photo above courtesy of bing
What is friendship to you? I mean, No – like really….what is it? Do you know who your true friends are annnndddddddd…are the people you call friends now, do you know their true purpose for being in your life?
I have to say, I was shocked; stunned and a bit perplexed one day when I was thinking of someone, and when I mean someone – I mean someone that I considered a friend…all of a sudden, it was like someone tapped me on the shoulders and said “But why are they your friend?” and if I can be honest and very transparent right now, I had no idea! I mean it’s not like we hung out or even talked on the phone, maybe a text here or there but I soon realized that maybe they didn’t consider me a friend like I was considering them a friend.
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I’ve always been the type of person that instantly deemed everyone as my friend, from a person showing the smallest gesture of kindness, to the person whom maybe took out time to do something nice for me or the person who decided to ask me to lunch or even hang out with them for the day. I immediately created this “Roshonda’s Friend Wand” and magically transformed them from being ordinary to being my friend – no question about it, that’s who they were going to be to me and I to them, or so I thought…..
What dawned on me, was….
Sometimes people are put in our lives for different reasons, case in point – when my mom passed away in 2016. I had people all around me that offered their sympathy, kindness and generosity during that emotional time, in which made me feel as though we were good friends and I graciously added them to my circle – but just because they were kind, doesn’t mean that they were meant to be my friend; God could have just placed them there to be in my corner during a very difficult time in my life, which was meant to be for a season – not an eternity or an happily ever after. .
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve let in my life, to think their my friend only to be heartbroken when things don’t work out all because I was trying to hold on to someone whom was a straight up distraction or whose season in my life was probably meant to be no more than for a month or a second. Another case in point: A long time ago God told me that every guy that came into my life was not meant for me to date, he only allowed them to cross my path for a particular reason. I remember one guy I met, gave me some superior hair tips (no he wasn’t gay, I don’t think..lol) however; I had been asking God about my hair and to lead me to products that at the time, I felt would help, I had been having some issues with thinning edges and the info he gave me was LIFE! and in return, God allowed me to speak some encouraging words to him, words in which he needed in order to get to his next destination, in which was not to walk down the aisle with me, as I had so purposed in my head.
So, you see? God only had him to cross my path for that particular reason, he had sisters whom went through the same thing and therefore his attention to their situation, allowed him to give me some valuable information that I truly needed, now if I had kept him around due to a simple tip, I would have been keeping someone around that was suppose to just drop a tip and go…lol…The thing is; everyone, whether man or woman crosses our paths for different reasons and during particular seasons, it’s up to us to find out the reason for their visit, get what they have for you and move on. (depending on their true purpose)
Now don’t get me wrong, their are some people that come in our lives and they are meant to “sit for a spell” if you get my drift, who knows – they may even be with you for the long haul (until death do you part)….you never know.
However; don’t be afraid to ask God about your circle in which can be a double-edged sword because in reality we all want friends, we all want people we can hang out with, we all want people to love us and we all want to have this girl or this guy group but in the end who are they? Are these people adding value to your life….or are they draining you dry of your emotions, time, love and space. Remember, you invited them and as long as that door is opened; you’ll keep inviting people whom really have no purpose for your life – AT ALL! and it’s not that these individuals are bad it’s just that their job fulfillment in your life has expired. (Sort of like keeping old food in the fridge after the due date, if it consistently stays in there and is not removed; it’s going to cause the fridge to stink and soon it’s pollution, will cause the other food to expire quicker than it would have or add a terrible smell to it; this is what happens when you keep “seasonal people only” in your life for too long)
My Two Pennies on the matter?: Ask God about people and their dealings in your life, why are they there and what is their purpose, you’ll be surprised that the people who’s in your life was probably only supposed to be there for a short period of time and If not inquired about, these individuals could halt us from moving forward into the destiny that God has pre-planned for our future. No worries, you’ll come across others and this time one may come across that’s meant to stay forever.
De-cluttering is not just for houses or closets but for Individuals TOO!
Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager