Author: Roshonda B

As we were walking down the long sidewalk about to enter our apartment building, my mom suddenly grabbed me and my sister’s hand and hurriedly pushed us along as she ran into the house; catching our breath from the very abrupt move of wind we felt as mama ran toward the apartment we stood in bewilderment wondering what was wrong with mama. As we sat on the couch we watched as mama swung open refrigerator doors, grabbing out what she could and opening cabinets and filling bags and sacks with our groceries, I began to wonder why mama was giving our food away, when we didn’t have much ourselves.

As she completed her rounds, she asked that we stay put on the couch and rushed out the door – Me of course wanting to know what the fuss and rush was all about; I went to the front door and began to look out; I remember seeing mama walking briskly in which turned into a run across the street to this big church. I remember seeing her approach this woman as she had come out of the church and was making her way to the parking lot, she had this small box in her hand – When my mama approached her with her bags of our food; the woman looked surprised, the next thing I know the woman was hugging mama and crying, they chatted a while longer. I watched mama walk calmly back across the street and down the sidewalk, as she approached closer to the building; I hurried to the couch as if I had been sitting there all the while.

When mama came into the house, her eyes were red; so I knew she was crying too just as that lady was, yet she was smiling – she slowly made her way to the kitchen and began to clean up the mess that she had left behind, it wasn’t until years later that she finally told me what happened that day.

Over the years, I watched my mama play out many scenarios as the one above; in grocery stores she would walk up to random people and talk with them, leaving them with something from her purse or maybe even a pendant that she would be wearing, I profoundly remember her giving her sister a $3000.00 living room set that she had just recently purchased, she had it for one week and the next thing I know my aunt was pulling up to haul it away (now where were we going to sit). When I was 16 we joined this church in Arkansas; it didn’t take mama long to mingle with others…she was definitely a social butterfly – never met a stranger; after a year of being at the church the women voted for mama to be the Auxiliary Women’s President – as soon as they did that, mama took into action and began to plan their annual women’s day event; when the day rolled around for the event to happen, mama had donors; sponsors and so many prizes for everyone to enjoy – it was the best women’s day the church had ever had; even the children won prizes. The following year she took it upon her own to honor everyone’s birthday in the church – From January to December; man, woman, boy or girl – everyone’s birthday was recognized. The women received gifts, The men received a five dollar bill along with a birthday card and the children either received money, toys or candy; but she wanted everyone to be recognized, No matter what she gave away and to whom, it was always met with a smile, love and an Empty pocket…

You see my mama wasn’t rich, she didn’t have rich relatives nor friends – everything she did was from her very own pocket (as we grew older and began to hold down jobs, we would support her cause in helping and giving) her only income when we were younger was either food stamps, her job and later in life a disability check; on top of that she was raising three girls on her own; Giving was one of the most precious things that she felt she had and even though mama wasn’t rich in money, she always gave like she was….

Growing up all those years and seeing mama give from her heart, played an ethical part in me and my sister’s lives, the apple definitely didn’t fall far from the tree. I once had a friend to ask me, “Do you ever get back what you give out?”….. I thought about it for a minute and said “No” – she then went out that day and bought me something, which she didn’t have to do because I don’t necessarily look to get anything back; in which is the spirit we’re all supposed to possess when we give from the heart….

If you’re looking to get something back when you give something out; then it’s really not the true essence or spirit of giving, right?… every year around this time – everyone grabs the spirit of giving tightly, they reach out to help others in need which is what Christmas is supposed to be about “helping others” and not necessarily yourself. It’s more blessed to give than to receive, that’s what the bible tells us – but I’m sure that passage was not meant to be trapped in only one month of the year.

Sometimes giving is tough, do you still give to people even though you know they don’t like you? Would you withdraw your hand from helping them; especially if you knew they were truly in need? NO! One might say, YES! But the answer is NO; Did Jesus forsake dying on the cross because he had haters, disbelievers, fake followers and people whom literally became disgusted with him? He could have, but he didn’t…He fulfilled prophesy and gave his life anyway – So, regardless of the feelings and backlash of others. When God ask you to do something and if he resides in you – You have to do it despite or contrary to popular belief. (Because Greater is HE that is within YOU – Not THEM!).

