A Comfortable PAST = A Dim Future…

Crossing out Lies and writing Truth on a blackboard.
Quote taken from frankiejohn.blogspot.com

I have to be honest with you; I’m a failure at leaving the PAST alone. For some reason and I’ll explain why shortly, I always find myself going backwards instead of forwards. I mean, my mind says go forward all day long, but my body definitely has its own agenda and mindset. What is it about our past that keeps us stuck in the same place? I tell you what it is, it’s Comfortable. Sort of like that good ole’ soul food mama used to cook every Sunday. It’s a comfort that just feels good to your mind, body and soul.

But there are quite a few things from our past that aren’t good for the mind, body nor soul and that’s when the ghosts of times past haunt you down, grab you and don’t let go…but, you have control over this; control that I had never exercised until this past Sunday. It’s a shame how certain circumstances present themselves as “Wake up Calls” – in your life.  Me and my Past were the best of friends and I always felt comfortable  because it felt so good; I knew my way around every corner and nothing ever came as a surprise because I knew what was going on: I was in control of that destiny and to be honest? I liked it that way, having control of what would and would not happen.

When it came to relationships – whether friendships or personal ones; if they ended really badly, I would be sad about it, but I would move forward. Months or even a year or two after the air cleared, the door to that relationship would open up again and guess who always went back through the door…..ME! During this time, things would always seem good at first; but then it’s like old patterns would start to take shape again and I found myself getting frustrated by the whole scenario. Sometimes when things are over, they are meant to be over…FOR GOOD!

My “PAST” downfalls were always falling prey to old “boyfriend” relationships – It’s funny because when you’re in a relationship with someone it seems like they never understand or see how great you are or how much they need you until you’re gone. It seemed as though when they weren’t satisfied with “the woman” they were with, then I would get the call, the text, the email or the social media message of “Hey, I miss you” usually this always happens when I’ve come to grips with being single and satisfied. But instead of shewing them off, I entertain their conversations of “I miss you” and “You know you were the one that got away” or “I would do anything for you” and this was my favorite one, “Hey, you remember when we did?” They would always bring up things from the past, things that I could relate to and suddenly I would find myself thinking “Did God make a mistake?” That’s what happened to me this past Sunday, I realized that I had let my past come back to haunt me and I became all caught up in the game. The thing about this game was that it had been in half-time mode and there was no clock that ticked down to make it start again. It was just stuck in the same place…this game is known as “The Past”

past mistakes

The thing about the past is this, it never talks about the present nor the future; the only thing it knows and always speak of are past things, past situations, past occurrences, past mistakes, past hurts, past memories, past fun, past good times, past sorrows…get my drift? No matter how much they mention the present or the future; it’s short lived because the only conversation that’s in their vocabulary is…..THE PAST. It wasn’t until one of those past relationships went seriously wrong on Sunday that I realized, that’s why they call the past the past. Once I went into my contacts to delete them permanently,  I suddenly realized that I had every person from my PAST in there. Every guy that hurt me, whether the relationship ended in chaos or even without a proper good-bye I still had contact with them and talked with them on occasion. Why was I doing this?

No wonder I couldn’t move on to the future because I had stopped by the wayside of Times Past Highway to pick up old weeds and shrubs along the way; loosing focus on someone or something that doesn’t have the power to push you forward is a total loss and shame to you and your beautiful destiny. Let me tell you, if that person or thing was a part of God’s will to be in your life or on your path, do you actually think they wouldn’t have been? God is not the type of person that says “Oops! You know – I was actually meaning for you to get with that person or the one to say; Aww!! Man; my bad. I didn’t mean for them to get married to that person but to you.” As funny as this might sound, we have to trust that when God removes someone out of our lives; it doesn’t mean that, that person is bad – it just means their time in your life is up. But if we keep allowing them to feed us the past, we will never get a chance to see who we really are, what the future really holds for us or the wonderful person we’re really supposed to be with.

Sunday, I got rid of all the Ghosts of Times Past, their numbers – email addresses, text messages and social media feeds, I even went as far as changing my number. Because when you’re done with the past, you need to make the necessary changes to get rid of it; while this was a hard thing to do, I knew within my heart of hearts, it had to happen. I now realize that I was the one keeping me back from true happiness and a destiny filled with unknown surprises and I want to experience and see what the future has in store. I can’t change the past, nor the mistakes, pitfalls, slip-ups or regrets that I made concerning it, but I can forgive myself and move forward and not invite anything from the past into my future.

Dealing with my past relationships, made me also realize that I never really gave myself a chance to be wonderful, I was so used to going backwards and giving myself up to has beens, until I felt like that was all I had to offer. Now I’ve chosen the path of love, self-care and reflection. Who am I? And What am I? – Well, I’m still really unsure, but I’ve packed my bags and boarding the flight to self-discovery to hunt for who I’ve not yet become and I’m going to make it happen. I don’t know what you’re holding on to today in your past but I say LET IT GO! Your future desires your full attention and if you give it a shot – you’ll be surprised at some of the amazing things it has in store for you; but only after you let GO of the Ghost of times PAST first.

