Author: Roshonda B

Have you ever denied Christ? Peter one of Jesus’s disciples did, Jesus’s death was upon him and he told Peter before the cock crows, he would deny him that night three times – Peter was like, Oh no Lord; I would never deny you, but when the soldiers came to apprehend Jesus – a fight broke out and the disciples ran, including Peter – at this point the local villages were in an uproar about Jesus’s capture and were looking for “his disciples” when some people noticed Peter and began to question his identity and claim that he was one of the disciples, Peter whom hours before claimed to love Jesus with all his heart – denied him profusely, so much so that he began to curse and shout “I don’t know the man” when he heard the cock crow, his memory was jogged to the earlier conversation he had with Jesus and began to weep bitterly. The man he walked with, watched do many miracles, befriended and loved was now an unknown to him.

Judas Iscariot’s name also rings very loud in the bible for befriending Christ and later betraying him for 30 pieces of silver, in which he felt so bad about doing it that he ended his own life.

I have denied Christ on many occasions, and sad to say; most of them were in my Christian walk –

When I went around people, depending on their affiliation – It’s easy to become friends and get along with people of the same like mind and spirit – If they were Christian and talked about God freely, so was I but when I surrounded myself by people whom were not of the same like spirit and mind; I found myself conforming to their ways, now they were free to talk about whatever they wanted – but I felt like talking about Christ would pose an issue or an uncomfortable feeling to others, so I would sit and entertain with them.It was even the case with relationships, I felt as though

I couldn’t get a stable relationship if the guy knew and/or thought I was a “JESUS FREAK” so I found myself battling with being totally saved or half and half, but we all know that God doesn’t go for that – as he says in his word; I will not have you lukewarm, but either HOT or COLD (Rev 3:16) – So you’re either all the way in or all the way out…

If someone would have outwardly told me that by doing this, I was actually denying Christ – I would have denied it and made up some lame excuse as to the real reasoning of my actions, “I wasn’t denying Christ?” because in my mind denying Christ would actually mean me saying “I deny him” but we not only can deny him in words, but deeds as well. About 3 months ago, I was exchanging emails with an employee, she was providing some valuable information to me concerning the setting up of an account; I make it a habit of telling everyone I meet “I appreciate you” because I want them to know how much I value their service, expertise, help and any other task they seem kind in helping me with, So I began to tell them I appreciate them and Thanks for their help.

In return they emailed me back and began to tell me how sweet it was of me to tell them that and how they appreciate me for taking on extra duties and that they thought I was doing a good job. Well when someone says that, I know immediately that I am not my own and that it takes the help of God to lead, guide and direct me in my duties at work, so when I emailed her back I said “To God be the Glory” it’s a challenge but I know I’m here for Purpose – I went on to tell her that I hope she didn’t mind me saying that “the mentioning of God’s name” because I wanted to respect her values, but I didn’t want to not acknowledge mine. The message I got after that stunned me –

She went on to say how she didn’t mind the statement at all and that how we don’t give God the credit often enough, she stated that we need to stand up for ourselves as Christians and take a stand for God, she said that she had gotten to the point where she says “thank you Lord” and etc. “So far people have been receptive” she said and began to say that she thinks there are more Christians on campus than we realize and that folks just don’t say anything. Wow I thought, I didn’t know announcing Christ was something that anyone needed to think about or that it was something that everyone avoided like the plague. It’s amazing how other people can talk all day long about their own personal beliefs, likes, dislikes and find a great interest in their own personal world but “US” Christian’s compromise whom we are willing to share Christ with because it’s unpopular and/or we’re afraid of how we’re going to be viewed.

Is the Christ you serve, living under a Rock? – in which you bring out on special occasions or the result of someone else talking about him? True Christians are not afraid to announce Christ “no matter” where they are or “what clique” they are surrounded by. The bible says “But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven. (Matt 10:33)

Just think of it this way, the very people we hide Christ from are the very people that are longing to meet him – It may not look like it outwardly, but inwardly they are crying for help and you just may be the person to make the proper introduction, even if they are resistant – when we take on the “blood” stain banner of Christ, we take on everything that comes with it – just as we do in any relationship (If you take on a man or woman in marriage) you are taking on everything that is involved with them, some good, some bad – but it’s the choice you made.