                                                                                                                                                       Mama told me the story of why she helped that woman so many years ago, she stated that as we were coming down the sidewalk, she looked up and seen the woman going into the church, She stated that the spirit of the Lord told her to go into the house and give the woman food out of her refrigerator because the food that they were going to supply to her was not going to be enough food to sustain her until her food stamps came. Mama rushed into the house and began to open the refrigerator and cabinets to pull out anything that would help this woman and her family. She didn’t know how long the woman was going to be in the church but wanted to hurry so she wouldn’t miss her.

When she walked out of the apartment she seen the lady coming out of the church, so she hurried over to her after carefully crossing the street, as mama approached the woman – she said excuse me miss, I don’t know you and you don’t know me but God told me to give you some extra food for your family because the food that the church was going to give you was not going to be enough to sustain your household. The woman looked at mama in such shock and began to cry and break down, the woman said – she had just lost her job and had recently went to the food stamp office to apply for food stamps, they told her that it would be a week before they arrive, but her and her family needed food, so she went to the church for help.

Giving may not necessarily be a part of your ritual now, but in 2016 make it an effort to Give like U Rich! Because Love nor giving richly takes a Holiday, it only takes a HEART! & everyone has one of those to give.

Thanks Mom!

For the last couple of weeks, my faith has been truly tested; the acronym above was a true testament that I had to not only place on Facebook to encourage others, but it was also what I needed to do; when I felt like I did not have anything else to do, which was to STAND IN FAITH!

Don’t get me wrong, it’s so easy to motivate, uplift and encourage others – It’s almost like second nature, something that I can easily do in my sleep and not miss a beat to the drum; but when I have to take a swallow of my own medicine and become my own self therapist…..I’m at a loss and don’t know what the next step should be, I literally become clueless…

Over the course of the weeks, I moved; had major car trouble; the IRS decided to freeze my account (will talk about soon); someone very dear to me almost died and was rushed to ICU and on top of all that – the house I just moved into has issues going on with it behind the scenes that I did not know about, so it’s very possible that I may be moving again within a year or sooner – Did I mention the IRS froze my account???….so I’m broke, need to get to work and my gas light is on; not to mention the car wouldn’t start…

Standing in Faith was the last thing on my mind – What I wanted to do was break down and cry, who do you turn too?…Yes, God is able but sometimes and if you’re willing to be real about it – You don’t want GOD when everything seems to be hitting the fan and it’s on its on its last spin and about to crash as well. Every post that’s put up on Facebook is coming from a real place of struggle, no gimmicks, no games, no pills to make you feel better and act like everything is okay; let’s all smell the flowers and keep moving……it takes everything I have to post, because there have been times when I didn’t want to, nobody’s listening or reading anyway; my mind says but my heart says PRESS ON, sometimes the greatest testaments in our life are from our own pain and experiences.

But I had to tell myself – how can you tell someone else what to do if you’re not doing it; Kind of like that old saying our parents used to tell us growing up “Do I say and Not as I Do” – But in the Kingdom of God, we are the first testers the experimenters of struggle and pain; we have to go through it because if we don’t we cannot be a help to someone else whom may be going through the same thing, so we must hold on, stay strong and pass the test.

I had to hold on, I talked with God and laid everything out before him; “All this belongs to you” I said & pushed through; not to say that I still didn’t think about it because I did, but I know my God is able – he’s not the type of man that kicks you when you’re down or tell you “I told you so” or offer a helping hand when your life is good only to draw it back when you really need him. When he says in his word that he will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5), he means just that; he’s always there for you no matter what Good or Bad, he’s got your back.

I went to lunch with a co-worker the other day whom happens to be a good friend; as we were sitting at the table we were talking about life and its ups and downs, stressors, family, kids and so forth; I began to tell her that I know what she was talking about with stressors, she looked at me and said well; what did you do when you found yourself in a bad place? I didn’t get a call about lunch or anything…(which is normally what we do when we want to get out of the office and vent, we eat lunch) I told her you know what?, I just talked to God – because a lot of times when we’re going through a tough time, the first thing we do is run to someone else to vent and let out all of our frustrations, we seek them for advice, comfort and solace and when we’ve gotten a little of that to give us a boost – Then we tend to go to GOD because we know that he’s the only one that can truly fix it.

I used to be the first person to run to anyone whom would listen or talk to a best friend about my issues but I’ve learned that while that’s okay, going to God first is the best solution. I don’t have to worry about being judged, I don’t have to worry about being scrutinized or looked at differently because I made poor choices, I don’t even have to worry about him discussing the matter with anyone else, it’s just me and him. So I said all of that to say no matter what LIFE may bring your way – some of us have more issues than others, no issue is greater or lesser in God’s eyes – He’s ready to listen and help you through what you feel like is the end of your world.

