Bleed – How To Write For The Heart

I love it when I tap the veins in my fingers and bleed virtues into a blank paper — when the place, time, season or how I feel no longer matter.

It’s like my fingers are taking my mind on a walk to find the door that opens to the place where my Muse lives. The more I write, the better the ideas touch down on earth fired up to run the walkway and leap into the heart of my readers.

Since I had read in the bible when I was young that the fingers of God wrote and still writing. I began to cherish my notepads far more than my clothes and money!

There is one simple, yet powerful thing that I have observed in the past 15 years that’s closely attached to how successful you will be – no matter your age, background, location or skin color.

That thing is called COMMUNICATION.

Think about this… at one stage or the other in your life, you will have to:

  • write an exam
  • speak to convince a recruiter
  • negotiate with your spouse, daughter or in a business deal
  • – put on a gesture to pass a piece of information or trigger others to action
  • read to learn, to solve your problems
  • listen to make different types of decisions

I have seen that if you don’t master how to write, speak, read, make gestures or listen, you will be faced with a lot of challenges in life.

This is why I have decided to take just one portion of the communication spectrum in the article, to show you how to write (and maybe say) things in ways that will get others to listen.

Don’t ever forget this: in any form of communication there is always an effective and compelling way to write that people will be hungry for more. You will hold their eyes at the jugular for massive attention.

Now, let me share with you a few examples and show you how to do that in real-time.

Example 1

Let’s say you want to describe a cooked food, what you simply need to do is express the description of the food by touching it, what do you feel (what happens) to your sense organs by just the touch of that food item.

>>> Look at this:

  • The aroma of the food danced around the whole building like butterflies that found sugar in a hibiscus flower. (Your organ of smell).
  • The taste is 5 times sweeter than honey. All my taste buds woke up and are thirsty for more. My lips and tongue couldn’t but stand at attention. (Your organ of taste).
  • The hot food chased off all the coldness on my lips. The harmattan found a path of quick escape. (Your organ of taste).
  • My eyes were in movies as the flames from the food escaped into my nostrils. (Your organ of sight and smell).
  • I could hear the joy among the food molecules eager to visit the drumming boys of hunger in my stomach. (Your organ for hearing).

What did you feel while reading that? Do you get the idea?

Example 2

Imagine that you want to describe how a pen works, again, try to infuse how your sense organs will perceive the pen when it is in action.

>>> Look at this:

  • My taste buds are always alive and thirsty for an apple, every time I open the tip cover of the pen. (Your organ of taste)
  • The ink flows effortlessly on my notepads like chilled water flowing down my chest on a hot afternoon. (Your organ of touch)
  • My eyes found pleasure as the words sparkle on the book leaflets. (Your organ of sight)
  • The gentle feel of the pen between my fingers reminds me of the succulent touch of a newborn baby. (Your organ of touch)
  • Hop, step, jump – the pen listens to me, it follows my hand as it moves through the canvas of the table. (Your organ for hearing)

Yeah, that’s it! Do you get the flow?

What you have tried to do above is to describe things that are inanimate, as if they are alive, have legs, and breathe like a human being.

One of the reasons why we will read that and enjoy it is because we are human beings, and we love to see things that sound like us.

That’s why we love people that see the movies we like, we join networks of people that are in the same professions as ours, and we become a fan of a football club because it is our best friend’s club of choice.

So, when you write, speak, or anything that has to do with communicating, one of the things you need to watch out for are the ways to dance to the tune of what people love to hear, by serving their emotions with the finest rows of words and sentences.

This doesn’t mean you need to be all flowery or have to overthink this process to master the art.

Start small, and build on it gradually.

For now, look over the two exercises above, and begin to change out a few words, connecting it with the appropriate simile (use of this, is ‘like’ that) and metaphor (this is that).


