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You know as I was walking to my car on Thursday, I was recalling an incident that happened between me and a young lady at work, to make a very long story short – I transitioned on my job and there’s a young lady (a temp) that’s working my old job now, but I go back and forward on certain days to help out and/or catch up work that I worked on prior to my departure.

The young lady has a very sarcastic tone to her, upon walking into the office (where I used to sit) she asked me “Do you think you could find somewhere else to sit?” I mean, I’m glad you’re coming back and whatever but I need this seat because now I am starting to work, there’s a lovely seat next door where you could sit.” First of all I wanted to say, there’s a lovely seat next door for you to sit at; you been at this job for 2 seconds and already making demands? Really??? Not Today….but it was merely the way she said it and the way she was looking while saying it….”Greater is he that’s within me I said to myself” – Because I was about to have a showdown on her with my mouth in full swing…….but I said…

Sure,….No problem.

All types of things were coming to my mind about that situation and I wanted to say more than what I said…..but I got to thinking as I was walking, what if God took out his frustrations on us because of something we did to him, What if he said “Well since you won’t worship me, I’m not going to wake you up this morning” There would be sooo many of us dead right now, or if he said “What?” you don’t want to obey me, okay then I’m going to cause you to have an accident. What type of God would he be if he did that to us…

Because that is what we do to people, we seek revenge – Instead of letting God fight the battle (and that’s hard to do sometimes) we fight our own battles – When someone wrongs us or our family we seek to get them back and make them hurt the way they made us hurt, we hurt people because – we hate people because – we talk and down people because – they did it to us first.

But what if God was like that towards us – Just doing us wrong because we hurt him and we do hurt him every day when we don’t forgive, when we don’t love, when we don’t help, when we cast stones on people, when we don’t try to live right, when we murder (with our tongues and our hands); but yet and despite of – He still loves us even when we don’t love him like we should. His love is unconditional so there is nothing that you can do that will make him stop loving you, he loves you in spite of how you or we ultimately treat him.

That same love is what I had to have for that young lady – a long time ago there was this sign that read WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) at the time; that phrase was so popular, everyone had some type of paraphernalia that related to the words WWJD, but did they know what they were really wearing? It was supposed to be a “conscious” sign for all of us to take account of our actions and our words towards one another by thinking What Would Jesus Do in this situation or What Would Jesus Do, if someone hated him, lied on him, misused him, abused him, chastised him, called him out of his name, talked about him and etc.

So What Would JESUS really Do? Easy, a simple 4 letter word called – L.O.V.E

I wasn’t nasty to that young lady in which to some people, I would have had every right to be and then some, but the bible tells us to “Follow peace with all men, holiness without, in which no man shall see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14

So I had to follow peace with her and I was, when she finally came to me to ask a question, I didn’t snarl up my nose and get all huff and puff with her, I answered her question and smiled – later that day through an email she thanked me for coming over between both workplaces and I thanked her as well for being so knowledgeable of the systems and working because that was a big help in me not being overloaded with two jobs.

In the end; we have to be careful how we entertain people, we will either draw them or leave an impression on them that will forever be a memory in their mind about who we are in which is not that important when it comes down to whom you say you’re representing because, The next person to give their life to Christ, just may be watching how he acts through you!

If he wouldn’t do it to us, then why should we do it to others…

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I’m sure I am not the only one whom has let the cares of life take you by storm and the next thing you know you’re swept away into it’s waves never to be found again….this is depending on how long you decide to let those cares be the driving force in your life. It’s so easy to get “caught up” in the hype of “I’m tired of being the first to always lend a helping hand, I’m tired of always being the one whom has to smile first or I’m tired of always being the one to say “I’m sorry first……For once, I would just like to be like everybody else, doing what I want to do and saying what I want to say, so why can’t I…

Some months ago, that was me – I had let the cares of the world, my job, home, church and everything else to take the ride with me to “I don’t care-ville”. I had allowed my environment to get the best of me, people were used to seeing me smile and have a “happy-go-lucky” attitude no matter what, so much so they even wondered if I ever got mad or upset about anything, so when I was beginning to show another side of me that they had never seen, I began to get questioned about my behavior….anybody that had something to say that was negative, I quickly joined forces with them and became negative too. If someone said they hated work and how disgusted they were to be there; I joined the bandwagon with them and began to hate my work as well, I suddenly began to disassociate myself with the positive-upbeat person that people had become to know, I was now joy riding on the wings of disgust, disappointment and depression for almost 3 weeks until…..

