Category: Life

Letting It ALL Hang Out – Part 2

Published on by Roshonda B5 Comments

Featured Photo by Mica Asato from Pexels

A BIG YAY!!!! if you read Part 1 of letting it all hang out and have come back for Part 2. I really appreciate you and Guess Whattttttt……A VIDEO!!! Ha-ha…

WHOSE THE BOSS NOW – PHONE STORAGE!!

Okay, so maybe you’re just seeing part 2 and don’t know what the heck I’m talking about, well you’ll just have to read part 1 to know the excitement I’m feeling at this moment. This is just a “getting to know me” post of questions that I get asked all the time or pretty frequently. The first 6 were last week and this week is the last 6 with a bonus.

Have you Read This? >>>> Letting It All Hang Out, Part 1

I hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know me…if you’d like to ask a question, just leave it in the comment section and I’ll answer it – I’m pretty much an open book except for on the subject of “Politics”- My mind just can’t take it. You know there are conversations that people just get a kick out of having and that’s one that I don’t but any other question is acceptable.

So let’s get into it again – Push play, if you haven’t already…lol.

Oh No!! where’s the video!?! Okay, so the excitement above is totally how I imagined things happening in a sunflower and rainbow world – hence the pic below…

Image credit: by Susanne Jutzeler from Pexels

But as you can see – My phone really is the boss of me…

Image credit: Bing/Gif

Well, while I imagine and dream of getting a new one, in the meantime listed below are the “typed out” second part of the questions I get asked a lot or have just experienced recently.

The Show Must Continue So, On and Upward – Here they are…

1. What Do You Like to Do in Your Spare Time?

Wow. Sometimes I don’t feel like I get a lot of spare time but when I do, I enjoy watching movies and Series – I don’t know if you remember that show “The Office” with Steve Carell, but over the weekend, I watched Season 3 of that. It was a very off humor type of show. I found the DVD at the Salvation Army for $2.99 in which was a steal! Which brings me to my next thing I love to do in my spare time and that’s shop at the thrift stores, I absolutely love it.

You can find some really good deals and steals there – a friend of mine got married earlier this month and I needed some silver shoes, just happened to go in there after an appointment a couple of days before her wedding and found a cute pair of silver wedged sling backs for $3.99 and they were BRAND NEW! I couldn’t pass that up and they went great with my outfit. Other things I like to do is write, relax and sleep in if I can.

2. Do you have any Crazy Indulgences?

OMGosh, I used to have a crazy indulgence about listening to celebrity gossip. Truth is I was subscribed to over four or five YTube channels – all of which were nothing but celebrity gossip channels in which they all talked about the same thing but each gave their different take on the matter and evidence. I was so hooked on that and reality shows…but you know how things can overtake your life, energy and space? I realized that, that was what these things were doing.

Image credit: Bing

I would even push off important things to watch! I was addicted you can say, finally one day I realized that I had to stop and let something go, well – I ended up letting them all go. It was too much, I was paying more attention to their lives than my own and you know what the bible says about having “other gods” (notice the little g) before the big God (notice the big G) We have to pay attention to the things in our lives that we yield our mind, body and spirit too.

3. What are your biggest accomplishments outside of blogging?

Well, let’s see…I used to think that blogging was not an accomplishment because it didn’t yield me a lot of followers or make me famous (true story) but blogging is an accomplishment as a matter of fact anything in our life is an accomplishment when we’ve decided to quit playing around with our dreams and goals and actually go after them, not just by mouth but by hands and foot and what I mean by that is, you’re working to make it happen; because talking about it and actually doing it, is two different stories. I’ve written a children’s book and I was able to do book reviews for two authors.