Damilola Fasoranti writes in his dreams and helps fearful entrepreneurs to finally launch their awesome dreams. He is a Tedx Speaker, a professional educator and the Chief Listener at Prikkle Academy (in Nigeria) where he provokes young people to turn their skills, gifts and knowledge into social solutions.

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Lunch and Soup – 4 Different Ways

I have a couple of questions for ya..

  • Are you on a budget? This girl definitely is!
  • Do you like Soup? Of course I do…(anything dealing with food really…haha)

So, yes…I’m on a very tight budget and I can’t or don’t I should say always have money to go and break a 20 on lunch only to have a couple of dollars left – Yesssss, food establishments make a killing off of our “lunch” dollars because they know 1 of 2 things to be true…

  1. You either left your lunch at home. -or-
  2. You were too lazy to cook.

And let me just say that I have been at the helm of both of those statements. And after going through what seemed like fifty dollars or more a week for lunch; I decided that enough was enough!

In which inspired this post >>>>> Lunch on a Budget for $20 or LESS!

With the cost of food seemingly going up every second it seems, it can be challenging to try and map out meals to bring to lunch everyday. I mean, who really wants to munch on PB&J or slurp up salty Noodles and Oodles. So, while shopping the aisles for lunch choices one day, I decided to get a couple of staple items and mix and match the ingredients for each day of the week – I even had a solution for snacks in between.

I have to be honest with you, shopping for food for lunch can be a little crazy; because you want to eat something different every day of the week and depending on your tastes buds, that can get a bit costly as well. So, listed below are a couple of things I picked up off the shelves and freezer section that lasted me all week and guess what (all of it was well under 20 dollars!!)

Here are my buys for Lunch:  Total Cost: $10.08 
  • Minute Rice – Multi Grain Medley – 2 @ 1.84 each
  • Bag of Mixed Vegetable – 1 @.57 cents
  • Green Giant Steamers Vegetable Medley/Broccoli Cheese – 2 @ 1.18 each
  • Green Giant Harvest Protein Bowl (Vegetarian) Southwest Style – 1 @ 3.47 each
Here are my buys for Snacks:  Total Cost: $8.81
  • Great Value No Sugar Added Pear Cups – 2 @ 1.43 each
  • Great Value No Sugar Added Mandarin Oranges – 1 @ 1.43 each
  • Great Value Dry Roasted & Lightly Salted Almonds – 1 Bag @ 4.52
What I had at Home:   
Sam's Choice Organic Bone Broth Chicken Total Cost: Free
  • Overall Cost: $18.89

So this is how I did it:

First, let me start with snacks. It’s 4 cups of fruit to a carton, so I had two snacks a day. A fruit cup and some almonds. I measured the almonds out according to the serving suggestion and put them in zip lock bags and took them all to work along with my fruit so I wouldn’t have to remember to take it everyday. So there were my snacks for the week. Two cups of fruit and almonds a day.

And then there was lunch. So for lunch, it was pretty easy. 1st Day: I had a cup of rice medley and some steamed veggies. 2nd Day: I had the steamed veggies with some chicken bone broth ( I made it like a soup). 3rd Day: I had the broccoli cheese and rice medley. 4th Day: I had the rice medley and the bone broth. 5th Day: I changed it up and brought in the Green Giant protein bowl, which was very delicious by the way, see below….

Green Giant Harvest Protein Bowl – Southwest Style

So, as you can see – lunch was not only cost efficient but different as I didn’t feel like I was eating the same thing every day……ever felt that way about a salad?? Any-who, the key to making this work is making sure you choose what it is you want to eat for the whole week. For instance, I knew that I wanted veggies – the only thing I needed to do next was find a partner to go with them and once I did….everything else was simple.

Don’t forget to incorporate items you may have at home, so another suggestion I would make is to check your cupboards before you go shopping. That frozen broccoli that’s been in the freezer for a month, could be paired with something delicious.

Think of things that you can use multiple times throughout the week without breaking the bank and going to the store everyday for items to eat (I’m still working on this feat for dinner as I do this currently). Don’t look at me like that, I’m a work in progress – say a prayer for me…lol.