A co-worker of mine approached me, she said Roshonda? Where’s Mary Poppins! At first I was like who? I had heard of Mary Poppins but could not readily put who she was and my association with her in my mind. Just to give you a backstory – Mary Poppins was the nanny to a couple by the name of  Mr.. and Mrs.’s Banks; whom had four children, Jane and Michael; and baby twins John and Barbara. When the children’s nanny, Katie; storms out of their lives, Mary Poppins mysteriously arrived at their home, complete with her traveling carpetbag, blown in by a very strong wind. She accepts the job, and the children soon learn that their nanny, though she is stern, vain, and usually cross, has a magical touch that makes her wonderful.  In the end, Mary Poppins is satisfied with the work she has done with the Banks family, and the West Wind carries her away

So why was my co-worker calling me Mary Poppins? Her version was this – Roshonda, I am not used to seeing you this way, I’m used to you smiling all the time and when I come to your office, it smells so sweet: it literally brightens my day and for a moment, I know that all things are good in the world, I see you as Mary Poppins because you have a joy about you all the time, like her you have an umbrella of happiness spreading it around to everyone. I have to say this shocked me because I did not know that she thought or seen me that way, when she left I began to take inventory of my behavior and simply thought, Lord I let you down. The bible says in : Matthew 5:13-16 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

As a Christian, I was not representing God in the best light or  even in the best way, as Christians we have to realize that we are the only bible that a dying world will ever pick up to read and if our inward bible is not on point, then they will put us in a basket with everyone else, if you are proclaiming to be a Christina then you have to do your best no matter what to represent God in the best way….that’s through your giving, your smile, your warm and gentle demeanor, the way you talk, the way you respond, the way you act toward craziness or unpredictable circumstances, we are being looked at and tested in more ways than we realize….If we FAIL, then that means we have not only failed ourselves but we may have failed to lead people to God.

People today are depressed, hurt, suicidal and have the mind set that no one loves them, some even believe that there is no God, they don’t believe he exist. So, we as Christians are supposed to be the examples that he is ALIVE AND WELL! we show this by the way we live on a daily basis. I decided that day to change my mindset about my situation, yes, things get hard and Lord knows they get tough but I have a greater power at work living on the inside of me, in which I ask God daily if my attitude for  that day was pleasing in his sight, because its not about ME but about the soul that is watching me.

So where is my Mary Poppins? she’s right here ready, motivated and willing to serve –  Because greater is he that is within me than he that is within the world. 1 John 4:4

Is Mary Poppins active in your life?

This post is dedicated to all mothers – from the new, to the not so new, to the seasoned and mothers whom are soon to be…

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From the first time a child is placed in its mothers hands. We realize then that those 9 months prior to baby being inside the womb is now a reality in our very arms. We have feelings of awe; amazement and oh how beautiful he or she is along with the reality of “Now I’m a Mother”. But after the newness of everything begins to fade away —- We are faced with the question of what type of mother will I be. Not realizing that the real responsibility of having this child has deeply sunk in. Upon leaving the hospital you are given your child, the arm bracelet that was used to separate them from the other children in the nursery, a couple of diapers, a little milk, some information you need to take to the social security office, a final CONGRATULATIONS!!! And suddenly you’re whisked away in a wheel chair to the car that will escort you and your bundle of joy home.

There are no manuals of the how’s, what’s and what ifs and there’s no paper for a nanny service just in case you get too overwhelmed. You are now a Mother and you have a 5-10Ib responsibility in your possession – life has just begun. If you did not have a prayer life before – It also has just begun for you, the day your child was born. Because now you have more than yourself to pray for, a child is an ever constant circle in our prayer lives and it continues eternally. (It never ceases)

At this point you have no choice about whether or not you will be an influence, because now every action carried out by you will mirror that of your child. But the question is what type of influence “YOU” will choose to be.