Stand in Faith, even if you’re being hit by your Hardest trial – I can tell you I did and everything that I mentioned up top as of today has all been worked out; the enemy desires for you to give up because he’s already told God that you would. But isn’t it a Wonderful thing to know that God didn’t tell the enemy he’s RIGHT, he told him he’s WRONG! Because greater is he that’s within you, than he that’s within the world.

When everything else is FALLING, STAND! & watch everything that FELL rise up again in FAITH…

Last week was moving week for me, something that I knew was coming or I guess I should say that I was expecting for the last almost year and a half, I was looking for somewhere to lay roots again as the job that I am now working was becoming a hassle having to drive back and forwards 50 miles a day (round-trip) so I was wanting to move somewhere a little closer that will save me gas, less crazy traffic and enough time in getting to work.

So after a year and change of searching, God blessed and I finally found something that I feel I can call home for at least another 4 years (maybe) we’ll see =). If you don’t know already, moving is a huge job that no one wants to ever endure – you never know how much stuff you have until you “really” start cleaning out those neglected closets and drawers; you would never know so much stuff was lodged in those crevices by just coming into the house; I was even surprised by all the stuff that had accumulated over a three year period of time; I took so much stuff to the dumpster until I literally thought I was throwing my whole house away…It was a pain..

While getting rid of all that stuff was unbearable – getting people to help you move; posed to be an even bigger issue; The gentleman that came to help (came with a crew) but was rushing because he was trying to get back to a funeral at 2pm (mind you he showed up after 11am) and I had too much stuff to be getting rushed around, so they took a load to the other house (which is 17 miles away) – he went to the funeral, afterwards he came back and loaded another load and was done for the night. Well, I still had like three more loads that needed to be transported to the house and no one to help; not including taking more things to the dump…ugh!

Sunday when I arrived at the house and seen all the stuff that was still left to carry and/or dump – plus I had to get the house cleaned and spotless before I called the landlord to come and view the place; I began to look around at everything and became very overwhelmed, I stood in my daughters room and looked at the closet full of clothes that I still had to go through as well as in my son’s room, I looked at all the papers on the floor, I looked at the bags on top of bags of stuff that needed to be dumped and/or taken to the other house – the stove, refrigerator and bathrooms needed cleaning – the floors needed mopping and vacuumed and there was no “help” in sight – my body was aching from moving the night before, so I could hardly move or bend. My heart was racing as fast as a running horse as anxiety quickly set in heavily; I remember backing up onto my daughter’s closet and every pressure point that was in me – I let out, I cried and cried and cried……I was having a serious anxiety attack.

The only thing I could do was cry and ask God for help “I can’t do this on my own God” I began to tell him and I cried some more – I needed him like I never needed him before, I needed him NOW! Because if he didn’t come to my defense – I would have lost it, looking around at everything that needed to be done and only two hands and two feet to do it all. I felt so pressured to the point that I couldn’t breathe; it was like someone was choking me and wouldn’t let me go.

This reminds me of the story of Peter when he ventured out to walk on the water with Jesus, when he saw Jesus walking out on the water – he asked that if it was truly him to beckon him to come out with him, Jesus gave Peter the ability to walk on the water and as long as he was focusing on Jesus, he was walking perfectly fine – but as soon as his focus shifted because of the winds, he began to sink and asked the Lord to help him – Jesus then proceeded to ask and question him “Oh ye of little faith, Why did you doubt?” (Matt 14:26-31)

After I cried and gave everything over to the Lord and began to tell him all my troubles and what I was facing – (not that he didn’t know) – but sometimes God just wants us to come to him and talk with him, It’s like our parents growing up; a lot of times they knew we needed help, but instead of coming to us first, they wanted us to come to them and talk with them about it – (it’s something about that personal interaction). I talked with God, just me and him and I laid it all out and what a difference that moment made, I promise you – when I say I got new strength? I got new strength after that conversation, I went through that house so fast until even today when I look back on how that house looked and how God (with his awe-some self) gave me the ability to get it all done…the only thing I can say is But God! –.

If I had have kept my focus on the obstacles around me and became overwhelmed with the things that “I” had to do (noticed I said I) then I would have actually suffered that anxiety attack and probably would have ended up the hospital (I mean it was just that serious). But when you’re pressured and put that focus on what’s above then you will succeed at any task around you because when God breathes wind into your body, you better believe it will carry you through any task and/or difficulty imaginable.

