03/15/15 – 03/20/15
“A BEAUTIFUL ME”
This is a statement that I had to consistently tell myself on a daily basis; being the ugly duckling I guess as you can say growing up I didn’t feel like a beautiful me, I felt worthless, I wasn’t as pretty as the other girls, I didn’t have long hair like they did, as a matter of fact my hair was so short my mama couldn’t even put it into ponytails – I always wanted to be like someone else; everyone else but myself. I didn’t like me, I was ugly – I felt like I couldn’t find one thing about me that I really could embrace. Growing up I felt like my looks and character had to always be validated by someone else. I looked to people to define who I was. Not really paying attention to “whose” I was. I was the girl whom had a great personality but that was about it, The girl whom people called on for encouraging words and when their spirits were lifted I got dropped like a bag of potatoes.
I was the girl whom always lent the helping hand but never got appreciated. I was the girl that no one paid attention to too much until they needed something. I was that girl…this was not a good thing for me because I wanted to fit in, I wanted to wear the nice clothes, I wanted the boys to like me, I wanted to be popular, I wanted status, I wanted everyone to know me. But what I was and who I wanted to be was not the woman God created me to be. So for years I went to church and praised God but when I left I still felt empty and lost because I was searching for someone, anyone that would love me and take me under their wings – what I found was disaster and unfulfilled relationships that left me even more broken, battered and abused. Who was I? Why did God create me..
I have no purpose……Then I got a hold of Jeremiah 29:11 (for I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, Plans to prosper you; to give you a hope and a future) From that point on and it took some time over the course of the years but I can finally say “I AM A BEAUTIFUL ME” I not only tell myself that but I believe it, because if you’re fixed on the inside; it will definitely display on the outside. Now both my inside and my outside match up with one another. And even though sometimes the enemy likes to bring ugliness to my mind to self-destruct myself, I know without a shadow of a doubt who I am and whose I am…and if you really get this in your spirit and believe it – You will be a beautiful you too – inside and out.