About 3 months ago my daughter approached me, she has always told me she wanted to be an author and have wrote a couple of things that have been strolled in and out of notebooks, this time she wanted to try and write a chapter book, but she found herself stuck and couldn’t get past the first couple of pages – she needed a little motivation to keep going, I often tell her – don’t start and stop, keep going you have to be consistent with your writings, don’t give up – why are you always quitting..

So I decided to show her something that I really hadn’t shared with anyone else, I took down all of my writings from the inside of my closet, which has been kept in a torn pouch, inside that pouch are plays, short stories, poems and random thoughts that I have kept over the years, I write something and place it in the pouch on top of the closet shelf…this time since I have a daughter who’s aspiring to write, I figured I would let her read one of the stories that I had written. I felt so proud to see her face go from side to side as she was reading each line, my daughter reading something that I had written, her mother…..not from a book, but she’s actually reading my writing….I was thrilled!

Once she finished she said mama, that was awesome – you are a good writer and while that motivated her to write a couple of more pages to her novel….as I turned to pick up the story and put it back in my torn/worned out pouch – MY HEART SUDDENLY BROKE INTO A MILLION PIECES!

I began to think about the treacherous road I was taking my daughter down, is this the way I am showing her how to live out her dream? “Once you finish that story honey, we’re going to buy you a pouch to put it in and store it on the top shelf of your closet and one day you can show your daughter all of your hard work” – THAT HAS LITERALLY GONE TO WASTE. All my  dreams went to the top of the closet and stayed there and that’s exactly what I was telling my daughter to do with hers, don’t go further – for it stops at the top of the shelf in the closet.

It hit me like a ton of bricks, what was I doing? – This two pound baby whom was born a preemie, this baby whom has depended on me from birth until now, was given by God to a mom with no legacy plan. As I sat there and cried, realizing that I was not only holding my daughter from her dream but I had held myself from my own as well.

What type of Legacy will you leave your child MOM, what gifts/dreams are you storing in your closet, locked away for no one to see. We are our children’s first influence; No TV personality should hold the #1 spot in their lives as being their aspiration; YOU SHOULD! Your child, from the time you bring them home from the hospital is your first FAN, show them how to be successful – show them how to be loved – show them how to be humble – show them how to be the better side of YOU.

You are your child’s first influence, everything you do or teach will be a reflection of you and your child will be there to be the little fish to eat up everything you dish out to them…make sure you are dishing out the right information and please whatever you do – take your gifts down from the closet and share them with your child, because we shouldn’t very well live out our dreams through our children, but they should aspire to live out their dreams through us.

Make sure you give your child all you have; for they are only small once and will grow so fast right before your very eyes….the time you have with them are only for a little while, give them everything that’s inside of you including what’s in your very own closet…

What Legacy are you or will you live out in front of your child?

A couple of weeks ago I got a call that I thought was going to change my life, I had been praying; seeking God and felt like I had gotten my answer…….It was a position at a job that I had left, a position had come open and I was called out of the blue and asked could I apply. They told me that I was chosen because they appreciated my work, I was a team player and thought I would be the best candidate for this position, I was excited and giving God praise that they thought of me that way. I told them that I would apply…….

Let’s rewind a minute: Before I left that job I had worked there for almost 8yrs, I started in one position and ended up in another position that soon led me to work directly with the Director and her assistant – I had some UPS but many, many downs while there, talk about Thorns – I was the rose in the midst of every thorn possible. That job indeed kept me on my knees in prayer and fasting and when I left I promised I would never go back, so when they called me asking me to apply for a job in the financial office – I was a little hesitant because of the promise I made to myself, but I said Well, it’s not for the other department and the environment is a lot different than the department I left…………..so I applied.

