photo above courtesy of bing
Hey You! Happy New Year!!!
I don’t know about you but I could have used another week of rest, 2017 came in as fast as it went out and honestly it went so fast until there are only a couple of things or months I should say that I really remember, let’s hope and pray that this year goes by a little slower because I can’t do Christmas again in 2 months….get it?…LOL!
Okay, so here we are in 2018 – Isn’t it exciting when a new year rolls around? It’s a fresh time in which we all declare for the 18th time that we’re going to finally get our life right! We make our list and promise to really stick to it this time – more than we did in years past and while we’re working on finally loosing those extra pounds, getting our finances in order and actually SAVE money this time around or get up the nerve to go back to school to get that degree, there’s one more thing that I am adding to my “resolved” list this year and that’s to exercise my right in saying NO!….let me explain..
Sometimes I can be a people pleaser and I’m easily pressured into doing things that I wouldn’t normally want to do….BUT!….because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or make someone feel bad or have someone not like me; I say YES. I constantly have to catch myself at times because I’m known to do things out of impulse because I feel that’s what people want me to do or I’ll stall on giving a complete answer and when I do say yes to something and my yes doesn’t work out, I hide in a corner or duck and dodge around to keep from facing the individual or the truth of the matter – all because I’m people pleasing.
Recently, I asked a young man (he’s no more than 12 or 13yrs old) to wash my car. He washed it once before and did an amazing job, I mean he’s really good to be his age and if he keeps it up, I really see a bright future for him in business. However; when he came by the house, I asked him to come back the following Saturday and he could wash the car then; well as my luck would have it, I had the money but something more important took precedence over me getting my car washed that day. I didn’t know what to tell him because I knew he was coming, it was close to Christmas and he was looking forward to working to earn money, needless to say he didn’t come to the house until much later that day, I heard him knock on the door but I couldn’t open it to face him to tell him the truth. He came back a day later and knocked again and the following day after that and knocked again. With each knock, my heart pounded and I grew sorrowful and weary. I just couldn’t get up the nerve to face him to say “Look little guy, I can’t afford to pay you right now” simple words huh?, no – they’re really not. A couple of days later, I had a credit come into my account of a purchase that I had cancelled, it wasn’t much money and again, I had something else that I had to do with it, but the Lord began to deal with my heart and said “Follow peace with all men” even this young man.
While I didn’t have the money to really give him, I asked the lord to bring him by the house as I didn’t think he would come due to seeing my car sitting in the driveway but not receiving a response. He didn’t even have to wash the car, I just felt obligated to give him something for his time and that’s exactly what I did. The look on his face said everything and the yoke on my shoulder suddenly melted away. The lesson I learned in all of that is that things could have been a lot easier, had I just had the courage to tell him No or No, not right now.
Do you have trouble with telling people No? Why is that?
Listed below are just a few tips to consider when you have to say the treacherous “N.O.”
1. Who are you trying to Please?
The first thing you have to ask yourself is “Why am I saying Yes” If this is to please someone or if you feel that individual will like you if you less if you said No, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship with them. There are many people whom would love nothing more than for us to do what they want but you have to consider the person that means the most in this situation and that’s YOU & YOUR WANTS!
2. NO is Empowering!
You know what?, you have to protect yourself. Saying “Yes” all the time is not a good thing, don’t allow your mind or emotions to play tricks with you in thinking that saying No is a bad thing because it’s not. There’s only one you and if you don’t want something or are not feeling something or someone for that matter – it’s okay to say NO! This is your life, think of it as you being the president of your own world and you have to make the decision on what will pass and what won’t. What are you willing to allow and what are you willing to let go.
3. STAND UP!
Fear is the number one thing that keeps us from doing the things that we really want to do. I’ll tell you, I wasn’t always good about standing up for myself – I’d rather just sit and let the chips fall where they may, whether they were right or whether they were wrong because for so long I allowed myself to have a silent voice. If you don’t stand up for yourself, then who will. We live in a world where partially everyone is out to get what is rightfully theirs, so what’s stopping you from getting what’s yours including your voice back, it’s just waiting on you to open up and take charge.
This year, go after what you want for your life. It’s time out for allowing people to step all over you, It’s time to speak up and take control of your destiny. The word NO holds so much power in it and you have a right to use it, who cares if someone gets mad and who cares if they talk about you. You only get one shot to make a difference and that little bit of light at the end of the tunnel, could be held in two little words…..NO!
Now go get your NO, Sexy Back!
Thank you Martha Brown for this thought!
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager
Do you want to take your lunch to work more this year, than last year? Well, make sure you come back next week, I’ll be giving you some grocery shopping tips on how to meal prep for cheap and provide a delicious meal prep breakfast recipe from a certified trainer.