I used to be a very shy child, who was always deemed as “The Quiet One” – now this had good points and bad points. One of the good points was that, everyone thought I was nice and easy to get along with – they seemed to know this without even talking with me first. The bad point of being labeled as quiet was that people (a.k.a extended family) thought I was sneaky, or that I would be the one that would “Wild Out in Promiscuity” and be super naive’ to the point of where I would run off with any guy and get pregnant at a young age; I might have been quiet, but I wasn’t stupid.
Being a person that suffered badly from low self-esteem and self-image, I didn’t think to much of myself on the outside; but my insides were bursting with colors. I just didn’t know how to bring that party on the outside. When I turned 30 (I know, late bloomer), it was then that I began to see “ME” for whom I really was – Beautiful, Bold, Lovely and Amazing. I realized at that moment, that I did have something to offer the world and that it was okay to be different; in mind and opinion. I not only began to beat to my own drum but noticed that instead of thriving to follow others, I had others wanting to be as confident as I was and followed me.
When the inner party came to the outside, I noticed that I not only had a good personality but had the look to match it. The girl that wanted everyone to focus on her personality and bypass her appearance of frumpy clothes, tied back hair and no make-up had suddenly found her own fashion and rocked it. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m an around the way girl, so when I started to care about what clothes I was putting on my body, it was salvation army and Roses’ all the way honey. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll find. I love the S.A! ALL DAY!
With this new found confidence you would think that I would have a host of friends – BUT! the lie detector test determined THAT WAS A LIE! I quickly realized that my new found self-discovery didn’t register with everyone as everybody didn’t like the new inspirational, loving, self-motivated, sees the good in everything, confident of who she is, loves her body, mind and soul ME!. I thought that just because I had a wonderful personality and could get along with a variety of people that everyone would generally flock to me, but that also was determined to not be a true fact. It didn’t take long for me to realize that my infectious good spirit and nature would not resonate with everyone. I had developed a complex of wanting everyone to like me and when one or two people didn’t, I ran myself crazy trying to figure out why? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME!!
People’s negativity towards me, literally almost made me change my outlook on being the so-called wonderful, smiley person that I had become outwardly. I found myself hiding my smile, shielding my personality and adopting the “if you can’t beat’em, join’em motto.” But why join the crowd, when I was obviously born to STAND OUT! It was then that I realized, everyone’s not going to like nor accept you – so what are you going to do…
A MOMENT OF TRUTH?!?: Not everyone liked or loved Jesus Christ, but regardless of what people thought, said or felt about him or his presence; he was on a mission. If he had gotten all caught in people’s emotions towards him, he would have never completed the mission or fulfilled his purpose. He would have left us all in the balances to fend for ourselves. So, if they didn’t love or like Jesus; savior of the world? Who are you to get offended because you’re not being liked or accepted.
We live in a society that feeds off of acceptance and likes – you can see that all over social media. In this life, if you’re never liked or accepted by someone then that shouldn’t dull your shine on the magnificent person you are. Not only that, you have to do like I did and think; that’s only a few people – I bet if you look in your circle or around you, there are lives that you’ve changed and a host of people that think you’re AWESOME! so it doesn’t matter what the crumbs think. When people make a sandwich, they make it with two slices of bread and they eat it – can you imagine someone making a sandwich with just the crumbs? It wouldn’t be a very good sandwich, now would it. You may say, what does bread have to do with.
I want you to focus on the fullness of your life – there will be crumbs scattered along the way, but they hold no substance and are not fulfilling and therefore will not bring greatness to your life or your belly.
While everyone may not like you and WHO CARES! The only person you should be concerned about pleasing and being pleased with you is God; he says in Psalms 139:14 that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and the next person whose opinions should matter is YOURS! I no longer worry if people like me or not, want to hang with me or not, call me or not or say crazy things about me because of my personality or self-confidence and my ability to say NO to foolishness. I think I’m great and as long as I’m in good spirits about whose I am and who I am – I’ll continue to be happy and beat to my own DRUM!
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
Let’s Live Well, Laugh Loud & Love Hard!
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