In a conversation on last week, I found out that someone I truly trusted and admired had been talking about me – I considered this person to be a special individual in my life and have always wished them the best, no matter how much they seemed to go up and down life’s roller-coaster of uncertainty. I treated them the same every time I came into their presence; so to hear that they had been speaking negatively of me was very disheartening. The things they said of me were that:
- I talked too much (I tell too much of my business, to everyone around that would listen)
- I gave out my telephone number to numerous gentlemen
Now, I was thinking to myself – WHAT??!?? I was a little shocked but instead of getting upset and dismissing what was said as a “I have no idea what they are talking about” I owned up to it; You see they were right – I did talk extremely too much to too many people, I shared my ups and downs – hopes and dreams with anyone that would listen, I even had a bad case of sharing my relationship information with people, if the relationship was good – I talked about it, if it was bad I talked about that too (probably even the more) I talked to family, I talked to so-called friends, I talked to church members. Many years ago, I had entrusted in a former pastor and talked of many things and instances in my life and current situations at the time that I felt deemed he should know about me – as a teenager I went through many things, so it wasn’t uncommon to share things with a leader you felt like you could trust, not knowing that I was being used as bait to talk about my family and other situations as my family was very private; I later found out that he stated “If you want to know anything, just pick at Roshonda – if you pick long enough, she will tell you what you what you want to hear” in that instance I remember feeling miserable, because this was a person that I felt like I trusted – so I was always in a place of “telling my business” and as you can see, it was noticeable to others as well.
As far as the giving out my number is concerned, I not only talked too much but I also always entertained the wrong company due to me “wanting to find love” because I was so distanced from whom I really was, I always found solace in someone’s arms, I never liked being alone – so instead of working on me, I found my way into the arms of another whom I thought would take care of me, love me, treat me right and be by my side forever more; in which what I always got in the end was a broken heart. Not to justify the situations of my actions, but when people talk about you; they talk from a place of the “unknown” they are outsiders looking inside, not knowing the full truth of the situation on the inside of that habitation. So after listening to what I was told and sitting for a while in thought, I realized that by admitting what was supposed to put me in denial; felt like a burden that had lifted up off of me and my mind changed not about the individual that were saying these things about me, because I still love them in spite of, but about the perspectives now I had on myself.
When people reveal things about you, it’s never easy to become accepting of those things because in our “own” natural eye we feel as though we are alright, we’re somewhat merely perfect – with no flaws. So it’s easy to get “bent-out-of shape” when someone says something that you undeniably think you’re not…But if you take a real close look at what’s being said and if what’s being said is coming to you by more than one person then maybe you do have an issue that needs to be corrected; the things being said about you might have come out totally wrong and meant to hurt you; can easily be turned around into a positive and be meant to help you. We all have issues, hurts, habits and hang-ups on the inside of us that we have not even dealt with yet. Sometimes we know what those issues are but instead of dealing with it and coming to terms with our problem…..We chose to be in Denial because of our PRIDE.
The bible says “Who can understand his errors? Cleanse thou me from secret faults.” Psalms 19:12 – this verse goes to show that we all have secret faults on the inside of us, that a lot of times we may not even know is residing there, those faults usually don’t come to surface until we’re faced with a problem and/or issue which tends to bring out a side of us that we had no idea was there in the first place. So, when you hear of someone talking about you or saying something that seems to be untrue – presumably (STOP) and dissect what is being said, Now if it’s indeed an untruth, then you should pray for the individual and move forward, Let God deal with them because we can’t chase down every lie that’s told on us, if we attempted to do this; we would be tired, disgusted, frustrated, mentally incapacitated and spiritually unstable; besides, they lied on Jesus Christ so are you any better than he?..
Now on the other hand if the information that’s being said about you is true, as hurtful as it might seem to be and if you’re like me (have a 24hr pity party) cry, shout, scream do whatever it takes to get over that hump, once those 24 hours are over get up, dust yourself off and CHANGE! A lot of times the things people say about us, if we admit it are TRUE, we know it’s true but we have been hiding it, that’s why we get angry when people bring things out about us to the LIGHT because now that “denial” that we’re hiding in darkness has now been uprooted and brought to the surface. The bible says in Proverbs 28:13 (NIV) – Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
Now, the pain of what was said did hurt me immensely; mainly because of whom it was coming from, but it taught me a lesson, after my 24 hour pity party of disgrace; I came to terms that I do talk too much about my business and have been asking the Lord to help me to keep my mouth closed on things that will not uplift my situation or my relationship with others, but speak light to situations even if they are not great or where I would like them to be currently. Because negativity does draw negativity and listening ears do have running mouths, so we have to be careful about the things we say and whom we allow ourselves to vent too because a Dog that brings a bone, has a way of carrying one back with him…
So now who’s in DENIAL?? YES, IT WAS ME!