips on my shoulders – towards everyone!

Oh my, years of holding all that hurt affected me in all areas of my life. So much so, I began to live with worry, fear and anxiety. It all started in junior high when I created the habit of picking my skin to the point of scars and my nails to the point of nubs. I soon developed an eating disorder.

I had major trust issues. I didn’t have any friends outside of my volunteer work. I didn’t date. This lasted for years.

When I was 34, my maternal grandmother died from esophageal cancer. She was my last surviving grandparent. Losing her finally opened my eyes, it’s sad that it takes a tragedy for us to really see ourselves. I decided that I could no longer live this way and I had to do something about it.

It took me several years of self help programs and books but I have finally found peace. Now that’s not to say I haven’t made some pretty big whoppers. I mean, I am still human and do make mistakes, but I’m a much better ME, a me that I finally approve of!

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I’ve been on this earth for nearly 42 years and have done an extensive amount of soul searching. In that discovery, I’ve learned quite a few things about myself as well as my environment and that’s this:

  • Not everyone is going to accept you.
  • People are going to hurt you because they’re hurting themselves and get a “high” off of causing others pain.
  • If you allow haters to rule your life, you’re slowly killing yourself.

I know because I spent well over 30 years accepting and doing just that. Don’t waste your life over how others perceive you. How God perceives you is what matters. He sent His son to die for you. All of your sins, all of your mistakes have been forgiven.

You are fearfully, wonderfully and beautifully made.

And don’t you EVER forget that!

Amy is a resident of Florida.  Since 2006, she has been self-employed in the dog care field.  In May 2017, she self-published a memoir titled “I Am Not Stupid” which is available through Amazon.  She writes for seethegoodinfo, an inspirational website and the Learning Disabilities Association’s newsletter LD Source.

May 2017, she self-published a memoir titled “I Am Not Stupid” which is available through Amazon.  She writes for seethegoodinfo, an inspirational website and the Learning Disabilities Association’s newsletter LD Source.

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I Ain’t Got Nuttin But Love For Ya, Baby!

That was one of my favorite songs by the late, Heavy D. In which the Five Heartbeats way before Heavy D took it over, had their twist and spin to it. However; both renditions are EPIC to say the least.

There’s a song we used to sing in church a LONGGGGG time ago, while we were marching around to put our offering in the collection plate at the front of the church and it was a song entitled “Give and I’ll Give it Back to You” – The song went a little something like this…

“Give and I’ll give it back to you / Give and I’ll give it back to you / Give and I’ll give it back to you / Pressed Down / Shaken Together, Running Over/ Back in Good measure / I’ll give it back to you.”

I used to love that song, I don’t know who the original writer was or is, but it was a nice song that indicated, what we put in the collection plate, would be given back to us 100-fold. I said all of that to say, in life – it’s good to give back when someone has given something to you. Or at least in my mind that’s how the world’s supposed to work.

I have never been the type of person to allow someone to do something for me and not repay them back. It may have not always been in monetary form, but small gestures of kindness go a long way.

Well, since today is the last day of February – I know, I can’t believe it either!! I thought I’d share an act of LOVE for a couple of bloggers whom either followed me recently or went through and seemingly liked everyone of the previous posts I created. It truly made my day and week most days. While I have gone through and showed love back to them by either “reading” and liking their posts or becoming a follower. I thought I’d be cool for you to get to know them as well as their engaging blogs.

So, in no random order – please go, read, visit AND perhaps give them a follow, if you’re not already. While LOVE is an act that should be shown EVERYDAY. Let’s close out this month by giving some of that love away, pressed down, shaken together, running over and back in good measure!

For all the bloggers that have checked out, liked, viewed and or followed me within the last month or two. I just want you to know that I Ain’t got nothing but LOVE for ya! Thanks for your support, comments and the follow. I really do appreciate it and YOU!

I’ve Been Wrong… And Here’s Why

I must confess something to all of you.

image credit: bing

These past few months I believe I have been coming across as bitter.Bitter because I have been discriminated against and rejected due to my learning disabilities. I feel all I have done since I began writing this blog is complain…

And that is not what I want to do here. I wanted to join this team because I wanted to inspire you. I figured you could use a break from all the negativity that I am sure you have been reading elsewhere. And yet, I have been contributing.

I sincerely apologize to all of you. I don’t want you to come away after reading my work feeling worse than you may have already felt.

After re-reading some of my previous blogs, I thought to myself, “Man! I sound like one bitter woman!”

image credit: gif/Emma Roberts

Yes, what I have gone through has really hurt but after a recent incident, I have realized it is time to not dwell on what has happened to me or what has been happening to me.

I have previously mentioned -and complained- about my long-standing work relationship as a dog sitter for a couple in the retirement community I live in with my parents. I was very bitter about their ways and made threats to quit.

AND I DID! but not before I told the wife off via a text first! I mean, I TOLD HER OFF! And there was absolutely no need to do it…any of it.