I finally put the foot to the plow and started my own business this year, its up and coming (really new, like last month new) but I’m finally letting go of fear and putting myself out there. I’m also a singles ministry leader and this year makes year two of “The Naked Truth” gathering. You know how some people start something but you don’t hear about it anymore? Well, God bless – this was a vision he gave me and a friend of mine and we’re doing it! (If you want to know more about this, just ask me in the comment section)

4. Are you married?

The question is no but I would love to be “again” one day. I got married when I was 24 years old. I was excited about it however; he wasn’t the man I wanted to marry. I mean I said yes on that “predictable” Valentine’s Day. (I say predictable because why people choose holidays to propose, its so cliche’ – the older me now knows that, the younger me then was ecstatic!) He wasn’t the man I wanted or even needed in my life. Truth be told I only married him because I felt convicted every time I went to church, we were living together after he got kicked out of his place. I had just purchased my first home at 23 and it looked and smelled soooo good, That was also a great accomplishment, says the younger me (the older me now knows while this was an accomplishment, I should have waited until I was mature enough to know what “home ownership” really meant. He moved in and it seemed like everything sweet turned sour.

Image credit: Bing

He was a mess and he brought his mess to my place. I was immature, I didn’t know what marriage really entailed; I was going by the way it looked in movies but I wasn’t prepared to deal with it in real life and I sure didn’t have a knight in shining armor. He was married twice and had older kids, one at the time was just getting to high school, and the other had just graduated. And there I was, no kids – had never been married and with someone whom had already experienced life, I was looking for someone that I could experience life with…sigh…but I just didn’t have the voice to speak up and say it. I felt like he was the best I could do (oh if I knew then what I know now) I would tell anyone, get to know who you are first before you bring someone into your life. Spend time with you, love you – Raise the rent on your self-worth and charge taxes!!

5. When was the last time you cried?

So, I’ve been crying ever since my mom passed in 2016. She was my rock, my love and while we had our ups and downs as mother and daughter, she was my best friend and I miss her every day, she’s in my heart and mind every day. There are little things that I see or experience that lets me know she’s around me, those are the things I cherish most. However, I don’t really cry every day, although that first year was tough, God bless, every year after thus far has gotten a little better, I still have my moments but for the most part, I know who my mom was, how she lived and who she served so that gives me comfort that she’s in a much better place.

But the last time I cried was like two weeks ago when someone told me that they wonder if I’m a true Christian because my faith was small and not as elaborate as theirs….this hurt me to the core and the person that said it to me, we would pray together, talk about the bible together and they knew how much I valued God, but you’d still turn around and say something crazy like that to me? I was appalled! Everyone’s faith is different, some people have the faith to believe that they can walk on a car lot today and leave with a brand new car and they actually do it! But you have others whose faith may not be that strong – it’s not because they don’t believe in God it’s just that their faith isn’t there yet but that’s where the bible says, “The strong, ought to bear the infirmity of the weak” So in the areas where I’m weak, you should be strong. Needless to say it took me some time to talk back with that person…

6. Do you have any crazy eating habits?

YES! almonds and cream cheese are my newest snacks that I enjoy eating together. I love dipping my almonds in cream cheese and eating it…ha-ha, yesssss – it’s so good so you have to try it. That’s if you like that sort of thing. Someone once told me about putting pimento cheese (hint, hint Palmetto Cheese – the Pimento Cheese with Soul is the ABSOLUTE BEST out there!!) and ham on a sandwich, Chillleee?!? – it’s now one of my favorite things to eat and with a side of tomato and chips? This girl is in #foodie heaven! For reals….lol

Image credit: The blackpeppercorn.com
7. Will you Blog forever?

That question is “I don’t know” – I honestly didn’t think I’d be blogging this long but I’m here. I’ll blog as long as God gives me the strength to do it and as long as I have something to talk about. There are times where I feel like I need to take a break from it and I’m going to be doing that very soon (more to come that) but otherwise – I  plan to continue and that’s only if nothing else takes precedence such as getting married to a prince (heheheh – I’ll give you time to catch that one)

Well, that’s it in a nutshell, that’s all about ME! Of course if you have any questions that you’d like to ask, feel free to ask in the comments. Thanks so much for reading, commenting and even following! I have a few new followers and I’ll let you know about them next week! because I already held you long enough =)

Take Care! See Ya In the Blogs soon enough. Much Love.