They received my application and a week after I applied to the job, they were calling me for an interview – Ok, I said “Great” all the while I was still praying and asking God for guidance through this process, I asked the Lord to let his will be done and if this job was in his will for me then I know he will allow me to get it. Upon the day of going to the job, I was excited and really wanted to look my best – I felt comfortable in knowing that I had built good relationships with the individuals in that department and knew that if they called me for the job, that I indeed was going to get it……..I wanted a change and if that meant going backwards then I was willing to do it at all cost…

As I was driving to the interview, I felt a rush as if I was going in slow motion – the calm mood I had when I was dressing, drastically took a turn for the worse…..I literally forgot where the job was located and what direction I was supposed to go in, I ended up calling a girlfriend of mine to see if she could help me out. I was running late due to this and had to call just to tell them that I was going to be late, when I finally got to the town, my stomach felt weak – As I looked at the road ahead of me and how far things seemed to be moving away instead of close to me, I asked myself a question “Are you sure you want to do this?” I kept on going because I wanted a change – but the more I drove the sicker I became…….I got weary, discomforted and my stomach was turning in knots every second…….I began to look at the  fields and they looked so dry, The town looked barren and everything seemed to have a dark cloud over it …

I kept  going, but before I got to the job I felt the lord say “This is not it” – This is not my plan……..I heard him but I kept going forward, I completed the interview and gave my best effort and put my best foot forward. You see, I felt at that time; that, that was the place for me because I knew these individuals and why would God have them to call me if this was not in his will. But the enemy hears us as well and if we are not careful we will find ourselves going for the first small fish that comes out of the water, we grab it and make a quick run, with the thought that God gave it to us, But God is standing on the pier saying WAIT! There is a bigger fish coming but because we failed to wait, listen and stand still…….we take the first thing that comes to shore..

The bible tells us to stand still and see the salvation of the lord take place (Exodus 14:13) Just know that Gods answers are not always swift (quick), you have to wait and meditate on the still small voice on the inside of you – for it is there that you will hear his voice. A lot of times we will settle for less because we don’t want to wait for MORE…

When the job called me, I was hesitant about picking up the phone because I thought they were going to tell me I had the job,  But when I answered the phone it was the total opposite, they told me that they could not meet the money amount that I had requested (which wasn’t much) and that they would revisit my application but wanted to see whom else they could interview whom would be willing to start at level one. They  said that if they couldn’t find anyone then they would come back to me. I got off that phone and shouted for JOY!! because God had already told me that, that was not his plan so for me that was just confirmation of it……

I said all of that to say “If going backwards  no matter what you are going backwards too, makes you sick or if  it’s not feeling well in your spirit then that’s God telling you “To Stand Still & Wait”  Because that PERSON, PLACE  OR THING is not in his perfect will for you. Trusting God is not only waiting on him to answer but it’s trusting his timing in the process…If you hold on and hold out, I promise you he has something greater in store…….

I have been in many situations where a person’s outlook on me was different than the outlook I had for myself. Trying to prove to someone that you are a good person can be very tiring, you lose sleep, and you wonder constantly trying to come to grips as to why they feel that way about you, especially if they really don’t know you. You try to find ways to make amends with ONE person whom may have a misunderstanding about you – BUT what about the other 7 Billion people in the world whom are doomed to have the same misunderstanding about you – What are you going to do, Chase them all down……I think not.

In my life I have been misunderstood, judged wrongly, not liked too much, called stuck up (in which I have no idea as to how they could come up with that analogy), I have even been judged by others concerning the relationships I’ve chose to nurture, everybody has an opinion and while they smile in your face on one hand, you find out that they are saying other things about you on the hand. The thing is people will be people, everyone has a thought or an opinion as to how you should run your life, raise your kids, whom you should and shouldn’t date, where you should go to church, where you should work, what kind of car you should drive and even about your choice of residence……with so many opinions it’s easy for us to get sidetracked and on the race of “WHY I DID, WHY I SAID, WHY I MADE THAT CHOICE & WHY I’M JUST BEING ME” If we’re not careful and I have been here many times before, we lose sleep, we lose weight, we lose our sanity and even lose focus trying to please people and be whom their thought of us should be……

