The photo above and all below are courtesy of pexels
They say as you get older you get wiser…
I have been on this earth for 41 years and I would like to think that I have.
I know I am not the same as I was 20 years ago and I know without a doubt I am not the same as I was 25 years ago.
Back then I was trying very, very hard to be accepted by the workforce. I have learning disabilities and struggled with being hired on a job, because of them.
Related Post: I AM NOT STUPID!
I had become so fed up over the years with being rejected and discriminated against because of my learning difficulties. Over time, it affected my attitude.
I heard the words “I was not worth” so many times until soon I just shut down and basically reverted back to having periods of acting immaturely.
It lasted for years.
People my age range were working a 9-5, living out on their own and dealing with your basic real world stuff. But, Me???
I was still living at home, not working. I was mostly in my room, only coming out for meals or for the television programs my family and I watched together.
The only time I would get out of the house was when I’d go volunteer at local senior citizen centers.
I would write often but mostly I just automatically deleted whatever I wrote because I didn’t think any of my work was worthy of being seen.
To say I was a mess would be an understatement…
My parents had to be wondering what they were doing wrong… but of course, it wasn’t them. I honestly couldn’t have asked for better parents.
In a nutshell, I basically just gave up.
I believed all the lies and myths that were said about me.
It wasn’t until I turned 34 that I realized my habitual routine had gotten pretty old!
My maternal grandmother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and died around Thanksgiving 2011.
Right after the funeral, I began doing some serious soul searching.
I spent the next couple of years reading numerous self-help books and returned to my faith.
One morning shortly after I had turned 40, I woke up as if I were a totally different person.
It’s hard to really explain but I felt as if all the emotions I had been dealing with were gone. My mind felt so clear and I felt so at peace!
It felt as if God healed me.
That’s the way I choose to look at it anyway.
I have come to realize in time that we need to take our lives one day at a time because that is all we are given.
We are not the ones in control.
We are not the ones to decide how our lives go.
Yes, it really did hurt to experience all that I had gone through but I have turned a completely new leaf.
I no longer live a “woe is me” type of life.
I feel like I am making up for lost time.
I have been self-employed in the dog care field for 12 years and I am happy to say that my writing career is finally taking off.
I know that what has been given me is a rarity and I don’t want to mess it up.
I want to just simply enjoy this second chance that I have been blessed with.
Amy is a resident of Florida. Since 2006, she has been self-employed in the dog care field. In May 2017, she self-published a memoir titled “I Am Not Stupid” which is available through Amazon. She writes for seethegoodinfo, an inspirational website and the Learning Disabilities Association’s newsletter LD Source.
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