Letting It ALL Hang Out – Part 1

Published on by Roshonda B13 Comments

Featured Photo by Susanne Jutzeler from Pexels

Just in case you were wondering about the title, this blog post and the part 2 (yes, there’s a part 2…haha) coming next week will be ALL about MOI! a.k.a “Yours Truly – Me!” Maybe you know me already and want to skip this post as well as next weeks and I’d totally understand ORRRRR, maybe you’re just a little curious about me (weather you’re new to the blog or not, it’s just a guess) However, maybe you’d like to know some quirks as well as a little background information about me so here it is! I know you been waiting all your life for this…haha, don’t mind me – I always imagine things TOTALLY different in my head space =)

So, because you asked for it (In my head space again) I’m going to answer about 12 questions, some today and the rest next week in regards to things I get asked all the time or have just been getting asked about as of late. These are just a few questions but if you have questions of your own that you’d like to know – just ask. I’m pretty much, somewhat, okay, ALOT of an open book so you can ask me anything – except about politics. I’m not a political person, Yes – I do vote as that’s my right but I don’t like political talk of any kind. I have my opinions but I’d rather keep those to myself and my head space ; )

I have to admit I wanted to do a video answering these questions and be all different and unique…lol…but in my Kevin Hart voice:

Photo Image: Kevin Hart

I promise you!! It’s like I have to delete everything on my phone in order for it to run smoothly and do cool things….UGH!!!….My storage prompt is on right now because this silly phone wants me to delete pics! I know, I know….Yes, I need another phone but honestly I can’t afford to get one right now (the one that I want that is!) so I’m subject to taking commands from it. At the moment, it’s my boss so I have to do what it tells me to do…..

Photo Credit: ICANHASCHEEZBURGER.COM

Any-who, here’s getting to know me a little better. I hope you enjoy and for those that know a word of prayer?, while you’re throwing up your timber (as the seasoned elders would say a.k.a “request”) to the big man upstairs?, put my phone needs in there as well. I really appreciate ya and Thanks in Advance!!! =)

I PUT THESE QUESTIONS IN AN ENVELOPE AND JUST PULLED THEM OUT RANDOMLY, SO HERE GOES…

1. What’s your background? (Any sisters, brothers, mom, dad OR KIDS)

Yes, my background is a little interesting and it would take me writing a novel to tell you all the in’s and out’s of it…lol, but seriously it would. However, I am the oldest of two girls. We never was blessed to have any brothers but I have an awesome brother-in-law in whom I love dearly and is like a brother to me. Me and my middle sister are two years apart, my baby sister and I are five years apart. People used to tell my mom that it didn’t look like she had girls as old as she did, but she literally grew up with us, which brings me to my next question – My MOM

My mother was 16 yrs old when she became pregnant with me. She was a young girl looking for love in all the wrong places after her mother sent her away at 12 yrs old, citing the fact that her “husband” didn’t want her living there anymore. So my mom went to live with her cousins in Arkansas, people she hadn’t even met before. There was a lot of things that happened to her during that time. My mom although having me out of wedlock, counted it as a blessing because she finally had someone growing inside of her that she felt was going to love her and that I did, now – My DAD

Didn’t know him, seen him twice in my now 40 yrs of life. He paid child support a couple of times when I was in high school and that was about it. I did talk about him more in depth on my “My Favorite Childhood Memory“ video

I have two kids a daughter and a son (ones a full blown teen and the other a tween, both are running me a little crazy). Know anyone that would like two kids?…..lol (their my babies though and I love them dearly) and NO, I don’t want anymore…but thanks!! =)

2. Does anything ever bother you? Pet Peeves?

Oh gosh yes!! I have a few pet peeves such as I can’t stand a person that creates confusion…oh my that gets under my skin or when someone is a compulsive liar…phew! honey, can’t take it. However, there is one pet peeve that raises the hair on my neck and that’s when I’m in the grocery store, especially the self-checkout and someone is standing so close behind me until I literally feel their breathe on my neck. That bugs the heck out of me. Now when I go thru the self checkout I make sure I’m standing in front of my basket and I leave it there until I get all my groceries out, check them and then I move my basket…lol. I just can’t take it….it works my nerves over….lol

3. How old are you?

Well, I just celebrated a birthday last month. I officially turned the BIG 4-0! I don’t know what it is but it’s something about turning those ages such as 20, 30, 40, 50 and so forth and it’s another thing when you get to the top of the mountain as I say of all of those ages such as 25, 35, 45 and 55. I can’t explain it but it’s like a light bulb or something awakens on the inside of you. You begin to think and see life completely different or as a friend once told me “The things that once mattered, don’t matter and the things that do matter, do.” And that’s the truth – now at 40 I notice that I’m more “conscious” about what I say, do and what I put in my body as everything plays an affect on you somehow.