The Past4

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

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Let’s Face It, Everyone’s Not Going to Like You…

I used to be a very shy child, who was always deemed as “The Quiet One” – now this had good points and bad points. One of the good points was that, everyone thought I was nice and easy to get along with – they seemed to know this without even talking with me first. The bad point of being labeled as quiet was that people (a.k.a extended family) thought I was sneaky, or that I would be the one that would “Wild Out in Promiscuity” and be super naive’ to the point of where I would run off with any guy and get pregnant at a young age; I might have been quiet, but I wasn’t stupid.

Being a person that suffered badly from low self-esteem and self-image, I didn’t think to much of myself on the outside; but my insides were bursting with colors. I just didn’t know how to bring that party on the outside. When I turned 30 (I know, late bloomer), it was then that I began to see “ME” for whom I really was – Beautiful, Bold, Lovely and Amazing. I realized at that moment, that I did have something to offer the world and that it was okay to be different; in mind and opinion. I not only began to beat to my own drum but noticed that instead of thriving to follow others, I had others wanting to be as confident as I was and followed me.

When the inner party came to the outside, I noticed that I not only had a good personality but had the look to match it. The girl that wanted everyone to focus on her personality and bypass her appearance of frumpy clothes, tied back hair and no make-up had suddenly found her own fashion and rocked it. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m an around the way girl, so when I started to care about what clothes I was putting on my body, it was salvation army and Roses’ all the way honey. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll find. I love the S.A! ALL DAY!

With this new found confidence you would think that I would have a host of friends – BUT! the lie detector test determined THAT WAS A LIE! I quickly realized that my new found self-discovery didn’t register with everyone as everybody didn’t like the new inspirational, loving, self-motivated, sees the good in everything, confident of who she is, loves her body, mind and soul ME!. I thought that just because I had a wonderful personality and could get along with a variety of people that everyone would generally flock to me, but that also was determined to not be a true fact. It didn’t take long for me to realize that my infectious good spirit and nature would not resonate with everyone. I had developed a complex of wanting everyone to like me and when one or two people didn’t, I ran myself crazy trying to figure out why? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME!!

Sadness3
Sadness from Disney Pixar’s movie “Inside Out” (2015)

People’s negativity towards me, literally almost made me change my outlook on being the so-called wonderful, smiley person that I had become outwardly. I found myself hiding my smile, shielding my personality and adopting the “if you can’t beat’em, join’em motto.” But why join the crowd, when I was obviously born to STAND OUT! It was then that I realized, everyone’s not going to like nor accept you – so what are you going to do…

A MOMENT OF TRUTH?!?: Not everyone liked or loved Jesus Christ, but regardless of what people thought, said or felt about him or his presence; he was on a mission. If he had gotten all caught in people’s emotions towards him, he would have never completed the mission or fulfilled his purpose. He would have left us all in the balances to fend for ourselves. So, if they didn’t love or like Jesus; savior of the world? Who are you to get offended because you’re not being liked or accepted.

We live in a society that feeds off of acceptance and likes – you can see that all over social media. In this life, if you’re never liked or accepted by someone then that shouldn’t dull your shine on the magnificent person you are. Not only that, you have to do like I did and think; that’s only a few people – I bet if you look in your circle or around you, there are lives that you’ve changed and a host of people that think you’re AWESOME! so it doesn’t matter what the crumbs think. When people make a sandwich, they make it with two slices of bread and they eat it – can you imagine someone making a sandwich with just the crumbs? It wouldn’t be a very good sandwich, now would it. You may say, what does bread have to do with.

I want you to focus on the fullness of your life – there will be crumbs scattered along the way, but they hold no substance and are not fulfilling and therefore will not bring greatness to your life or your belly.

While everyone may not like you and WHO CARES! The only person you should be concerned about pleasing and being pleased with you is God; he says in Psalms 139:14 that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and the next person whose opinions should matter is YOURS! I no longer worry if people like me or not, want to hang with me or not, call me or not or say crazy things about me because of my personality or self-confidence and my ability to say NO to foolishness. I think I’m great and as long as I’m in good spirits about whose I am and who I am – I’ll continue to be happy and beat to my own DRUM!

Liking Me
All pictures are courtesy of Bing

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

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Feel free to comment or email us @ justsuminspiration@gmail.com

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MUSHROOM NOSE…

If I literally hadMushroom Nose3 a penny for every-time someone said something to me or about me that brought my spirits down about how I look, what I wear, from my hair not being long, to my hair being extra short. To the moles on my body and my face, to my dark skinned tone, to not being skinny enough or being extremely too large. I would be a very rich woman. For the better part of my life, I’ve always been criticized for not looking like the average girl. I always wasn’t enough, no matter how much I tried to kill myself in the gym to lose weight, eat crazy to gain weight, bleach my skin, color my hair or take numerous amounts of supplements to make my hair grow long. And let’s not even speak of going in debt to make sure I dressed the part to look the part of whatever & for whoever….IT NEVER WAS ENOUGH!!

