photo above courtesy of Canva – done by moi =)

Okay, let’s take a deep breath now…..because since my last post? Ya’ll really wasn’t going to hear from me again, I declared in my soul that I was just going to give up writing, PERIOD!!! Why Lord!!!! did you give me this gift to be humiliated, my writings are a BLAH, BLAH, BLAH I mean, so like – why do I write, what’s my purpose and how is that purpose serving others???????

This was just the lighter side of the conversation I had with myself during the last week….so, why did I feel that way? Well….just keep reading; here we go…

So, if you’ve been following me (avidly), then you know that I have been working on a book, entitled “Billy Wolf and the Kids of Heavenly Hills Elementary” the book is about bullying and how this one person brought doom and gloom to a school in which didn’t really have any issues, this bully taunted everyone – I mean, no one was off limits; finally someone decided to take a stand against him, someone in whom no one would have expected to take down Billy Wolf. Now, I was sooooo excited about promoting this book because I felt like it’s a topic that our world and children deal with constantly, my goal was to get the books into schools and hopefully be able to talk to kids about the effects of bullying. I got my proof copy in the mail, looked it over and was just about to push the “approve” button, but decided to wait because I had put out an ad to a couple of sites, looking for people whom would help me market it………………………….What did I do that for!

I thought that maybe, the people reading it would be able to give me an idea of the market in which I was trying to reach and make some suggestions as to where I can take it, let’s just say positive feedback wasn’t what I got back and all the excitement of telling everyone today that they can now purchase the book on Amazon and so forth – can to a screeching halt when this particular person said…

I was just wanting to know – Do you have any kids? I mean did you do research before you created this book? Kids are on a much higher reading level now, they’re into chapter books and the 6th grade is now middle school age, not elementary. And what Happened to Billy?, It seems like the story just started with him coming and there was an ending but nothing in sight to say who tried to help him – I also think your book is a little racist. 

It took everything within me to not SCREAM!!, like really? Racist? and there comment was, “Well, it seems like you have this African-American young man, torturing the Caucasian kids” and I’m like thinking in my head, I have no idea where you seen that at  because clearly, there are other kids of a different race in the book, and why would I do that??? with trying to put this book into schools???? I made it very clear to the illustrator that I wanted the kids to be all colors because bullying affects all races, all origins, all creeds, all nationalities – it’s the one thing to me that isn’t prejudice.

But it was the way she was talking to me, like I was some 3rd grader whom needed to be punished for getting a C on my homework. She clearly over-talked me and every time I wanted to explain or say something – she wouldn’t take the time to listen and when she did; it was very brief and time to go. Another comment I got was that the book wasn’t long enough for older kids and not short enough to hold the attention span of smaller kids andddd.…the fact that I talk about faith in the book, really struck a nerve because schools have taken a backseat to religion, it has now been reduced to “a moment of silence”  I was so done, I literally went days with approving the book and just shut down in which is where the conversation at the beginning of this post came into play….

I shut down – I didn’t want to write again, I cried and cried and cried and cried; did I mention I cried? I was done….threw in the towel; was going to shut the blog down and never come back, Until – I talked to God.

Once I got over myself, It was like God brought this back to my mind: 

J.K. Rowling – the famed author behind the Harry Potter series was turned down by multiple publishers – for years! If she had given up after being rejected, we all would be like “Harry Potter” who?

The thing is, she didn’t give up! I’m sure there were many publishers whom didn’t see her vision, I mean – what type of story is this?, they probably were all saying – but the girl, kept going – she believed in herself even when no one else did, sort of remind me of the Donald Lawrence song “Encourage Yourself” in which in life is what we all will be faced to do at one point or another. So you know what I did? I replayed all of their comments over in my mind and took out the negative emotions I allowed myself to feel and made quite a few changes to the book according to the positive things that I allowed myself to see…because there were some positive ones.

And, since this book will not be able to go into schools because of the “faith” aspect of it; I embraced that as well because now, it allows me to be able to make changes according to how I feel God wanted me to make them. You see, in a sense I sort of was trying to take certain things out of the book (such as the scripture) to make it appealing to a general audience (note, I said “I”) – but maybe these comments were God’s way of showing me that I needed to be me and do it the way he wanted. So yes, Billy Wolf and the Kids is officially a christian book, that hopefully offers a little bit of funny, love, redemption, encouragement and inspiration to anyone whom decides to pick it up and give it a read.

So, while the BIG announcement I had – did not turn out the way I wanted and was an epic fail. I’m encouraged today, it will be okay….I’m taking my time and going through every page, bit by bit and when the time comes to officially make a HUGE announcement?

I will be completely ready this time….

 

Roshonda N. Blackmon – Creator of A Blog, A Magazine. It’s JustsumInspiration, Author, Speaker & Encourager

P.S. There will be no post for next Thursday – It’s My B-Day!! or this upcoming Tuesday 4/10 I’m taking a week off =) But, If you follow me on one of the social sites below, I’ll still be posting quotes. I love you all!! (smooches)