4. What’s your Daytime Job – What do you do in real life.

In reality – I work in administration at a University. I’m a singles ministry leader for my church and I just started my own small biz entitled “Roshonda-BCreative” in which is a writing and creative design publication company. It just started and as of right now I’ve only had one client but I’m praying to God that it grows and grows. It may not make me rich and that’s okay, I’m just excited to get it up and going. I’m putting all fear & doubt aside and making it happen. Pray for me!

5. What’s your biggest embarrassment

I almost took this question out of the list. Let me see, I have a couple of things I’m embarrassed about – one is the fact that I didn’t allow myself time to get to know me, my goals and really search for what it was that I really wanted to do in life. For the better part of my 20’s and 30’s I found myself becoming more engulfed in finding love, getting married and settling down with one man only and that could have happened, however, I wasn’t patient enough to wait on God for it. Therefore I married someone whom, well that’s one of my questions for next week…I’ll tell you then. The other embarrassment is the fact that I never got a college degree, before you unsubscribe….because that’s always been my fear of telling people that. Not so much because people will unsubscribe to the blog, I mean you do you boo. Every audience isn’t for everyone and I’ve learned to accept that. However, I don’t tell people for fear they’d find me less interesting or think I’m “less than” because I don’t.

Photo Credit: Bing/Discouragement/ibelieve

I’m the one that always puts “some college” on applications or whenever that question comes up. It’s just that when I got out of school, I had “no clue” about what I wanted to do. I thought it was going to be nursing, but I quickly realized I hated needles – especially sticking people with them. Then I wanted to go for business administration but didn’t know what area I wanted to specialize in. On top of all that – being the oldest and having a mom on disability, I felt obligated to work to help supplement the income that was coming in the house – so that’s what I did, I worked. I went to training’s, took small classes and googled what I didn’t know. I worked my “tush” off to get where I am today, it was a much longer road around but I learned from the best (good and bad).

I had some tough teachers in the office administration field who at the time, got this egotiscal, twenty something girl in shape! I learned and became pruned by some not so good bosses and/or people as well. I learned a lot, more than I probably would have learned in a traditional school but I won’t lie, I think about having a degree all the time. I know it’s never too late to do anything and one day I just may surprise myself and do it!

6. Who Are You?

I’ve been “deemed” as the encourager in my what I like to call “short lifetime” it’s something that comes very natural to me and I love inspiring people, I’m always looking for the positive lining in everything and/or looking for ways to turn things around into one. This job is not easy and I have to watch what I say. Sometimes you can boost people up and maybe it’s not what needs to happen or they have other underlying issues that need to be worked out, so instead of sugar-coating. I try to be honest (especially when my opinion is being asked) and tell a person like it is.

I’m just a woman with a little girl inside of her whose trying to live out the dreams she never thought she was either good enough or ever could do. I have issues just like the next person, I cry (another question asked – next week!) and have had many low points too. For some reason people tend to think I don’t get mad or cry or have bad days! I experience not so good days and go through ups and downs just like the next person. I’m not perfect, I make many mistakes as a matter of fact so many, if you look in the dictionary you might just see my pic next to the word. It’s not about who you are really, it’s about how you handle situations – including life, which is different for us all. All in all I’m HUMAN – that’s who I am first.

Well, Did you get to know me a little better? I hope you did! Maybe next week I’ll be able to do a video (fingers crossed if my phone and it’s storage will cooperate ; )

More Questions and Answers next week! stay tuned!

#Sunday’s Thought: Do You Have A Fork??

Published on by Roshonda BLeave a comment

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

What’s up everyone! It’s been a minute since I did a Sunday Thought, as a matter of fact this is the first one of 2019 and it’s a good one. So stick with me for about 5 min, if you read faster than that well this is going to be a breeze!

