Are you on the “A” List?

A List

In the world today, we have what we call “A” Lister’s; these people in the world’s terms are known to generally be above society due to their lucrative incomes, social statuses, how many cars they may or may not drive, how many homes they may or may not stay in and how much money they spend on elaborate shoes, suits, jewelry, alcohol and so forth..

Then you have the B Lister’s whom may not have as much money as the “A” Lister’s; but they are not bad off and still recognizable to society. After wards you have the C & D Lister’s whom are known but their status in life is not worth mentioning or recognizing and depending which you are – Your bank account is nowhere close in the rankings of even getting you into the lavish hot spots that the higher elites have access to…

Those are the lists for the celebrities, in reality we as individuals place each other on our own list of must haves, must do, must go and must see of life. We tend to place each other higher than the other solely based on if we feel you have money, what prestigious church you attend, what type of house you live in, what kind of car you drive even to the clothes you may wear and we take those things and place them on our own A, B, C & D list.

ListOh but there’s going to come a day when we won’t be judged by the amount of money in the bank, But rather, what you chose to do with the wealth God placed in your possession, nor will we be judged by how many people we may know But rather, how many people did you help. We won’t be judged by the car we all currently drive, But rather, how many people you picked up, how many nursing homes – hospitals and shelters you visited with it. We won’t be judged by the lavish homes that some of us may or may not have – But rather, how many people did you open up your door too to give them a place to sleep, God will not be concerned about how many clothes you have and the name brands that’s so graciously stitched into the collar, But rather, how many people you clothed, how many people did you give shoes too in the abundance of things that you may not even wear.

When we all come before God, we are and will be of one body, one spirit, one mind and one voice. God doesn’t have social ladders of success, there are no “A” Lister’s, “B” Lister’s, “C” Lister’s nor “D” Lister’s when he looks at us. He sees us all the same (For he is a God of no respecter of persons – Romans 2:11)

No religion will be greater than the other, as a matter of fact there will be no religion preferences (There will be no Baptist, Pentecostal, AME, Methodist, Catholic, Presbyterian, Christian Churches and etc.) Oh, what a day that will be where all races, all religions, social classes, rich, poor and whatever list you may be a part of in this life, will all answer and bow down to ONE KING, ONE JUDGE, ONE RULER & ONE FATHER of ALL!

We may not all be on the same ladder of success nor possess the ranks of an “A” Lister and so forth, right now, but take JOY! In knowing that one day, if we live righteous and holy, we’ll all be ONE in him and that’s better than any “LIST” the world will ever have the opportunity to put you on.

Remember, this life is not built on making the Worlds List (For what profits a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul. Mark 8:36); But rather, on making the “List” that will officially put you in the Lambs Book of “Eternal Life”

lamb book of life2The Only “List” that will ever matter…

Have you Graduated?


Last week I was faced with a situation, the situation in the past and much of the present was a common mistake that I had always made, This mistake had taken over my life so much so to the point where every time I was presented with this particular one, I gave in; felt bad afterwards, so bad to the point where I didn’t feel worthy enough to go before God’s throne, I distanced myself from God & the church as if I had the ability or the power to punish myself for God from my own sinful, disgusting self and once I felt as though I was okay again, I came out of my own darkness; after the beating, the bruising and the punishing of my own fault…..I now felt worthy enough to go before God’s presence, to go back to church, to mingle around people again.

How many times do we diagnose our own problems with our own solutions, we prescribe our own self-induced medication. The bible says “For ALL have sinned and come short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23). So no matter how good you think you are, mistakes are still present in our life and will be until we are changed over from Flesh to Spirit.

But as many mistakes as we do and/or experience daily there are certain mistakes that we should have graduated from a long time ago, Have you ever found yourself repeating the same things over and over again? You consistently make the same mistakes. Those mistakes honestly are test, tests that we can’t seem to pass. When we take a test in school, we study and study but for some reason when you take the test, you still fail it in which makes you have to take the same test over and over again until you pass. Mistakes are the same way…

When we continue to make the same mistakes, it can cause us to be stagnated in the same place, you don’t move forward in God and/or life because if you keep failing, you will not graduate, ultimately making you to have to re-do that mistake again in which leaves for a season only to return when you least expect it. Have you noticed that when a mistake comes around again, it’s usually presented differently; it never comes back the same way as it did before. It’s kind of like taking a driver’s test for the first time, most pass the very first one; while others have to repeat it. If you are one that has failed your driver’s test the first time, you leave disappointed and defeated but you tend to study the questions/answers that you missed only to go back and find out that you are not given the same test that you had taken before but a totally different test that may have some of the same questions as before but a totally different test in which you did not study for because you were focused on the previous test and its questions and answers.