I always struggled with just being ME. Yes, I had the wonderful personality in which I always felt as if I had to parade around like I was in a circus to get people to notice. Growing up, my aunts would get jealous if they saw their boyfriends or someone they potentially liked; talking with me, in which I never understood why – they were the pretty ones, I was the one struggling to get noticed. What they didn’t understand is that I never wanted their guys, I was just delighted to have a guy talk with me without judging my appearance first. It took years upon top of years for me to become comfortable with looking at myself in the mirror, in which I avoided at all cost. I had been told I was UGLY so much until I believed it, it was so bad until I felt if I looked into a mirror it would surely shatter……I really did. I combed my hair by touch and feel. If it felt right, it must have looked right…

As I got older, I began to slowly take a good look in the mirror at myself. I mean a really good look and I noticed that I wasn’t bad looking at all. I had a beautiful smile and there were features aboutnose5.jpgt myself, such as my eyes and how they lit up when I smiled; almost in a flirtatious sense and my eyebrows – they were thin, but how easily they were to shape up and my hair, it wasn’t long but hey, many women are rocking short styles. Once I began to change my mindset about myself on the outside; my inside began to truly shine through as well. While my self-esteem and self-image were beginning to blossom, I took notice to something else about me that I didn’t particularly like and that was……MY NOSE!

I hated my nose, I loved my smile but I hated how my nose spread wide when I smiled – It looked like a big balloon had implanted itself right in the middle of my face. There was nothing that I could do to cover it up either. I literally felt like Rudolph, my nose wasn’t red but I felt his pain. Because I had now built up this new esteem about myself, I wasn’t going to let something as minor as my nose get the best of me but still found myself covering it up when I chatted or laughed with people. While it was a secret and I never told anyone about my nose dilemma….I felt like I was taken 50ft back when someone close to me, someone I loved – called me, mushroom nose. I suddenly felt like all the self-image issues that I had dealt with came rushing back at me – FULL FORCE!

What the individual didn’t know was that I had a complex about my nose. I had seriously thought about going to one of those plastic surgeon shows and having it fixed. It’s the main reason why I hate taking pictures today. While they laughed about it, I didn’t particularly think it was funny…..my mother had a wide nose and it’s the only thing I wish I had not inherited from her. They didn’t know how embarrassed my nose made me feel; they didn’t know the struggles I battled in my mind with accepting my mushroom nose and they caused that war to be re-lived in a matter of 2 seconds.

I felt like going into a corner and crying my eyes out – BUT I DIDN’T…

I had to go back to the mirror and take a good look at not only who I was but WHOM’S I was, the bible says that EVERYTHING, I MEAN EVERYTHING that God created was good and very good and that includes the creation of me and you (Genesis 1:31 & 1 Timothy 4:4). We’re all unique individuals; made, shaped and groomed into the image of our master creator. The enemy knows what it takes to get us down, make us stuck and he knows what tactics to throw our way to keep us buried. He desires to get us so down-trodden until we stay down, not having the strength to look up at the one who came to give us strength. Once he has you down, his intentions is to keep you down by constantly beating you over the back with regret, self-image, low self-esteem and uncomfortable issues that plague us daily.

You’re as handsome and pretty as you want to be, by keeping a mind of defeat you’re the one that’s keeping yourself in uncharted territory in which you were never meant to belong. I dare you today to embrace the GOOD LOOKING! person you are because God didn’t make junk nor trash when he made you. If you have something about yourself that you don’t like – figure out what it is and change it (please nothing crazy or silly like getting ridiculous surgery to obtain a bigger butt, boobs, pecks or flatter abs) you can get butt pads, padded bras and you can work on those abs and/or pecks at the gym or in the comfort of your own home.

Just don’t let anyone define who you are. I’m here to tell you that you are beautiful, I’m here to let you know that you are handsome. If this girl with the mushroom nose can change her mind about how she views herself, then SO CAN YOU

Mushroom Nose2

I Love My #MushroomNose! – Thank you Mama!

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU’RE CALLED – BUT WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO ANSWER TOO!

THE ONLY THING YOU SHOULD ANSWER TOO IS GREATNESS! BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE!!!! YOU WERE CREATED TO BE…

#Greater than your Enemies

#Greater than your Past

#Greater than your Hurt

#Greater than your Pain

#Greater than what your Think of Yourself

Remember, Jesus nailed all of your hurt, pain, habits and hang-ups on the cross a long time ago, so you have no excuse to not live and be Great!

What’s a Flaw that you have about yourself, that you now Embrace! Share Below by stating “I Love My #_______ with a hashtag of what you love about yourself.

 

Roshonda N. BlackmonCreator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!

** ** **

Feel free to comment or email us @ justsuminspiration@gmail.com

For Daily Inspiration, you can follow us on one or all of the social media sites below:

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