So Get Those Forks & Let’s dig into it…

I want to ask you a question: Do you happen to have a fork? I’m sure you’re probably thinking, who doesn’t?? Which takes me to my next question: Do you know what the meaning of the silverware trio when it’s placed in front of you at a restaurant? I have to be honest; I learned what those shiny utensils truly were in the movie “Pretty Woman” haha, to those that have seen the movie – remember when he was trying to teach her what the salad fork was and the dinner fork and the placement of each? Yeah, I was learning right along with Julia Roberts. I just never knew that there was any meaning behind utensils, I just knew that some were BIG, others were small and okay, now where’s the food! Lol..

#This is Me!

But everything in life has some type of symbolism and/or meaning to it. As the adage says “There’s a reason for everything” and that statement couldn’t be further from the TRUTH! Since that time of learning what utensil was used for what, I never really gave another thought to utensils having any other meaning until my sister sent me a story some weeks back that brought a somewhat spiritual meaning to one particular utensil and that was the FORK.

The story goes a little something like this:

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things ‘in order,’ she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. 
She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.

“There’s one more thing,” she said excitedly..”What’s that?” came the Pastor’s reply.
“This is very important,” the young woman continued. “I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.” The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.”That surprises you, doesn’t it?” the young woman asked.”Well, to be honest, I’m puzzled by the request,” said the Pastor.

The young woman explained. “My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, “Keep your fork.” It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming …. like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!”So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder… “What’s with the fork?” Then I want you to tell them: “Keep your fork … the best is yet to come.”


Photo by Plush Design Studio from Pexels

The Pastor’s eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming. 
At the funeral people were walking by the young woman’s casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, “What’s with the fork?” And over and over he smiled. 

During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. 

I’m sure after that story, you’ll begin to look at your fork as not just some small eating utensil but now you’ll look at it and eat off of it with PURPOSE!

I don’t know what you may be going through today or even what battles you may face tomorrow or in the months to come, but I want you to keep these quotes in mind “Trouble don’t last Always” – “Joy Comes in the Morning” but most importantly “YOUR BEST IS YET TO COME!!” – the bible says, we’re supposed to count it ALL joy when we fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of our faith, produces patience (James 1:2-3)

So, hold on to your fork knowing that SOMETHING GREATER IS COMING!!

Let this song by Martha Munizzi encourage you today, it’s one of my favorites!!

Reflection: The Number 4 & It’s Celebratory Moment In My Life

Published on by Roshonda B7 Comments

Featured Image above: by The Lazy Artist Gallery from Pexels

Ahhhh, or I guess I should say “WOOSAH” Where in the world do I start. Ever since I beat out shyness at the age of 30 (Yeah, late bloomer here), I’ve really never been at a loss for words but for some reason when it came down to reflect on the number 4 and 40, you’ll find out those meanings in a sec. I honestly didn’t know where to start, what to really say or if I should just skip this week and not post at all…

I have to admit, I’m usually prepared and have things scheduled, but this post is literally coming at you word-for-word as I sit at my computer and type away. Well, here it goes…

So the number 4 and 40 are celebratory because the number 4 represents a hurdle crossed that I didn’t think would last a month, less known a year. The number 40 represents the turn of a century that I honestly didn’t think I’d live to see. Without further ado, let’s begin with the number 4 in which all started in March when I got this beautiful notification from WordPress:

Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com! You registered on WordPress.com 4 years ago. Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.

I mean, has it been 4 years already?? – Geesh, where has the time gone? I remember the month and day that I started this blog. It’s amazing because months prior I was beginning to wonder, what in the world my purpose/gift was. You know there’s a time in all of our lives where you want to become more strategic with your purpose and you begin to put more thought into what you’re doing and how what you’re doing is affecting the people around you. I had no idea what my true purpose was, I did in a sense but I hadn’t began to really cultivate it.