I had been reminding this couple over and over again, maybe even several times a day to keep their puppy away from leaves, bits of tree twigs and plant seeds – a pretty reasonable request I thought. But after they failed to listen and honor my request – that’s when my ROCKETS got to flying and they flew pretty HIGH!

image credit: bing

Overall this couple are very nice Christians who have very specific ways they want their dog to be treated. Yes, some are a bit peculiar to say the least, but that’s the beauty of free will…right?

But you want to know the saddest part of it all? I also consider myself to be a Christian too. However, judging by my recent behavior, you sure wouldn’t be able to see it.

After completing some majorly, heavy repenting, God pierced my bitterly dark heart. So much so, I ended up sending the wife a text in the middle of the night, swallowing some serious crow!

I deeply apologized for my behavior and asked for another chance. Fortunately, I was given one. And I hope you, my readers -who I am truly grateful to have – will give me one, too.

image credit: bing/shrek/pussinboots

When you get on this website, you want to be inspired. You want to feel better.

You don’t want to hear about the woe is me tales of how rough life has been for someone because you already know. You don’t want -nor do you need – to be reminded.

So I am here to tell you all that I am not going to be writing any more stories like that.

I am definitely going to be continuing to write for Justsuminspiration and I am forever grateful for this glorious opportunity to share my God-given gift with you all.

My advice to you?, please don’t do what I did. Don’t wallow in pride. Learn to let things go, especially the past. The Bible says “Forget the former things. Keep pressing forward to the life that God has planned for you.”

Oh and no matter how wrong you may get, always – always don’t be too ashamed to say “you’re sorry” – None of us, including me should ever be above that law..

_____________________________________________________

Amy is a resident of Florida.  Since 2006, she has been self-employed in the dog care field.  In May 2017, she self-published a memoir titled “I Am Not Stupid” which is available through Amazon.  She writes for seethegoodinfo, an inspirational website and the Learning Disabilities Association’s newsletter LD Source.

Amy is a resident of Florida.  Since 2006, she has been self-employed in the dog care field.  In May 2017, she self-published a memoir titled “I Am Not Stupid” which is available through Amazon.  She writes for seethegoodinfo, an inspirational website and the Learning Disabilities Association’s newsletter LD Source.

What has the World Done to Us? And, Why Am I Crying About It!

There’s a saying that says, “One Bad Apple, spoils it for the Rest” and the older I’m getting, I’m finding that statement to be even the more sadder by the minute, hour and day.

The World is a Cruel place.

Now I know what you may be thinking, “Okay, whose peed in my cheerios” Well, it’s not about “Who” but “What” – While the world is cruel and evil and sometimes (okay most times) unforgiving. There are still quite a few people in it, that are cool, personable and have a way of turning any blue day into a shiny one, just by their personality alone. I happen to be one of those people…

Recently, I put a couple of things online to sell. I posted these items across the yard sale boards and I tell you, I have never, ever in my life received so many responses. I mean, I couldn’t finish answering one question before I could answer another one. It became SOOO overwhelming, I began telling people that certain items had sold – just to calm down my inbox. It was then that I understood why celebrities have designated people either checking their emails or handling their social media handles. I guess you can say that experience was my 15 min of fame as I surely thought I had become one, OVERNIGHT!!

Image credit: The Edge

I was successful in getting certain things sold but after a couple of failed promised deals gone bad – I decided to go down the list to other people interested. What I noticed is that although I had stated in my post that there would be “NO DELIVERIES” I had quite a few people whom opted that I meet them in a public place, a common area where a lot of people are. I did this for one person but when it came to the other person wanting me to do the same thing, I felt a little disheartened.

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They were interested in an item I had but clearly stated that their circumstances would keep them from meeting me as they don’t do anything or go anywhere, especially to someone’s house without their spouse tagging along. They went on to mention that if they did meet me without their better half, it would have to be at a police station and because their spouse would be unavailable. They asked to be passed over for the items and that I move on to the next person.

In that moment, I felt some type of way, I felt dehumanized – if that makes sense. I suddenly thought – the world is a cruel place indeed; it’s been crippled by so much FEAR.

Thinking about the response from that individual suddenly made me cry. I admit, sometimes I can be a very emotional person, depending on the situation and especially during a good chick flick; pass the tissues because this girl will be crying. I mean, that’s just me.

Image Credit: Pexels

Now, I know my actions to that situation doesn’t make a lick of sense to you and if I can be honest, it really didn’t to me either, like “Why was I crying??” I felt sad because of ALL the negativity, scams, killings and so forth in the world, nobody can be trusted!! The first thing I thought was, “I wouldn’t hurt anyone” I remember crying one day because I’d accidently run over a dog, who came bustling out in the road from nowhere it seems.

I believe I cried too because I KNOW what type of person I am, but just because I KNOW, doesn’t mean that someone else does and you can’t be too careful these days, not even a little bit. People that speak nicely on the phone or appear nice, can easily turn out to be a terror in disguise, the only thing they need or seem to look for is an open heart to let them in and the next thing you know, your world, is turned upside-down. “Can’t people just be Good??, I mean, can we just have Good people, who want to do GOOD things and NOT bring hurt or harm to anyone? Can’t we just have GOOD PEOPLE? Are there NOT enough good people in the world??