That’s how it rolls with Christ, we take on his death, burial and resurrection – We take on his last name (ex. Joshua Christ) – so therefore we are responsible for letting our light shine, no matter where we are so that others may follow that light to Christ, we are responsible for uplifting his name – the drawing is then left up to him.

Jesus loves you, if he wouldn’t deny us or put us under a rock and take us out on special occasions or only when our name is mentioned – then why do him that way. Christ came so that he may be shared with ALL people and not just the FEW that know him too.

So, What’s your name…

When the road we take is longer than the road God planned..

Some months ago me and my son were riding in the car, while driving he began to ask me “Mama, are we going to Greenville?” I told him No, because we were going in the opposite direction – he then asked “Can we get to Greenville from here” – I told him we could, but then that means that we would have to make a couple of turns off the road we were on and get on another road. He said Ok, but I began to think (as always. Lol!) about the many directions that I have taken in my own life that have either lead me to the place that I needed to go or where I had to take several other turns to get to another destination because I was going the wrong way.

There have been many countless times in my life where the road God planned was not the road I initially had taken; when it came to money, when God was taking me down a road that would lead me to the knowledge of investing and saving – I took the “MY WAY” high road of spending until I had nothing left (because if I seen something I wanted, I bought it – Bill could be due, but if I saw it – it was in my closet, on my feet or in my ears…okay??) When it came to selecting an economical car on “God’s road”, that would be low in payments and that could have easily allowed me to save more money, I took my own road of I want a car that looks nice and that would make me look good, it didn’t matter about the sales price – at the dealership it’s easy to figure out what you would move around in order to obtain an expense and the sales people don’t care as they are just trying to make a sale and get commission; so they’re not interested in your bills, they are just concerned with the money that will be going in their pockets. The car “I” got on “MY WAY” ended up leaving me up late at night wondering how I was going to make the payments the next month and when it came to relationships (which were my pitfall) – Instead of seeking “Gods Way” about it, I ended up taking “MY WAY” – which started out good; but ended in disaster, the things I went through in those relationships on “MY WAY BLVD” would have to be one of the craziest rides that I ever allowed myself to go on….I will share those experiences one day…

But how many of us have taken MY WAY BLVD instead of GODS WAY – I’m sure a lot of us if we truly admit it. God’s way is not destined to be full of sunshine, flowers and good smelling perfumes – NO! But what it does is get you in line toward the goal and/or purpose that he has called you to do. It’s so easy to take our own way because we feel like we know what’s best but it all goes back to letting go of your WHEEL and picking up HIS WILL! For your life – You see when we take God’s path; there are no uncertainties there, you don’t have to worry about a missed direction, a wrong turn or a TOM TOM telling you where you should go, in which can still get you lost. The only sure way of UP! Is in Christ…

When you allow God to take your WHEEL and turn it into HIS WILL you will see a major difference in the road you are traveling on as God promises to never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). I have made many pit stops in my life due to the road that I followed, thinking that I knew what was best – it wasn’t that I didn’t seek God for direction, it was just that I felt like he was taking too long and while he was stagnated in giving me “a right now” answer, I immediately took MY WAY BLVD just to test the road with my own directions. I can tell you that my way lead to stress, anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies, greed, brokenness, jealousy, pride and so much more. I had tangled my own web and didn’t know how to get out of it, In which if I had just waited on GODS WAY – not to say that it would have been easy but his road would have brought me farther than where I feel like I am today. You see when we venture off into our own paths, we cause delays in our own processes – something that might have taken us two months to accomplish will now take 6 months to see any results – this is because when we took our own way, we caused our purpose, goals and/or destiny to come to a complete stop. I still struggle from time to time about “MY WAY” VS. “GODS WAY” but trust me, it’s a thought that leaves as easily as it comes, I have become determined not to let anything keep me from fulfilling the path and destiny that God has laid out for me; while MY WAY BLVD may seem like the right way to go – I know that GODS WAY is the best route to take without a delay to my journey.

Which road are you taking today?