Until we actually pass and/or graduate from a mistake we will find ourselves always at some time or another presented with the same ordeal. But I can tell you from personal experience that you have the ability to graduate, but just because you graduate from this mistake doesn’t mean you won’t be presented with other mistakes, hurts, habits or hang-ups because remember what was said earlier, as long as we’re in this flesh we will continue to suffer trials, tribulations and greater mistakes but in order to fully move forward in God you’re going to have to not only pass the bigger trials and tribulations – which is easy, because we see them coming a lot of times a mile away and we humanly know how to deal with the bigger tasks, but the smaller things like little mistakes that we’re faced with daily…..The bible says “The small foxes destroy the vine” (Song of Solomon 2:15)

Sometimes we’re so focused on the BIGGER DEALS and try to steer clear of them, But it’s the simplest things in which could range from loving your brothers and sisters like God would love them, a grudge, or judging others and the list goes on and on in this category that could possibly be keeping us from graduating onto the next chapter and/or purpose that God has for us.

Don’t miss the mark of Christ over a simple mistake, as they will happen but graduate with honors from it so you can continue to move upward and not backwards.

So now ask yourself a question, Have you truly Graduated?

mistake quote 2




For as long as I can remember, I always wanted my own home – I could remember being a little girl daydreaming and cutting out pictures of what I wanted my home to look like, I wanted a big house with a lot of windows. As I got older and was able to do a little research I immediately came to the realization that I did not want to start off with an apartment because to me that was a waste of money, but I wanted something that I could invest in, something that would build equity, something that when I had children; we would begin to create fond memories and then when they grew up maybe themselves and/or their children and their children’s children would be able to keep the house in the family. That house would be their foundation to remember memories of times past and build their own memories for years to come and this process would all start with me.

Well that dream became a reality when I turned 23 years old. Years of daydreaming along with months of seeking God, fasting and paying my tithes had payed off. Months before the big move, I had created a stockpile of items at my mom’s house; I did read that owning a home would not be easy as you had to take care of a lot of things yourself, like mowing the lawn – plumbing issues if there was one and so much more. So I wanted to make sure that I was good on toiletries, and other necessities that could get me by for quite a while without having to spend so much money. This home I had purchased was so beautiful it was a two bedroom – one bathroom little bungalow; it felt like home when I walked through the door, there was a bricked fence going around a very large backyard, it also came with its own storage building; the couple that stayed there, the wife was an interior decorator so the paint colors and how she had everything laid out was spectacular, along with high ceilings and a sun room; separate dining room, a big living room. The bathroom had his and her sinks and was big enough for a family of four to live out of it, it had a whirlpool tub in which 5 people could have easily swam in.

The house was my home and I loved it. When I went to look at the home, I took my mom with me – I wanted her to share in on my experience as I wanted to make her proud. She too had just received her first home when I was in the 12th grade so excitement filled the air for both of us. While we were under the car port basking in joy, the realtor looked at me and said “If you really want this house, you should get your mom to pray; she looks like a praying woman” I wanted the house so bad until If a puppy could have gotten a prayer through – I would have begged him to pray for me.

My mom, a highly spiritual and anointed woman turned to me and said these words “God said he was going to give you the house…. (YES LORD!! I thought), but he said he was not going to tolerate your sin… (WHOA, STOP THE PRESS – HUH???)….Oh Boy, I was in trouble (yes, I had been praying and so forth, but you know how you have one foot in the church and one foot out of the church) I was totally there, I was the type of person that loved God dearly, truly even; but my love for him was based on me having a clear mind – with no distractions in tow, my love for him was also based on “if I was not loving someone else” at the time and for the past couple of months I was okay as my mind was clear because I had a focus on what I wanted. (Nothing but the truth folks)

So when mama said that, I was hesitant to ask her to really pray for me, but I wanted the house so bad. I told her Mama, God won’t have any problems out of me; I humbly said YES PRAY!…..Well, after I completed the mounds of paperwork and received my key, I proceeded to move all of my stock pile compiled at mama’s house into my own. For a good two months it was just me and JESUS, then one day out of the blue an ex-boyfriend showed up at my door step and the rest…….HISTORY! He eventually moved in and my humble house of abode began to look, smell and feel different. I had let all types of things into my home when I allowed him to come into the back door, The good job that I had at the time was going down the drain; I was feeling myself and felt like it was either going to be me or the poor attorney that they had hired for me to work for, I had been at odds with him for months, so one day I got fed up with him, the office and everyone else – I packed my things and walked out…….I had been telling people that I got laid off – but in reality I had made some poor decisions that lead to very bad judgments that eventually got me fired, they wanted me to come back as long as I apologized for my actions, but I was too bull headed to go back…..PRIDE is a silent killer. I had just gotten my home 4 months prior and because I could not find a decent job and refused to work in fast food, lost my beautiful home to foreclosure.