Photo by Buenosia Carol from Pexels

Mind you, I’ve always been known as the “jack of all trades.” I could tell you how to do anything but I wasn’t a master at any of it. At one point I felt as if I was just put here on earth to just fly with the wind but deep inside I knew something more was there – people would look at me and the only thing I would get was “There’s something about you, I just can’t put my finger on it” In any case this could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it…lol.

However, In my spirit, I felt as if I should be doing more as if whatever it was I was doing, was nothing compared to what I should’ve been doing – if any of that even makes sense. As I scrolled through my email one day I saw the advertisement for WordPress and starting a blog, as soon as I see that advertisement – something in my spirit jumped as if to say “THAT’S IT!” needless to say, I didn’t take the bait and waited another 6 months in which I see the same advertisement and again, my spirit leaped and again, I didn’t do it. March 13, 2015 – there it was again except this time, the feeling I felt was forceful as if I was in labor and the baby was coming…whether I was ready for it or not.


Photo by Nicholas Githiri from Pexels

I felt something deep inside me say “DO IT NOW!!” and I did it, right then and there. I was hesitant about paying for my domain name, choking up the excuse of “I didn’t have the money” I learned a lesson from that experience and through it – I birthed my first blog post on this site entitled “Invest in Yourself……First!” and the rest as the old adage says “is history” I had no idea what I was going to talk about or even if this blog would last. Sometimes I can be an “it’s new” type of gal and once I get bored, It’s thrown to the side with other unfinished projects. I have to say, I acknowledged God every step of the way and 4 years later, here I am and I’m so grateful for the love, the support and the followers new and old who have stuck with me throughout this time.

I know there’s people out there that read the blog and never like or leave a comment but they read it and I’m even more grateful for that support as well because there’s a lot of things out here that could get your attention but to give me 5% of it, I count it an honor and I’m humbled. If we never meet or speak to each other, know that I feel the love.


Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

SOOOOOOOOOOO……that’s that, now you might be thinking, what’s up with the 40! Well, that’s how old I’ll be turning on tomorrow! I’m nervous, scared, disappointed, happy and optimistic all at the same time. Not sure if you can have all those arrays of emotions going on but I certainly do.

My doctor told me earlier this week that his friend told him that his 40’s were his best decade ever and I’m soooo holding on to that. There are so many things I can say about going into 40. I’ve experienced a lot of ups as well as downs getting to this point and I’ve made some terrible mistakes but I’m going into 40 with a little more wisdom and a lot of more love for myself. It’s sad because if I can be honest, I messed up my 20’s and most of my 30’s and even though, by 30, I’d finally discovered my voice. I had trouble using it and continuously welcomed, unacceptable behavior in the terms of “toxic” relationships.

Over that period, I’d gained many friends and lost just as many. Some for no apparent reason at all – I just happened to look around and realized they were no longer there. Some instances of that happening hurt like hell (pardon the language) and in other circumstances, I was glad for the departure. I’ve learned a lot getting to this point and it’s true what they say, the older you get you tend to become less worried about what people think, what people say and how people view you. I now realize my worth and KNOW who I am. I’m no longer hungry for love, attention or friendships. I allow things to happen organically now, which in my opinion – is best.


Photo by Godisable Jacob from Pexels

The one thing I’m looking forward to in my 40’s is my kids graduating high school and completing college if I should still be writing at 50 and if their heads are screwed on right (fingers crossed) They’d be done accomplished both by the time I reach the end of my 40’s. So it’ll be cool to see what my reflections I write at that time for sure.

Going into 40 while I’m working on my emotions towards it. One emotion I’m sure of and that’s the bittersweet moments. (Okay, the flood gates are about to swing wide open..) I miss my mother dearly. Every year, no matter what age I turned, she would always have her “mother-daughter” coming of age talk with me. My mother had experienced it all and seen it all so she was destined to tell me every year what the new age would hold for me and how I should conduct myself as a lady. It was her thing and I loved it. Every time I would get ready to turn an age, I would ask “Okay, mama when do I need to schedule my talk with you” – haha. If she was here I would have gotten my birthday present in February….lol lol. She always gave birthday gifts EXTRA early.

It’s funny because I wonder what wisdom she’d share with me in regards to the 40’s, I would give anything to have at least 15 min with her – but mama’s gone now…

Please help me say “WHOOSAH!!”