Are you on GODS WAY or YOUR WAY BLVD…

When my daughter was an infant, I found myself going through a terrible separation and later divorce from my husband at the time, I had traveled to NC to be with my mom and dad; while here I found myself to be in many up and down moments, the enemy was fighting daily because my baby was a preemie and really needed to be around a doctors care, she had just been taken off a breathing machine like two weeks prior to my departure, I struggled with the fact of taking care of her away from a two parent household and finding a job to support us. The only thing I knew and was sure of what the fact that I had to get out of the situation that I was in and no matter the insecurities, I knew I had to indeed trust God to take care of the both of us in the process.

A month swiftly moved by and I had began to apply for services for my daughter and I, God blessed me to find her a doctor and come to find out, there was a developmental place right up the road from my parents house, they had not too long opened up and accepted my daughter into their program so she could finish developing – To God be the Glory for that….but I was being plagued by another situation – MY THINGS!! I had so many extremely nice things and worked really hard to have a nice house – if only I could’ve brought “ALL” my stuff with me…is what I constantly said to myself; because it’s hard starting over when you have accumulated so much material goods. I began to think about my things, day and night – I became frustrated and began to doubt God and question my mental health. How are we supposed to live now, here I was stuck at my parents house with a sick baby, no job and living off of her social security check monthly which was cut short from 588.00 a month to 383.00 a month – What seemed like a good escape from turmoil was beginning to feel like a ship sinking very fast – did I make the right decision?…..No matter how much the enemy came to me, I held up my head and travailed through…..But…..I still wanted MY THINGS!

If I could have had the whole house sent to me by FED-EX; I would have been excited!! A couple of months went by and  after trying to come to some type of reconciliation with my husband (that didn’t work) I asked could I come back and retrieve the rest of my things; So, I booked a flight with baby in tow and went back to where we were living, I was so excited to be traveling back; I took a very big suitcase with me (as a matter of fact, I took several) the first thing I was concerned about was getting all of my “nice” things and cramming them into these huge suitcases and bring them back with me. Once I arrived at the place of where he was residing, The BIG! Kool-Aid smile I had plastered on my face was immediately wiped off when I walked into the house and viewed my belongings. MY NICE THINGS, didn’t look like my things anymore, I went to touch a picture that I had paid good money for and the feeling that I got from that picture let me know that, I didn’t need to take it. I went to get jewelry, shoes and other things and received the same “cold and lifeless” feeling. What was happening?? I thought to myself – Finally God spoke to me and told me whatever was left there, leave it there and to not take anything, I became devastated, disappointed and angry – Did God really want me to leave everything behind????…

Thinking of this brings to mind the story of of Achan (Joshua 7:1-12, 19-26) When the children of Israel, led by Joshua, crossed over the Jordan River, there were thousands of them. They lived together as families, as we do, but each family lived in a tent instead of a house. All the families of one tribe camped together. When they marched, they rolled up their tents and carried them. When they stopped for the night they put up their tents. God had commanded them to destroy the entire city because it was so sinful. God had told Joshua, and Joshua had told the people just what they were to do. The Lord told Joshua that when the Israelite’s conquered Jericho they were to burn everything in the city that belonged to the people of Jericho except the silver, gold, brass, and iron. These they were to bring to the House of the Lord. Joshua had carefully instructed his soldiers, and every man knew that these were the orders. Achan was a soldier who disobeyed the orders and hid a beautiful garment, and some silver and gold in his tent. Achan felt sure no one else would find out about this.

Afterwards, when the Israelite’s went to war, every battle they had won previously, were lost battles in which they lost soldiers, Joshua didn’t understand why things were so bad for them because he had a close relationship with God and did as he was instructed, but there was sin in the camp; soon the Lord revealed that sin and exposed Achan, because of his sin and disobedience, he was not only destroyed but everything that belonged to him – his children, wife, oxen, belongings – everything was destroyed all because someone chose to not only go backwards but dismiss the voice of God.