Well, I hope your lunch time can now be an adventurous one. Oh and psssstttt, by the way, don’t be afraid to shop the yellow tags. I got some soup on sale last week at Wal-Mart for $.86 cents that usually run $2.87 cents. Now you may want to hurry and eat it up, because I mean, they put yellow tags on items for a reason, right???? rightttttttt…..but it can also save you loads off your pocket, especially for LUNCH!

Below is one of the creations with the products I purchased up top:

BON APPETITE!!

19+ Things to Think, Do & Achieve in 2019

Well, 2019 is officially here ready or not. WHOOMP, here it is! Remember that song by a group named Tag Team?? If you do please don’t blame me for that anthem swimming around in your head today, My Bad….

However, So what are your resolutions for this year? If you’re like me and I just got this way like a little over a year ago, I threw making resolutions out of the window. This is probably why this muffin top of a waist of mine has decided to make itself a permanent home. HA HA – I’m really going to work on that this year….

Anywho, whether you still do or believe in resolutions or even achieve them. I thought this year would be great to ditch the resolutions (again, in my case) and let’s think about how we want to think, what we want to do and simple things we can actually achieve for ourselves, without feeling so guilty when 2020 arrives, okay yes I know right now that’s far-fetched but did you see how 2018 left us like Justin Timberlake left *NSYNC or maybe a little more current like Toni Braxton just left Birdman a.k.a Cash Money? So yeah, you really can’t put off tomorrow what we are going to do this year….Okay??

I came up with 19 things because, well we’re in 2019 and there’s A LOT of ground to cover mentally, spiritually and physically. So, Let’s Get right to it shall we??

LET’S THINK MORE:

courtesy of pexels
  • Positively – No matter what, try to find the good in every situation. I promise it’s there.
  • Wisely – Let’s try to think before we speak, my mouth has gotten me into more trouble than I care to say and let’s not even talk about my emotions that drives the get-away car. The bible says, a soft answer turns away wrath but grievous words stir up anger. Tell your emotions to give you the keys….
  • Thoughtfully – Let’s think more about someone else than ourselves.
  • Maturely – I know this is hard but sometimes you have to be the bigger person in a situation, even if it means saying you’re sorry first.
  • Responsibly – you know what this means…lol
  • Unapologetically – having/living without regrets

LET’S DO MORE:

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  • Exercises, Exercise, Exercise – If you haven’t been to the gym in ages (like me…hehe) then you don’t want to go out the gate committing to working out an hour or more a day….That won’t happen. A little bit a day goes a long way….trust me! (5-10min is a great start!)
  • Picking Better Food Choices – Getting fresh meals delivered to your house every week is truly ideal (I may have to check into this later) however; it’s not affordable for everyone. So Instead, start small. It may be adding green beans instead of fries to a meal and/or opting for the side salad instead of the fries for a burger or picking up an apple or orange instead of the cookies out of the vending machine at work (preaching to the choir here, I’ve done it) Take Small steps towards health and soon….it’ll be a full commitment.
  • Things for ourselves – YASSSS!!! I mean this wholeheartedly. Ladies and Gents schedule a massage once a month or go get your nails, feet or hair done. Take some ME time for you, even if it means taking some time and going window shopping or getting an ice-cream cone. Even taking some time off work, not to run errands or do things for the kids but for YOU. Know how they say on an airplane cover your nose before anyone else’s? – Yes, Exactly…..YOU FIRST!
  • Calendars on Our phonesUse It! Soooo, let me just say I know all of our phones should have a calendar on them and that’s great if you use them. I noticed last year that my brain had failed me in remembering quite a few things – a friend then asked me, why don’t you use the calendar on your phone?? I know this might sound silly or juvenile but that calendar has been a lifesaver! We get new phones and sometimes don’t use half of the stuff on them…I don’t know if you do it or not, but make use of your phone calendar and it has reminders, so there’s no excuse to miss those very important appointments.
  • Say I Love You! – OMGosh, we don’t say this enough. Practice not only telling yourself this but others as well. LOVE IS THE KEY!
  • Take Chances – We miss many of the chances we don’t take. Take more chances
  • Forgive…..Need I say more?