How many times does God bless us with the things that we so desire and want only to ditch him when we have received what we wanted, YES; we may ask God for a new car and send up many prayers to him which Intel what we would do when you receive it, how we would keep it clean, take care of it and maybe even if he will bless us with it, we will go to church; and God being so merciful will bless you to get the car, only for us to make good on that promise for a month and shut him out. The things that God blesses us with, we in turn can turn around and curse him with it.

God says in his word, that if you delight yourself also in the Lord, He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4 – Please take note the underlined text, you have to continually delight yourself in God before, during and after the blessing. I had a friend to tell me one day that we treat God as if he was a friend with benefits a.k.a (FWB), A friend with benefits is a “friend” that can provide you the “benefit” of what comes along with a relationship, but there is no love involved. That is the way we treat God when he Blesses us and we ditch him, what we’re telling him is “Well Lord, you know we cool right; I really don’t want a relationship with you at this point, I know one day I will get there and if something happens within that time frame where I feel like I may want you more than what I want of you now, then I will revisit our relationship status but for right now, I just want your blessings…..if you can keep those coming on a regular basis, we’re good; no love lost.

I can’t tell you how many times I have actually ditched God, I have ditched him for relationships I felt that were more prominent than his, I have ditched him when he gave me what I wanted; I have picked him up and put him down so many times in my life until it’s a wonder he still wants to actually have anything to do with me. But God does not love us for where we are, he sees who we are to become and yes, right now he may get ditched; but there is going to come a time where if you listen and follow his directions closely, he knows you will love him right back.

To this day, I still think about the house that I lost; I sometimes feel consumed with the should ‘a, could ‘a, would ‘a’s of life. But most of all I think about how I treated God during that time, someone so loving, so good and so merciful to me to bless me with something so beautiful and I just let it slip through my hands, which was my relationship with him and the house he so honorably allowed me to have. If you have ditched God, just know that he is forgiving and a God of second chances and many more in some cases.

I would love to have a home again…and while I was foolish and ungrateful the first time around, this time I have the right mindset toward God to not serve him until I get what I want and ditch him, but my relationship is that of true admiration and LOVE in which he now receives the praise through every blessing he sees fit to bless me with from beginning to end.

leaving God


hudson river miracle

When I moved to North Carolina about 10yrs ago, I came with basically the shoes and clothes on my back; a sick baby whom had just got cleared by Doctors to be removed from her portable oxygen tank, on the brink of a divorce with a one way ticket of not ever returning from where I came from. North Carolina was the new start that I had been looking for, it was the start that I needed in order to save my life.

When I came I was living off of my daughters Social Security check – no job and relying on the system for help with food, medical expenses and so forth…..I was beginning to think if I had made the right moves, praying to God and going to church every Sunday was a hope, but was God really listening to me? Maybe I made a mistake, what about my daughter – She didn’t need an unstable mother and with her medical history I couldn’t afford to drag her from this place to that place. I had to stand still in the Hard Place that was so unbearable to stand….

Months without a job, I started taking some classes at the local college to re-vamp my computer skills; being out for a while with a sick daughter – you kind of lose your career mojo. Upon leaving the class I had applied for a job and got an interview, Thank God; things were about to look up…

I prayed and went to the job interview, a couple of days later – They called me and told me that I had gotten the job…November 1st was my start date, I was excited and overjoyed because now I could provide for my daughter, the $383.00 a month that we were living off of – was not cutting it, PERIOD!

I was on that same job for 7½ years until I moved in to the position that I am in right now. Sometimes Life has a way of presenting HARD PLACES before we can experience a SMOOTH LANDING. All the Hard places in our life are not just for us to go through because we have nothing else to do, but they come to build endurance which make us stronger in the end. I truly believe that God allows us to go through hard places to prepare us for what’s to come, what’s coming won’t be as Hard or Heavy as what you went through but will be smooth, WHY? Because you endured the heavy stuff first, which put you in position to handle your landing.