While I was having an emotional moment of silence to myself. There was a little voice on the inside of me that said, “You Keep Being Good, no matter what, just keep being YOU!” It’s amazing how something so small can change our mindset about life and question who we really are.

I said all of that to say, Yes, while the world seems to be going to HELL in a hand-basket. There’s still some good and good people left in it. There are still organizations, companies and non-profits whom are changing the world – even if just for one person.

You can’t make people see the good in you, especially over the phone or thru a message board…lol, and please don’t try to make them. All you can do is just BE YOU. If you’re good, continue being good and don’t let anyone dull your shine, no matter how NEGATIVE the world may continue to get.

Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21 (NIV)

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Valentines on A Budget – 5 Tips to Save You Money!

Valentines is officially HERE! and while today may be the BIG V-Day, most people may opt to do something small today, with a bigger celebration more than likely starting tomorrow night and on through the weekend, right??

Valentine’s is the next most popular-est holiday, outside of Christmas. As soon as Christmas is over you can almost guarantee the week or two after, stores will begin to fill up with red, pink and white balloons, bears, candies and roses galore…I mean, that’s just how it rolls.

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However, while Valentines is a day that everyone (well not everyone, but you get it) uses to express their undying love and affection for a significant other – it can also be extremely COSTLY! Yes, LOVE really does cost a thing, especially on V-Day.

And that alone can be a little disheartening as everyone may not have the Benjamin’s to splurge on LOVE. Therefore, I’m going to give you 5 tips of how you can keep the cost down on the world’s most LOVE filled day.

Scavenger Hunt

Valentines Day is the perfect day to tell your significant other how much you love them and while words are great – ACTIONS are better. Get some nice paper, preferably construction paper. Fold it in half and cut along the fold line to make hearts, make sure you use different colors – it just makes the activity more fun and expressive.

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Write nice things you love about your sweetie on each one and put them all over your living space (preferably in places you know they always go). You might want to let them know you’re doing this and tell them you’ve placed little love notes throughout the space and send them on a little hunt to find it. Or, it can be a complete surprise. You can do it while they’re sleeping, to up the ante – you can tape little pieces of chocolate on, to make the surprise even sweeter.

Handwritten Letters

I know this is a bit old-fashioned, especially with the boat loads of technology we have today. Taking out time to sit down and actually write a letter shows that you not only care but it’s the sincerest affection to give. You can write a love note to anyone; your kids, your spouse, a good friend, boyfriend, girlfriend or just to let someone know how much you appreciate them. The fact that you took out time to do it, will be the greatest gift of love and adoration shown.

Image Credit: Pexels

Plan a Date night in Your Kitchen or Dining Room

Now, I know some people may already sit down to have dinner together, but V-Day is an extra special day that causes for an extra va-voom to your dinner/meal conversation. Use your phone to create a V-Day playlist to serve as your background music. Light a couple of candles or string a couple of lights around your chandelier or alongside your wall (get those creative juices going).

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During your meal, don’t talk about work or any outside disturbances. Use this time to talk about each other. What made you fall in love and etc. And if you’re flying solo, no worries plan a night with the kids (no phones, no talk about work) use that time to tell them something special about themselves and etc. Just keep the talk about LOVE. If you don’t have kids, then invite some friends over and chat it up.

You also don’t have to buy any expensive dinners, cook whatever you got in the fridge or cabinets because this moment isn’t about the food but being amongst those you LOVE.

Movies Anyone? – Favorite V-Day Classics

If you’re an avid follower, then you know I LOVE LOVE LOVE movies. What better way to settle in on V-Day or whenever you decide to celebrate it than with a good ole love classic and some popcorn. Listed below are a couple of my faves in no particular order…

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  • Valentine’s Day (2010)Julia Roberts, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx
  • Serendipity (2001)John Cusack, Kate Beckinsale
  • Pretty Woman (1990)Julia Roberts, Richard Gere
  • Love and Basketball (2000) Sanaa Lathan, Omar Epps
  • The Notebook (2004)Rachel McAdams, Ryan Gosling
  • Titanic (1997) Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet
  • An Officer & A Gentleman (1982)Richard Gere, Debra Winger
  • 50 First Dates (2004) – Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore

Spa Day – INSIDE

As a people I honestly don’t think we do enough self-care routines (I’m totally preaching to the choir on this one (AMEN!). So why not create your own spa day inside. Light some candles, turn on some soft music and create a bubble bath for one or two (wink..) You don’t even have to have those high-priced soaps that do all the special things – if you got some body wash that’ll do just fine for creating the bubble effect. Get you a glass of wine (sparkling or other) and just RELAX! And follow-up with a good skin care regimen.

Image Credit: Pexels

I know Valentine’s day may not be a big deal to some people’s world and that’s okay as it doesn’t take a holiday to show LOVE. However you choose to spend V-day, just make sure you’re showing yourself some love and/or spending time with the people you do. Time is precious and LOVE, whether a holiday or not is worth giving.

Glazed Cherry Bread
Looking for something delicious and different to whip up for V-Day? You’ll love this cherry bread recipe made with delicious maraschino cherries. To get the full recipe and view the video of how it’s made visit Tastes of Lizzy T.