So needless to say, I finally obeyed the voice of the Lord; it wasn’t easy because I still wanted to take just one pair of earrings and almost did; but when God says “Leave it alone” you better let it go….the only success that have been proved in going backwards is helping someone up that has fallen, but to go backwards because of “material goods” or even to go backwards to an individual; can be costly. We’re not moving forward in God’s plan for our life but instead moving back to all the unjustly, ungodly and sinful things that he blessed us to get out of in the first place – going backwards only brings your full destiny to a complete stop…while venturing out into the unknown of the how’s, why’s, I don’t knows and the when’s of things is very uncomfortable, (almost like going through a big dark house without any lights) – It’s worth the journey to just trust God and believe that everything you had before, he guarantees you to have even greater things going forward; which can all be yours only if you follow the path of FAITH & TRUST.

I can honestly tell you that God did bless me with way more and better things than I had before – so much so until I actually had to give things away. Before you take the detour and travel backwards to get what you left behind, think of Achan and his family and let that be the driving force in helping you to move forward – because the backwards game not only affects you, but it has a way of affecting everything around you. The word FORWARD was not put in the dictionary for nothing – but It was meant to be put there and read as a stepping stone to your DESTINY!

IN ORDER FOR GOD TO MOVE YOU FORWARD…YOU CAN’T BE STUCK ON BACKWARD..

Roshonda N. Blackmon

Some months ago I found myself distraught over a shooting that happened in a nearby city, When I heard about it, I was saddened as I always am when I hear of someone taking the life of someone else, but this time was different, it wasn’t someone that I knew but rather someone that I didn’t know, and now someone that I would not ever get a chance to meet. The individual was so young and full of life, they served God at least from what I could see when I read about them, they were positive, loved life, loved family and had quite a few things going on for themselves and they were only 35, the age I am now. I have to admit and I never like to do it, but I found myself questioning God – God why? Why so young, why so presumably innocent, Why the family man, Why the church man whom was trying to do everything to live right, I was hurt and within that hurting place, I began to think of ways that maybe I could have done God’s work better by being in place to prevent the incident from happening, without hurt nor harm to them or anyone around them. I became a little flustered with God as I was trying to tell him what he should have done and how he should have done it….Wrong, I know…

But for a brief moment I lost focus, I lost focus on whom the creator was, I lost focus on the fact that he does everything for a reason, I lost focus on whom the Alpha and Omega was, I lost focus on the man that causes the sun the set and the moon to rise, I lost focus on the one whom tells old death to behave all during the night while I sleep and slumber in my bed, I lost focus on the one whom with one word causes my spirit to awaken and my breathing comes back to normal, I lost focus on whom I was and whom I was trying to challenge and go against, a man that with one word could end my life immediately, I TOTALLY LOST FOCUS!

The world is a nasty place and while we yet may not understand why things happen or why in our terminology why things happen to “good people”, we still have to believe and trust that God see’s all, knows all and has everything in control, the ways of this world with its negative, explosive bombs has a way of tugging at the minds, the hearts and the faith of even the strongest person in the Lord, but the bible clearly states: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  (Phil 4:8)

You See? God knew that we would be faced with such negativity and didn’t want us to fret nor worry, but wants us to think on positive things, it’s not that God wants us to be naive to circumstances but he knows that such unfocused thinking does not yield good results for our “fighting” spirits, so instead of keeping our focus on him we would lose it to things that are beyond our control; You’ve heard the saying “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop”, so once we lose focus, it jeopardizes our FAITH in God leaving room for the enemy to come and play and lead us off into another dimension where God does not reside, and when he does that; it’s hard and sometimes impossible to not only regain your focus but get back on track, So be careful about where you allow your focus to go and how long you allow it to stay there, yes, we may and do get sidetracked by devastating news and such things but there’s a time and place for everything and while we may not always understand the ways of the world or the things that go on within it, just remember that God loves and cares for you so much; He needs you to SURVIVE and by surviving that means keeping your focus on him.