About three years ago I had an instance of this sort concerning my son, at the church I once attended we were getting ready for Christmas Cantata and the kids were going to do a song/skit for the program. While my son was standing with the kids in the choir another young man started kicking him, well he told the young boy to stop and to his surprise – he didn’t. My son told me about it and being the mother I am, I just told him to look over it and move over a little, maybe they were standing too close – Well when they went back up to continue to practice, the young man continued to kick my son, Once practice was over we went in the back for refreshments and my son ended up sitting by the young man and his sister, the young man became rude and began to act unseemingly, (inside story, my son told the young man that his sister was cute and that’s what made him act out even more) I finally told my son to stay away from the young man and to leave him alone, We already had the issue of him kicking him and I really didn’t want him to get involved with anything else concerning him, I honestly thought that by telling him that, it would resolve things, I didn’t want to discuss the matter with anyone because children are children and they do tend to act out when a parent is not around, but in the midst of me telling my son to leave the young man alone, a church member came into the dining room – catching the ending of that sentence, went and told another church member that I told my son to stay away from the gentlemen. Of course I was called to the carpet and was told through someone else that my behavior was out of order and that I should not be speaking that way to children, they stated that they were trying to draw people to the church and didn’t want to run people away. So according to them the language I used was uncalled for, I immediately was accused of not being “church-like” I was wrong and that is not how church people were supposed to carry on, WHAT??

They took the half-truth of someone else and ran with it, they didn’t know of the events that happened prior but at that time it became of no concern, I was being judged on what I said and the verdict already had me looking very GUILTY! My integrity was challenged, they weren’t thinking of all the other good things I had done, said or given; NO, right now I was rachid, thoughtless, careless and downright wrong. REALLY?? What I didn’t understand was, why was all this information being related to me by someone else, I immediately became sad and disappointed because all my life I had been judged in some type of form, way, shape or fashion, it’s amazing no one remembers the good somehow as the negative always has a domino effect of coming in first place in every circumstance.

I lost sleep over that incident, I immediately began to think of the many situations I could do to make it right, I didn’t mean what I said – IF only they had gotten the full story and maybe it was my fault as I should have told someone what was going on with the young man and my son prior to this fault, then maybe none of this wouldn’t have taken place – But I was just trying to be the PEACEMAKER in the situation by trying to figure out the right way of dealing with my son and this negative situation. Now I’m being viewed as a NON-CHRISTIAN! 

I said that to say many times our character is tested, our integrity is questioned and our motives will be judged but you can’t help, neither do you have control over what people may say, think or perceive about you, There’s no need in chasing down an untruth and forget the notion of trying to get people to see you in a different light – While people are people and they will talk, criticize, judge and perceive what they want about you. Just remember one thing:

THEY DID ALL THAT AND THEN SOME TO JESUS FIRST!!

There’s a song by Vickie Winans that states, No Cross; No Crown, the song goes on to say if you can’t stand to be talked about sometimes, if you can’t stand a little disappointment sometimes, if you can’t stand being talked about sometimes and if you think you should always be up and never down – No Cross, No Crown – Must Jesus bear the cross alone?

We all will be misjudged sometimes and our identity will be compromised but if Jesus could endure it then so can you, by acting out and chasing a misconception down to prove you are not like what’s being said or misconstrued about you is saying you are better than Christ or Well that was in Jesus’ Day – He has no clue about LIFE today…

Trust me my friend, the same messed up people that was back then, is still the same people today – the clothes and time century may have changed but God is still the same. The bible says that there’s nothing new under the sun – so everything that happened back then, is just a repeat of things happening now.

Keep being you, you can’t chase a lie – PLEASE DON’T TRY! That LIE will always run into the TRUTH. So keep your cool, keep your sanity and just know if they talked about Jesus, they will do the same to you – HE ENDURED and has now given you the POWER to ENDURE! Even more than he did.

Continue to let God work in your life and let people think what they want to think and perceive what they want to perceive because their thought of you (which is what it is) will outweigh the TRUTH you have about yourself any day. Don’t compromise your character instead STAND STILL and watch God turn that THOUGHT into the TRUTH.