LET’S ACHIEVE MORE:

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  • Dust it OFF – You don’t even have to tell me, everyone has something that they put on the back burner to be written, explored or tackled for later and that later ended or ends up being 2yrs long….whatever it is, dust it off and put yourself on a timeframe to get it done (For me? Book #2 is on the dust it off list, what’s on yours?)
  • Travel – In my mind, there are A LOT of places that I go too – only for them to be just that…stuck and lived out in my mind; have you been there? This year, plan to go on that long-awaited trip – even if it’s a hike…..travel someplace you’ve never been. I’m actually working on getting my passport and visa to travel to Africa or Russia this year….fingers crossed. Let’s hope my wallet is favorable = )
  • Social Media what you Say? – Okay, we all love social media and in this world (maybe this should’ve gone under the DO MORE tab) however, I feel as though we all could use a needed break from social media. It’s amazing because once I scroll and look at one pic or statement – next thing you know an hour or two has passed by and I’m tired. An hour or two lost that could’ve been used on something productive (like the Dust if Off bit above)
  • Take Some Classes – whether you want to cook better, learn how to ballroom dance, do pottery, take those much needed business classes or even if you want to learn how to crochet (not my thing and I tried it…lol) whatever it is you want to do, Nike says “Just Do It” I say “Just Take It” let’s be more adventurous this year, speaking of which….
  • MeetUps Anyone? – Last year I signed up to do a meetup with a group of writers who were supposed to meet at our local library here in town every week, needless to say – it didn’t work out as the library had not heard of such a group….anywho, there are plenty of meetup activities and places to go and get involved in, you just have to look for them and it depends on what you like or want to do – trust me, there’s a meetup for it. Check it Out!!
  • Go to the Movies and not on your Couch! – Yes, I do I do I do LOVE the Redbox and enjoy watching a movie in, rather than out. But going out to the movies over the holiday season with my two kids (We saw Bumblebee – Awesome movie by the way!! – Thanks Mallory for the gift card) was a joy. It allowed us to get out of the house and enjoy some fresh air as well as popcorn with everyone else, it was a good outing and I loved seeing an even bigger screen.

And Last but Not Least

JUST BE TRUE TO BEING YOU!!! NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS.

Life is short, don’t let another year go by without living yours out loud!!!

So, how was your holiday! And what are you thinking, planning or achieving this year!!

See Ya Soon! Roshonda =)

Dysfunctional Family & The Holiday Blues =(

The picture above courtesy of pexels

With Thanksgiving coming up next week, I thought I’d talk about family. The holidays are supposed to be the times in which we get together with family and laugh, talk, remanence, give thanks and most of EAT! But sometimes that’s not always easy, especially if you have dysfunctional family members or a MEMBER! which could make those holiday gatherings very uncomfortable.

There’s a quote that says, “Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with lots of nuts.” Does that sound like your family? Because let’s face it, we all have a family member or relatives who seem to have come from another planet than we did.

While we may all wish we can send them back for a replacement, they are still part of our family and despite the ups and downs that surround them, we have to deal with them and love them the same. I used to think that everyone had a good family except for me because we seemed to fight all the time and just when you thought everybody was getting along, something would come up out of nowhere.

It could be from something my mom said, my dad did, my sister thought or how I reacted, and the next thing we know, no one would pick up a phone for months on end.
As I got older, I realized that even the biggest families had issues and no family is perfect by any means and while my family was distant, there were other families who didn’t come together at all or allowed hatred to circle through them and build a fire that never ended.