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Moving Forward >>>

You know Life is unexpected and while living it – you’ll have your many ups, downs and coming out of nowhere situations but guess what – you just have to live it, make the best of whatever it throws at you and celebrate every…single…moment! I mean, every one of them, no matter how big or how small. Because we only are guaranteed one shot, some are lucky and get more – but you have to live it as if ONE is all you have and will ever get.

Embrace it, Cherish it, Hug, Love, Kiss and CELEBRATE!

I don’t know what this next phase will hold. I’m sure like with everything else, there will be many ups and of course some low downs but I’m praying for bigger and better accomplishments, I plan to continue to be on the grind and crush goals. I plan to produce one, two or more books to be published – prayerfully from a traditional publisher. Build my business (RoBCreative), raise these teenagers into something great (again, fingers crossed) and LOVE, give back and invest. I think love has finally found me, maybe i’ll be able to write about that someday.

Whatever comes and whatever goes, I’m standing with open arms ready to embrace it and like my doctor said, maybe the 40’s will truly be my best decade starting tomorrow and to infinity and beyond….I’M READY.


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If you made it to the end of this post, Thanks for sticking around, I truly winged this one ; )

Can I have My Deposit Back – PLEASSSSEEEEE!!

Published on by Roshonda B2 Comments

True Story – I mean all my stories are true but you get it =)

In 2007 after living in an apartment with someone with HUGE feet living above me, Oh gosh – the noise and stomping. I can’t even begin to explain the torture, any-who I decided to move out and move into a nice little quaint house on the other side of town. I inquired about it, looked at it and had a sit down with the landlords in which were an elderly couple (names I shall not say), but they were super nice. The only thing they wanted was someone to take care of the place. While the place was really small, it had a load of character in which I loved.

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Immediately I began to see where I would put all my furniture and how I was going to make smaller areas, such as my bedroom work. The washer and dryer was going to have to be in the kitchen, a feature I didn’t particularly like, but hey. It had loads of charm and it was well maintained. It had a very nice backyard with a storage building. So any furniture I was not going to be able to fit into the space, could easily go into there.

Another feature I didn’t notice but quickly became annoyed with was the fact that the house was 15 steps from the local AIRPORT!!! Geeshhh, you know how you get so gung ho and excited over something until you forget the MAJOR details! I’m so like that. But, it had loads of charm! A three bedroom 2 full bath, who can beat that and the kitchen was even big enough for me to put in a computer desk for my office. How cool was that!

Immediately with the place, I would say about a week or two in – I seen a huge water bug making it’s way out of the kitchen. Scared the living daylights out of me…but it wasn’t the last one, it seemed like when we moved in – a whole other family moved into the furnishings as well. It was indeed water bug city! I immediately told the couple about this and they suggested I put down sticky traps along the walls and that I did…while it helped some, the kicker was a BIGGER than life one crawling across my TV screen as I watched the news one morning….I was livid! I had a 8 month old and a 1.5 year old at the time and I was so scared one of those suckers was going to bite them or get into my son’s crib or my daughters BED! Needless to say and to make a long story short, after living there for about a year and a half, I decided it was time to go.

The elderly couple that seemed so nice in the beginning turned into monsters in the end!

I cleaned the place to the best of my ability and mind you, as with moving you will have a load of stuff to throw away and I made sure it was placed neatly in front of the house so the garbage people can pick it up. I left the house in good standing. No rips or tears anywhere and it was clean….so now I awaited my 500 dollar deposit to come into the mail. A deposit that I never received.

What I did receive was a letter from the couple citing that I had lost and/or misplaced a couple things of theirs and they charged the heck out of me for it:

  • Missing curtains that were hung up to the window when they showed the place that were no longer there. Now I don’t know if these curtains were new, but they charged me store prices for all 4 curtains!
  • Missing stove and AC unit manuals that were not in the drawer when I left.
  • Burners for the stove that were not replaced
  • The trash that was left out front – Yeah, they charged me for that too.
  • The clear shower curtains that were not on the shower rods and they charged me for the rods as well.
  • Painting and a whole lot of other stuff that I can’t even name or was unaware of and they tacked on the charges majorly….like those manuals? Yeah, they called the company and found out how much it would cost to get another one and it wasn’t cheap!