As long as we keep our focus on God – we are destined to succeed but as soon as that focus becomes attached to its failing surroundings then that’s when we begin to sink and ultimately succumb to its chaos. While I might not have had the help I was looking for to be there for me, I’m glad that God had me in that situation; so that I can call on him and not them.

So the next time you’re pressured by an obstacle, just take a deep breath and Focus on HIGH & leave everything else below, God promises to never leave nor forsake us and that’s a promise you surely can take to the bank….

Sometimes God places you alone in a trial, So your ending Testimony can be spirit filled & not people filled – R. Blackmon

No, you’re not seeing things – I didn’t make a mistake and hit the wrong keys on the keyboard, the title above is what was told to my son just a day ago, It hurt him so bad he broke down and cried – I had never seen my son in the way I seen him the other night, the pain that shot across his face is something that I will never forget and the way he cried – Is something that my heart will never forget either.

My son is a cool kid, very talented, smart and full of happiness – he loves the arts, drama, dancing, plays and he’s a master builder – he has a mind like no other, sometimes I wonder did I really birth him? He has his bad days too, where I have to tell him to do things over and over and over and over again, but what parent doesn’t. A child at my son’s school called him the title above all because he was twirling in the line, (Why were you twirling in the line, was my first response – because as smart as he is he’s known for getting misconduct letters sent home as well) but when he told me what the little boy said to him – MY HEART BROKE INTO MANY TINY PIECES.

What child says that to another child – How do you even know what that word means? It just goes to show that social media and television has taken over our children’s “free time” – because every show that you watch, even down to the cartoons are displaying these actions and carrying out those scenes right before our children’s eyes, It used to be back in the day when something came on the TV that was inappropriate for us kids to watch, our parents would make us turn our heads until the scene was over – even if the couple was kissing – I guess this was there way of making sure that our minds stayed as “pure” and “free” as possible of anything that would spark questions and/or steer us off the path that they had worked so hard to keep us on.

Now-a-days children might as well not watch TV at all – because there is more than just kissing going on, there are so many other things that are either unexplained, inappropriate or just down right not right at all. Times have definitely changed….

As a Christian mom, because my son was hurt – I wanted to put down Christendom and put on my boxing gloves, I seen myself going to the school and boxing every child that got in my way until I found the one that said those mean and cruel things to my son; oh I could see myself having a real showdown with him but because

“Greater is he that’s within me, than he that’s within the world” 1 John 4:4 – after I calmed my insides down (because I did not allow my son to see me break down in front of him, I did that much later – not a pretty sight). I actually see myself hugging the young man and becoming an advocate for other children whom may be experiencing the same thing.

When we send our kids to school, we don’t know the horror or the loneliness they feel due to the fact that they’re different, I now see why so many kids fight to fit in with the “IN CROWD” because they are afraid to be themselves due to the scrutiny that they may receive from fellow students, friends and classmates. What I did tell my son was that it didn’t matter what that young man said about him or even what he thought about him, what matters most is how God see you and how you view yourself.

It’s not easy trying to replace a positive with every negative thing that comes your way (In which is what I told my son to do) but I promise and I’m speaking from experience if you do it long enough it truly does work, I told my son that I can’t explain to him why kids are mean or why they say things to inflict pain and or hurt others, but I told him to keep his head up – continue being the individual that he is and don’t ever, I mean ever let anyone’s negativity trip him up from being the Awe-Some individual that he is.

When our children are hurt, we hurt & when they cry – we cry because they are of our flesh and bones, they are our little replicas of what we expect and wish the world would be like. They are our inspirations for getting up out of the bed every morning by the grace of God, just to provide for them and make sure that they have their needs (clothes, shoes, school supplies and etc.) and their wants (which are things that we try to get them that we feel we were neglected from having as a child) We want to give them the better part of life in general and if we really could do it – They would never suffer, they would never experience disappointment, they would never experience hurt and anxiety…..

They would never experience PAIN.

But in this world as sad as it may be, they will experience all of that. As a parent we have to show them how to fight back with positivity, through it all we have to show them “HOW TO LOVE BACK” on the individuals that hurt them, because if we really want to see true change – It starts with what we are feeding their spirits and what they in turn will turn around and feed to someone else…

My son came home the following day again with his head held high, laughing and dancing around as usual and getting ready for his first play (in which he has a speaking part) & I will be there to cheer him on now and will continue to be that cheerleader for him throughout whatever path he chooses in life; through the good and the bad.