We can’t save the world or help every dysfunctional family but listed below are a few tips to maybe keep the line of communication open with our estranged relatives before, during and after the holidays.

#1. Communicate regularly.

apple-device-cellphone-communication-594452

This may be very hard for some families because most of them have built up so many issues and have held onto so much hurt, that it’ll take several counseling sessions to get those layers pulled completely away. But I’ve found that most family situations can be solved if we can learn to talk to each other before a situation escalates out of control.

*At least you try to talk it out, even if they don’t want too*

Do your part, because at the end of the day, what YOU DID really will matter. If they choose not to conform, then you did your part – pray for them and move on. Hopefully, they’ll come around when they’re ready.

#2. Seek counseling from a family therapist.

individualtherapy

If regular communication does not succeed, then counseling is the next step. Some dysfunctional family issues may have nothing to do with you per se, but it could have something to do with what an older family member did.

Issues could’ve already been in place prior to your birth, in which the family never settled among themselves, which caused division with other family members. Counseling helps to get us past the “Then” to help us be better for the “Now” and future family generations to come.

#3. Back off but not completely.

fix-iphone-not-connected-to-itunes-device-time-out

Most families feel that most fiery problems will resolve themselves by staying away, in most cases, this only makes matters worse and hatred increase. While situations may become too strong to handle and you may have to back off just to protect yourself, don’t allow it to stay that way.

Don’t let weeks, months, or even years keep you from being connected to your family unless you have been totally pushed away and in that case – it’s not your fault or problem but the individuals who closed the door without making amends.

#4. Forgiveness is key.

Forgive

When you’ve made every attempt to bring about reconciliation, but find that there’s no effort on their part, then you have to forgive them and move on.
Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the behavior that dysfunction brings, but it allows us to learn from what happened and to let it go (in which is a process all by itself)

Remember, it’s not about what they did, what they said or what they haven’t done; it’s about what you do. Forgiveness is your pass to have peace for yourself not them.
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We cannot change our families, because we’re stuck with them forever. No matter what we think or how we feel about them, they are a part of us, and we are apart of them.
But you’ll find out that family no matter how dysfunctional it may be, is a really great addition to your life. It’s something that everyone dreams of having – even if it can’t be with their “natural” ones.

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Okay, so BIG announcement. My next post will be on next Wednesday and will be my last post for the year. I know, I know – don’t cry……haha (I’m sure you’re not) Anywho, I’ll not only be taking a break from blogging but also social media as well. After next week, I won’t be posting anything until after the beginning of the year. 

What will my last post be about??? You’ll have to see next week – hint, hint: it’s going to be light and informative (the fun informative =)

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Come On, Get Up! It’s TIMEEEEEEEEE To See the Orthodontist!!

The photo above and all photos below courtesy of bing

Okayyyy!!!! This is the last post for the month of October and I’d like to think that I saved the best for last, sort of. Anyhow, did you know that October is National Orthodontic Health Month? Yesssss, it really is and I have to say that I haven’t always been a huge “fan” of the dentist office. But in lieu of the month; I thought I’d share my childhood experience and adult mistakes concerning it. In which hopefully will be able to help you and maybe a child.

The 6th grade – that was the last time I remember ever going to an actual dentist. Prior to that, my mom always signed the papers for us to have those yearly dentist checks in what seemed like those humongous mobile vans in elementary school. I wasn’t sure if those were “serious” checks but I was always told that I didn’t have any issues, so I thought my teeth were fine. As long as I kept them brushed (twice a day, in which for me was once a day) I would be good.

Dental Health Bus

Once I got out of elementary school then that was Sayonara to the big tooth mobile and the dentist offices. I never went to a dentist or visited an office again! I know that sounds crazy, especially for all the dental geeks out there but it’s true. Once I graduated school and began to pursue employment – dental insurance was always offered and I’d get it – but never use it, I mean for what, on the outside, my teeth were perfectly fine.