The 7½ years I endured on that job was pure Hades and there were times when I wondered if the job was from the Lord or was I being punished for moving and if I could tell the truth about it, that SSI money that I was receiving sure looked good compared to the circumstances that I faced on a day to day basis going to work. Ever felt like the things you so earnestly prayed for was a mistake? We tend to complain when we are in Hard places because we either don’t understand why we’re there or complain because we know how we got there but looking for a quick escape to get out. I can’t tell you how many times I complained about that job or how many attempts I made to get out of the job by putting in applications to other job openings, because things according to my plans were just not moving along as quick as I wanted them too; in which, only led me into other places that made my process of wanting to be rid of that hard place just that much more longer to escape. I cried everyday going to work as if my tears were going to move my process along quicker, but it wasn’t in my tears that moved God……it was in that hard place that I learned to be content, accept what God had put in front of me and ride the storm; when I learned to do that, that’s when God moved on my behalf.

It was definitely God that took me through that period of time, I learned so much about myself and about others during that process, which has helped me in how to deal with different personalities that I encounter daily –  I also learned how to smile in the midst of adversity – which was the greatest lesson of all. That Hard place of that job led me right into the doors of my current job in which starting out I felt just like the Hard Place I had just got freed from, But God had a plan as everything I went through during the beginning phase of my current job for almost two years, put me into a leadership role that I would have never thought I would be doing today. So trust me when I say, all of your Hard Places are just stepping stones to the PLACE where you need to be. The processes and things you will learn or are learning now in your Hard Place is just getting you ready and preparing you for your smooth landing.

Be Patient & Learn from the Hard Places in your Life – there are lessons there and if they are learned well, not to say that your smooth place will not have a little turbulence, but because you gained knowledge & learned practical tools within your Hard Place, you can handle and iron out the turbulence that come your way withe ease and little effort.

Although I still face Hard Places even now (and will continue too because life is one big experience wheel), weather on my job or in my personal life – I take great comfort in knowing that everything I went through, everything I endured and everything that was disturbing in that Hard Place, was just preparing me for “Smooth Landings” ahead…I rejoice because I know that God has my best interest at heart and he promises not to put no more on us than we can bear, so therefore that Hard, Solid place was just a thorn to push me into the PURPOSE that God has already pre-planned to happen in my life.

So enjoy the ride – no matter how hard it may be for Weeping may endure but a night, But JOY comes in the morning (Psalms 30:5) Believe That!!

Hard Places

The Ugly Duckling Experience…..

This post is for our sons, daughters, nieces & nephews whom may be experiencing problems with self-image & suicide, this post is also for every grown man and woman who are still experiencing the pain of self-image past childhood….this post is for all races, creeds and nationalities; for suicide, acceptance and self-image issues, see’s not these characteristics and play a very vital and important part in everyone’s life now and/or at one time or another…

Please pass this on to others whom you think might need some encouragement in this area…We’ve all been here, We’ve all experienced it, How do we help others dealing with it..



I was raised by a single mom, she had me when she was just entering the 10th grade – she herself was not raised in the most loving home; she was considered the black sheep of the family, for she was conceived by a married man; a man in which my mom would never get to know because his wife didn’t know that he had cheated on her with my grandmother. A man who raised his other children so they had daddy around, they knew him and experienced his presence, my mom on the other hand was left in the cold alone with no visible person to call dad, because she was now considered not only a bastard child, but a child whom had to suffer not having a dad around all because of the sins her mother created in secret. He was a man whom made many promises to her over the years and never kept them, a man whom she had to see behind closed doors because no one couldn’t know that she was his biological child, a man whom couldn’t tell her he loved her, even on his death bed – he went to his death with a secret that my mom had to forever pay for, for the duration of her entire life.

Love was all she ever wanted, her mother ended up putting her out on the streets when she was 12yrs old because her step father molested and raped her…she was then asked to go, for her mother chose her husband over her, she was given a bus ticket and sent on her way…to live elsewhere. Life wasn’t easy and living with others was not easy either, she eventually was shuffled around and around again to this family and that family…until she got to someone that would let her in. My Aunt Sally was a good woman – she had one child, a son…no girls to call her own. My mom stayed with her, she kept me while mama went to school, I stayed with her until I was two years old which is when my mama graduated high school. I didn’t know my dad and mama didn’t talk of him much, she just said that he was her first and that while she was pregnant with me, he also had another girl pregnant too…Wow, he sure got around.