By the time they got done calculating and adding things up that didn’t make a lick of sense, I not only wasn’t getting my deposit back but I had owed them money, money in which they put me on a payment plan to pay back $25.00 a month until the balance of 200.00 was paid in full, this was two hundred after the five hundred I didn’t receive. I was SOOOOOOOOOOO (excuse my language) PISSED! I called them both RAGING in fury, crying and cursing them out to the top of my lungs and then I hung the phone up in their faces.

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Now, I’m not proud of my actions as they were elderly and I should’ve showed them respect, no matter how they acted – but I wanted my deposit back!!!!!!! Hence the move, I ended up back at my parents house and was looking forward to that money to help alleviate some irons I had in the fire – owing someone was NOT what I was expecting, BUT it happened.

Recently, I just moved and since that move. I got my full deposit back. While that issue with the elderly couple was a tragic one, it was also an eye-opening one that taught me a valuable lesson going forward and I want to share a couple of tips with you in regards to it!

FIRST THOUGH…..

Image credit: Bing/livingwordmontrose.com

Every landlord is NOT created equal. People say private owners are better but I’ve had both and each had their own set of rules and regulations. Private owners are a little more relaxed but you have to make sure – you get all your “I’s” and “T’s” crossed! and please by ALL means, if you don’t understand something – ASK QUESTIONS and read the lease thoroughly (especially the move out section), because the information that’s contained in it, can come back to haunt you later.

NOW FOR THE TIPS….

Image credit: Bing/steinbachapartments.com

1. Do a complete walk thru of the place before you move in. Make sure you look for anything that may not look right to you. Bulbs, sockets, paint, previous holes that may be in the wall, under the sinks, the toilets – I mean everything and make a list of those findings and give it to the landlord, this ensures that you are not charged with anything that was previously there prior to moving in.

2. Be careful of the pictures you hang on the wall. I know in my earlier years of renting, I was a landlords nightmare! because I absolutely love decorating. I would hang big art on the walls and some of it would be heavy, causing me to use an anchor or a heavier nail or screw. And trust me, I got dinged for my creativeness when it came down to getting back that deposit. While landlords cannot take away your deposit due to normal wear and tear of a property, such as (paint, carpet and etc – depending on how long you’re there) They can deduct if the walls are damaged from either hanging pics that are too big or major holes caused by you. Make sure you get those patched up before leaving.

3. Are there things in the apartment or house prior to you moving in? As I stated above in my own story. The landlords had put up curtains and shower curtains and rods and so forth to make the place look nice. If there is anything of the such hanging up prior to your move in, ask the landlord are those your items to keep or would they like them back. Another thing you could do is take them all down and place them in a box labeled “Decorative items prior to move in” so you can make sure those items go right back up when you leave. It sounds petty but….as you seen with my story, it was a SERIOUS thing!

Image credit: Bing/Trulia

4. It’s wise if you do a walk-through of your place prior to leaving. Check everything and determine what you need to do to either fix it or call a professional to get it prepared. And if you can, try and replace the things that may have gotten damaged prior to you staying there, especially if it was in good condition before you moved in.

5. Take a video and or pictures of the place prior to moving out and keep receipts of everything that you might have replaced or gotten fixed. This covers you should you have a slumlord that thinks he’s keeping your deposit. Speaking of which and every state is different. Make sure you check with your state to see the time-frame a landlord has to return your deposit. For NC it’s 30 days, some landlords will give it back to you sooner than that, while others will stretch it out. Knowing this information will help you know when to expect it.

Bonus Tip: Be clear in the beginning about what your deposit will be used for. Either the last month’s rent or the deposit in which you’re expected to get back, should the place be in good standing. Talk with your landlord about this as most people confuse the deposit to be the last month’s rent and unless your landlord has told you differently. Then know that it’s clearly a deposit only.

I have one last tip and that’s How to Properly decorate your new “rental” space! Sometimes we can go a little overboard. That’s next week, so stay tuned!