Last week was moving week for me, something that I knew was coming or I guess I should say that I was expecting for the last almost year and a half, I was looking for somewhere to lay roots again as the job that I am now working was becoming a hassle having to drive back and forwards 50 miles a day (round-trip) so I was wanting to move somewhere a little closer that will save me gas, less crazy traffic and enough time in getting to work.
So after a year and change of searching, God blessed and I finally found something that I feel I can call home for at least another 4 years (maybe) we’ll see =). If you don’t know already, moving is a huge job that no one wants to ever endure – you never know how much stuff you have until you “really” start cleaning out those neglected closets and drawers; you would never know so much stuff was lodged in those crevices by just coming into the house; I was even surprised by all the stuff that had accumulated over a three year period of time; I took so much stuff to the dumpster until I literally thought I was throwing my whole house away…It was a pain..
While getting rid of all that stuff was unbearable – getting people to help you move; posed to be an even bigger issue; The gentleman that came to help (came with a crew) but was rushing because he was trying to get back to a funeral at 2pm (mind you he showed up after 11am) and I had too much stuff to be getting rushed around, so they took a load to the other house (which is 17 miles away) – he went to the funeral, afterwards he came back and loaded another load and was done for the night. Well, I still had like three more loads that needed to be transported to the house and no one to help; not including taking more things to the dump…ugh!
Sunday when I arrived at the house and seen all the stuff that was still left to carry and/or dump – plus I had to get the house cleaned and spotless before I called the landlord to come and view the place; I began to look around at everything and became very overwhelmed, I stood in my daughters room and looked at the closet full of clothes that I still had to go through as well as in my son’s room, I looked at all the papers on the floor, I looked at the bags on top of bags of stuff that needed to be dumped and/or taken to the other house – the stove, refrigerator and bathrooms needed cleaning – the floors needed mopping and vacuumed and there was no “help” in sight – my body was aching from moving the night before, so I could hardly move or bend. My heart was racing as fast as a running horse as anxiety quickly set in heavily; I remember backing up onto my daughter’s closet and every pressure point that was in me – I let out, I cried and cried and cried……I was having a serious anxiety attack.
The only thing I could do was cry and ask God for help “I can’t do this on my own God” I began to tell him and I cried some more – I needed him like I never needed him before, I needed him NOW! Because if he didn’t come to my defense – I would have lost it, looking around at everything that needed to be done and only two hands and two feet to do it all. I felt so pressured to the point that I couldn’t breathe; it was like someone was choking me and wouldn’t let me go.
This reminds me of the story of Peter when he ventured out to walk on the water with Jesus, when he saw Jesus walking out on the water – he asked that if it was truly him to beckon him to come out with him, Jesus gave Peter the ability to walk on the water and as long as he was focusing on Jesus, he was walking perfectly fine – but as soon as his focus shifted because of the winds, he began to sink and asked the Lord to help him – Jesus then proceeded to ask and question him “Oh ye of little faith, Why did you doubt?” (Matt 14:26-31)
After I cried and gave everything over to the Lord and began to tell him all my troubles and what I was facing – (not that he didn’t know) – but sometimes God just wants us to come to him and talk with him, It’s like our parents growing up; a lot of times they knew we needed help, but instead of coming to us first, they wanted us to come to them and talk with them about it – (it’s something about that personal interaction). I talked with God, just me and him and I laid it all out and what a difference that moment made, I promise you – when I say I got new strength? I got new strength after that conversation, I went through that house so fast until even today when I look back on how that house looked and how God (with his awe-some self) gave me the ability to get it all done…the only thing I can say is But God! –.
If I had have kept my focus on the obstacles around me and became overwhelmed with the things that “I” had to do (noticed I said I) then I would have actually suffered that anxiety attack and probably would have ended up the hospital (I mean it was just that serious). But when you’re pressured and put that focus on what’s above then you will succeed at any task around you because when God breathes wind into your body, you better believe it will carry you through any task and/or difficulty imaginable.
As long as we keep our focus on God – we are destined to succeed but as soon as that focus becomes attached to its failing surroundings then that’s when we begin to sink and ultimately succumb to its chaos. While I might not have had the help I was looking for to be there for me, I’m glad that God had me in that situation; so that I can call on him and not them.
So the next time you’re pressured by an obstacle, just take a deep breath and Focus on HIGH & leave everything else below, God promises to never leave nor forsake us and that’s a promise you surely can take to the bank….
Sometimes God places you alone in a trial, So your ending Testimony can be spirit filled & not people filled – R. Blackmon