I felt as if I grew up with no identity, I didn’t know who I was – I didn’t know my dad’s family and had never met them, so it was hard to compare characteristics of who I looked like, talked like, acted like – who’s eyes did I have, who’s nose did I inherit, who’s feet – legs – mouth and hands did I have. Why was my hair so nappy, I couldn’t get a comb through it if I tried. Why was I so soft spoken and temperamental, why, why, why, why was all I ever wondered. I was not the prettiest girl, my hair was short, my feet were long, my nose was wide, my ears were small, I was not of light complexion but rather dark, my legs were scrawny, I was bow-legged and my teeth were bucked. I didn’t like who I was at all, I was made fun of at school on many occasions for all sorts of reasons – most of them were for the things I just named. I was made fun of even the more when my mom had to cut my hair off due to a bad perm and I had to wear it in a boy’s cut all while attending school, that was treacherous for me during that time; leaving school running home every day because I was bullied, I had rocks thrown at me and was even attacked by two boys from my class, I couldn’t leave school – I had to return to face the bullies the following day.

Many times I would think to myself if I would just die, I would pray and wish that the Lord wouldn’t wake me up in the morning – just let me die………I wanted to die right away, as the torture I felt followed me all the way to high school, I tried to fit in, I wanted to look like the prettiest girl in school and/or be as cool and looked upon like them. Boys thought I was weird and girls, because I was weak – seen me as just that and picked fights with me after school because they knew they would win.

Weeping may endure for a night but Joy comes in the morning…your morning may be the next day, it might be the next week or a year or two from now – but if I had given up and gave into the pressure, I would not be writing this post today. You see my friend; what I shared with you were the beginnings and hard times of my life and while there are many, many more, this is just a glimpse of my Ugly Duckling Experiences….

You might were born looking one way, but just as it was with the Ugly Duckling things do and will change. You see the ugly duckling was so ugly; some didn’t think he deserved a proper name and therefore called him Ugly, but his mother despite his differences, loved him anyway. You see we all come from different beginnings but it’s not your beginning that determines your outcome (for it can change) – But it’s what your ending will become which will be determined how you handle your beginning. Don’t give up on life, you have so much to live for and God has so much in store for you. I’m living proof that it will and it shall get better. The enemy wants you to do away with yourself because he doesn’t want you to live up to the full potential that God has placed in you, but I challenge you today to become and advocate instead of a victim to suicide’s or self-images list. You have a dream that’s filled with so many promises ahead of you.

My transformation came when I took notice to a young lady in my 10th grade drama class, to some she did not look like a model, she did not dress like a model, she wore braces and wore her hair in many different styles that I would not even have attempted to wear and even though she got talked about and shunned, she still was herself and she let no one determine whom she was going to become. I was afraid of who I was, I was afraid of my own identity…but she changed that. God allowed me to view her because in viewing her he began to show me myself. I always noticed that people said I had a beautiful smile, so I worked with that first and began to smile, no matter what. I still had a long way to go to fully come into the person that God has allowed me to become today, but that was the first start in me recognizing that I really did have something special about me, something so simple as – my smile, changed my life.

So you have a choice and no excuses – Why?

  • Because you say nobody loves you       —–      But God loves all & cares for all. Even You!
  • You say you will never get over this        —–      But time brings about change as well as healing.
  • You say, nobody understands your pain —–      But God understands your pain for his son was killed by people whom did not understand him, by people who mocked him, by people who hated him, was disgusted with him, misused him, abused him, lied on him and sought to do him no good and even though his son died, the great news is HE ROSE! And just as he had strength to rise from the grave that “people” put him in, he lead a perfect example of what the true strength of “rising from adversity” is truly all about. If he did it, SO CAN YOU! He proved that you can live through pain and suffering, shame and defeat and still rise up to live through it all.

I don’t know what road you are on right now, I don’t know what you may be going through, I don’t know which end of the rope you are holding on too; but I know this, God is Able – He did it for me, I’m still living today and yes, I’ve attempted quite a few suicide attempts – you see I had reached a place in my life to where I felt like I made some very bad decisions that were unforgivable and I honestly thought that by ending my life that would make things better, that I wouldn’t feel any more pain but that would have been a terrible mistake for God has got me in a place now in my life to share my story, I’m a firm believer that all of our life’s trials and tribulations are just a testimony of survival for someone else whom feel like they are on the edge of life.

The Ugly Duckling triumphed in the end, when he came out of the dark shadows after being away for quite some time, he came out of the shadows and seen that he had been transformed into something so beautiful, so lovely, so bright – he finally got a chance to fly with the swans as he had always wanted to do for now he too was one of those beautiful swans, if not even more beautiful – his life changed right before his eyes, if you give it a chance; your life too will change and your situation will get better….I promise, just trust God.

The world’s viewpoint of UGLY is something grotesque, disgusting, sickening and any negative word you can think of, but to God his view of U.G.L.Y for you is this:

Uniquely made…

Gorgeous, Genuine, Glorious, Graceful, Good

Looking, Lovely


You have more to offer than you can only imagine. The only thing you have to do is LIVE.