Year after year, I would opt for the dental insurance and year after year – it would never get used. As my children grew older and got to the ages where they needed to see a pediatric dentist, I made it my business to take them – it was then that I learned that kids are supposed to have dental visits, every 6 months; OMGosh??? Really??? As naïve’ as I was about the dentist – I had no idea that it was really that important. Needless to say, I made sure both of my kids were there every 6 months.

But, still when it came to me – I continued paying and being a NO SHOW. I mean, I’m an adult now so what does it matter, right? When it came around again for us to re-enroll for insurance on the job, I decided that I would just drop the dental insurance altogether, it was a waste for me to have it and not use it and besides that was extra money that I could save and keep in my check, my teeth was a-ok, until I bit down on a starburst one day and felt this excruciating pain that I had never felt before and that’s when I realized…….I Needed an Orthodontist!!!

worried-woman

After suffering weeks with the same pain – I finally made an appointment “Do you have Dental Insurance??” I was asked, “Welllllllll, Uh-No! I said embarrassingly. Thank God for the Flex payments, that’s how I got thru my first cleaning and exam. In which was going to cost me a whopping 5,000 dollars overall, Because the perfect teeth I thought all these years that I had, were not so perfect after all – the shame of them, the shame of ME!!

By the time I left the dentist office that day, they gave me a LONGGGGGGG Santa Claus list of things that would have to be done to my mouth, including a root canal!!!! And a list of dental insurances that they recommend I get. Although I had Flex, it wasn’t nearly enough on there to cover the expenses. I was up a creek without a paddle for sure. However, it was the middle of summer and open enrollment is not until October soooo, I decided to put a cork in it, stay away from the starbursts…lol. And wait it out.

How about you? Have you had any dental history issues, problems or stories?

So, as we all know – Halloween is next week and I don’t know about you but I love a little candy and I’m not going to sit here and say that I won’t have a piece or two or ten…lol

Listed below are just a couple of tips for keeping those pearly whites clean not just on the outside but the inside as well.

  • Brush your teeth regularly – twice a day with fluoride toothpaste, especially after sugary foods and drinks. Sugar sitting on your teeth without being brushed off can lead to cavities.
  • Floss between your teeth – flossing, while it may seem old-fashioned is actually good and helps prevent gum disease. Brushing only gets part of the particles off of our teeth, Flossing helps get the hard to reach food in between your teeth that brushing misses.
  • Regular check-ups and cleanings are a must! – I didn’t realize this until I had my first “adult” visit. Regular visits can help discover things going on with your teeth that may not show up on the outside. Regular cleaning is also great in keeping your gums in check.
  • Mouthwash Anyone? – I hate the alcohol-based washes as they make my mouth feel as though I poured gasoline in it and lit a match. Too graphic, I’m sure. But mouthwash is good to rinse out any leftover particles from a meal that brushing and flossing may have missed, plus who doesn’t like good smelling breath.

Well, there you have it – that’s my story and my tips. Hopefully, you’ve had a better experience and word to the wise? – Please keep your dental insurance active!! You really “WILL” need it someday =)

dental covered

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“LOOK UP, LOOK AROUND AND LOOK WITHIN, BECAUSE THERE REALLY IS POSITIVITY IN EVERYTHING” – BY YOURS TRULY

 

And now for your weekly Announcements! 

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Billy Wolf & The Kids Of Heavenly Hills Elementary is Available NOW! A faith-based book about bullying and how using our voice can really make a difference. But, hey – Bullies have secrets too. Order Your Copy Today!

“Very detailed, my daughter read it and loved it as well!! This is very much needed in today’s world!! God bless you!!” Kresha W. 

Will your Review be the Next Featured?

Did you miss the podcast about the book? – Listen to it here >>>>>> Episode 9 

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“Billy Wolf & The Kids of Heavenly Hills Elementary”

NOW AVAILABLE THROUGH THESE MAJOR ONLINE BOOK OUTLETS

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