In a conversation on last week, I found out that someone I truly trusted and admired had been talking about me – I considered this person to be a special individual in my life and have always wished them the best, no matter how much they seemed to go up and down life’s roller-coaster of uncertainty. I treated them the same every time I came into their presence; so to hear that they had been speaking negatively of me was very disheartening. The things they said of me were that:

• I talked too much (I tell too much of my business, to everyone around that would listen)
• I gave out my telephone number to numerous gentlemen

Now, I was thinking to myself – WHAT??!?? I was a little shocked but instead of getting upset and dismissing what was said as a “I have no idea what they are talking about” I owned up to it; You see they were right – I did talk extremely too much to too many people, I shared my ups and downs – hopes and dreams with anyone that would listen, I even had a bad case of sharing my relationship information with people, if the relationship was good – I talked about it, if it was bad I talked about that too (probably even the more) I talked to family, I talked to so-called friends, I talked to church members. Many years ago, I had entrusted in a former pastor and talked of many things and instances in my life and current situations at the time that I felt deemed he should know about me – as a teenager I went through many things, so it wasn’t uncommon to share things with a leader you felt like you could trust, not knowing that I was being used as bait to talk about my family and other situations as my family was very private; I later found out that he stated “If you want to know anything, just pick at Roshonda – if you pick long enough, she will tell you what you what you want to hear” in that instance I remember feeling miserable, because this was a person that I felt like I trusted – so I was always in a place of “telling my business” and as you can see, it was noticeable to others as well.

As far as the giving out my number is concerned, I not only talked too much but I also always entertained the wrong company due to me “wanting to find love” because I was so distanced from whom I really was, I always found solace in someone’s arms, I never liked being alone – so instead of working on me, I found my way into the arms of another whom I thought would take care of me, love me, treat me right and be by my side forever more; in which what I always got in the end was a broken heart. Not to justify the situations of my actions, but when people talk about you; they talk from a place of the “unknown” they are outsiders looking inside, not knowing the full truth of the situation on the inside of that habitation. So after listening to what I was told and sitting for a while in thought, I realized that by admitting what was supposed to put me in denial; felt like a burden that had lifted up off of me and my mind changed not about the individual that were saying these things about me, because I still love them in spite of, but about the perspectives now I had on myself.

When people reveal things about you, it’s never easy to become accepting of those things because in our “own” natural eye we feel as though we are alright, we’re somewhat merely perfect – with no flaws. So it’s easy to get “bent-out-of shape” when someone says something that you undeniably think you’re not…But if you take a real close look at what’s being said and if what’s being said is coming to you by more than one person then maybe you do have an issue that needs to be corrected; the things being said about you might have come out totally wrong and meant to hurt you; can easily be turned around into a positive and be meant to help you. We all have issues, hurts, habits and hang-ups on the inside of us that we have not even dealt with yet. Sometimes we know what those issues are but instead of dealing with it and coming to terms with our problem…..We chose to be in Denial because of our PRIDE.

The bible says “Who can understand his errors? Cleanse thou me from secret faults.” Psalms 19:12 – this verse goes to show that we all have secret faults on the inside of us, that a lot of times we may not even know is residing there, those faults usually don’t come to surface until we’re faced with a problem and/or issue which tends to bring out a side of us that we had no idea was there in the first place. So, when you hear of someone talking about you or saying something that seems to be untrue – presumably (STOP) and dissect what is being said, Now if it’s indeed an untruth, then you should pray for the individual and move forward, Let God deal with them because we can’t chase down every lie that’s told on us, if we attempted to do this; we would be tired, disgusted, frustrated, mentally incapacitated and spiritually unstable; besides, they lied on Jesus Christ so are you any better than he?..

Now on the other hand if the information that’s being said about you is true, as hurtful as it might seem to be and if you’re like me (have a 24hr pity party) cry, shout, scream do whatever it takes to get over that hump, once those 24 hours are over get up, dust yourself off and CHANGE! A lot of times the things people say about us, if we admit it are TRUE, we know it’s true but we have been hiding it, that’s why we get angry when people bring things out about us to the LIGHT because now that “denial” that we’re hiding in darkness has now been uprooted and brought to the surface. The bible says in Proverbs 28:13 (NIV) – Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

Now, the pain of what was said did hurt me immensely; mainly because of whom it was coming from, but it taught me a lesson, after my 24 hour pity party of disgrace; I came to terms that I do talk too much about my business and have been asking the Lord to help me to keep my mouth closed on things that will not uplift my situation or my relationship with others, but speak light to situations even if they are not great or where I would like them to be currently. Because negativity does draw negativity and listening ears do have running mouths, so we have to be careful about the things we say and whom we allow ourselves to vent too because a Dog that brings a bone, has a way of carrying one back with him…

So now who’s in DENIAL?? YES, IT WAS ME!